EVEN MORE DOUCHES!! Wow, that word IS kinda nasty...

Well, I have come to a difficult decision. I have decided to stop half-assing it and go full gusto on all my plans for this blog. The bad news on that is that I am pushing back the Pirate and Ninja movie release. Although the filming was going well, it wasnt REALLY how I wanted it to play out. So, rather than piece it together I am just going to take like a week and focus on it. Updates soon, sorry to the three or four people that were interested. Some more demand for this project would be nice as well.

The GOOD news of the revalation I just had in my brain is that the Douchebag Challenge will now be a full 64 douche round-robin! The four votes will still take place, but for #1 seeds in their respective field of douchbaggery. Once I find a program to create brackets online I will post the final field of 64. I will wait about a week to do so, so if you have input for someone please drop a comment or email Lo_Chachi@yahoo.com and I will give you a shout out. And a RC Cola if you are a decent distance. Mmmm, RC Cola.

Oh, and Tom Cruise: I hope its true. I told you The Dawson was visiting the creek. Oohhh, I am the insult master! And before you say I am a Tom Cruise hater, shut the hell up. He sucks as an actor and he looks like a retarded Jimmy Fallon.And we alreadt have a retarded Jimmy Fallon and we have NO NEED FOR ANOTHER ONE. Suck on that, Xemu.

April 20th. That is the day for the grand release of Final Fantasy: Advent Children to the United States. EIGHT MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE IN JAPAN. Japan, I love the sushi rolls, dig the tunes and can forgive the panty fetish. But because of this, you are a JERK! You hear me, Japan?! That is NOT cool! Yes, I have seen the movie 88 times. Not the point! You have been hording greatness like you always do! Ever since the mega delays of Street Fighter II for the SUper Nintendo. You know why I even GOT the damn Sega Genesis? Because I thought that SFII would never come! For that, I want no I DEMAND an apology. You hear me, Japan?! NO ES BUENO!

Kingdom Hearts 2 can go to hell. It's bad enough that we get the Sepiroth vs. Cloud part five battle in it. This needs to be said once and for all: Aerith is dead. I watched her die and I cried. I played until I beat the game to avenge her death you sick bastards! Don't cheapen her death by putting her in a game with Goofy.



There are four people in Geek-dom that should NEVER be bought back to life:

1. Uncle Ben: Peter Parker is not Spiderman without his death. He's stayed dead and thats the way I likes it. Some will accept Obi Wan, but George Lucas needs to be beaten with a copy of 'Serenity' until he apologizes for the last three Star Wars movies so i say no.
2. Barry Allen (Pre-Crisis Flash): His death made 'Infinite Crisis#4' the most awesome comicI've read in three years.
3. Gwen Stacy: Although I think she got bought back to life last year, and I will break my foot off in Stan Lee's ass if he approved it.
4. Aeris (or Aerith depending on the day I guess): The beautiful flower girl that gave her life for the planet.

Not gonna cry.....strong Chachi....strong Chachi....

I will weep later. I like the new aerodynamic Tifa more than Aerith anyway.

Tifa is my Valentine, CGI or not.

On another note, is it a law that tennis games must hand your ass back to you on a raquet when you are about to win? Jennifer Capriati just beat me 7-5, 5-7, 7-6(22-20) in Smash Court Tennis and it was utter cand complete bullshit. I think aside from fighting games, no video game is more infuriating than tennis. If someone would have broken in my house, they would have gotten beaten to death with a controller.

Well, that was all over the place. To recap: movie on hold, more asshats to vote on, Aerith is dead, Tifa is my animated Valentine and tennis will serve you. Well, stay up, peeps. Wal-Mart is getting the rant treatment tomorrow.

Chachi out.

(Update @ 10:25 PM)

No no no no no NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I blame you for this, Tom Cruise. I dont know how, but you are involved.

THE BATTLE OF THE DOUCHES!!

It has come to pass. I always call certain people douchebags, but now it is time for America to decide. I give to you THE BATTLE OF THE DOUCHBAG STARS!

There are four brackets:

Bat-Shit Insane Actor Region (Tom Cruise vs. Mel Gibson)
Someone Needs To Shoot This Bastard Region (50 Cent vs. Nelly)
Trollop Bitch Region (Paris Hilton vs. Britney Spears)
Worthless Ass-Hat Region (Kevin Federline vs. Ashton Kutcher)

I will leave each bracket up for 3 days. Scroll down to the bottom and cast your vote for the first round. Feel free to vote as often as you like, because this is AMERICA and we do what we want. Manifest destiny, bitches.

Also, this is a pre-screen to the 'Battle of All That Is Awesome' which will begin soon. got the brackets and the seeding done for a while, just have to create a fair tourney. No loaded brackets like the real thing.

So the job search is picking up steam. I figured as much that it was all a fix until I got officially let go, but that's neither here nor there.

*Sigh* today is Valentines Day and once again, the ladies dont love the Duece. In their defense, I am a jerk so I get used to it. But to those who have a Valentine: get bent. I'm not one of those people that is down on love or thinks that Valentine's day is just a farce for women to get extra shit. Because it IS and I hate to restate science. I'm a person that thinks that Valentine's Day is an excuse for women to expect to be given more attention than usual, seeing as how at all time we as men need to be paying attention to you and if we are not we must not love you. Well, it has to be said: Valentine's Day isnt about love anymore, its about attention.

Much like Christmas, Easter and however many days of Channukah (yes, I know there are 8 I just dont care) people make a big deal out of a holiday because it is expected. If a man fails to get a woman a gift on Valentine's Day, even if she says its not important, he goes from prince charming to Edi Amin in a heartbeat.

If Valentine's Day was truly about love, then it would be an even exchange. Women would get gifts (as is the norm because women are takers) and men would get....well nothing because that's the way the world works. Geez, as much as women bitch about how they are treated, they sure have it easy except for the whole baby thing. And stop blaming men and blame God. Platapi did, the T-Rex did and you should if having babies really hurts that much. As for the lip comparison, its not scientifically possible, so stop using it as an example. Vaginas stretch to wonderous lengths, lips dont. Leave it alone.

I have a deal: you give up Valentine's Day we give you a woman president. One term (unless she cures cancer or helps the Cubs win the pennant) of estrogenical destruction of the great country of America. I think thats a fair trade. Think about it.

Anyway, can I just say that Anne Hathaway is damn fine? I almost watched 'The Princess Diary' for that woman. Yes, she is a woman now. This is for all my lonely dudes on Valentine's Day.




Yummy.

Now its time for Bro-Hi, Shinoske and Diggy-Mo. Here is some Dream Drive for ya'll. Soul'd Out wa AFRO!

I gots to make a run real quick. I'll drop something on you this evening. Till then, stay up peeps.

Chachi out.