Okay, first things first. I think that beatings should be delivered to ANYONE that holds up 4 MILES WORTH OF TRAFFIC to look at the aftermath of an accident. I mean seriously, what the fuck are you accomplishing by douching up the highway? It’s rude and fucks up everyone’s day. Dickweeds.
On a completely other front, I read on the intarwebz that Beyonce wanted to be cast as “Wonder Woman.” Yes, the DC Comics badass Wonder Woman. To a lesser extent, the invisible jet flying, spinning, Lynda Carter Wonder Woman:
Um…I must be the ONLY person to not find that hot, rather really stupid. Now put me some Sara Varone in that outfit and WE GOTS BUSINESS. However, what pisses me off is her dumb ass fucking reason of WHY her ass should be Wonder Woman:
“I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? It would be great. And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It’s time for that, right?”
…..okay, first off the answer is no. It is NOT FUCKING TIME for a marginally talented singer cum actress to become one of the few female comic book icons that wasn’t Black. Now as you may know, or if you don’t know I don’t fucking CARE, I am kind of a comic book purist. I like my Captain America to be White, my Green Lantern to be Black (Yes, John Stewart is the best one. COME GET SOME, COMIC BOOK NERDS!) and my Wonder Women to be…I dunno…GREEK? Yes, I know the Greek are a very swarthy people and they are a stone’s throw away from being Turks. However, I see no need for Beyonce to even THINK that she should be Wonder Woman. For several reasons:
1. Wonder Woman was an Amazon. Beyonce may have a big ass but she is not an imposing presence. You are talking about someone that has taken on Hades, Asmodel, Doomsday, Darksied (I believe, someone correct me on that if needed) and even Pale Martians. The worst KIND of Martians aside from the Irish Martians. Drunk little anal probers.
2. Wonder Woman was a Warrior. Should would kill Xena without even looking twice and whipped up on Superman. Give her a sword and a compass and she could kill a Kraken. Beyonce has only killed tight jeans and The Pink Panther. The latter…not in a good way. I do not want to see Beyonce fighting in a realistic aspect.
3. Wonder Woman was Greek…kinda. Created of clay (Yes, TAN clay but still clay) she is not Black. Not even half-Black. Hell, until she met John Stewart and Vixen, she had never met Black people I am sure. You can say “well, it is time for a Black Wonder Woman!” to which I respond “IT IS TIME FOR A WONDER WOMAN, JACKASS!” I also respond with “Black Punisher.” Look it up; it sucked and set the Civil Rights Movement back another two years.
The long and short of it is that Beyonce sure as fuck better not play Wonder Woman. The fact she played the race card (She did, it is right there in her dumbass quote) completely discounts the character itself and quite simply a fucked over comic book community that I have to say probably doesn’t WANT her to be Wonder Woman. Ask any of the writers and artists and I would figure they would be against putting her in because she can’t act, she looks nothing like Wonder Woman and most importantly CAN’T FUCKING ACT! Wonder Woman isn’t Shakespeare but it sure as fuck deserves better than some dumb bitch that has such a range of songwriting ability (Or songwriting acceptance because I aint sure she writes her own music) with the ability to pen “Freak ‘Em Dress” and “If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.” Yeah, THAT says female empowerment and the embodiment of a goddess. Screams jackass to me. She plays Wonder Woman, we boycott.
That’s all for now. I will try to get something up for Thursday night and the Countdown on Friday. Oh, and don't forget: Soju party downtown on Saturday! GET YO ASS DOWN THERE, BITCHES!
Chachi Out
