Well it has been a week since I last blogged and man life has been rather special in that timeframe. I really needed someone to talk to, so I took some time out and I talked to my psychiatrist Dr. Deuce and he gave me some really sound advice. Man, the dude is a genius. A drunken, hateful genius that I pay $75 an hour to but man he does good work!
I’m alive again
More alive than I have been in my whole entire life
I can see these people’s ears perk up as I begin
To spaz with the pen, I’m a little bit sicker than most
Shit’s finna get thick again
They say the competition is stiff
But I get a hard dick from this shit, now stick it in
I ain’t never giving in again
caution to the wind, complete freedom
Look at these rappers, how I treat them
So why the fuck would I join them when I beat them
They call me a freak because
I like to spit on these p-ssies fore I eat them
Eminem – No Love
First things first: I poppa freaks all the honeys. HELLS YEAH GRIZZLE!
Sorry, it’s a thing I do. So I have been thinking about that line for about two days now and I am realizing something: living your life can be hard as shit. Man, when you do it is a great feeling. Now don’t get me wrong, I still have my issues and I take myself to task about them whenever I can (Which other people don’t do but hey, who am I to judge those that aint trying to advance. Shits over now, take it like a man). Dr. Deuce on the other hand runs under the Ken Titus Theory of “STOP BEING A WUSSY!” which actually works a hell of a lot better. If something is dragging you down either you go down with the ship or you hop off and save your sanity. Or…you can blow that bitch up, set fire to the other survivors and then go and blow up the company that made the fucking ship. Guess which one I’m going to do. Ah, peeps you know me all too well. It is about that time….take it away, Dr. Deuce!
Dr. Deuce’s Help Corner: Get Off Your Cross, Build A Bridge and Get Over It.
Then I Will Proceed To OBLITERATE That Bridge Because I Don’t Need The Baggage! Yep, you know this is going to be good. Welcome to the session, peeps. Now, let me begin this session by saying I couldn’t give a FUCK about your feelings. This is for your own fool good and if you don’t like it, eat a bag of dicks with a side of piss is a cold glass.
No One Owes You A God Damn Thing.
Understand something about life, no one is owed anything. You can spend all day saying “Man, that motherfucker owes me $10!” but that doesn’t mean you will get that shit. From explanations to apologies the only thing you are owed in life is the gift of living it. If you spend your time obsessing about yourself and why people are doing things to you then you are acting like a fucking victim when in reality you are a bitch nigga. There are two people in this world that are non-gratis and need to be shot on sight:
1. Bitch Niggas
2. Bitch ASS Niggas
If you are going out of your way to get sympathy for shit that is quite simply not that serious then you are a bitch ass nigga and most importanty:
Couldn’t have said it better myself, Riley. Nigga, you gay.
If You Have An Open Relationship, YOU HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP.
Okay, this has been a source of debate between patients and myself and I just you to remember that I’m the doctor. So take two shut-the-fuck-ups and SHUT THE FUCK UP. The thought of an open relationship seems like the best of both worlds but honestly, let’s look at a simple analogy.
A football player signs a contract with a team. Then after signing after a few months he says “Hey, I have been thinking and I want to run some trick plays for another team. In the same division. Your biggest rival.” What would you say? Hells-the-fuck-naw, right? Exactly.
The concept of an open-relationship is based off of the fact that there is something there that you are not getting from the party you are with that you are seeking from someone else. Now a LOGICAL human being would say “Hey, this person isn’t fulfilling all I am looking for in a significant other so either we will talk about what is/isn’t working and try to come to a consensus or we will part.” Sounds like some adult shit, right? Now a dysfunction set of bitch ass niggas will say “I don’t want to be with this person but I am to scared/crazy/lazy to leave so I will say we should have an open-relationship so I can fuck who I want and fill my tank at the Citgo for free!” Oops, you fucked up. You are doomed to dysfunction.
