Get Ready, This One Is A Doozy.

What is up, peeps? Good morning to all! Finally got over four hours of sleep in one day...I got four and A HALF! I'm a regular damn Rip Van Winkle. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend, I know I wasn't for a while. But things are all good and I hope the blog will show it.

First off, to my two readers in Japan: Konichiwa! To my one reader in Austrailia: Goodday, mate! To my one reader in the Netherlands...um...hey, whats up? To everyone else, thanks for visiting. This blog is for the people, and you keep me doing it. It sucked balls to be doing this and have no one reading. I was in a hella groove in late-Feb and March. Feel free to take a look, especially at the Confederate Flag, female leads in cinema and Common Sense (probably my favorite) rants. And let's not forget Douchbrawl 2006! I want to thank everyone for voting for that, btw.

So I am boycotting Sprite again. It was bad enough that they took it upon themselves to use that racist ass Thirst doll (much like the PSP squirrels, just a really fucking ignorant campaign) which made me want to go Michael Douglas in Falling Down on the whole Coca Cola Corp. Now they have these stupid ass Apex Twin/Tool creepy video feel commercials that make no sense. As a captive audience in the theater yesterday (btw, The Break Up was not AS BAD as the critics made it out to be) I stat through one of these mindrape commercials and I must say that I will NEVER buy a Sprite again. You know, I can honestly say that very rarely has a commercial ever swayed me TO buy anything, but they quite often sway me to NOT buy something. I think that is how people are; as long as your product is good and you don't do something completely asinine in a commercial to piss off the consumer, they will buy your product. Advertisers need to take note on that little gem of advice.

With that said, I think I'm gonna start the Top 20 today! What can I say, I'm a giver. Okay, for the readers that look at this instead of working (and you know who you are) I will try to keep the pictures as clean as possible. No need for a Diversity issue because people can't accept a beautiful woman. Also, a disclaimer:

This is in no way shape or form meant to degrade, objectify or belittle women. This is just a list of women that I find attractive and I am putting them up here in an order that is actually rather open. Aside from the #1, they are all winners in my book. Some of these women you may have heard of, some (well, the majority) you may not. I find them to be beautiful, talented and all around nice people. Which is why Jessica Alba ain't on here. Get caught ONE time trying to mail yourself to her and she gets all wigged out. Geez. Let's get started at #20:

#20 Aishwarya Rai

Not gonna lie, I STILL know very little about her. The only body of work I know her from is Bride and Prejudice, and Jane Austen SUCKS. That's right I said it. The movie itself was rather 'bleh' but her acting was okay. I won't lie, I had no idea what the rest of her looked like for about two years (a friend of mine in college had her face as his wallpaper and I didnt know her name) because those eyes...wow. I love eyes. Beautiful eyes can trump out the fact you keyed my car because you were totally drunk and couldnt stand up to put the key in the door. Ooohh, did I say that out loud? Anyway, she is a very stunning woman and has maybe the more striking eyes I have ever see. Nope, someone else on here does. You gotta stay tuned! Next up, at #19 is...

#19 Tina Fey

Alright, I am sick of explaining this one. There is very little on this planet that is sexier than a socially concious and funny woman. A sense of humor, whether it be generic or topical is very appealing to me. I mean if you are a funny lady, you have my heart unless you do something like LITERALLY rip out my liver and eat it. Even still, if you make a good joke out of it it could still work. I think that Tina is very funny and has a presence of beauty that is different from a lot of other women in comedy. I won't lie to you, I thought she was damn fine in Mean Girls. I will stand by that and strike you down with my anger and love for her if you disagree. Next on the list is someone that you know of if you read the blog. A great singer and an all-round great lady.

#18 Sowelu

For the non-readers, Sowelu is a Japanese singer that has done many of my favorite songs (I Will and Dear Friend for starters). For starters, and the first thing I noticed was her voice. Not seeing her untill late 2004, I fell in love with that voice hella quick back when I was downloading Full Metal Alchemist (where I first heard I Will) when I finally saw the PV for it, all I could say was WOW. I will tell you something. CHECK OUT THAT SMILE.

I would fight a bear covered in honey for that woman. That smile is just so...warm and inviting. Not sexually, you assholes. Like genuinely kind and inviting. Just damn sexy. Combine that with her eyes and the fact she is like 5'2" in heels (KAWAII!! Shit, now I have to kill myself) and she is damn near perfect. I have heard (and poorly translated) interviews and she just sounds like such a sweetheart. Man, I'm getting misty eyed. Talk amoungst yourselves....here is number 17....

