Things Just Got Sucky...

What is up! The Second Round of Douchebrawl 2008 has ended and there are a few upsets! We are down to the final sixteen participants, people. Time to see who is left!

Musician Region

In the Musician Region, we have:

(1) Bono
Vs.
(5) Heather Graham

Bono has made it to the Regional Finals for the last two years but he faces his toughest challenge yet against Heather Graham. Let’s not forget, she was leading Tom Cruise in 2006 before a late surge gave Tom the Championship running away. Can she pull of another upset? In the bottom half of the bracket, we have another high powered match-up.

(11) Bobby Petrino
Vs.
(2) Paris Hilton

Paris once again looks to finally get over the hump and make it into the finals! This year she faces a newcomer that is pretty much hated in the states of Georgia and Kentucky in Bobby Petrino. Can his douchery topple Paris? We will have to see! Next we have the…

Trollop Region

In the Trollop region, we have:

(1) Lindsay Lohan
Vs.
(4) Akon

Look who is back! Lindsay Lohan is looking to go back to back with Douchebrawl Championships but she has to run through the annoying African. Akon is back this year and looks to take it to the reigning champ. Can he take the title (And his trifling ass) back to Africa? Next we have another great matchup.

(3) Amy Winehouse
Vs.
(2) George Clooney

Okay….this is the best matchup of the Suckass Sixteen! We have the smug-fucktarditude of Clooney and the coked-up asshatery of Amy Winehouse. How can you pick just one! The winner of these two brackets will face off, but let’s go to the final two brackets!

Acting Region

Now we go to the favorite!

(1) Tom Cruise
Vs.
(12) New York

In what can only be called a shocker, New York makes it out of the Second Round! Great job by the peeps for voting, but too bad she has to face the original douche in Tom Cruise! He looks to make it back to the Finals and he looks like he may run through New York to do it!

(3) T-Pain
Vs.
(2) Kim Kardashian

Ooooooohhhhhh, it’s getting GOOD! I actually think Kim Kardashian is quite the bangin but in the famous words of BeBe….WHAT DOES SHE DO?! We know what T-Pain does; he sucks big black balls. Hey, so does Kim! These two should date! Although mad props to T-Pain for wearing a Moonanite bling-blong. Now to the last bracket!

Asshat Region

(1) Britney Spears
Vs.
(4) Tara Reid

Damn, this is a bad ass Douchebrawl! Britney takes on Tara in what I believe is a rematch of Douchebrawl 2006. Can Britney FINALLY make it to the finals or will Tara continue on after finally getting out of the Second Round? Now for the final matchup.

(3) Kevin Federline
Vs.
(2) 50 Cent

We have a rematch of the 2006 Regional Finals of the Musician Region of Douchebrawl! That time, K-Fed took out Fiddy in route to a shocking loss to Heather Graham. Can Curtis return the favor? It’s up to you!

The brackets are set, the polls are up and it is up to you to cast your votes! The polls will close on 10PM EST on next Sunday so be sure to make your pick! Until then, the power is yours! Too bad I don’t have the power at all guess it’s time to move on:

각 경련의 뒤에 실연은 이다.

Diddy Out.

The Boise Are Back.

What is up peeps?! I am back on a rather dull Sunday to recap an….interesting week. As most of you know, I had to take a four day trip to Boise for work and needless to say I was a tad bit shocked with what I found. Some good, some bad.

Pros: Alcohol Is Cheap.

And I mean REAL CHEAP. My bill for the THREE nights there was the exact same is it was for the Friday night before I left at PF Chang’s. THREE KNIGHTS OF HEAVY ASS DRINKING COST LESS THAN ONE NIGHT IN THIS HELL HOLE. That is fucking stupid. With more people to acquire revenue from, you would figure that the cost of alcohol here would be cheaper since they charge a cover to boot. That is just irritating. I have said it before and I will say it again: The only think that keeps me from being an alcoholic is the cost.

Cons: Wow….I REALLY Don’t Like Lynard Skynard.

FUCK LYNARD SKYNARD! FUCK THEM! Seriously, they fucking suck and White people that love them only love their cousins more. I understand that redneck bars have their place (Just not in America because you fucktards lost the war) and quite simply I don’t belong there. However…yelling “hee-haw” doesn’t make anything better.

Pros: IT’S RAINING MEN!

So on the first night I was there, some co-workers and I partook in the nightlife that was Boise. After some rather interesting developments (Waking up everyone from Boise to Idaho Falls with our yelling, peeing in a bush, peeing on a building, hitting on lesbians) we decided to end our night at a bar/club called “The Balcony.” After going in and scoping we thought it would be a nice place had it not been a Tuesday at about midnight. Then…we realized something. This bar was full of dudes. Then, to top it all off, the bartender called me “sexy.” Now, I know that Asians dig me and all but that was just weird. Because he looked like that dude from MadTV except with muscles:

Nice guy and all but I wasn’t ready for that. However, I went back on Wednesday night when the group and I separated and it wasn’t all that bad! A whole lot of Cher (Which I thought was a stereotype but here I stand corrected) and guys dancing a little too close but aside from that it was hella fun. Felt bad for taking the drinks they bought me, though. Also, it seems that men think cologne smells nice while women think it is pretentious. Who knew?

Cons: Um….Isn’t This Widefield?

So while the majority of my time was spent downtown Boise, there were times we had to bite the bullet and actually train. And that drive to BFE Idaho just made me think…is this Highway 87? Literally, it was like going to that big ass rocking chair before you get to Fountain. Also, the town literally looks like someone took the CSP, cut the mountains down a third, took away 90% of the black people and 100% of the Mexicans (They were THERE I am sure but I didn’t see nary a one. Even the COOKS AND LABORORS were white!) and put it in an even worse state. I was also in a small section of the city but still.

Pros: Bikini Bull Riding

If I have to explain why that is awesome….then there is something wrong with you. Not only that, the bartenders wore chaps and panties. I mean, that is kind of a recipe for business. Although their bartending skills left a lot to be desired and they boobs were faker than their personalities (I mean seriously, bartenders now are just strippers that watched “Cocktail” three times. Saaaaaaad) but overall….dude BIKINI BULL RIDING! I’m all for respecting women (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You know, I’m alright!) but man, that is good stuff.

Overall, Boise wasn’t great. It was a nice breath of fresh air from Colorado Springs but at the end of the day its luster would wear off. There really isn’t much to the area and it seems a little bit too sleepy for my tastes. Despite that, I saw two police officers the whole trip and didn’t see a single homeless person or bro the whole time. Which by default makes it the greatest city ever. It is a great place to live as you can fly to Seattle (or even drive for a three day weekend) and it’s out of the way from the hustle abd bustle of city life. However, to visit means you have no real business there EXCEPT business and it wears thin after a few days. In all serious, it wasn’t bad I just couldn’t live there unless I was TOTALLY ballin and wanted to live somewhere that looked like the city in Napoleon Dynamite:

I couldn’t find the Rex-Kwon-Do Dojo, BTW. Overall, it’s like they said in “Suburban Commando”. It’s a nice place to live, but I wouldn’t want to visit. Yes, I just gave a “Suburban Commando” reference.

So that is all for now. The Second Round of Douchebrawl will end at 8pm MST tonight and the results will be up shortly afterward. Also, my next post will be based off of the summer movie blockbusters seeing as how my raging orgasm last night at “10,000 BC” during the “Iron Man” trailer woke the ghost of Captain America. Until then, I am going to run the streets for a bit. Peace out, peeps.

Diddy Out.