What is up peeps?! I am back in this biz-natch and ready to drop the knowledge! It has been a minute since I posted (the Countdown last Friday was the last time I was up) and I have totally missed you guys. Oh, and a hello to Roxanne from Jpop n Kpop who should be back from vacation today! Lucky….
As some of you know, I no longer work at The Pack. I knew it was temporary but it was still rather chickenshit how it ended in a way. Eh, live and learn. I start my new job on August 14th (so next week is all goofing off and catching up on anime) barring a positive drug test (It could happen, I can’t be held accountable for all my wheelings and dealings) and I have some other interviews this week and hopefully next. So needless to say, the Chachi is at a crossroads…at twenty-six. Wow, I am like 15 years or so ahead of my mid-life crisis. Well, last weekend was the best movie weekend since last year with both "Snakes On A Plane" and "Accepted" being seen in one weekend. So today I give you a late...
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD: ULTIMATE WEEKEND EDITION!
This Week: The Simpsons Movie & Hairspray!
So a quick wrap up of last weekend. For those of you that have not seen The Simpsons Movie…go see it! It is that damn funny. They got the original writers back so gone is the “meh” humor of the last six seasons or so and back is the side-splitting hilarity of the seasons of our youth. The movie was funny the whole way through and in an odd (but good) move, they focused only on the Simpsons family (and the Flanders’s’s’s) which left out a lot of characters plot-wise. I would have liked to have seen more Ralph Wiggum and Groundskeeper Willy, but it was better that way.
The only bad thing about The Simpsons Movie is that it moved a tad bit too fast. An extra ten minutes would have been great (Kind of like the first Spiderman. You waited so long for the movie that even if it was a bit long you could accept that. Superman Returns went WAAAAAY too far with that assumption) but like I said, that is nitpicking. This is the second funniest movie of the year (The irreverence of ATHFCMFFT cannot and will not be topped) and fan or not, you will enjoy yourself. If you are one of the five people that have NOT seen or do NOT like the show, much like the humor in ATHFCMFFT, you will not like this movie. But I did, so bite me. My blog, my rules. I DID have to dock a half a point for the nudity, but that won’t ruin it. I give “The Simpsons Movie”…
9.5 Out Of 10 Stars!!
(A funny ride for fans of the movie, a heap of “what the hell is going on” for those that aren’t. The plot moves quickly so you better not blink, but once again that is in the vein of the show so it was to be expected. Trust me, you will enjoy yourself.)
Next we have “Hairspray”. I don’t care, I like musicals. I have been excited for this movie for a long time, as I love the musical and had a few songs on my iPod for a while. The simple fact about this movie is that it is the HOTTEST MOVIE IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA!! First, we have the hottest bishie of 2007 in Zac Efron:
Can you say D-R-E-A-M-Y? Secondly was James Marsden who proved that Hugh Jackman isn’t the only X-Man that can cut a rug!
Cyclops? More like DANCE-CLOPS! Okay, that wasn’t fucking funny. You get the idea. Combine that with the fine, Fine, FINE ASS Amanda Bynes (My god…to be the roast beef in an Amanda Bynes/Zac Efron sandwich. Now THAT is what’s for dinner!), a dance number with Christopher Walken (W00T! The Walken singing and dancing!), Queen Latifah not pissing me the hell off and John Travolta FINALLY embracing the transvestite inside and we have….the best movie of the year so far. I said it. Maybe even better than “300”. I mean the hotness factor is about even because put Efron and Marsden in loin cloths and give them spears and they can protect my borders ANYTIME. Whooo, sexual innuendo!
