10. Sowelu
(2007 Rank: #18, 2008 Rank: #8)
I am very, very sad that I haven’t heard from Sowelu in a while. Like I have always said, she is the Japanese Mandy Moore which means that she is cuter than a kitten riding a puppy singing the “Nom Nom” song while petting a baby bunny. Yes, she is that damn cute.
9. Lucy Liu
9. Lucy Liu
(2007 Rank: NR, 2008 Rank: #6)
Hell, if you get a shout out in an Andre 3000 song, you MUST be saucy. Lucy Liu is that, although she seems to have fallen off the face of the damn planet over the last two years. Last thing I remember seeing her in was The Cleaner with Cedric The Entertainer. I mean, when she isn’t in my dreams wrestling the ladies of Rebelde in pudding. Yes, I have horrible dreams.
8. Crystal Kay
Hell, if you get a shout out in an Andre 3000 song, you MUST be saucy. Lucy Liu is that, although she seems to have fallen off the face of the damn planet over the last two years. Last thing I remember seeing her in was The Cleaner with Cedric The Entertainer. I mean, when she isn’t in my dreams wrestling the ladies of Rebelde in pudding. Yes, I have horrible dreams.
8. Crystal Kay
(2007 Rank: NR, 2008 Rank: NR)
Much like the Yuna Ito love I have, Crystal Kay has an amazing voice and I actually didn’t even see she was beautiful until like 2006-ish when I saw the video for “Kirakuni” in which she was HAAAAWT. Not a shabby dancer, either.
Much like the Yuna Ito love I have, Crystal Kay has an amazing voice and I actually didn’t even see she was beautiful until like 2006-ish when I saw the video for “Kirakuni” in which she was HAAAAWT. Not a shabby dancer, either.
7. Dulce Maria
(2007 Rank: NR, 2008 Rank: #5)
WHY IN THE HELL DID REBELDE HAVE TO BREAK UP?! I mean…WHY?! Now I never get to see Dulce Maria anymore, unless you count that crappy ass song with Akon as a time to look at her. No matter how saucy Dulce looks in a video, she can’t trump out the ugly Beastacon that is Akon.
6. Halle Berry
6. Halle Berry
(2007 Rank: #10, 2008 Rank: #18)
As you can tell, I have a bit of a love/hate thing with Halle Berry, mostly due to her doing Catwoman. Yes, I hold a grudge against that movie. I haven’t forgiven Jessica Alba for “Into The Blue” and I will never forgive Halle for fucking up a sure fire great female character in Catwoman. Although…her and Christian Bale in a movie as the Bat and the Cat…dare I dream?
5. Kate Winslet
As you can tell, I have a bit of a love/hate thing with Halle Berry, mostly due to her doing Catwoman. Yes, I hold a grudge against that movie. I haven’t forgiven Jessica Alba for “Into The Blue” and I will never forgive Halle for fucking up a sure fire great female character in Catwoman. Although…her and Christian Bale in a movie as the Bat and the Cat…dare I dream?
5. Kate Winslet
(2007 Rank: #1, 2008 Rank: #9)
Okay, now this was a point of contention between an ex and I because she thought Kate Winslet was fat and to that I pretty much told her to shut the fuck up because I didn’t bitch about her love of Vin Diesel (Who is a fucking mouth breather but was tolerable in The Pacifier). I even sat through Titanic…TWICE…to see her. Add in Hamlet and that shitball of a movie with Cameron Diaz & Jack Black (Ugh…I think I just threw up in my mouth at that combo) and I have gone through a lot for my Katie.
4. Mandy Moore
4. Mandy Moore
(2007 Rank: #6, 2008 Rank: #1)
How can anyone hate Mandy Moore? Hating Mandy Moore is like hating a kitten: no matter how horribly it may scractch up your couch, one nuzzle and look and you just melt. Now I don’t know if Mandy Moore commits property damage like that but just one look from her and all I think is “Aaaaaawwwww….yyyeeeeeaaaahhhh.” See what I did there?
