First off, its time for...
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!!
This weeks movie is Talledega Night: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.
Now I went into this movie with high hopes. Mainly because it was Will Ferrell and Nascar in the same place at the same time. I figured that this movie would be the greatest look into the life of NASCAR fans since...Dukes of Hazzard I guess. That's as close as I have ever been to the crapfest. Yet there was something missing from it. I mean don't get me wrong, the movie was funny. Just not Anchorman funny. Which is hard to top, but still. I mean Will Ferrell was funny as Ricky Bobby and Sascha was HELLA funny as the Frenchman F-1 racer. Even the side characters were funny (the little kids kicked ass, especially when they got scared straight. I'm all hepped up on Mountain Dew!), in my opinion funnier than Ferrell. Not a bad movie by any means but not up to the hype or expectations. Overall, I recommend The Ballad of Ricky Bobby with...
7.5 out of 10! (Good, not great. Still well worth your money, though.)
So it is time for the Douche of the Week. You know who it is, so I won't waste any time...
Douche of the Week: Mel Gibson
Ah, Mel. After being kicked out of the top spot of the list by the likes of Tom Cruise, Kevin Federline and Nick Cannon you are back in the hunt of biggest douche of the year. It's bad enough to drink and drive (I will keep my fool mouth shut on that one) but to berate a police officer and go on an anti-Jew rant? Priceless! I loved how he talked about how The Passion wasnt a movie to stir up hatred toward the Jews from Christians (and whoever else believes in the myth of Jesus T. Christ) and yet it obviously WAS because there was no plot and no story. It was just a three hour ass beating of a skinny Jew. If I wanted to see a one sided ass kicking, I would watch USC play Arkansas State Beauty School of the Deaf and Blind Mines or something. It all goes full circle as we see Mel Gibson really DOES hate the Jews, or at least blames them for all moving traffic violations. I always blamed those swarthy Greeks but here we are.
Let's face it, Mel Gibson is batshit crazy. We saw it in the Lethal Weapon series and we saw it with Braveheart (which SUCKED, get over it. I would rather watch Fight Club, and fuck all of you I hated that movie and always will. Eat my taint). We saw his love of violence in The Passion (which for what it was worth, was a pretty good retelling of a FAKE STORY) and his distain of Jews at the same time. I am not going to question ones beliefs and values (I sure as fuck dont agree with them) but don't talk out of the side of your crazy mouth. Even if you didn't make a movie that bastardized the Jews, you made a SHITTY MOVIE that people think was great because they are weak and believe in a story that is no different than Lord of the Rings or Star Wars. At least Luke Skywalker didnt go out like no punk bitch like Jesus did. He got himself some payback. And Gandolf would OWN Jesus. Walking on water can't save your ass from a White Wizard. Long story short, due to being a two-faced, drunken, bat-shit crazy, Jew hating fucker with no respect for the law I make Mel Gibson my Douche of the Week!
BTW, in a close second was Lindsay Lohan. She is THIS close to becoming Paris Hiton V.2 and it's a shame because after Mean Girls she had some potential. That and Kevin G. needs to release an album.
That's the hardcore notes right there. Holla back, peeps!
So Nolan came back from his trip yesterday and put me on to something that may be the greatest thing created since peanut butter and naner sandwiches. Yes, I am talking about telenovelas. For those of you not in the know, those are Mexican (hispanic if you will) soap operas. Now before you get all pissy let me explain. These shows are a goldmine of beautiful latina women. You know that they are my #1 and combine that with hot latin beats and little latin clothes and you have the greatest TV EVER.
Back to the point, Nolan introduced me to a show called Rebelde, or stubborn or rebel in Spanish. I must say: WOW. Check out this hotness:
Hells YES! Take away the dudes and you have a kick ass show. And yes, the ladies wear that in the show. Just looking all good and wholesome. Makes me wanna take them out for brunch. Not only that, the show has spawned a group called RBD which is pretty much made up of the members in that video. It is good stuff. I have listened to some of the songs and I am going to have to get a copy of an album from Nolan but they seem to be hella good. And hella hot. Check this out peeps. For those of you reading this at work, it may melt your monitors. And get you 5 to 10 depending on how old you are.
Peeps, that is part of the SHOW. The show! That was the comeback from the fucking commercial break!! You dont SEE THAT ON AMERICAN TV AND THAT IS WHY IT SUCKS! Hot ladies (Not skanky ladies. It's a fine line but a definite line) dancing in short skirts is what makes America great, not reality TV shows! My god, that was hot. Sadly, the last episode aired on June 2nd. Even still, they have a comic book and albums to keep me happy. Oh, and saucy dancing latin women. Did I mention they dont sound too shabby live, either?
Oh, and Dulce Maria? Mmm...you're silky. Ooohhh....you're smooth. Ahhh....you're so FIIIII-YIII-YIIIIIINE!!
Too bad the show ended. I hope she still does music. I just found out about her. Why am I so late on these things?! Anyway, here is a Youtube video for her. Dulce, I hardly knew ye.
Wow, I dont know why but I have never liked Sheryl Crow. She has always been kind of shitty to me. Eh, at least it was Dulce in the video. Mmm...candy.
So I wanted to do a rant, but I pretty much wasted that effort on Mel Gibson. Fucker, ruining my ranting powers. He's like kryptonite. Anyway, it is getting late and I have some errands to run. I will try to be back on Monday, but we will see. Until then, stay up, peeps.
Live, love and Laugh.