Now this only problem I could find with this movie is that is isn’t for everyone. Musicals are not everyone’s cup-o-tea so much like “The Producers” (WHICH ROCKED) people with not want to see it because it includes singing and dancing. Even still, if you are going to let that keep you from seeing three legitimate Oscar worthy performances (Nikki Blonsky as Tracy Turnblat as Best Actress, Zac Efron as a Supporting Actor and Michelle Phiffer as Supporting Actress. Hell, Travolta and Latifah were great as well and the Walken was the Walken) and the best dance sequence since “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off”:
Then you are going to miss out. I guess I have to go the full monty for the best movie season I can remember…
10 Out of 10 Stars!
(Hell, seeing cutie Zac Efron in a suit was enough for me. Add in a great soundtrack, awesome dance numbers and surprisingly exceptional performances and you have arguably the best movie of 2007. Once again, musicals aren’t everyone’s bag so if you aren’t a fan this could help change that. Great movie. I wish it was Negro Day EVERYDAY! Priceless.)
Okay, since I have a two week break, I have been just kind of hanging out and watching movies. One movie I could never find here was “Jesus Camp”. Mainly because Colorado Springs LOVES the Jebus and does NOT want a film that shows batshit crazy Evangelicals as being…well, batshit crazy:
This documentary was a tad on the special end. By special I mean fucking nuts. I have said it many times I am not anti-religion, I am anti-conversion. The consensus thought is that we as people will FIND God, not God will have his followers scare or insult us into following him/her/it. These people are going about it the wrong way. What I am about to say will blow your fucking mind. I said this in an interview once and I honestly believe that it cost me the job to one person (and actually ended up GETTING me the job from the other). When asked “How would you get your reps to work for you?” I responded:
Well, as a manager of people my reps don’t work for me. I work for THEM. I work for them by making sure they can be the best employees they can be by giving them direction, leadership and in some cases making sure they follow the set rules. I believe that by working for them the best I can they will in turn work for me by doing the best job possible on their end.”
One person LOVED the answer (She hired me) and the other person HATED the answer (He actually left in a fricking huff, it was hilarious). Now because I am a fucktard I took the job at HP instead but that always stuck with me. That line is in essence one of the reasons that I am so against religious people.
I should not have to spread the word of God. God is like crack, you don’t have to sell God because the belief sells. All God should have to do is be their to guide people in their life via anecdotes and common sense. Not forced upon us with fear and coercion. Watching “Jesus Camp” the fact that these people believe that Bush was “chosen” by God and that Creationism should be near ANYONE in any way shape or form shows that it’s not the word; the problem lies in the follower.
Religion belongs in the church. Maybe the home. Let me correct that: YOUR HOME. Religion should not be in places where masses gather (schools, government buildings, sporting events, the mall, etc.) because not everyone is YOUR RELIGION. That goes for all of you. Christians (All 736 denominations of you including Mormons and Catholics. You all follow a crappy remake of an awesome book, like following the remake of Godzilla over the original), Muslims (Don’t blow people up because we don’t believe what you do. It’s fucking petty and fucks up property values), Jews and anyone else that feels the need to push your religion on people and try to make you nation a religious nation. I have never once been harassed by a Buddhist or a Daoist and been told I’m going to Hell because I won’t take their poorly printed flyer. I am SURE God can afford a plotter or at LEAST a high end Epson printer. I’m just saying.
Long story short, people like the Evangelicals in “Jesus Camp” are why people fight so hard AGAINST religion. If you let people find God on their own they will be less likely to resist because they don’t feel forced. Religion is not about blind belief, it is about suspended faith. You follow the stories of the Bible because they are good as anecdotes; ways to life you life. You don’t BLIEVE the Bible because you are scared to go to Hell if you don’t. The stories don’t make sense and they contradict at every turn if you look at it logically. If you look at it as what it is; a poorly constructed book of short stories you can pull out of it good ways to live. Just living righteously as the Bible SAYS should be enough to get into “heaven” for God. If it isn’t, then maybe it aint worth going to heaven. Just a thought.
Yeah, the Deuce is back. No update tomorrow as I will be busy all fricking day but hopefully some good should come out of it. Also, be sure to check out Teqnyc’s album release party at Sodo’s on S. Tejon on Friday! I will be there and hopefully niggas won’t wild out. I really cannot afford to be shot right now, things are looking up. Stay up, Countdown on Friday and the Borne Ultimatum on Saturday!
Chachi Out.
