Yeah, you know it. So Wicked has come and gone and just like Undercover Brother's tryst with a white woman, it was everything I ever dreamed of. If you haven’t seen that movie, it is good stereotyping fun. Aaaaaaanyway I am sure you are wondering how it was. Well, I will tell you Sunday because I am off to see Pirates 3 at 4:15pm (leaving work early, fools!) and tomorrow…I’m thinking D&B? Anyone?
Well, it is time for another edition of….
I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY!
Here is what I learned last night…
1) I am totally…Dangeresque when I dress to the nines. Plus…cool, cool, glasses!
Yes, and I have a length of pipe in my car.
2) I got totally “fashion served” once again by my date. And once again, I really didn’t mind. Got to be humble in the face of fashion defeat.
3) Duran Duran is one of the…nay…THE greatest pop group of all time. Those who disagree are a-holes. GIRLS ON FILM!
4) Rum is good drinking. That’s all really. No deep reason or anything like that. It just gets you drunk. Combine that with honey shrimp and that is some good action!
5) The amaretto! Oh my god…THE AMARETTO! How I missed thee, baby. Did you miss me? I know you did…mmmm. Fuck yeah.
6) People should have conversation in song. Seriously. There is no reason not to. Really think about it, dance offs rather than wars. Musical numbers in the Senate. Who ISN’T waiting for the Obama/Hillary rendition of ‘Somewhere Out There’? I know I am!
7) Snow globe, fishes! WHAT! Hey, had to get something to remember the trip. Couldn’t take one of those flying monkeys home. I’m sure the cat would LOVE that shit.
8) I am a creature of habit. And my car found out the hard way. I’M SORRY, BABY! I DIDN’T KNOW! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
9) Emerald City is the next Atlanta. I guarantee, that city is blingin’! It was like a party at Diddy’s house! Little do people know, Diddy had flying monkeys in 1998. He also has a unicorn with wings that sings the songs from the movie ‘Dirty Dancing’. What can I say, Dirty Dancing was ‘Didderific’. Which brings me to my next point…
10) …jeweled shoes?
BALLIN!
Aint NOTHING more ballin’ than jeweled shoes! I am shocked and appalled that rappers haven’t thought of this! What is more ballerific than shining in your mouth, wrist, pinkie, belt AND shoes! Rappers…I am disappointed.
You know what, peeps. I am going to share something with you all. I hope you are sitting down because I came up with the most BALLIN’ IDEA EVER on Wednesday! It is going to make Zach and I GIGA-NAIRES (that word is so damn fresh!), so I hope you are ready to see me shining like Mr. Sparkle because when this blows up like Whitney’s nose you KNOW its on! Peeps….I give you:
PANDA FUR SUITS
Here is a bib; you are dribbling because that idea is so damn BALLIN’! Peeps, how fly would it be to have a suit made of PANDA FUR! Fashionable, exclusive and just straight up bad-ass! All I can say…is ‘Now That’s Ballin’. You know, if I made a song called that, it would so be a platinum hit. You know what?! I’m going to make a rap album! Hell, Deion Sanders did it:
Yeah, it’s time the Deuce put his ballerific lyrics on wax! Track listing coming soon! Don’t worry A2B fans, we haven’t broken up! Reunion tour as soon as Nick comes back! Coming to a Target parking lot near you soon!
Well, that is all for now. More up this weekend on Wicked, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End and whatever in the hell I decide to do on Saturday and Sunday. Memorial Day Extravaganza post! Stay ballin’ peeps!
Chachi Out!