#17 Adriana Lima

Um....yeah. Watch this. Not safe for work at all. It will melt your computer.

Nuff Said. Next!

#16 Winona Ryder

Okay, this came out of left field. Very few people know that I have a soft spot in my heart for Winona. Ever since Edward Scissorhands and Mermaids (yes, I watched Mermaids and I loved it. Fuck you if you can't adjust) I have been like 'Wooooooooooow' about the former Miss Depp. She kind of has an elf thing going, which i guess appeals to the geek in me. Also, the whole shoplifting thing was awesome. Just like women and their dumbass 'bad boy complex' I have a bad girl complex. I will be the first to admit, she needs a damn tan. Aside from that, she is beautiful in my eyes. Next is no suprise to anyone, except maybe the position.

#15 Natalie Portman

Mmmmm....Padme. I love Natalie Portman. I don't know what it is, I cannot explain it. Something about her makes me smile, just like kittens do. Yet, as you read yesterday, she is dating (supposedly) Jake Gylldenhall. And I just cannot deal with that. That cost her about 10 spots, literally. Sometimes I can be hella petty. Next!

#14 Nelly Furtado

YES. The most beautiful eyes on the PLANET (aside Cillian Murphy. Yes, CILLIAN MURPHY. Creepy eyes but my GOD if I was a chick I would SO HIT THAT) belong to this woman. I remember the day I heard I'm Like Bird and hating it. I mean really just couldn't stand it. After a while (and a certain woman playing it every FUCKING DAY FIVE TIMES A DAY) the song grew on me and I bought the album from the campus store. All I could say was WOW. Just RADIANT. Yep, I am a walking thesaurus when it comes to eye descriptions, I love them. Anyway, ever since I have been a fan of the music and a fan of her period. She has a natural (and like Jessica Alba, racially ambigous) look to her that is just awesome. And FTW, her voice is awesome. Next on the list...

#13 Scarlett Johansen

Okay, this is where the list gets weird. You see, I find Scarlett very attractive (WELL DUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!) but at the same time, I have heard reports that she is an utter and complete bitch, which is a BIG NO NO for me. However, I have heard reports that she is a totally kick-ass chick so I am not sure on which way to go with that one. All of that aside, you saw the Golden Globes. The girl is damn fine. The whole raspy voice thing works in her favor, too. Only bad thing about her is she is blonde (I fucking can't stand blondes, ask my why and I will tell you with a few drinks in me) and she is kind of a mouth-breather. Think Napolean Dynamite. Even still, she is hella hot and on here. Tsugi!

#12 Christina Milian

Okay, I have learned from experience that you can't hold the past against a woman. It's not fair to her and it's not fair to yourself because you could be missing out on a good thing because of your prejudices. Now, with that being said.....

NICK CANNON HIT DAT!!

I'm sorry, I know I don't like to hold the past of a woman against them. But Nick Cannon? Man, FUCK NICK CANNON! That nigga ain't even funny! *Sigh* Even still, discounting that Christina is actually a very smart young lady (she told reportedly Ja Rule and 50 Cent to fuck off so she isnt a complete nitwit) and if interviews are any indication (and anyone who has done an interview knows that they could be utter and complete bullshit) she is actually very funny and down to earth. Now that phrase is tossed around a lot. Here is how I define it: not being Paris Hilton. Get it? Got It? Good. Next!

#11 Kumi Koda

Okay, I figured she would be higher too. Anyone that reads this knows that Kumi Koda and I need to be together like PB&J. That woman is on POINT. This is probably the ONLY time (and it bugs me to say it) that I can say that even if she had NO redeeming qualities whatsoever I would still date this woman. She could sell puppies to the black market and I would still want to be with this woman. She is that damn fine. I honestly can say that no other woman on the planet has that effect on me. Hell, LOOK AT HER!

Hell, listen to her! Check out Meaning Of Peace and Love. That song rules. Anyway, we have made the Top Ten, peeps! I will be the first to admit. What you see may shock and suprise you. Keep in mind that these are MY OWN PERSONAL OPINIONS. These are women that I find special in their own way. I am going to give the peeps a break because this post has been hellishly long. So get some juice, run around outside and enjoy the day. I will be back with the rest of the Top 20 either this evening or tomorrow night. Stay tuned! Until then, stay up peeps!

Chachi out.