Good morning, peeps! I told you I would be back up on Sunday! Okay, I have finalized the categories for The Passion of Chachi's Chachi Awards. These last categories are kind of random, which is really what this blog is all about.
Mindfuck of the Year (Thing that pissed me off the most over the last 12 months)
Wal-Mart Goes High-Dollar (Wal-Mart tries to leave behind the NASCAR crowd by selling sushi, organics and high end electronics. Know your market and cater, assholes. Oh, and unlock the doors so your employees can go home)
Tom Cruise Has A 'Baby' With Katie Holmes (Tom Cruise reportedly has relations with the Dawson's ex-fuck buddy. Although we have never SEEN said baby. I say we've been duped) All Shook Up (The Anti-Baby Shaking Campaign. Yeah, because we need to be told not to do that. If you DO need to be told not to shake a baby, you need to be shook. While fucked in the ass in prison)
Grillz (Yeah, you know how I feel about this shit. It isn't racist, it's just fucking stupid. Nelly almost singlehandly ruined my year)
DDR Shooting Star Award (Breakthrough Performance of the Year in any medium)
Terrance Howard (I have to admit, this man was EVERYWHERE ad in EVERYTHING. He even took my place at an interview earlier this year. Hell, he was even in the R. Kelly video if you look close enough)
Stephen Colbert (My new idol. This man served the WHOLE WHITE HOUSE STAFF and got a free dinner out of it. Saddam got forced into a spider hole for doing less. Now that is worthy of an award)
UVERworld (Took Japan by storm after D-Technolife from the Bleach anime took off and hasn't stopped since. A kick ass album and live show to boot)
Boondocks (Who knew a show about the rantings and mis-adventures of a black child would be so damn funny. I know I did, and the rest of the world now knows, too. Hope Aaron McGruder doesn't pull a Chappelle)
Well...That Was Quite Underwhelming (Disappointment of the Year)
Orange Range's Squeezed (First off, it was a remix album. Second off, it was a SHITTY remix album. Although they redeemed themselves with Champione, this was still a crapfest)
Superman Returns (Now I know I gave this a high rating this year but it just didn't have...it. For all its great points (and there were a gaggle) it was too long, under plotted and kind of scene based. A great comic movie, but pales in comparision to the best ones (Batman Begins, Spiderman 2). Overall, it was good but not FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC like I was expecting.
American Idol 2006 (Actually, pretty much every American Idol since Clay vs. Ruben. Man, I have never really been a fan of the show, but the last few seasons have really sucked because good people don't win. Chris Daughtry should have WON. Flat out.)
Super Bowl 2006 (I didn't watch a single fucking play of that game. I heard it was a good game but the lame ass hype and the fact that Seattle went shows that the world is going to fucking end really soon. That's Isreal's fault. Regis told me that)
Bubbling Like Vodka on an Empty Stomach (Most Anticipated Movie of the Next Year)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie (This movie better come out this year. Because if it doesn't it's gonna be hell week rolled all in one up in this bitch!)
Spiderman 3 (You saw the damn trailer! I gotta get in line right now!)
Transformers (You know, I am kind of excited to see this movie. Although I am sure they are going to fuck up a lot of it, I was a fan-boy that was pissed about the organic web shooters and that worked out fine)
The Simpsons Movie (You know, the name says it all. I hope the series ends after the movie because then it can go out with some steam instead of dying a slow death because the show has really fallen off a bit)
The First Ever Tom Cruise Douchebag of the Year Award!
Kim Jong Il (You know, I don't WANT to nominate him because that afro rules. Even still, he is a total fucktard that needs his ass whooped on by Chuck Norris.)
Nick Cannon (You know what I'm going to say, but I'm gonna say it anyway. FUCK NICK CANNON!)
Kevin Federline (The more I hear about him, the more I hope that a trailer falls on him. It's only fitting to be killed by what you represent the most.)
The First Ever Heather Graham Whore of the Year Award!
Britney Spears (Well, you knew this was coming. I used to feel bad for Britney because I figured maybe she got took in by the white trash magic that is K-Fuck but then I realized that she is just as stupid if not STUPIDER than him. She is a whore to boot because she was within 30 miles of Fred Durst. And that is never cool.)
Paris Hilton (Yeah, this was a given. The sad part is that she has no real talent except for being a whole and being of rich sperm and eggs. Take away being a slut and she really has no qualities that distiguish her from a cactus. Except she would be wealthy but its obvious that wealth doesn't by common sense.)
Wilmer Valderamma (Or however his name is spelled. You can lie about Lindsey, Ashlee or whatever other trollop you decide to cornhole. But when you lie about Jennifer Love Hewitt you are fitting of a slow and painful death, you prick! This will be the only award you will ever be nominated for, asshole.)
Now, time for the Big Four
Bishie Hawt Man of the Year!
Johnny Depp
Matthew McConaughey
Terrance Howard
T.I.
Sauciest Lady of the Year!
Shakira
Yuki (of Bennie K)
Vida Guerra
Scarlett Johanssen
The Most Awesomest Moment of The Year (All Mediums)
Spiderman Unmasks (It's big for comic fans. In Civil War #2, Spiderman let the world know he was Peter Parker and it changes the face of comics forever. I know most of you don't care but fuck you it's my blog for the most part)
The Bathroom Scene in Grandma's Boy (Funniest scene of the year, even funnier than anything in 40 Year Old Virgin. OH MY GOD, I CAN'T STOP! IT FEELS SO GOOD!)
The Vince Young Show (I rarely talk about sports on the blog because it's not really inclusive to my wanted reader base but he put on one of the best individual performances ever in the Rose Bowl this year. Flat out AWESOME)
The Gravitas Battle
(Stephen Colbert vs. Stone Phillips. Two men. Two awesome segments. A lifetime of laughs. And it makes you look at hippos in a different light.)
Bennie K's Dreamland Video
(My god, Yuki and Cico look so damn good I can't concentrate. The first time I saw this video last year I was stupified by love for these young ladies. They then became bigger than unagi and that is GOOD eating. That and look at Yuki's stomach when she is in the orage shirt. I really hate skinny people and muscles but WOW. That is just...hawt.)
And finally
The Awesomest Person of the Year (All Mediums)
Stephen Colbert for being the most important man on TV since the crying Injun.
Ken Hirai for the video Pop Star
Aaron McGruder for the cartoon The Boondocks
Shakira for...hell look at this!
Well, that is all for now. The nominees are set and I will be taking write ins via comment or email to Lo_Chachi@yahoo.com until next Sunday at Midnight. At that point I will create the polls and put them up on here and the website (which should be back up this week) to count your votes. It may be my blog, but the peeps have their say!
I will be back up this evening for tomorrow morning's post which will be part 2 of the 150th Post Uber-stravaganza! I will try to have a rant up this evening as well, but I may not do a second post for today because I walked in this morning at damn near 3:30 am and woke up at 8am so I am kind of running on fumes again. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, peeps! I'm gonna catch up on some anime (AIR GEAR RULES!!!)
Live, Love and Laugh.
