WHOO HOO! It's Sunday, which means tomorrow is Monday! More poor tech support and shit that doesn’t work! At least this weekend was okay. Well, your weekend just got better as it is time for....
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!: 'The Host' and '300'
So I made the trek to Denver yesterday to see ‘The Host’ (I gave a synopsis in an earlier post last year) and you know what? That movie kicked ass. The translation was interesting (not like I even KNOW Korean, but it was different than the version I downloaded and some of the jokes made no sense the way they were translated) but the movie itself had some campy moments a la Shaun of the Dead (FUCK YES!) and the monster even looked convincing, albeit in the last boss in Resident Evil 2 convincing. The acting was actually good (in comparison to American counterparts in the same genre) and the last ten minutes or so is kind of heart-wrenching as long as you took the time out to get in touch with the characters. Minus the older sister, she really wasn’t focused on but she plays an important part. All in all, there was some cheese in there but this movie is pretty fucking bad-ass. Drama, comedy (DROPKICK, FOOL!) action and even a little bit of horror tossed in made this a great watch. However, the movie skipped around a little and was a little forced in the middle but it wasn’t enough to turn me off. I recommend it. The Chachi gives The Host…
8.5 out of 10 stars!!
Now, it is time for the ultimate in homo-erotic cinema. On Friday I went to see 300 with Nolan, Zach and some other guy (Dylan? Brandon? Wait, that’s 90210. Fuck, I can’t remember!) and I must say, first off from what I remember of 300 graphic novel wise (it has been YEARS and I didn’t want to read it and pre-judge the film like I did Sin City) it was almost panel for panel a dead on adaptation. As a comic fan I like it when the story stays true to the comic (you listening Ang Lee?!) so that was a plus. Second was the actual locals. People were pissed because the backgrounds were hella lavish and didn’t ‘look like ancient Greece’. To them I say so the fuck what?! It was ANCIENT GREECE! Not Greece in the 1980’s you fucktards! Besides, the backgrounds and landscape kicked ass. The detail wasn’t up to part with Lord of the Rings but the hordes and locales weren’t the focus of the movie. The big part of the movie were the Spartans. And wow. Those men were MEN. I’m talking MAAAAAAAAAAAN CAAAAAAAAAAKE! Whoo….made me want to enlist right then. Wasn’t a non-hawtie in the bunch.
And they were wrecking shop! As Master Shake would say ‘They came to throw down!’ There were more beheadings and limb removals since…hmm…I can honestly say I have never seen this many beheadings and limb removals. And I played God of War on the hardest level. The violence really was just awesome in this. Yes, the blood never hit the ground but it was Sparta. The Spartan men were so hot the blood never was ABLE to touch the ground. Aside from that (which I heard but didn’t even notice until it was over) the rest of the movie was bad ass! When I say bad ass, I mean back fucking ass! This movie was better than Gladiator in terms of action definitely in terms of writing because Frank Miller rules (I don’t think he gets a lot of credit as writer as much as he gets it for changing the style. Yes he popularized the grim and gritty comic character but he still made it all work with kick-ass storytelling) and as for action we all know that the Spartans fought in bullet-time. It has been documented several times. Countless deaths, awesome visuals, superb dialog for a comic based movie and Greek mancake aplenty. Combine that with some great music and you have the best movie of the year so far, peeps. The Chachi gives 300 his highest recommendations and a….
10 out of 10 stars!!
(Aside from the focus on the over-the-top-violence, this movie was everything an epic is supposed to be. Well worth the watch, and MUST been seen in the theater to get the full effect. Oh, and this is so a date movie. Boobies and decapitations for men, hawt and shirtless Spartans for the ladies. Can’t go wrong with that!)
So did anyone watch that Pussycat Doll show? Why do these girls have to know how to sing? Only Nicole does and she is only above average at best. I SO remember her from Eden’s Crush! I…have their album somewhere. Sue me, I loved that show! I was watching a little of Best Week Ever before I left to Denver yesterday and what is with the confusion of being a whore with having independence and power? It’s like rappers confusing wealth with material goods. Yes you have a platinum coated ferret but who in the fuck is going to buy a PLATINUM COATED FERRET?! There is no resale value in that! Just like women using the Pussycat Dolls as role models. They aren’t role models, they are entertainers. There is nothing powerful about dressing and dancing like a stripper if you don’t get paid handsomely for it. Think about that next time you get your grind on for a free drink or just to prove you can have a man in the palm of your hand. Unless you got twenty dollars for it, you just wasted your time and are a little deader inside.
Eh, that had been pissing me off for a few minutes. People getting awards for being mediocre to shitty at what they do just because they are attractive. I am SO LOOKING AT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Justin. I like some of his music. However, there really isn’t anything special about him. He’s not hotter than Usher, he can’t dance a good as Bi and he can’t sing like the dudes from EXILE (more on them in a minute). He is literally an average dude with an ego. Oh, and he is white which helps out a lot. J-Tim may be better looking than me, but he thinks he’s Gackt. And let me tell you something, homeboy. YOU ARE NO GACKT!
Back on EXILE. You may not know who they are. You fucking should. This is what a boy band should sound like. They aren’t really a BOY BAND as much as they are a MAN BAND but still. Funky fresh dance moves + smooth R&B beats + groovy dance tracks = best band out there right now. I had ‘Lover’s Again’ on my MySpace page for a while and I just got their album and WHOA. Check out ‘Evolution’ their newest single from the ‘Prison Break’ TV show:
Good stuff.
Well, after last nights horrible weather debacle (good god, Monument Hill was horrible) I am gonna head outside again for a while. Oh, and FUCK CONGRESS. Daylight savings time three weeks early? THAT WILL HELP OUT THE ECONOMY. Aside from the costs companies have to incur to make all the changes to their systems to accommodate this change, I mean. If it pointless to Indiana, it’s pointless to me. Stay up, peeps. Be sure to vote for Douchebrawl! Only about four hours left until the Regional Finals begin!!
Chachi Out!
