Chachi’s Random Thoughts
1. What if sperm had the consistency and taste of blue cheese dressing? I think women wouldn’t complain about swallowing so much, but wouldn’t it hurt coming out?
2. Abortions should be a rite of passage, like a sweet sixteen, bris or doing karaoke to Journey. People complain about how abortion is murder. So the fuck what? The more babies in the world, the higher gas prices go because their parents have to shuttle them around. Also, the sale of alcohol will go up because beating children for being dipshits is frowned upon. Let’s not even talk about the time it will take for Santa to deliver more presents for more kids. That’s China’s fault.
3. I wish I were a kitten. They just seem like they have it all figured out from birth. Except how to get out of a paper bag. That eludes them till their death. In a cat’s defense, paper bags are a bitch to get out of.
4. David Bowie was, is and always will be a FUCKING TREND SETTER. To all you bitches that have the audacity and lack or understanding of the awesome:
5. I hate weed commercials. They always have people getting up and doing stupid shit as a parallel smoking weed. Those people are smoking some really shitty weed. Good weed has you so high that you believe that you just saved the Princess when you haven’t left your seat. I gets high, nigga! Just playin.
6. Soju is the reason why Korea puts up with their own weirdness. After two bottles of soju I puts up with a lot of shit. Because that shit is awesome! And it tastes like rape! I mean if rape had a taste….
7. I need a cigarette. Seriously, I want anyone who has ever BEEN in a “Truth” commercial (The shitty ones about smoking), watched a Truth commercial and believed it or ever quoted anything from the commercial and expected something other than being beaten to death with a golf club and had tobacco leaves shoved up their ass to fucking die. People smoke because they fucking want to. There is a lot of uninhabited parts of America so if you don’t like smoking go find one of those areas, shoot yourself in the fucking head and die because if other people smoking is your biggest issue in life you deserve to fucking die. I hate you, your children, your family and your hamster. Your cat and dog are cool.
8. Smart and funny women are hard to find. When you DO find them, they are usually dating a douchebag, a bro, a hippie or a douchebag hippie bro. Makes them feel better about themselves. I understand; I had the phase where I hung out with people fatter than me so I could get the chicks. On the other hand, if they are dating a douchebag hippie bro they can’t be that smart, right?
9. If you drive a Prius you are a notch below people that own Scions. You pretentious pussies aren’t saving the world with your car any more so than I am by setting trees on fire and using aerosol cans for EVERYTHING. Just because you drive an “eco-friendly” car doesn’t mean that you are any better than Hitler. He believed in hybrid tanks. Congrats hippie pussy douchebag tree-fucker, you are no better than Hitler. That dick used GAS ovens! Fuck an ozone layer!
10. Lastly….Nolan was right. The mall punk chic look is kind of fucking hot:
Man, Dulce Maria is so damn fine. It's like she is saying "I'm naughty and need to be punished, but I also like Orange Julius." Don't we all, baby. Don't we all.
Well, that is all for now. I will be back soon for….something. Until then, here is some more Dulce Maria:
Greatest. DVD. Ever.
Chachi Out.
