Saturday, March 04, 2006

Down to the nitty-gritty....

Well, its down to the final eight of Douchebrawl 2006! So far its all about the power players, but we have a Cinderella (or Skankeralla, depending on you want to look at it) with 11th seed Heather Graham. She pulled a rather big upset is her defeat of Tara 'Boobzilla' Reid and now she goes against the 'Princess of the (Trailer) Park' Britney Spears. Can she keep her streak alive? Only YOU have the power! Here is a wrap up of the Regional Semi-finals:

Pauly Shore Region

(1) Tom Cruise - 66.67%
(4) Ben Affleck - 33.33%

(3) Tom Hanks - 14.29%
(2) Mel Gibson - 85.71%

NKOTB Region

(2) Nelly - 16.67%
(3) Bono - 83.33%

(1) 50 Cent - 80%
(4) Diddy - 20%

Anna Nicole Region

(2) Tara Reid - 25%
(11) Heather Graham - 75%

(1) Britney Spears - 100%
(4) Madonna - 0%

Kato Kailen Region

(3) Quentin Tarrentino - 20%
(2) Ashton Kutcher - 80%

(1) Kevin Federline - 83.33%
(12) Jack Thompson - 16.67%

So that will give us these Regional Final Matchups:

(1) Tom Cruise vs. (2) Mel Gibson in the Pauly Shore Regional Final
Its Jesus vs. Xemu, folks. Which fictional deity will take their Douchebag mouthpiece to the Douchebrawl Finals?

Next, it is going to be (1) 50 Cent vs. (3) Bono in the NKOTB Regional Final

The two biggest douches in music battle it out for supremacy! Will Bono dismantle 50 Cent like an atomic bomb or will Fiddy leave Bono in da club while he stomps his G-Unit into the Finals? Only you can decide!

In the Anna Nicole Region we have the David vs Goliath. The Houston vs. NC State in 1984, the ultimate Cinderella story as (11) Heather Graham attempts to knock of the Queen of Skank, (1) Britney Spears!

Do you believe in miracles, peeps? Or will Britney take her place among the Douchebag elite?

Lastly, we have maybe the most hotly contested Regional Final in the Kato Kalien Region, as the statistical favorite (1) Kevin Federline takes on the original asshat, (2) Ashton Kutcher!

This would be the dream final in some peoples opinion (mine included), but man this is one HELL of a Regional Final! Don't forget to vote, peeps! Oh, and I updated the brackets, too.


Also, I will be putting about six new streaming MP3's on the website. I have more songs by Orange Range and the opening theme from the Lemon Angel Project. I will take a few requests if the song isnt too obscure. Check them out on www.lochachi.com, they will be up in about 30 minutes or so.

Lastly, I went to see Dave Chappelle's Block Party last night. I am not really big on concert movies, but this one kicked ass. I mean een if you pull Chappelle and his jokes out, it was just great music and a great atmosphere. I was in a theater full of black people (with a smattering of Mexicans and whites, but it was 85% black at least) and there was no violence or talking through the movie. Some people actually sang along with Common, Mos Def and even Jill Scott, who is a beautiful woman I don't care what standards of beauty are. To top it all off, the reuniting of The Fugees was sweet. The obviously hadnt performed in a while and it showed. Lauryn Hill was kind of slow to get in the groove of 'Killing Me Softly' but when she did get her groove back, it was SO worth it.

What was great is that this was pre-gone crazy Dave, too. Not the Dave that was expected to run off catch-phrase after catch-phrase by drunken white frat boys and dont-in-on-the-joke blacks that just wanted to hear "YEEEAH!' and 'I'm Rick James, BITCH' every five seconds. This was a Dave that has jokes and jokes and jokes and jokes and HAHAHAHAHA. The Dave we remember from the first season of Dave Chappelle Show and Killing Me Softly. THAT'S the funny Dave. That was the Dave I missed, and even though I was kind of pissed when he walked out on the show, I could understand not wanting your vision to become then next In Living Color where is was just character after character until all the humor was gone and stale.

I was afraid that Chappelle's Show would fall victim to what happens to most shows with black stars. Networks try to find a hook to keep the audience and run it into the ground, rather than allowing them to try new ideas and expand on established characters. When I heard that Comedy Central wanted MORE Clayton Bigsby in season two, I knew there was a problem. A break may have been what was needed for Dave to clear his head, the network and writers to create a fresh yet provocative direction, and most importantly the fans so we can get the catch-phrases out of our heads. The rate things were going, we were two episodes way from 'I'm Bobby Brown, bitch!' and that wouldn't have been funny. Maybe a little. Dave, get your head straight, enjoy the time off, come back and start making us laugh again. Bleach and Stephen Colbert can only entertain me for so long.

Oh, and Black people. THANK YOU. When the trailer for The Little Man came on, the latest Wayans Brothers debacle (who keeps on greenlighting this shit?) came on, I was expecting laughter. Instead, I heard disgust. And it was fucking sweet. One man actually said 'I will kill dem niggas if I see 'em!' With that line, I knew that they were learning. Crap is crap. Then the trailer for Waist Deep came on and they thought it was the next Boyz N Da Hood. Can't win them all, I guess.

Well, that's all for now. Don't forget to vote for Douchebrawl because we are coming down the home stretch! And see Dave Chappelle's Block Party, its not a bad flick and hearing The Roots jam out is worth the price of admission. Stay up peeps. Here is some Orange Range to end your day, fool!



Chachi out. Updates on the website by the end of the day.