Hey, ya’ll! Heh, I should just steal Cleveland’s catchphrase. Way too lazy to make my own. So with boredom reigning and for no particular reason I am working on the day before Thanksgiving (WHAT IS THIS?! OLD COUNTRY?!) so I need to drive AGAIN because of poor planning but hey, it aint my fault. I just do the do.
So with that being said, I only have a few things to say before Thanksgiving. None are really important but I just wanted to vent and all.
1. People need to lighten the fuck up. I swear to fucking god, life is too short to be mad all the damn time. I may rant but at the end of the day I do it as a release and I know when to get my joke on. From now on, I am living by the “Nigga, Fuck You!” motto. The next time someone tells me to be serious or gets upset about shit I don’t care about I am just going to say “NIGGA, FUCK YOU!” and walk away. Try it; it TOTALLY shuts up the other person. Unless they are Black in which you may have a fight on your hands.
2. “M” stands for “Mature” not “Middle School.” With the holiday season coming up and a bevy of kickass games being released it is time for the “I Don’t Want To Call MYSELF A Bad Parent So I Will Blame Every Game Manufacturer Under The Fucking Sun” people to come from under their rocks and bitch. After seeing people buy games for their kids and not even LOOK AT THE FUCKING GAME (I told you about my “25 To Life” incident at GameStop) it has gotten to the point that with games pretty much everywhere that you cannot use the “I can’t watch my kids at all times” line. Hell, I saw video games at 7/11 when I went to get gas on yesterday. The commercials are all over the place and I am pretty sure I saw product placement for MetLife and Always maxi-pads in Gears of War 2. Kind of fits with all the blood in that bitch. Anyway, this holiday season, people better look at the damn rating systems because I will be damned if I have to see Jack Johnson next February because you didn’t know that a game called FALLOUT 3 wasn’t about bunkbeds…jackass.
3. Michael Turner for MVP! The fact that the Atlanta Falcons have more than one win is an act of Gawd. The fact they are second in the NFC South and in the hunt for the GOD DAMN PLAYOFFS after Week 11 is an act of The Wolven. Even if they don't win another game, The Burner has given this team something to build off of. Oh, and if Mike Smith doesnt win coach of the year then there is something wrong with EVERYFUCKINGTHING.
4. Enjoy the time with your family. Times are hard, the baby is crying and we are all living for the city. Make the most of the time with the people who matter because you never know when you will ever be able to tell them how thankful you are to have them again.
Lastly, I want to say I am disappointed in you Colorado Springs. We did not over take Denver as the number one drunkest city in America. As a matter of fact, according to Men's Health we have FALLEN TO NUMBER 3! Behind Anchorage, Alaska?! MOTHERFUCKERS! That is it, in 2009 we are taking what's ours! Join me starting New Year's Day in my effort to make Colorado Springs the drunkest city in America! It is time for...
LUSHFEST 2009!
Are you ready? I am and I have the soju and the microphone to prove it. TO THE KOREAN KARAOKE BAR, MOFOS! We are taking the hat of inibriation to the Springs!
CHACHI OUT!
