Alrighty, peeps. Here are the newest rankings, hot off the presses!
The 2nd Annual Tom Cruise Douchebrawl 2007 Updated Doucheology Rankings!!
The 50 Cent Musicians Region
1. Bono (Last Week #1)
2. Diddy (Last Week #2)
3. Eminem (Last Week #4)
4. R. Kelly (Last Week: Unranked)
5. Clay Aiken (Last Week #3)
6. Toby Keith (Last Week #5)
7. Nelly (Last Week #6)
8. Fergie (Last Week #13)
9. Fall Out Boy (Last Week #7)
10. The Fray (Last Week #8)
11. Dave Matthews Band (Last Year #9)
12. James Blount (Last Week #10)
13. Snoop Dogg (Last Week #12)
14. Akon (Last Week # 11)
15. Nickelback (Last Week: Unranked)
16. Gwen Stefani (Last Week #14)
Out: Usher, Cowboy Troy
A HUGE jump in the rankings this week. I cannot believe I forgot the King of R&Pee! Man, I almost screwed that up BIG TIME. Oh, and he did a song with Bow Wow. Way to go after the adult market, asshole. Yes, I know that is hypocritical with my Hinoi Team love but I don’t want to PEE ON THEM. Also, Fergie’s mannish ass moves into the upper echelon of the brackets. My god…the is more manly than Clay Aiken. Not hard to do, but still. Eminem also moves up after getting (reportedly) re-engaged (remarried) to Kim. I’m not against that (You know how I feel about the problem women. I loves them) I am more upset he still makes music with Fiddy. Oh, and Fiddy is threatening me with a new album in March. Man, someone should really shoot him…again. Nickelback makes its debut this week! Yeah, I don’t have anything against them but Zach demanded it for the most part. A vote is a vote. As it sits, its them vs. Diddy in the first round. The NCAA’s has had a #15 seed over a #2 seed in 13 of the last 14 years (If I’m not mistaken. Can someone check into that? Rick, I’m looking at you) so you never know!
The George Lucas Actor/Actress Region
1. Mel Gibson (Last Week #1)
2. Ashton Kutcher (Last Week #2)
3. Nick Cage (Last Week #4)
4. George Clooney (Last Week #3)
5. Ben Affleck (Last Week #5)
6. Jack Black (Last Week #6)
7. Leonardo DiCaprio (Last Week # 7)
8. Colin Farrel (Last Week # 8)
9. Heath Ledger (Last Week #9)
10. Hayden Christensen (Last Week #10)
11. Russell Crowe (Last Week #11)
12. Paul Walker (Last Week #12)
13. Julia Roberts (Last Week #13)
14. Benicio Del Toro (Last Week #14)
15. Brad Pitt (Last Week #15)
16. Vin Diesel (Last Week #16)
(Outs: None)
Only change is Nick Cage moving ahead of George Clooney into the Number 3 spot. I am seeing Ghost Rider this weekend at some point, so that will determine whether he moves up to #2. Mel is set at Number One, though. Still another week to go but this region looks pretty set.
The Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region
1. Paris Hilton (Last Week #1)
2. Britney Spears (Last Week #3)
3. Tara Reid (Last Week #2)
4. Angelina Jolie (Last Week #4)
5. Nicole Ritchie (Last Week #5)
6. Lindsay Lohan (Last Week #6)
7. Jessica Simpson (Last Week #8)
8. Tyra Banks (Last Week #9)
9. Pamela Anderson (Last Week #10)
10. Katie Holmes (Last Week #14)
11. Cameron Diaz (Last Week #7)
12. Janet Jackson (Last Week #11)
13. Kumi Koda (Last Week #12)
14. Drew Barrymore (Last Week #15)
15. Jennifer Lopez (Last Week #13)
16. Paula Abdul (Last Week #16)
(Outs: None)
Okay, there is FINALLY some stability in this bracket. Aside from Tara Reid falling (just like in real life) a bit and Jessica Simpson moving up with the ‘Stripperella’ look everything if falling into place. J-Lo fell a bit (her new video is stupid, btw) and Katie Holmes is moving up after the attempt at ‘dancing’ much like the Al Gore/Tipper fiascos in election. Remember the ‘kissing’ a few years back? Eeeewww. Aside from that, unless the peeps have input I like how this looks.
