So I have ranted on women, Black people, White people, Catholics, Muslims, Jews, the handicapped, college, high school and several other aspects. I even ranted about the South and that is a pointless endeavor. Mainly because they don’t know what endeavor means. However, after the last few years I have a bone to pick with certain people. You all have seen (or heard them) outside hooting and hollering for no reason and it is REALLY beginning to piss me off. I am talking about the lowest common denominator. I am talking about rednecks. Crackers if you will.
Now I have talked to many people about this situation. I have found that White people feel the same way about rednecks that Black people feel about niggers. Whenever they say things like “This is America, love it or giiiiiiiitout!” because someone doesn’t like Lynard Skynard (God…I hate them so. I like some Southern rock but they just scream “Lynchard Niggard”. Heh, I just made a funny) White people have the same response that Black people have when niggers say things like “Countin them keys, bee-yatch! That’s real!”:
God Dammit.
Rednecks are the bottom of the barrel of White people. Now don’t get me wrong, they aren’t bad people. They just do stupid things. Like live in trailer parks where tornados and floods happen. Just like Black people wear red in areas where blue is the understood norm. Same difference. Usually I just ignore rednecks or distract them by using words that they don’t know like “platypus” so I can walk away from them. Same thing works with niggers, ask one the capital of Canada and see what happens. Steam comes from their ears like a teapot. Watch out, some of them resort to violence against intelligence so choose your attack against the stupid wisely. Last night, the inbred sect on my street (and there are like three or four families from the cousin-loving South on my block, probably Arkansas) decided they was gonna shoot off some of dem der fireworks cuz’ dey make dem pretty colors and go the boom. I know they were rednecks because as they shot them off I heard the Dukes of Hazzard “WHEEEEEE-HOO!” call followed by “Look at dat, boy! Whoooo-eee!” I shit you not. They did this until 2am. No shit. Combine that with the coughing up of phlegm and I was wondering why I haven’t bought my Desert Eagle yet because I would have showed them some fireworks. They would be in the form of a bullet into their fucking engine in their Ford truck (Because rednecks are crazy about a ford truck) engine.
I’m sorry, but this is getting ridiculous. Fireworks (I thought) were illegal in the city limits. If you live in Fountain, Security or Widefield (or the Three Rings of Colorado Hell) then knock yourself out. However, if you live IN THE CITY and you shoot off fireworks you are breaking the fucking law (If they are illegal which I thought they are. I may be wrong) and need to be beaten with a nightstick like Black people in Philadelphia are for…walking home from school in broad daylight. Yeah, true story. Fuck Philly, you racist pricks. Secondly, I live three blocks from a police station. So you KNOW they heard those fuckers going off. You see, this is why cops suck here. I get pulled over going 37 in a 35 at 10:30pm on a major side street but they can’t catch people who are launching low grade pyrotechnical equipment in a field where a fire could break out. Had they been Muslim the police would have been ALL OVER IT. Even if they ARENT illegal, they were disturbing the peace and publicly intoxicated as evident of the drunken crooning of the Georgia Satellites “Keep Your Hands To Yourself” (A kick ass song I must admit). No shit. Colorado can eat a dick, especially during 4th of July and Christmas. It isn’t about Jesus, it’s about Santa. Deal with it, Christians. I am just waiting to see how many alcohol related fireworks injuries there are. You know, slowly but surely the stupid end up weeding themselves out. Just not fast enough.
Well, no movie review this week, as nothing comes out. I will have one next week for Harry Potter 5 or 6 or whatever the hell they are on now. Harry supposedly gets his first hard on in this movie! Or not, I haven’t paid attention. Oh, and for those of you up in arms about the Emma Watson turning 18 in two years thing: she is no Uehara Nami:
I'm just saying:
Now THAT would make Harry Potter rub one out. As for me, that’s F2T right there. I am kidding! I will be back tomorrow for a new Top 20 Video Countdown. Until then, it is time for the education part of the Passion of Chachi!
Animaniacs For Life! Goodnight, everybody!
Chachi Out!
