Time for some stuff. Or something...I'm kind of tired so a lot of this won't make teh sense.
Deep Thought #1: Indie Rock is Indie For A Fucking Reason
Because they don’t rock as hard as Abington Boys School. Just because everyone hasn’t heard of them doesn’t make them “edgy” or “out of the mainstream.” It means they aren’t fucking good enough for people to give a shit about them aside from you and other people who think they are fucking trendy by being “down” with an artist before they sold out. You know who else was “trendy?” Jack Johnson; now 75% of all the rapes of bros in America happen because of his music. Well, that and scotch but Jack Johnson makes the bro ready for bromance…in the butt. Indy rock sucks and no one cares that you think it is “cool” so eat a dick and leave it in your iPod. Jackass.
Deep Thought #2: Every Time You Come To A Complete Stop On The Highway, An Angel Is Sodomized
Or not, I really don’t care about angels but at least it made people pay attention. Seriously, the reason the highway was invented was to:
1. Avoid minority areas
2. Avoid stop lights
3. Avoid stop lights IN minority areas
So for what reason except for two dinosaurs fucking do people need to stop on a highway?! Instead of looking at an accident, be grateful you are still able to drive and aren’t injured and proceed to MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS ALONG! Instead of slowing down because a police officer has one person pulled over, JUST SWITCH LANES RATHER THAN SLOWING DOWN! He aint the T-1000 and he aint going to chase you down! Quit being a mark ass bitch! Seriously, keep it moving or people should be allowed to move their foot up your ass for being a dipshit. Yeah, I am cussing a lot but this really doinks my doily.
Deep Thought #3: Parents Are Liars.
So at what point did it become acceptable to lie to your kids about any and everything imaginable? I mean parents lie to their kids about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and being able to be whatever they want to be when they grow up. Unless you are woman. Yes, I went there. If you are a woman and you are broke then it is your own damn fault because a wise-man once said that “pussy sells” so if you aint marketing your vagina correctly then you have no one to blame but yourself. Anyway, I have sat back and watch parents feel bullshit about how babies are born and it always starts that “when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much” to which I say BULL-TO-THE-SHIT! Okay, all the women with kids raise your hand. Now keep your hand up if you are married to the father of that baby. Damn, that is a lot of hands down. You see, this isn’t a MAJOR thing but why can’t parents just say “babies are made from fucking.” That’s what my parents said and you know what? No kids. That is mostly because women WON’T have consensual sex with me without money involved but in the end, isn’t money involved in all sexual activity? Ladies, if you are fucking a broke dude then you have no financial analyst sills and you need to see a Morgan Stanley or something because you need to diversify your bonds…by dividing your legs. DAMN, I AM AWESOME! Seriously parents, stop lying to your kids and tell them that babies are made by zygotes and shit.
Deep Thought #4: FUCK MICROSOFT
So I will never…EVER SUPPORT APPLE. But I have to send my Zune back for a second fucking time (After the first one I got was DEAD OUT OF THE BOX which means this is the third time but I digress) for repair and all I have to say is that I may be getting an iPod after all this bullshit. I really don’t want to do that because I do not like Apple but my iPod was to be phased out by this piece of shit Zune and I have been able to use it a total of 7 time since I got it and I don’t believe those are GOOD DAMN ODDS. Even better was that Microsoft wouldn’t give me a refund even though it has a warranty on it (But I worked support and get why that can’t do it: they are asshole cuntswabbers) and even better they refused to send me a new or even DIFFERENT UNIT after having to go through a DOA unit and the same unit not working after being sent back once for the same problem. I literally had to call them asinine just to get to a manager and even then they just said “fixing it will fix the problem” to which I responded “ no it won’t, jerkass” and after almost an hour and a half of back and forth they said they would give me a different unit. Long story short, Microsoft can lick my balls.
Deep Thought #5: I LOVE SEATTLE!!!
New train of thought and process of happiness I got from a certain someone. I will say this: if I am not in Seattle by my birthday of this year, one of you is getting beaten into unconsciousness. The person will remain in suspense. Hopefully I will be there and it won’t matter. But if I am not, someone is catching a beating.
That is all for now. I will odds are be back on Friday because someone decided that training was a good idea to be had in January. Unless there is a gay bar involved, all training will be hella lame from this point out. Be back soon, ya’ll.
Chachi Out
