Sunday, May 21, 2006

Breaking the Code

So, I know it has been a week since the last update. All I can say to that is rough week. No sleep, awake all the time and really confusing. I would tell you more, peeps but I'd rather not. Let's just say that life ain't a fucking box of chocolates, it's a quandary wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a question. Much like women are.

Speaking of boxes of chocolates, I saw the Da Vinci Code yesterday and it....really wasn't bad at all. I read the book when it first came out (I can't read! I'm not a loser!) and haven't touched it since. As a matter of fact, I think I loaned it to a classmate and never got it back. Anyway, the movie was very good if you never read the book. Think about it:

Doc Ock? CHECK
Magneto? CHECK
Insane Albino Monks? CHECK
A nun getting her ass WHOOPED ON by the aforementioned Albino Monk? CHECK
No Heath Ledger or Colin Farrel? CHECK
Theories that match my own about Jesus just being a hippie with cool ideas instead of a Jewish Keanu Reeves? CHECK
Thinly veiled vagina and penis jokes? CHECK
No Bears? CHECK
Somebody FINALLY serving those bible freaks that feel that murder is justified ONLY if it is for their cause? FUCK YEAH!
No black people? CHECK
Tom Hanks sporting the stupid-ass Steve Nash look? CHECK, and worth a hearty chuckle.

Just by those points alone, this movie is tolerable. Then add in the fact that Tom Cruise was NO WHERE NEAR IT and you have a movie that is well worth watching. I was disappointed there were no protesters. I would figure a movie that questioned the very BASIS of Jesus being the son of God would have had at least ONE fucktard telling me I was going to hell. At least then I could have brandished the beating stick and claimed self-defense:

'That kid was gonna beat me with a bible! I had to protect myself! By hitting him 74 times in the ribs and leg with a stick. Officer, kids are cunning I had to act fast!'

Eh, maybe not. Wow, I really crossed a line there. I guess that is what makes me so damn awesome. All in all, The Da Vinci Code was a good movie (not up there with Grandma's Boy or Thank You For Smoking) that is worth the watch. And Christians: let it go. It's a FAKE movie about a book of...stuff. Get a grip, Opie (Ron Howard) is not questioning your beliefs and Dan Brown is not Solomon Rushdie. It is a fucking movie, give it a whirl you might like it (except for the man ass in the beginning. AWKWAAAAARD) After what George Lucas did to Star Wars, I believe that Star Wars fans have more of a beef about bastardizing a book than Christians do. Did you SEE Revenge of the (Steaming) Sith?! BASTARD! If this were in it, the movie may not have sucked it so hard:

What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?! Priceless. So a long time ago (January, I think) I posted how much loved the Jesus Dance webpage. Well, a while ago I got an e-mail from the creator of the website saying he was taking it down due to pressure and other factors. Well, that site KICKED ASS and I am pretty sure that Jesus cut quite the rug in his day. With today being Sunday and the Da Vinci Code being in theaters, I figured today is the day to give Jesus some props. I bring to you a mirror to the Jesus Dance. Oh, and that song is classic.

Speaking of songs, I guess my J-Pop collection is gonna get a little bit bigger. I know I said last week that I was gonna have to cut back because nothing new has been released in a while. Much like fall of 2005 when I gave up on hip hop (Two words: Nelly's Grillz) but Common, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Kanye West and Little Brother came out back-to-back and made me a fan again, I have been drug back into J-Pop. You peeps may (or may not if you are new to the blog) know of Sowelu from an earlier post in the blog (I think 'Dope Space Chachi' was the entry) when I posted the Live from Budokan clip with M-Flo when they performed So Exclusive. She also did I Will, a closing theme to Full Metal Alchemist (4th season I think. I posted earlier it was from Samurai Champaloo but that was a different kick ass song altogether). Check it out:

That song was my jam for a minute. Anyway, Sowelu has a new single and it is some poppy goodness. I ordered last week online and just put it on my iPod and I must say, this song is very happy. And hey, I'm a happy guy. I give to you Sowelu with Dear Friend.

