What's up, everybody? Sorry no update yesterday, I needed to catch up on some sleep. I'm feeling super now, thanks for asking! With that being said, it's time for Douche of the Week!
Douche of the Week: Kim Jong Il
Now I'm not gonna lie, Kim Jong Il had this award wrapped after pulling Cartman and doing whateva he wants by launching missles at Japan. What is funnier is that it came NO WHERE EVEN CLOSE to hitting it. I just threw a fucking show and I came closer to hitting Osaka than the Tapadongdadongdongdong Version 2. Yet, I can't stop laughing at the fucktard long enough to be mad at him. I mean does he really think that threatening NUCLEAR WAR on the United States is going to get the world behind North Korea? What the fuck, Kim are you a retard? As big a bunch of pussies as 90% of the world is, even THEY know that no good will come out of a nuclear war and they will side with us against North Korea solely for the fact that they want to fucking LIVE. Remember when India and Pakistan were threatening nuking eachother? Exactly because that shit got squelched quick. The world would rather sit through another season of Fat Actress than have a war started, especially by some chucklehead like Kim Jong Il. I always figured it would be Chavez who grew the stones to challenge us but I was wrong. The 'fro is strong in Kimmy. So Kim, for threatening the end of the world because you are a lonely fuck with bad hair, you are officially the Douche of the Week! Congratulations, moron.
So with that being said, I am finalizing the music nomines for the Chachi's and I will begin finalizing the film nominees this week after work. The Council of Awesomeness will have its' first official meeting this Saturday (or Sunday, depends on how Friday pans out) to discuss the nominees and take the peeps suggestions into account. I know it was supposed to happen THIS week, but Rock Bottom Brewery sucks the ass. Here are the final nominees for the music categories:
Best Hip Hop Artist/Group
Common
Soul'd Out
T.I.
Kanye West
Best Rock Artist/Group
UVERworld
Avenged Sevenfold
Hyde
Hawthorne Heights (I like these guys, not sure why)
Best Pop (Female)
Gwen Stefani
BoA
Kelly Clarkson
Bennie K
Best Pop (Male)
Se7en
Rob Thomas
Ken Hirai
Best R&B (Male)
John Legend
Ne-Yo
Trey Songz
Kem (If you don't know who he is, shame the FUCK ON YOU)
Best R&B (Female)
Mary J. Blige
Crystal Kay
Rhianna
Floetry
Michael Jackson is NOT A GENRE OF MUSIC Award
Chris Brown
Omarion
Justin Timberlake
Ne-Yo
The Windows Up Jam of the Year
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
L.O.V.E. - Ashlee Simpson
Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It - Dem Franchise Boyz
Pop Star - Ken Hirai (I roll to this jam with the windows down, mind you.)
The Rip Out Your Ear Drums With A Fork If You Hear It Again Song of the Year
Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx
What You Know - T.I.
Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Grillz - Nelly
Because No One Demanded It Award
Stars Something Something - Paris Hilton (I actually havent HEARD the song, but it sucks.)
Dime Piece - Nick Cannon (FUCK NICK CANNON!)
Popozao - Kevin Federline (Yeah. The title speaks for it-fucking-self. SHIT ON TAPE)
Laffy Taffy - D4L (The one group I believe would benefit by being SHOT. Tupac style. Too soon to make fun of rappers dying in a hail of gunfire? Not for me.)
'I Swear I'm Not A Whore!' Song of the Year
Don't Cha - Pussycat Dolls (Love the song, but come on ladies. It cant be that hard to find a man)
Me & You - Cassie
Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland (Yeah, this is real talk right here. Whatever that means)
Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx (You dance to this song and shake your ass, you are an an idiot.)
Shake It - Kumi Koda (Love The Koda, but man. That is kind of a dirty video. And by kinda I mean is. Didn't stop me from watching it though because its THE DAMN KODA)
Passion of Chachi's Song of the Year
La Tortura - Shakira feat. Alejandro Sanz
Pop Star - Ken Hirai
What You Know? - T.I.
Bennie K - Dreamland
Common - Go
So peeps, there you have it! The lines are open (meaning my one email and comment area because I don't have the money like American Idol) and your suggestions are appriciated! I will put polls up soon (my website is SUCKING BALLS so once I figure it out I will create a page for it like I had for Douchebrawl) while I finalize the TV and movie categories. More updates as the come, peeps!
Now its time for a real quick installment of....
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!
So I went to see Pirates 2 on Friday and this review is gonna be short because I am going to list the only bad things about this movie right now:
1. No Ninjas. I can get past that though. If only they could be in the sequel...I would fill the fucking BIG GULP.
2. Not enough singing. Now there WAS singing, just not the kind of singing I have come to expect from pirates.
3. The ending. Not a bad ending, just kinda pulled an Empire Strikes Back on me. Still ruled.
That it. Those are the only bad points of the movie, and these are reaches. This movie kicked so much ass that I am still recooperating as we speak. This may be the greatest movie EVER MADE. Yes, I said it. Almost better than Batman Begins. ALMOST. Oh, and one more thing:
132 MILLION DOLLARS?!
Jesus Christ, man! I knew Johnny Depp was hot (a certain lady said I was crazy for loving Johnny Depp. Well it seems all of America loves him, woman! How do you like them apples?! Let's see Matthew Mac-bongo-ehey break BOX OFFICE RECORDS!) but this is AWESOME! Now I CAN say that Pirates was better than the original Spiderman (not the second one, that movie kicked ass even though it did less at the box office) and it is also the best movie of the year hands down. Better than Superman and better than X-Men. The only sad thing about this: unless Clerks II kicks MAJOR ASS (which it may just if Kevin Smith gets his goddamn act together) the movie going experience can only go downhill from here. That hurts a little bit, but thems the breaks. Still the best movie summer in a LOOOOONG time. Oh, my rating for Pirates 2? Well, I have only given this rating to one movie. And you KNOW that movie. I have to give pirates...
10 STARS! Yes, it was that good. Go see it. NOW, MAN THERE IS NO TIME TO DAWDLE!! I'll wait.
See, told you it was worth it. Well, that's all for today, gotta get ready to wake up at the asscrack of dawn tomorrow. Stay up, peeps.
I'm out.
Update: THE HEARTSDALES BROKE UP?! NOOOOOOOOOO! Lets remember the...good times...bwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! I need a moment....
Carry on, Heartsdales. Carry on.
