Okay, alright. I’m sure if you are a gamer or not, you have seen Master Chief grace your TV screen, cell phone and dreams as Microsoft attempts to mentally rape us into wanting Halo 3:
First off, let me state this before all you bros and Halo nerds lose your shit. I own all three Halo games. I played through Halo and played Halo 2 abouyt 4 hours in before I got fucking bored with it. The first game was good but the second, no matter how pretty and explosion filled (Shit, sounds like a good porn. ZING!) the game was above average, not the greatest game of all time like everyone hailed it. Three words: God of War. Or Resident Evil 4. Fuck you, that game plays CIRCLES around Halo 2. Anyway, I just played Halo 3 at David’s house (And his limited edition version wasn’t scratched. Lucky him) and all I can say in the about three hours I had hands on with the game….
ITS OKAY.
I hated the barrage of clips and commercials for Halo 3 because I knew it was going to be more of the fucking same. Bungie is like EA Games with Madden. Repackage, add some moreplayers and modes and presto brand new game. At least Madden still has Michael Vick, who is scary than Master Chief…to dogs at least. What, too soon? Anyway, with all the hype and press about this game (Including G4 covering the launch like there were only seven available but there are more Halo 3 games than assault weapons in Cambodia) I know everyone is going to look at it and go “THAT DEM DARE CHUPACABRA DONE WENT AND GONE BOOM!” so my words are on deaf ears. But I for one am sick of hype for three games a year (Usually Halo, a Final Fantasy game and Madden) and all three are disappointing, save for the occasional Final Fantasy. Now I am not saying Halo 3 is BAD, I am saying I am sick of the hype. From the Mountain Dew to the refinancing of home loans, Halo 3 was EVERYWHERE and for no real good reason. It is on another planet, you are trying to tell me people drink Halo on fucking Venus? Bullshit. Tie ins are good if they are relevant, but in this case it actually made me not want to get my pre-order.
Overall, Halo 3 is a 7 out of 10. I know it will get perfect score everywhere because Microsoft owns everyones soul but it would be unwarranted. God of War II, Metroid (Wii) and BioShock are better games and a lot less hyped/annoying. Expect to see Halo 3 everywhere until Christmas, expect to see about 4 Oscar nods and at least 300 kids named Master Chief. God…I’m gonna go play Resident Evil 4. Zombies are coming up the hill right now!
Chachi Out.
