THE 2ND ANNUAL TOM CRUSIE DOUCHEBRAWL 2007 SELECTION SHOW!!!
The votes have been tallied, the recommendations have been taken to heart and the cold medicine is SO KICKING IN! KEEEEEEWWWWT!
Behold, the final brackets!!
Now let’s have an in-depth look at the 2007 Brackets!
50 Cent Musicians Region
Favorite: #1 Bono
Lets face it. This was his bracket last year and Fiddy winning was actually kind of an upset. Yes, he helps the starving children but so does Sally Struthers. Although she then ate them. Despite the compition (Nelly, Emimem, Clay Aiken) this is Bono’s region to lose
Dark Horse: #4. R.Kelly
After coming in as a #4 seed, if R.Kelly can get past Snoop Dogg in the first round and then the Clay Aiken/James Blount winner that puts him odds are against Bono. If R.Kelly gets past him, he could make a run to the Championship!
Best First Round Matchup/UPSET ALERT!!: #2 Diddy vs. #15 Nickelback
This is intriguing. Like I said a week ago, a 15 seed over a 2 seed is almost a given in the NCAA’s due to variance and a week team. Diddy has been quite and don’t underestimate the hatred of Nickelback (which I never got. I hate Hinder more than I hate them but to each their own) because a win here could make them the Heather Graham of 2007!
Projected Winner: #1 Bono
Like I said, the matchup between Fiddy and Bono last year was the closest of all the Region Finals so this is Bono’s year to take the Douchebrawl Trophy home. Despite some tough competitors this year, Bono has it. Don’t count out Nelly, though!
George Lucas Acting Region
Favorite: #1 Mel Gibson
Mel was actually dominating the region until he ran into the Douche-saw that is Tom Cruise in his run to Douchebrawl immortality. Mel has had a truly douchy 12 months with the anti-Semitic rants and the shitty movie. Even still, after last years performance (which he led Tom until the last day of voting!) it is hard to go against him winning this region.
Dark Horse: #11 Russell Crowe
Barely missed out making it last year (seriously, he didn’t make it on because of a copy and paste mistake on my part) Mr. Crowe gets a low initial seed but has a VERY winnable part of the bracket. If he beats Jack Black and the Del Toro/Nick Cage winner in the Second Round then he has a very good chance to make it to face Mel. And as we saw with the Heather Graham/Britney Spears Region Final last year, anything can happen!
Best First Round Matchup: #4 George Clooney vs. #13 Julia Roberts
This battle intrigues me only because no matter who wins, we are all the loser because I can’t stand either one of these people. The winner also has an interesting chance of beating Mel Gibson in the Suckass Sixteen.
UPSET ALERT!: #6 Jack Black vs. #11 Russell Crowe
Like I said, Russell has a good chance to win this bad boy. Even though Nacho Libre is enough to garner hatred for Jack I think that this could be the big shocker of this region.
Projected Winner: #2 Ashton Kutcher
WHAT?! Not going with Mel on this one?! Well, it is the underdog theory. Last year Ashton was the hunted (he was more despised than K-Fed according to the responses I got), but this year it is all about Mel in this region (and the newly invited Russell Crowe). Don’t be surprised to see Ashton sneak into the Region Final and the peeps hop on his suckass bandwagon. It could happen!
Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region
Favorite: #4 Angelina Jolie
Why do I put her as the favorite? Well, due to the luck of the draw she gets the top half of the bracket which aside from Paris Hilton isn’t as stacked as the bottom. Also, I feel that she broke up Brad and Jen (YOU BITCH!!) and I think the peeps feel the same. Besides, she scares me.
Dark Horse: #6 Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay has been all OVER THE PLACE over the last month or so and is only behind (sadly) Anna Nicole in the gossip section. Like in the NCAA’s it is about who comes in hot (Georgia Tech in 2004) and bracket position/competition (LSU in 2006) and Lindsay has the bottom half of the bracket AND is on a roll. Don’t count her out!
Best First Round Matchup: #4 Angelina Jolie vs #13 Kumi Koda
This will be interesting because most people have NO IDEA who Kumi Koda is. However, those that hate her are diehard. With enough interest this could be the most hotly contested match up of the First Round!
UPSET ALERT!!: #3 Tara Reid vs #14 Drew Barrymore
This is more by default because Tara Reid has kind of…disappeared. What has she done over the last five months of note? No booby slips or nothing. Meanwhile, Drew Barrymore is still breathing which garners my anger so this is an interesting first round matchup. It also really opens things up in the bottom half of the Bracket.
Projected Winner: #1 Paris Hilton
Now this is a given. There is almost no way she doesn’t win this in her first year. Lindsay has a chance and I despise Angelina more but Paris is like Bono right now. This region is hers to lose.
Andy Dick Fucktard Region
Favorite: #1 Kevin Federline
C’mon, peeps! The man made Popozao. POPOZAO! Nuff said!
Dark Horse: # 9 Papa Bear
It pains me to say this, but after himself pwn3d by Stephen Colbert it seems that the heat on Bill has gotten really bad. If he beats K-Fed (which is completely possible) he could win this region. I’m sorry, Papa Bear.
Best First Round Matchup: #2 Peyton Manning vs. #15 Carlos Mencia
This was actually a request from a complete stranger (which is odd, because I have maybe two people that visit this site in the tri-city area) and I had to oblige. Carlos’s humor has run its course (although sometimes he is still funny, but less and less) meanwhile Peyton Manning is PEYTON FUCKING MANNING! This could be an upset because more people think Carlos is unfunny than think Peyton needs to be put down. It is funny because he looks like a fucking horse.
UPSET ALERT!! #6 Flavor Flav vs. #11 Verizon Guy
Fuck Verizon. Anyone that has Verizon and hates it will odds are vote for this dude. You know how many times my calls drop a day? An average of three times. Biggest network my fat black ass! Flav may want to watch out, this could be a sleeper close match.
Projected Winner: #1 Kevin Federline
A lot of things COULD happen. However, K-Fed is K-Fed. And he sucks. It. Hard. Nick Cannon could sneak up and win this bad boy (FUCK NICK CANNON) but this is K-Fed’s region to win.
I can make all the predictions I want, it is up to the peeps to chose who the CHAMPION OF DOUCHEBRAWL 2007 will be! I will have the first 16 polls up this Thursday or Saturday (I have to pay my bills you know) and the second set up Friday or Sunday. Also, to avoid clutter half will be on MySpace the other will be on Blogger. If things change I will let the peeps know ASAP.
That is all for now, peeps. Enjoy the long weekend and I am out to get some more cold medicine. That shit RULES ALL. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi out.