The Andy Dick Fucktard Region
1. Kevin Federline (Last Week #1)
2. Peyton Manning (Last Week #15)
3. Nick Cannon (Last Week #2)
4. Quentin Tarrentino (Last Week #4)
5. Wilmer Valderrama (Last Week #5)
6. Flavor Flav (Last Week #6)
7. Terrell Owens (Last Week #3)
8. Ryan Seacrest (Last Week #7)
9. Bill O’Rielly (Last Week #10)
10. John Cena (Last Week #12)
11. Verizon Guy (Last Week #8)
12. David Spade (Last Week #9)
13. Alec Baldwin (Last Week #11)
14. Ray J (Last Week #15)
15. Rex Grossman (Last Week: Unranked)
16. Carson Daly (Last Week #13)
Oh wow, this has to be a Douchebrawl first. Peyton Manning jumps ALL THE WAY TO NUMBER TWO after the Super Bowl win. I have nothing against the Colts, but if there ever was a player that embodied a mascot, it is Peyton ‘El Kabong’ Manning. Also Rex Grossman takes the place of Jimmy Kimmel because…Rex Grossman is high on smack or something because he pulled a Chris Chandler on Sunday. Aside from that, like I said things look okay to me unless the peeps have input.
That is all for today. I will be back up on Friday for the Chachi Top 20 Countdown. There are three debuts, so there is a little spoiler action for you! I will try to have mock brackets up this weekend so make you choices on who you want in or out before the 16th! However, before I go...
Long ago, a war was waged between two of the most feared factions waged in a war that created was so awesome that is created what scientist call ‘The Big Bang’ and what Christians call…not…The Big Bang. The aftermath of the battle was so devastating that the two sides decided for the safety (and the lameness) of humanity that their battles would take place in secret. However, after the violent death of a leader of one side at the Battle of the Arena Bands in 1985 (Won by the ultimate of arena bands, Foreigner) the battles now take place in the plain sight of mortals. Very few have been able to view these battles first hand but those that do have reportedly had their eyes melted out by its uber-greateness. Today peeps, I give you a view of one of these wars. I give to you an account of the age old battle between…
PIRATES AND NINJAS!!!
Now you ask ‘How do pirates and ninjas fight? One is the most dominant force on land while the other is the most dominant force on sea! First off…who in the hell do you think you are questioning me?! Second off, because of that they decided to fight the way of the Gods. They way battles were intended to be fought. Not with knives, guns, missiles or mix tapes. But in the most natural of forms.
DANCE.
Yeah, I will be at Otakon this year. Hook or by crook. It's like a fucking nerd Mecca over there; I would finally belong! I will go and I shall be their king...
Chachi Out.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
FEEL THE POWER OF CHACHI-MANIA!!
Morning peeps! Yes, it is mid-week and mid-day but hey I gotta make sure I keep in contact with those that made me who I am. Not saying that's a good thing because I'm FUCKED UP but thems the breaks. It seems the world has slowed down since the Super Bowl ended (or Peyton Bowl 2007) and it is a weird lull until baseball season starts. Which is like to-fucking-morrow or something. There is one thing that is going on this time of year that I am always interested in no matter how crappy it ends up being. WRESLEMANIA!!! Yes, I am kind of a pro wrestling fan. Although it's suckitude is rather high in the last few years with no Rock, Austin or Foley it has its moments. And with the force feeding of Batista (who will odds are end The Undertakers 14-0 record at Wrestlemania this year which SUCKS because he is a shitty performer) and John Cena (who should not be champ. They should have kept it on Edge and had the change at WMXXIII but that is why I’m not booking. At least he gets to beat Shawn Michaels. The more that prick gets beat the better) it doesn’t look like it is gonna get any better.