3. Kristen Chenoweth
3. Kristen Chenoweth
(2007 Rank: NR, 2008 Rank: #4)
My love for the Chenoweth MOSTLY started with Wicked but it was her awesome sprite-like cuteness in Pushing Daisies that pushed me over the edge. She can sing, she can dance, she can act and she pulls off humor like no woman I know can. Except maybe Mary Tyler Moore but…she’s too old even for me. 55 is the age for retirement and the age even I must say no. I’m sorry!
2. Hyori Lee
2. Hyori Lee
(2007 Rank: NR, 2008 Rank #3)
Can I just say this right here and right now: Hyori Lee STILL needs to eat something. She also has something I would like to eat, if you know what I mean! By that, I mean reportedly she is a great cook…you sick FREAKS. Either way, Hyo Ri Lee caught my attention back in college with Fin KL (Man, I am getting up there) and has had it ever since. Oh, and “U-Go-Girl” is the song that goes from annoying to awesome in Avril Lavigne seconds:
It’s like “Girlfriend” without all the gay if you actually sing it. Only 80%...85% tops because my Korean is LIMITED. So we have a new sauciest lady for 2009! And it is…
1. Nelly Furtado
Can I just say this right here and right now: Hyori Lee STILL needs to eat something. She also has something I would like to eat, if you know what I mean! By that, I mean reportedly she is a great cook…you sick FREAKS. Either way, Hyo Ri Lee caught my attention back in college with Fin KL (Man, I am getting up there) and has had it ever since. Oh, and “U-Go-Girl” is the song that goes from annoying to awesome in Avril Lavigne seconds:
It’s like “Girlfriend” without all the gay if you actually sing it. Only 80%...85% tops because my Korean is LIMITED. So we have a new sauciest lady for 2009! And it is…
1. Nelly Furtado
(2007 Rank: 14, 2008 Rank: 16)
Now aside from my affinity for the backyard (I likes to beg for change, not peddle for dollars and I will NOT explain that analogy again) I never objectify women by trait because I hate having the same done to me…except in terms of things they DON’T find attractive about me. It’s a conundrum. But I just have to say once again, and I say it every year, that Nelly Furtado has the most striking eyes and smile I have ever seen on a woman ever:
MY GOD, like Debbie Gibson was to Johnny Depp, I get lost in her eyes. The last woman I knew that has eyes anywhere CLOSE to that also had my self-respect, pride and dignity. Don’t worry; I got them back because even when you smile, I can still see you are a bitch. BOO-YAH! Oh, and of course Nelly Furtado has got…DAT DUMPLIN BUTT!!
Scoopy Giles, I’m with you on bringing it back! With that, I bid you all adieu! See you next year for the 2010 edition of the Sauciest Ladies of the year and hopefully we will have seen more of Miss Furtado by then. Thanks for reading and the Countdown should be up tomorrow. Stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Now aside from my affinity for the backyard (I likes to beg for change, not peddle for dollars and I will NOT explain that analogy again) I never objectify women by trait because I hate having the same done to me…except in terms of things they DON’T find attractive about me. It’s a conundrum. But I just have to say once again, and I say it every year, that Nelly Furtado has the most striking eyes and smile I have ever seen on a woman ever:
MY GOD, like Debbie Gibson was to Johnny Depp, I get lost in her eyes. The last woman I knew that has eyes anywhere CLOSE to that also had my self-respect, pride and dignity. Don’t worry; I got them back because even when you smile, I can still see you are a bitch. BOO-YAH! Oh, and of course Nelly Furtado has got…DAT DUMPLIN BUTT!!
Scoopy Giles, I’m with you on bringing it back! With that, I bid you all adieu! See you next year for the 2010 edition of the Sauciest Ladies of the year and hopefully we will have seen more of Miss Furtado by then. Thanks for reading and the Countdown should be up tomorrow. Stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
