What is up, peeps?! I have been gone again and I AM SORRY! Having breakthroughs take time! Yep, thanks to two friends, Boddintons and Guiness I learned that sometimes you have to think like the Road Warrior:
The gas isn’t worth it…just walk away. Which I am and I have to say I feel a lot better for it. Thanks, peeps. You know who you are and yes, I am really that fucking nuts. It made for good entertainment though and great therapy.
So I will be 30 in officially thirty-one days and I must say that I am not as vexxed about it as was about three months ago. Those in the know understand why (Identity crisis already? I LIVEZ IT!) and I want to first say thank you for being there for me in my time of utter and complete dipshittery. Also, I want to thank you for not stabbing me in the head for what seemed like not listening to your sound…and correct…advice. I WAS listening but I am kind of a dumbass. Speaking of being a dumbass, I realized that I have a couple of phrases that I say that are rather telling about who I am. Most of these came out on a Sunday night drinkfest (Good times were had by all!) but the best ideas come inebriated.
Quote #1: My Life Is An Epic Adventure…That Should be Lived By No One
HAHAHAHAHAHA….HA…ha…ha…ouch. Shit that one stings. At the same time I must say had I NOT lived what I had I wouldn’t be the lovable so-and-so I am today. Wait…AW, FUCK!
Quote #2: I Do Things and I Do Them Well. Whether You Like It I Don't Know and I Don't Care.
This has been said to pretty much all of my bosses and every woman I have ever met that I dealt with over the last five years. Explains a lot why I am single and have had authority issues at work. Hey, I’m not proud of my faults but at least I admit them. Although I wont stop them because I’M NOT A QUITTER!
Quote #3: Recent Events Have Shown That You CAN NOT Be Trusted So Yeah…Tracking Device.
Now this quote has nothing to do with nothing but at the same time…I hate you, Griff. Albeit from a nocturnal state this so rings true. And yet…I don’t give a shit because I AM AWESOME AND MY MOM SAYS I’M A CATCH! So fuck you, fucky!
Quote #4: Truth And Honesty Are All Lies. All That Matters Is Confidence.
So I just made this one up. It’s what a keyboard and a lack of sleep can do for you. Add in some spirits and this is about to get good. I am a firm believer in the fact that it doesn’t matter what you say or how you say it, it’s all about can you make others BELIEVE what you say. Remember, you can’t spell believe without lie. Holy shit….
I don’t know if I stole that from somewhere but if I didn’t YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! That is some deep stuff right there. Hell that statement is so true I cant even go into how many times that has been proven true TODAY in just walking around and seeing shit. We all have someone from who we totally believed the lies and you know what? It was our own fool fault. Yet, that statement reeks of so much awesomeness I may have to put that on a shirt.
So on another note, I think it may be time to kick it a bit old school. This blog was from last year about this time and it gave me some good lol’s re-reading it and I hope you feel the same. If not…fuck you and go look at Concrete Loop or something.
Chachi’s Shit That Don’t Make Right Good Sense!
Can A Nigga Eat?
So I for one was glad to see Mike Vick get out of jail. I feel his punishment was too severe for the crimes committed but it is the law and that was the punishment. You can say what you will about my views and I will say to you: eat a dick. So he gets out of jail and people have the all out NERVE to say “he should be banned from football!” to which I say…really? Understand something here; I love dogs. I have had the same dog since Kool and the Gang was running around (Not really, but Shaolin is one old dog) and I would never make him fight other dogs for money because I know he would lose. He aint the toughest dog out there. The simple fact is that Mike Vick was just a small business owner that happened to break several laws and statues in the state of Virginia in regards to taking underprivileged and disenfranchised dogs off the street and putting them in an environment that they could earn college credit by…killing each other. Isn’t that the American dream? That and being the greatest professional wrestler of all time?
