What is up, people? I am back for a bit after kind of a rough night (Damn you soju and your alcoholy goodness!) and overall a busy week. I was all over the fricking place as I had my first date in a while (That ended up being rather weird seeing as how it made me rethink all the respect I had for women and gave me a new respect for Jimmy. That’s one hell of a dude right there) and an assload of interviews (I think…10? Maybe nine) but you gotta find what you want or you bounce around like a freshman sorority girl at her first frat party. The KING IS BACK!
So I have been watching the “Tales Of Mere Existence” on YouTube for a long time now and damn it….they pretty much capture me in a fucking nutshell. Especially the “I’m Not Going To Think About Her” video:
I am SO LAME. So, I decided to do my own….seeing as how I have a bit of soju and courage running though my veins. Mainly soju. Copper, I has a problem. Now these arent about just ONE girl…it is pretty much three. Well, four but the last one was kind of never going to happen because she was a tiger and I was a shark. Natural enemies.
• I’m not going to think about how she laughed at the “What were the first words from Jesus when they took him off the cross” joke even though she was quasi-Catholic and I knew damn well it offended her.
• I’m not going to think about how she was the only girlfriend (Or friend that was a girl. Or friend not names Zach or Sung for that matter) I had that didn’t hate J-Pop and K-Pop.
• I’m not going to think about how she was the only person in twenty-six years to ever see me cry that wasn’t immediate family. And understood why….and cried with me.
• I’m not going to think about how she constantly battled me for my bullshit no matter how right I was….and I loved her for it.
• I am not going to think about how I hated her friends and her friends hated me. And she totally didn’t care.
• I’m not going to think about how her family loved me more than her boyfriend at the time. Which….initially made things awkward.
• I’m not going to think about how I made her laugh so hard she snorted….and I DIDN’T want to kill her. I know, shocking right?
• I am not going to think about how she was the only person I never ridiculed when she cried. Because I knew if she was, it hurt more than I would ever know.
• I am not going to think about how she made me feel like someone cared, even when I knew that sadly she didn’t. The lie was a better life, I guess.
• I am not going to think about how she did not think David Bowie was a trendsetter. Seriously, I tried to kill her in her sleep when I drove her home once but I knew that the guy from Labyrinth would not approve.
• I am not going to think about how she was the only girl that ever had me tongue-tied. Don’t count that up to me being suave, count that up to me being a total douchebag.
• I am not going to think about the fact that she is the only person that has seen me drunk to the point I was needing Jebus. So everyone that THINKS you have seen me at my limit, you aint seen NOTHING. And that makes me cry inside.
• I’m not going to think about the fact that she was a whore. And I ignored it.
• I am not going to think about the fact that she thought that Cyndi Lauper was dead just because I said so. Flattering, but socially shocking, Mostly because I thought it, too. Come to find out, she was at Red Rock Amphitheatre the next FUCKING DAY. How cosmic.
• I am not going to think about how she smelled like lavender. Call me queer as folk, but lavender is my mother fucking shit. I fucks with some lavender.
• I am not going to think about how when I realized her smile made me smile, whether she forced it or not. Man, I am kind of a punk bitch.
• I am not going to think about how I had to explain to her the difference between Pirates of Penzance and Pirates of the Caribbean. As naive as it was, I thought it was the most cute thing ever once I got past my blinding rage.
• I am not going to think about how much I hated her voice, and yet my day was rather empty without hearing her. God….I am SUCH A FUCKING BITCH.
• I am not going to think about how much I loved her eyes. I mean seriously, we are talking about the brown-eyed Cillian Murphy.
• I am not going to think about how she is the only person to tell me she loved me….that didn’t involve an argument, feelings of guilt, blatant lying or me catching her in the act of cheating.
And LASTLY
• I am not going to think about how she looked at me when I acted like I was over her, knowing damn well I wasn’t.
Man, I am kind of a downer. Only one thing can clear me up after that. Rocking sexy Jesus and his sexy body….all night long!
That is one hot prophet right there. Who needs women? The love of Jebus is all I need! Not in the creepy way though, in the righteous way. All night long, baby. Well, I will be back at some point this week. Until then, stay up peeps. A rant soon, I promise!
Chachi Out.
