After about a week I am back and I am sorry for the absence. Things are bugging me but now that I know no one else gives a shit, neither do I. What can one do? Anyway, I want to finish something up…
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
We are in the 30’s right now so lets get moving!
39. SPIKE TV: So, um…since when was UFC and shitty action movies the sign of being a man? I seem to have missed the boat on this one and maybe it is because I am 70/30 gay that fluctuates damn near hourly but I have only watched one show on SPIKE and that was TNA Wrestling. And the only reason for that is that there is no America’s Best Dance Crew on. More on the “manly man” bullshit later but Spike has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And if you say UFC…you gay, boy. Go look at some yaoi and paddle yourself YOU SICK FREAK.
38. Justin Timberlake: Well…I dunno. I mean J-Tim has been working my nerves for about a year now because he is Blacker than I am. Not a shock or a big deal but man I think people need to remember that this dude was the lead singer of N’SYNC which wasn’t the bastion of Blackness. At least Backstreet Boys had the ballad down. “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” anyone?
37. Tim & Erick Awesome Show: FUCK THIS DUMB ASS SHOW. If anyone can tell me why this show is still on and Code Monkeys isn’t I will punch your baby dead in the face because you are a MOTHERFUCKING LIAR. This show sucks; Black Steve was awesome. Die, honkey, die! Priceless!
36. People on bikes: Okay, if you stay out of the road we are cool. But the moment your punk ass steps in the realm of the car, all your rights no longer exist. You know who you are and if you act like you have four wheels you are going to get handled like you have four wheels.
35. Mountain Dew’s “Game Fuel”: Yes, if there is one thing gamers need it is another thing to keep them in the basement and awake playing Counterstrike or World of Warcraft. Mountain Dew is just Satan’s piss anyfuckingway so I don’t see the big deal. Nasty stuff. Now the Livewire was heart-stopping goodness.
34. Cargo Shorts: Okay, unless you handle cargo or use 70% of the pockets for actual shit then don’t wear them. Especially with flip flops or sandals. God, I hate white people.
33. Egg Salad: Mayonaise + eggs – tuna or chicken = NOT FUCKING FOOD. It’s a waste of good eggs. Whose bright idea WAS THIS?!
32. University of Nebraska: Ugh, the Cornhuskers irk the shit out of me. YES I know a lot of this has to do with me being a CU alum but man, I really don’t like that state. Anime Nebraskon will be an event of either boredom or drunken awesomeness because I can’t do Lincoln again sober.
31. CNN: If MSNBC sucks and Fox News REALLY sucks then what does CNN do? Not a god damn thing. The only thing it has going for it is Anderson Cooper and he is a fucking creepy ass albino that needs to have his feet cut off because he is a demon. CNN has very little of relevance on and the good stuff they DO have on is usually done better by the two shittier networks.
30. Triple H: If you don’t watch wrestling then you don’t understand my hatred of this guy. Every six months it seems like Triple H is beating up someone that I would rather be champ (Yes, I am a wrestling fan and yes, I totally want to make the sweet love to Maryse). From RVD to Chris Jericho to Edge it feels like he lives to screw up anything good that comes about. It’s like watching a 50 Cent video.
Well, we are down to the 20’s for the next time which I hope to have up before next week. Want to do it before Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen which YES I will be seeing because I am hoping beyond hope that Shia LeBeouf with fucking die a gruesome death. Odds are no, though. It’s how my life has gone. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