Okay, that’s just me. Either way, he fucked up. LEGALLY. Fuck your morals and your beliefs on animal rights because they don’t mean shit to me. He broke the law, he was punished and his debt to society has been paid. THE END. It should be up to the discretion of the NFL, the players union and the Pound Puppies on whether Vick should play again. The only thing PETA should be allowed to do is die because I hate them with a passion. I will sodomize a baby seal if it makes one member cry and those are drastic measures but I don’t like fuckwits.
The part that pisses me off the most is the fact that people ignore all the shit others have done but focus on Vick like he has done something worse than others. The Hall of Fame is full of wife beaters, child piledrivers, racists and even murders and no one says shit. Didn’t Ray Lewis stab a nigga DURING SUPER BOWL WEEKEND and he was named Super Bowl MVP? Didn’t Kobe Bryant have butt sex with a White woman (Every man’s dream, don’t you dare lie. It’s great!) and he got away with it? Weren’t Brett Farve and John Daly admitted alcoholics that nearly pissed away their careers? These were things that had NOTHING to do with the game. There wasn’t nary a dog on the field during those Atlanta Falcons games. What happened to those dogs…to me PERSONALLY…wasn’t tragic or wrong. It was illegal and he went to jail for it. That should be it, his time has been served, let this man live his life and leave the decision of whether he plays up to the league.
Women + Technology = NO
You know…I don’t even know what to think anymore. How can we vote for a woman president if they don’t understand THE BASICS? Now if you have ever read ANYTHING I have blogged then you know how I feel about women and technology. I am a firm believer in that if someone violates your privacy by taking pictures of you without your knowledge then that is messed up and you have all reason to be upset. However if you take naked pictures OF YOURSELF on a medium that is easily hacked and then get upset or in an uproar about when they are leaked…well you are on your own, buddy. This proves the Zebra Theory to a fact. Let’s takethis theory to Vanessa Hudgens
A few years ago (Hell, it may have been last year) she got caught in an issue about nude photos of her that were all over the interweb. Now no one knows how they got there, but they did. And everyone was all about the violation of her privacy. To a degree I have to agree but there comes a point where one has to say “You know…people out there have gotten my pictures once so maybe I SHOULD STOP DOING THIS!” Now every female says “It should be my right to take pictures of whatever I want on my phone and not have to worry about it being hacked!” and to that I say if I had wheels, I’d be a wagon. The facts are that people DO hack cell phones and even worse if you send them to your boyfriend and you break up…what the fuck where you thinking in the first place? Seriously? Naked pictures? You really expect them not to go anywhere? Gawd, you must be fucking dense.
Chris Brown and Rihanna….You Know What? Fuck It.
I am so sick of this crap. Not those two, they are just dumb kids doing dumb things. It’s with the people saying “How can she be so stupid?!” and calling Chris Brown a monster. First off, Chris Brown is about as tough as Snagglepuss and twice as queer. Secondly, and follow me on this one because I am going to move fast on this, it is Rihanna’s fault anyway. Now before you all sit back and say “OMG! You support domestic violence?!” I first must say I support punching people in the grill piece that act a fucking fool. Now with THAT being said I am not talking about the supposed ass-whoopin Rihanna got. I am talking about the fact that she could end this bullshit quickly by saying either she is or isn’t interested. By doing that, she creates closure on the subject so everyone can move on to lusting over Megan Fox or whatever. Instead, all she does is leave the door open and does random weirdness like she wants him back. Which is fine, but do understand that people are going to call you a dumbass for trying to stay with him even though he have you the Chris Brown Stunner:
Oddly enough, I am sure this is exactly how it went down. Minus the kick ass music, odds are “Kiss, Kiss” was playing. Either way, both are doing this for the publicity and forgetting the fact that women everywhere are learning that it is okay to go back to a man that kicks your ass in public as long as he can dance. See: Bobby Brown and James Brown. And Chris Brown? What is up with dudes with the last name Brown smacking up on women? I may have just created science, fool!
Okay well I am out for now. I am tired and I need a bottle. Of you know what…
Oh soju, you totally understand me. I will be back up soon, peeps.
Chachi Out