It is sad because there are a lot of guys I would watch as contenders or champion (Mr. Kennedy has grown as me, and don’t even get me started on the awesomeness that is Edge) and yet they stick with the most TALENTLESS ASSHATS as belt holders. Yes, I know Cena has improved but he still sucks. Batista can’t have a good match unless HHH or Mr. Kennedy carry him and despite his impressive physique, Lashley STILL looks bigger than him. As someone who was a huge wrestling fan in the mid/late 80’s up until like 1998 it pisses me off to see the way this looks now. Remember back when we had Hogan, Randy Savage and The Ultimate Warrior (worth watching just to hear his interviews)
WHOA....O_0
Don’t even get me started on Bret Hart. He was the ONLY reason I watched wrestling until 1998 anyway. Combine that the guilty pleasure that was Japanese wrestling (which RULES ALL. I like that more that UFC and MMA solely because those men put it down) and wrestling was actually entertaining.
So to look back to the days of my youth, today’s post will be one of my favorite wrestling match of ALL TIME! Yeah, I have enough experience to do this. I beat WWF Superstars in the arcade with Hacksaw Jim Duggan and The Big Bossman. NO ONE CAN CLAIM THAT!! I also beat The Undertaker on hard in Wrestlemania 2000 for the N64, and that shit is hardcore. Like fighting a bear with a plastic mallet covered in honey.
I have the distinction of only buy one pay-per-view and it being canned as one of the worst EVER. Wrestlemania 13 SUCKED but had the Bret Hart (w00t!!!1!) vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin ‘I Quit Match’ which made up for the rest of the show and justified my purchase to see that bad boy live.
Wrestlemania 13: 3/23/1997
Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin
I Quit Match
God, the ending of that match STILL KICKS ASS! No one tells a story in the ring like Bret Hart and before Austin became Robocop with the two knee braces and neck surgeries he could kick ass like no ones business. This match MADE Austin and kind of ended Bret as he was losing his spot in the company TO Austin and was cool with that but Shawn ‘The Fucktard Kid’ Michaels wanted to be the guy that made him and we all saw how that worked out in Montreal. Just Google ‘Montreal Screwjob’ if you are interested. You odds are will have to wade through some porn but it is an interesting story. It is why I can’t stand Vince McMahon to this day.
These two kicked the SHIT out of each other and despite the violent nature of the match were actually pretty good friends outside of the ring. Bret gets a bad rap for the last few years of his career and had some bad breaks (the concussion, the stroke) but he carried the WWF from about 1992 until 1995-ish when Vince wanted Shawn to be the next big thing, even though there was a pretty quiet majority that still felt he was the guy. But the Gutten-something Effect says teenage girls screaming will multiply and that was that. Austin meanwhile (along with THE ROCK, not Triple H) carried the WWF to the high times in 1999-2001. We know what The Rock is doing now after his success but I always felt Austin (when healthy) put on a better match. Nowhere near as entertaining as The Great One (no one is or ever will be) but the matches were better. Compare his matches with Mick Foley to The Rock’s and you will see a huge difference. And Austin was a cripple.
Back to the match. This was the second in a series of three (Bret won the first one at the Survivor Series in 1996) matches that was to end at Wrestlemania 13 with Austin returning the favor and winning the belt from him. Yeah, that didn’t work out. A third match would have ruled all IMHO but we will never know. This is one of the few matches I can watch without fast forwarding through the dead parts. It’s like an album you don’t want to skip a track on. That good. I know none of the people that read this on MySpace are wrestling fans (rightfully so, it kind of sucks now except for Samoa Joe and that is more by default. Oh, and Cryme Time rules. Racism can be funny!) but hey, my blog my rules. Besides, learning is fun. Except for the Turks because of their tiny, tiny brains. Oh yeah, I went there.
Time to go back to watching Venture Brothers. He is a bit of the Swedish killing machine…
Funniest moment of 2006. Bar none. Well, I will be back tomorrow with Doucheology and will try to have current brackets up this weekend. Also, I am changing the bracket set date to 2/16/2007 to give a full six days of office pools and water cooler talk about who will win this year! Also I get paid that day so you know what that means. SLUMBER PARTAYYYYY!
Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
It is sad because there are a lot of guys I would watch as contenders or champion (Mr. Kennedy has grown as me, and don’t even get me started on the awesomeness that is Edge) and yet they stick with the most TALENTLESS ASSHATS as belt holders. Yes, I know Cena has improved but he still sucks. Batista can’t have a good match unless HHH or Mr. Kennedy carry him and despite his impressive physique, Lashley STILL looks bigger than him. As someone who was a huge wrestling fan in the mid/late 80’s up until like 1998 it pisses me off to see the way this looks now. Remember back when we had Hogan, Randy Savage and The Ultimate Warrior (worth watching just to hear his interviews)
WHOA....O_0
Don’t even get me started on Bret Hart. He was the ONLY reason I watched wrestling until 1998 anyway. Combine that the guilty pleasure that was Japanese wrestling (which RULES ALL. I like that more that UFC and MMA solely because those men put it down) and wrestling was actually entertaining.
So to look back to the days of my youth, today’s post will be one of my favorite wrestling match of ALL TIME! Yeah, I have enough experience to do this. I beat WWF Superstars in the arcade with Hacksaw Jim Duggan and The Big Bossman. NO ONE CAN CLAIM THAT!! I also beat The Undertaker on hard in Wrestlemania 2000 for the N64, and that shit is hardcore. Like fighting a bear with a plastic mallet covered in honey.
I have the distinction of only buy one pay-per-view and it being canned as one of the worst EVER. Wrestlemania 13 SUCKED but had the Bret Hart (w00t!!!1!) vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin ‘I Quit Match’ which made up for the rest of the show and justified my purchase to see that bad boy live.
Wrestlemania 13: 3/23/1997
Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin
I Quit Match
God, the ending of that match STILL KICKS ASS! No one tells a story in the ring like Bret Hart and before Austin became Robocop with the two knee braces and neck surgeries he could kick ass like no ones business. This match MADE Austin and kind of ended Bret as he was losing his spot in the company TO Austin and was cool with that but Shawn ‘The Fucktard Kid’ Michaels wanted to be the guy that made him and we all saw how that worked out in Montreal. Just Google ‘Montreal Screwjob’ if you are interested. You odds are will have to wade through some porn but it is an interesting story. It is why I can’t stand Vince McMahon to this day.
These two kicked the SHIT out of each other and despite the violent nature of the match were actually pretty good friends outside of the ring. Bret gets a bad rap for the last few years of his career and had some bad breaks (the concussion, the stroke) but he carried the WWF from about 1992 until 1995-ish when Vince wanted Shawn to be the next big thing, even though there was a pretty quiet majority that still felt he was the guy. But the Gutten-something Effect says teenage girls screaming will multiply and that was that. Austin meanwhile (along with THE ROCK, not Triple H) carried the WWF to the high times in 1999-2001. We know what The Rock is doing now after his success but I always felt Austin (when healthy) put on a better match. Nowhere near as entertaining as The Great One (no one is or ever will be) but the matches were better. Compare his matches with Mick Foley to The Rock’s and you will see a huge difference. And Austin was a cripple.
Back to the match. This was the second in a series of three (Bret won the first one at the Survivor Series in 1996) matches that was to end at Wrestlemania 13 with Austin returning the favor and winning the belt from him. Yeah, that didn’t work out. A third match would have ruled all IMHO but we will never know. This is one of the few matches I can watch without fast forwarding through the dead parts. It’s like an album you don’t want to skip a track on. That good. I know none of the people that read this on MySpace are wrestling fans (rightfully so, it kind of sucks now except for Samoa Joe and that is more by default. Oh, and Cryme Time rules. Racism can be funny!) but hey, my blog my rules. Besides, learning is fun. Except for the Turks because of their tiny, tiny brains. Oh yeah, I went there.
Time to go back to watching Venture Brothers. He is a bit of the Swedish killing machine…
Funniest moment of 2006. Bar none. Well, I will be back tomorrow with Doucheology and will try to have current brackets up this weekend. Also, I am changing the bracket set date to 2/16/2007 to give a full six days of office pools and water cooler talk about who will win this year! Also I get paid that day so you know what that means. SLUMBER PARTAYYYYY!
Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
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