First things first: "Horton Hears A Who" actually wasnt bad. Any movie with REO Speedwagon can’t be that bad. You fucking heard me. THE WAGON IS LOOSE! Secondly, I saw "The Incredible Hulk" teaser trailer last night during "America's Best Dance Crew" (Kaba Modern KILLED IT! Even though Yuri messed up and ended up crying. I'll console you, baby...) and um....
Anyone think this looks like "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer?" Except....suckier? I mean how hard is it to make a movie where Hulk fucking smashes shit? I mean he gets mad, he smashes shit up, he calms down and he hitchhikes to the next town. ITS A FUCKING SIMPLE FORMULA THAT WORKED WITH LOU FERRIGNO! I mean if you can make it work with him you can make it work with any-damn-body! How can comic book movies be continually hit or miss when the formula is so easy to make it work? Batman did it, X-Men did it, Spiderman did it, Iron Man will do it and even Superman had the right idea until it collapsed under its own sense of self-superiority.
Aside from Harry Potter sequels and shitty PG-13 horror movies, comic book movies are the easiest form of media to create because they have a built in fan base which means that with a marginal amount of effort you can take a “meh” character and turn it into at LEAST a modest hit (see: Hellboy). I understand the bar was set high for comic book movies with “Batman Begins” and will honestly be set even HIGHER with "Iron Man" (which will have a more crossover appeal with mainstream movie goers even though Iron Man is nowhere near as popular as Spiderman because of the type of character Tony Stark is and bros love explosions. Trust me) and “The Dark Knight” but when you have a sure fire thing don’t try your best to fuck it up. Having a Hulk movie with a plot is like making LeBron James play soccer. It’s not what he does best and at the end of the day no one will want to see him do it.
HULK NO THINK! HULK SMASH!
Eh, what can one man do? I will be back up on Sunday but until then, stay up.
