What is up people? It has been a while since I have been on the scene and I have to apologize for that. Last week was hectic as all fuck but it is over now and hopefully as will me being pissed off 24/7. With that being said, I will try to be up more often. I know I have fans (All…six of you. But you are all awesome!) and I have not been meeting your demands. So because of that…
I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY
Yeah, I am going to bring that back. I actually learned a lot of something’s today and last week.
1. America Is Fucking Stupid: So for the last two Thursday’s I have been hanging out with Young Copper and Gary watching “The Dresden Files” and drinking soju and beer. First off: FUCKING AWESOME. Second off, why in the hell was The Dresden Files cancelled but that Charlie Sheen show is still on the air? It seems like the more awesome the show (Clone High, Undergrads, Pushing Daisies, In Case Of Emergency, MOTHER FUCKING SCRUBS!) the less people watch it. It isn’t shocking as much as it is a statement on how fucking worthless most of you are. I am saying it right now: if you watch any TV show on MTV that ISN’T “America’s Best Dance Crew” then you should be shot in the face. Seriously, you are worthy of death because if you reproduce you will be flooding the world with worthless shits that you call kids but I call “dumbers of the gene pool” and that is one thing America doesn’t need: more fucking idiots. I blame you for there being no new episodes of The Dresden Files, America. I also blame you for every Nelly album. I hate all of you and I am going to Canada. At least they still have Bryan Adams:
Man, that song is SO GAY but it is still better than anything Celine Dion ever did. I so went there.
2. True Friends Are A Dying Breed: Now I for one have been the only person on the face of the planet that felt that I should treat all my friends the same whether male or female. That has left me with a slim number of female friends because I don’t think that it is a privilege to be able to hang around them (Honestly, on this one. If I had more than three female friends that offered more than the whole “I’m a chick and you get to hang out with me!” side of a friendship, I would talk to them a lot more. Think about that one. Get a personality then we can hang) and an even SLIMMER number of male friends because I don’t like “teh sports” or “teh titties” all that much and would rather watch “In Bruges” than talk about bitches. I can hang out with Copper or Zach or Joey or Griff without any incident…aside from me just being an asshole but they are too and that’s why we are boys. Now I would figure that I could treat my female friends the exact same way but minus two (And you know who you are. You rock) they get very pissy when I say the things I would say around my best friends. Now first off, if you don’t know that I say things that are offensive you are a fucking idiot because I put my opinions out front from jump street. Secondly, quit being such a fucking cunt about things that are funny and stop acting like you are too good to be at the level of everyone else. I treat my friends all the same except for Griff due to tenure. I mean if you are my friend for 15+ years, you have earned my respect and I will accept that there are some topics that I will shy away from. Understand this: just because you are a woman doesn’t mean I give a fuck what you think. As a matter of fact, if you are a woman and not one that I respect then I couldn’t give a fuck what you think and whatever you say is just jibber-jabber. It is the same with men I don’t respect but from my experience men don’t decide that they should be treated differently because they think that the dynamic has changed. If you are a friend, you are a friend whether you are a dude or a chick. The next person that tells me that men and women can’t be friends is getting shot. If you can’t check your libido or your preconceived notions/dumbass attitudes about how a male/female dynamic should be long enough to see the opposite sex as more than a gullyhole or a filler of said gullyhole then you are a fuckwit. Besides, how can we be lovers if we cant be friends?
Simple, NEVER LISTEN TO MICHAEL BOLTON. Creepy-ass old dude.
3. White People, Just Say No To Nigger: It is that fucking simple. Unless you are quoting a rap song or are just a dipshit, there shouldn’t be a reason for the word to be in your fucking vocabulary anyway. I don’t care if Black people say it all the time and I don’t care if your Black friend said it was cool. Fuck that fucker. As racist as I am, I think I have said “heeb” maybe twice in my lifetime. TWICE. Now I say “covetous Jew” as often as I say “skullfuck” (Which has been a lot in 2008 for some reason) but “heeb” is a racial epitaph just as much as “nigger” is so I rarely if ever say it. Whyh? BECAUSE THERE IS NO REASON TO SAY IT! I don’t find it necessary to call my Jewish friends “My heebs” or my Mexican friends “My spics” or my Italian friends “My stupid, swarthy Wop degos.” There is no need to. So there is an easy way to understand the Black people saying nigger phenomenon: they are stupid. Just let it the fuck go. Yes you can say it but you shouldn’t have a fucking reason to. Crazy ass crackers.
Well, that is all for now. It is like totally bed time. I will be back on Tuesday (Maybe Wednesday). Until then, stay up my heeb-bros.
Chachi Out.
