Aw shit, I am back again! It has been almost a month since I last blogged and quite simply, I promise the gaps won’t be nearly as long as that anymore. However, I am going to honestly say that I am not going to be updating once a day like I was during the Spring. Blogging is harder than it looks…well, blogging without being a mouthy Twitter is harder than it looks.
Quick updates: I just got back from NDK 2009 and I am fricking exhausted. From the soju and the suffering bastards on Friday (Which I don’t remember a lot of after about…8pm. If anyone knows or if anyone is pregnant, you may just want to drop me a line. I’m just saying. Either way, fun was had and odds are this is the last time I will be Chef for the whole convention. Stop crying, children! Chef may return but I want to try something new for next year’s NDK (PRE-REG, FOOL!) so after Anime Wasabi of 2010, Chef will be officially retired. Or will he…? We’ll see, children!
Anyway, enough of the formalities. Now it is time for some people to shut the fuck up. Mostly, people who are upset at the Kanye West incident at the VMA’s yesterday or something. First off, there are some things YOU need to hold yourself to task on:
1. Why In The Fuck Where You Watching The VMA’s?: Let’s be honest here; the last video I saw on MTV was either Backstreet Boys or N’SYNC. Because boy bands were the last time people gave a shit about a music video on MTV. Honestly, there is a major reason why the Countdown has gone from being about 70/30 J-Pop & K-Pop/American music to 100% Asian. The medium of music video is DEAD and the fact that MTV acts like they still play them is utter and complete bullshit. Besides, don’t they have another shitty reality show to play?
2. It’s Kanye West, What Where You Expecting?: Now I for one am a fan of about…20-25% of Kanye’s work. Mostly just “808’s & Heartbreak” and of course the FUCKING AWESOME “Us Placers”:
But for the most part, the dude has gone nuts. So why did you expect anything less from a crazy person? Remember the Patton Oswalt joke about America being the retarded trustfund child fucking up the rest of the world with are special ed demands? America…Kanye is your parallel. Which also means you are a closet homosexual. Yeah, I said it.
3. It Is All Bullshit Anyway: Now some will say that it is her award and it was rude to interrupt her speech and you won’t get an argument from me because I could care less about either one unless Kanye decided to Chris Brown her. Let’s look at this…I mean REALLY look at this. I decided to go to MediaTakeOut (Or as I so affectionately call it, “The Nigger News” and if anyone can remember who I got that from you get a free Shasta) and see the winner list and I say to myself..
“In this day and age, if you believe that any awards show that gives anything but a punch to the cunt to Lady GaGa or Katy Perry is reputable then you need to be eliminated. You are fucking up the gene pool.”
Winning an MTV Award is like winning the award for being the smartest person from West Virginia; you are still dumber than a drunken ferret.
Long story short, you knew this shit was bound to happen and it occurred someplace where I am shocked people gave a shit. I guess it was the most important thing that happened last night because I didn’t even know (Or care) it was on until I realized I was missing America’s Best Dance Crew. Long story short, Kanye West is nuts and a douche. We all knew that, so why in the fuck are people shocked about this shit? If anything, I am more upset he had the nerve to wear that gay-ass vest and said that Beyonce deserved that award. A solitary shot of three women dancing isn’t a music video, it’s just cheap editing. “Single Ladies” ranks up there with DJ Taz’s “That’s Right” as the worst video and song EVER. Don’t believe me? Go watch it and tell me it doesn’t suck. I’ll wait.
You back? Told you it sucked and sadly it was better than that trifling ass Beyonce song. MTV sucks, Kanye West is a douche, Beyonce is an average at best…whatever she is and Talor Swift…I don’t really know much about her so…she’s better than Miley Cyrus. Again, not saying much. Where in the hell was BoA in that category, anyway?!:
Now THAT’S how you make a video, ladies. Start of by being Korean, learning to dance, looking good soaking wet and getting Keith Sweat’s nephew to make you a track. Lather, rinse, repeat.
On a serious note, as I was writing this I found out that Patrick Swayze passed away after over a year of fighting with cancer. Cancer is an asshole. As most of you know, I have pretty much patterned my life around three movies:
1. Big Trouble In Little China
2. Grosse Point Blank (POPCORN!)
3. Dirty Dancing
I also follow the words of Pootie Tang, but I just can’t always understand him. It is a damn shame that he is gone because there are few movies he did that I didn’t like. I mean come on, HE WAS IN FUCKING ROAD HOUSE! Let us not forget about “Ghost” with all of his pasty white hotness. I mean, if you are in to that kind of thing.
Patrick Swayze will forever be missed, and we can only hope that the dreamy Hugh Jackman WILL FINALLY STEP HIS GAME UP AND FILL THE VOID IN OUR HEARTS FOR A RUGGED MAN WITH A HEART OF PURE GOLD!
That is all for now. I will try to be up Friday for the Countdown. I didn’t post it on the blog last week due to NDK and the Hilton’s internet connection being SHIT. So here is the Countdown for last week:
30. (f)x - Lachata (New Entry)
29. YA-KYIM - Tabun Kitto (Last Week #23, Two Weeks at #1) [Plunge of the Week]
28. Dream - Perfect Girls (Last Week #30)
27. 4Minute – Musik (New Entry)
26. YUI – It’s All Too Much (New Entry)
25. Brave Brothers feat. Son Dam Bi & Lee Min Woo - Invisible (Last Week #28)
24. DNT – Crazily Pretty (Last Week #20)
23. Ayuse Kozue – Don’t Let You Down (Last Week #25)
22. Seamo – My Answer (Last Week #19)
21. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR - Good Bye (Last Week #22)
20. 2NE1 – I Don’t Care (Last Week #16, One Week at #1)
19. NICO TOUCHES THE WALLS – Hologram (Last Week #15)
18. Jewelry - Vari2ty (Last Week #24)
17. Gackt – The Next Decade (Last Week #17)
16. BIG BANG – Gara Gara Go! (Last Week #13, One Week at #1)
15. Crystal Kay feat. KANAME - After Love ~First Boyfriend~ (Last Week #18)
14. JAY’ED – Cry For You (Last Week #12)
13. Stereopony - Smilife (Last Week #21) [Biggest Mover]
12. Tsuji Shion – M/elody (Last Week #7)
11. SCANDAL - BEAUTeen!! (Last Week #14)
10. YA-KYIM – HAPPY FACE (Last Week #6)
9. Inoue Joe – GO!! (Last Week #10)
8. G-DRAGON - Heartbreaker (Last Week #11)
7. Miho Fukuhara – LET IT OUT (Last Week #9)
6. Jasmine – Sad To Say (Last Week #4)
5. Base Ball Bear – Stairway Generation (Last Week #8)
4. UVERworld – GO-ON (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
3. Brown Eyed Girls – Abracadabra (Last Week #5)
2. Drunken Tiger - Monster (Last Week #3)
1. Abingdon Boys School - Kimi no Uta (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
Yes, Abingdon Boys School is back at #1 for the first time since 2007! Anyway, I will be up again soon. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
