Saturday, May 06, 2006

This post will self-destruct.

Yo yo, peeps! I FINALLY have a morning where I don't have to be up by 4am and I wake up at 4am anyway. Not gonna lie, I feel like crap right now. Throat hurts and my head is killing me. not sure how in the hell I caught a cold but what can you do. I should be better by tomorrow, just gonna chill out for a bit.

So, MI:3 is out and...I really don't want to see it. I have honestly never seen any of the Mission Impossible series, and I am the ONLY person in America that hasnt. After sitting through The Last Samurai (which would have kicked ass if Tom Cruise was replaced with Keanu Reeves or a broomstick) I honestly can't remember the last Tom Cruise vehicle I sat through. I know it is just me, but I am not a fan of the guy as an actor. Aside from Interview With A Vampire and The Last Samurai, I don't remember the last movie that he was in that I liked. What is scary is that the reviews have actually been pretty good so people may actually see this thing. *Sigh* can't win them all.

So I just saw another trailer for X-Men: The Last Stand. And I must say, Halle Berry made the right movie leaving this franchise. If the dialog is staying the way it is and the action scenes look like this in the finalized product (which is three weeks away give or take, so it seems like it will stay this way) this movie will SUCK. Elektra suck. Daredevil suck. HULK SUCK. Look at this clip:

Now fanboys may fill the cup for the fastball special, but I for one am NOT. That was fucking lame. Brett Ratner has officially fucked up a sure thing. This movie has lost the Bryan Singer touch, and that's what made the first two movies great. It kept true to the feel and look of the original characters but made them easily accessible for non-comic book fans. With an established franchise, all Ratner had to do was just follow up the second movie with an all-out brawl between the Brotherhood and the X-Men with lines being drawn between Magneto and Xavier. Instead, he actually put in INPUT. I am afriad I am going to hear Wolverine tell Colussus 'No one understands the words that are coming out of your mouth!' Please let me be wrong and this movie ends up ruling all, but it doesn't look like it so far.

On the other hand, I did squeal like Asian women for David Bowie (yeah, that's not cool) when I saw the new Superman Returns trailer.

My fucking GOD! Kevin Spacey has made up for K-Pax. Aside from Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane (She is not bad, but Rachel Bilson as Lois Lane? THAT'S a two cup filler right there) I think this movie will be better than the original Superman. Not as good as Superman II, but it will be up there. Man, DC has released 2 comic movies in 2 years and both have (and will) kick ass. Marvel has been hit or miss over the last few years with good (Spiderman 2), bad (Punisher) and 'bleh' (Fantastic Four) offerings. Meanwhile, Batman Begins was the best movie last year and maybe of this decade so far. Yeah, I fucking said it, brought the can, opened it and set it on the table bitches. Argue with that choice and you will be wrong. DC is now my new anti-drug.

Oh wow I forgot to say something about An American Haunting. Ahem....don't see it. You know, two years ago, every movie was a comic book movie. Last year every movie was computer animated/generated. This year every movie is a horror movie. Why in they HELL do they keep making this crap? Who sees them? If any of you saw and enjoyed:

The Ring
The Ring 2
Saw
Saw 2
Stay Alive
House of Wax
Hostel

Fuck it. If you saw any movie with a screaming female lead and a eerie, spooky force that kills people for no reason, you are a dipshit that needs to be eliminated to keep you from reproducing. People like YOU keep Grandma's Boy from getting theater time. Sodas in schools and godlessness aren't destroying America. Shitty horror movies and their chromosome-damaged fans are.

Well, I gotta run and get my oil changed and hopefully get a haircut. Enjoy your Saturday, peeps.

Chachi out.