What is up, peeps! I am back on a Saturday morning, mainly because I am still sick as hell but I am getting a little bit better. I still feel like T-Pain looks, though. That nigga UGH-LAY! So yesterday for the seven minutes that I watch ESPN (I avoid that network like the plague once college football is over) I saw on PTI that next season they are renaming Jacob Field in Cleveland (where the Indians play if you cared which I know I didn’t) to Progressive Field. Progressive Field?! THE INSURANCE COMPANY?! God….this is why I am beginning to hate sports.
Now this trend has been going on for decades so it’s not like the naming of stadiums after random corporations is new. However, after a while it gets fucking stupid. Remember Candlestick Park? The home of the 4-time Super Bowl Champion San Francisco 49ers? The home of “The Catch”?:
Yeah, THAT catch. Well, it is no longer Candlestick Park. Now it’s Monster Field. MONSTER FIELD?! After the overpriced TV cables? WHAT THE FUCK, BELLANY?! WHAT THE FUCK?! Way to kill nostalgia, fuckers. Remember Mile High Stadium? Where the upper-deck used to sway due to rowdy fans (and shoddy workmanship. Guess there weren’t any Mexicans in front of the Home Depot) and the shape of the stadium felt like a pit to opponents? Well, say hello to Invesco Field….at Mile High. Now I couldn’t give a rats ass about the Broncos (Well, not the Broncos as much as John Elway. He can fucking die a slow death via bear rape for all I care. He will always be behind Joe Montana and Tom “Mo’ Bitches” Brady IMHO) but when people got upset about the name change, I could feel the anger. I mean is ruining a traditional name worth the 3 million a year that you get from the company that you name your stadium after? Hell, charge an extra dollar for hotdogs and bear and you will at a minimum double that number. I pay out the ass for sporting events anyway. I can honestly say that if I was a Bronco fan, I could have coughed up the extra dollar for something else if it meant I could keep the original stadium name. Call me a old coot if you want, I still prefer my NES over my Xbox360 so I am all about keeping it old school.
I understand from a business perspective the need for corporate sponsorship. It gives finances to the teams that allows for stadium upgrades, facilities for players, merchandise and other crap I could not care about because I go to game for the experience and not for the swag. The fact is that corporate sponsorship has taken over sports and it has gotten to be fucking annoying:
• Of the 31 NFL stadiums, only 13 are NOT named after a corporate sponsor. That number is 14 if you count Jacksonville Municipal Stadium, but it used to be ALLTEL stadium and they are currently looking for a sponsor. Chee-tos Field, anyone?
• Of the 30 NBA arenas, only 4 are NOT named by a corporate sponsor.
• Of the 30 MLB fields, only 11 are NOT named after a corporate sponsor. The Yankees and Twins are in the process of building new stadiums and they are shopping around the naming rights.
• Of the 30 NHL teams, only 3 are NOT named by a corporate sponsor. However, hockey is “teh suck” so it doesn’t really matter. ZING!
It’s not just pro teams, either. The Louisville Cardinals play in Papa John’s Stadium (at Cardinal Field or some shit like that). I understand that Papa John’s is headquartered out of Louisville. But….it’s a third rate pizza chain! It’s like naming it Arby’s Arena or Shasta Stadium. Which is coming, I guarantee it. Come on people! Is money that damn important?!
The fact is that most (if not all) fans don’t care about the corporate branding of their stadiums. I luckily am a fan of a football team that hasn’t sold the stadium naming rights, but the first time I hear it called “Home Depot Dome” or hear Lambeau Field called “”Aunt Jemima Field at Lambeau” I may have to start shooting people. And I don’t want that. Although Aunt Jemima is some bomb as syrup. I prefer Uncle Jemima’s Mash Liquor, though:
All in all, I am just really sick of corporate advertising. Unless someone wants to sponsor the Passion of Chachi. What can I say? I’s a whore. I’ll be back next week with the first Doucheology! Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out.