Crap, I'm just gonna say it: that video is fucking cute. I will not use kawaii to describe that video, but it was just so damn...happy action fun time. Yeah, great stuff. Looking forward to the album, too. If I can ever find out when it is coming. The second person that has me back on the J-Pop train is Namie Amuro. Now I have been a fan of Namie's for a while, I even put up with that Pink Panther bullshit from her previous album so I must say I was looking forward to this. I preordered the single (8 bucks is fucking STEEP, but eh Namie is worth it and there is a sweet remix and b-side on it) and got it on the 18th. All I can say is...hells yeah. The song is catchy and very hip-popish, which I am digging lately. Whoever does her beats needs to do some stateside, IMHO. I am sick of every other beat being Kanye, Pharell or Just Blaze. Anyway, Can't Eat, Can't Sleep, I'm Sick is a kick ass jam. Just downloaded the PV and it is not to shabby either. Check it out, peeps. If you like hip-pop you won't be disappointed:

I STILL think she needs a sandwich, but I'm not gonna complain. Very attractive young lady who I would like to take out for coffee. For the peeps that have been on this blog for a while, have you noticed how her dancing is becoming a little less robotic? Unlike Hyori Lee (who moves like her dance steps are installed in a microprocessor and sodered to her damn skull), Namie is looking very seamless in the dance move department. It's about time because I was gonna start comparing her to Jessica Simpson in the skill department and that ain't good.

So, while updating my iPod I found an older song that I am wondering about. If there are any anime fans reading this post: whatever happened to the group that made Gessekai? I know this song is from Nightwalker (which I STILL haven't seen, mind you) but I haven't been able to find much out about them since. This song RULES ALL, mainly because it has a Depeche Mode feel to it that I dig. Little known fack: I used to LOVE Depeche Mode. Seven years overseas will do that to you. Anyway, check this song out. The video leaves a lot to be desired but the song is bad ass.

Yeah, that's a meditator right there.

So I am watching MTV Jams for a second (they had A Rollerskating Jam Named Saturdays by De La Soul on. Who knew MTV played good stuff in between the SHIT?) and...where does one rap video end and the next begin? They played a block of videos and I thought it was all one video just a change of cities. It is really awkward, because I can not defend the statement that 'rap has gotten stale' because it REALLY has. The Rick Ross Hustlin, DJ Somedude Holla @ Me Baby, T.I.'s What You Know (and dont get me wrong, T.I. is my dog) and Dem Franchise Boys 'Ridin On' feel like the SAME DAMN VIDEO and for the most part are the same damn song. Everything is STILL about cars, chains, women and money. Ignorance is STILL spreading. To take what Common said and kind of make it my own:

'We tried so hard to break away from whips and chains, yet we strive to get whips and chains and STILL don't understand the pains.'

For those that DON'T know, whips and chains are cars and jewelry. We teach at The Passion of Chachi, as well. Even worse, I went to Best Buy to ask about the new Gnarls Barkley album (the Danger Mouse/Cee-Lo collaberation) and they looked at me like I was nuts. When I told them what the album was, some random black dude said 'Man, Cee-Lo sucks now. That nigga aint even a rapper no more.' So, to keep from gouging his eyes out I just said I would try another store. You know, I LOVE how Cee-Lo ain't real beacause he branches out into new realms of music but 50 Cent can make a shitty movie and still be beloved by dumb ass youths of all colors. Well, fuck them Cee-Lo kicks ass and so does Gnarls Barkley. Here is my free advertising for the week. I give you Crazy:

Yeah, I prefer that over that shitty "Best Friend" song or the new Mobb Deep any day.

News flash...Mariah Carey is still batshit-crazy. Not as bad as she was or up to par with Tom Cruise or Mel Gibson (he has been quiet but this is the calm before the storm) but she is still a few eggs short of a full dozen. Just had to get that out. Speaking of crazy, Ray Nagin was re-elected as the Mayor of New Orleans. Yep. I got nothing on that one. For the first time ever, I have nothing to say. Wait, I do:

(O_o)
WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

*Sigh*

Well, long update today. Hopefully it will tide you over until the next update (either Wednesday or Thursday). Chachi is busy, tired and hella confused right now. Left is cheese and north is Cambodia. Hopefully I will get normal this week. Oh, I will be up on Saturday to give you a run-down of X-Men 3. Like I said, if this movie sucks I am going to go ballistic on someone. Anyway, stay up peeps.

Chachi out.