I cannot tell anyone what to do or how to do it. Just be forewarned, just because you live your life one way doesn’t mean others have to be around while you do your dip-shittery. Remember, you can only help those that want to be helped. If they are fine in their little make-believe world of snap-dragons and lollipops then let them stay there. Doesn’t mean you have to go along for the ride and if you do GET THE FUCK OUT FAST! That is a ship you don’t want to be on when it goes down. In the famous words of 1944 Dr. Tran…”Don’t I know it”
Sometimes It’s Better To Be The Bad Guy Than The Nice Guy
That one is for you, C-Money. One thing I have noticed is that we live in a society where no one wants to take a look in the mirror and say “what is it about me that is causing this to happen” because people are SO CONVINCED that it’s not their fault. Now I am not a blame person by any means, I am a responsibility person first and foremost. So if you are having the same thing happen to you then maybe it is time to come to grips and take a long look at yourself. I for one believe that if you aren’t doing something once a day to attempt to better yourself then you are wasting your time living and you should kill yourself and give that life to John Ritter or Pimp C (SWEET JONES!) you know…someone that fucking deserves it.
I am letting you true believers know first and foremost you need to do what is best for you. Fuck the world if they can’t adjust. Whether it be emotionally, physically or logically you have to focus on your star player, which is you. Katt Williams said it best, there is always going to be SOMEBODY mad at you:
But in the end you HAVE to focus on what makes YOU better and is best for YOUR sanity. If people don’t like it and they hate….
FUCK THEM IN THEIR HATIN ASS FACES!
Nothing worse than a fucking hater. If you are trying to do better and all they can think of is themselves and how it is effect THEM and THEIR friendship….
FUCK THEM IN THEIR HATIN ASS FACES!
Man, I could see that be an anthem in the club if I get Lil Jon on the hook. Dr. Deuce and Lil’ Jon coming soon! You know what else? There is something that needs to be said about dysfunctional people: they mistake hate with apathy. You see, when you are looking to get better, a hater loves nothing more than to try to bring you down with them because they hate to see people be happy because they aren’t. Don’t deny it! It’s been proven by science! So when you do what you do and others want you to do what they do, they hate when you don’t because you aren’t with them and they don’t want to go where you are. Which is fine, let them do their thing. You have to be prepared when you do and move on because they are going to take it personally because with haters, it’s all about them. It aint NEVER about you, it’s about them and how everything effects them and you are the bad one because you are looking out for your superstar and not them. Being the bad guy hurts but you can’t let that bring you down. You are looking out for your superstar and not the role players. Your real team is down and that is all that matters so…
FUCK THEM IN THEIR HATIN ASS FACES!
Lil Jon, you need to do a new damn album.
Live Like Diddy: DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO!
As many of you know, Diddy is one of my most famous clients. He used to be downtrodden after the loss of his friend (He wrote a song about it. Well, The Police wrote a song about it but he takes hits from the 80’s and makes it sound so crazy) and all the haters on him about his shiny suits and lavish lifestyle, he hit a major funk. I mean, he signed LOON for Christ sake. That dude SUCKS. Then Diddy and I met and discussed his life and problems over pandas milk while racing on lions in Constantinople. Diddy calls it Constantinople, it’s fucking called Constantinople. You know what I told him to do?
Live Like Diddy
At first he was confused but I heard from a friend a long time ago that you have to live YOUR live. Living is hard because you want to do for everyone else but if you aren’t living for you….who and what are you living for? Finally after a game of tiddlywinks with several naked women while eating dodo bird egg omelets he realized what I meant. Now look at him:
He don’t give a fuck about you or what you think about him. SHINY SUIT MAN IS FUCKING BACK! I mean now he is courting Rick Ross but you can’t win them all. Ery’day he hustling! So I know all of you cannot ball out of control like Diddy but at LEAST you can live your life to the fullest. In other words DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT TO! You don’t owe anyone any explanations or apologies. Well, make sure the shit is legal because you don’t have a team of lawyers like Diddy…just ask Shyne. BAM! But do what you want and if people want to be all butt-hurt about that shit then they can pound sand. Live like Diddy, peeps. It’s all he asks of you.
Well, that is enough for the Dr. Deuce session for today. Much like ninjas, Black Dynamite and Popeye I show up when I am needed. Take care and remember….Live Like Diddy.
Wow…you gotta love Dr. Deuce. He may be back to kick more of the truth to the young Black youth so stay tuned. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
