Eh, I should be sad but I am not. You know why? SPIDERMAN 3 ON FRIDAY, FISHES!! I already got my ticket and it is sooo going to rule my world! I am more excited to see Spiderman 3 thank Pirates 3 (mainly because of that ending) and Shrek 3. Transformers has my attention but it could really be hit or miss. I mean it should be awesome, but I’m a little afraid of it being totally ass. I was excited about ‘Masters of the Universe’ (the He-Man movie) and…that didn’t turn out so well.
Back to Spiderman 3. Is there anything on the planet more awesome that this movie? I mean really, think about it. What could be more awesome than Spidey vs. Venom? Making the Sandman an actual cool villain? Harry Osborne no longer being kind of a pussy, Dean Venture style? Peter going all gritty and grimey? Could anything rawk my face more than that aside from…Big Trouble in Little China 2? God…the thought of in makes my ears bleed with excitement! However, let us actually dive into this with a new feature of Passion of Chachi…Is There Anything?
It There Anything: More Ass-kicking than Spiderman 3?
That is a tough question, but there may be a few things that rock more than Spiderman 3…
Ninja-Vampires
Now this is a pipedream. Or a pipe nightmare depending on which school of though you are from. Just so you know, if you are not totally enamored with ninja pirates you are from the school of thought that YOU SUCK. A ninja vampire would be a entity so powerful that nothing…and I mean NOTHING could stop it. Except maybe pirate vampires. But that’s just not gonna happen. You know how much alcohol is in the bloodstream of a pirate? The BAC isn’t even a percentage, it is just rum. The awesomeness of a ninja vampire I would say would be more awesome than Spiderman 3. Now Spidey has beaten vampires (Morbius, Blade) and ninjas (The Hand, Elektra) but to combine the two would even be able to take down Spiderman. Aside from Batman (who actually WAS a ninja vampire if you want to be picky!) and The Tick, no one can come close to beating them. So yes, ninja vampires trump Spiderman 3.
Batman Begins 2
Speaking of the Bat…he does own Spidey. As probably the biggest Batman fan this side of Coast City (anyone that gets that reference gets a free Fresca) no one is looking forward to the sequel of Batman Begins more than I. Batman Begins is up there as not only the best comic book movie EVER (slightly ahead of the first Spiderman, Superman II, 300 and Road to Perdition) it stacks up to some of the other “all time great” movies. Titanic, I’m looking at you. Although Spiderman 3 will be awesome and Batman Begins 2 has Heath Ledger in it as the new Joker, it also has Aaron Eckhart as the new Harvey Dent. Anyone who saw ‘Thank You For Smoking” knows he can pull off the eventual coming of Two-Face. Not only that, Batman is more compelling than Spiderman (although I will argue the fact that Peter Parker makes a better CHARACTER than Bruce Wayne) as a hero and a character. As excited as I am for Spiderman 3 (I have had to change my underpants TWICE just talking about it) I am even MORE excited about Batman Begins Again. Heh, they can use that title.
Eggnog
If there was ever a racket, it is eggnog. It flows in like liquid glory (thanks, Joe!) every holiday season and then leaves just as quickly. It’s nutmegy, milky yet rummy goodness makes the holidays wonderful and tasty. As much as I am looking forward to Spiderman 3, I have the same excitement every October 30th because I know once Halloween ends that it is EGGNOG TIME! I heard if you are a good boy all fall, the Eggnog fairy leaves you a WHOLE GALLON of ice cold eggnog on your dresser on Christmas Eve! Combine that with the Rum Pirate (which leaves you a bottle of rum if you pillage ten villages in the calendar year. I’m up to seven already!) and you have the greatest Christmas ever. And the drunkest. So if I had to choose, eggnog rocks more than Spiderman 3. Man, I could go for some right now!
Well, those are a few things that rock more than Spiderman 3. It’s a small list, though. Be sure to go to your local movie house and check out the biggest movie to hit America since ‘Adventures in Babysitting’!
One last thing! Last year, it was The Chachi Awards (which ran into this year) and this year I have something special once again. This year I will officially open up the greatest and most exclusive club since The Babysitters Club! Man, two babysitting references in one post? That’s novel. Peeps, I give to you the next in pointless awards and achievement…
The Passion of Chachi Atrium of Awesomeness!!!
Yes, everyone else has a hall of fame. Why not have one for the most awesome of achievement in bad-assedness and kick-assedry? Wow, I am on a fucking ROLL today. Like a Pt Cruiser going over 65mph, I am on FI-YAH! There will be three inductees for 2007, one for Music, Movies and Miscellaneous. There will also be a Forum of the Fucktard for lifetime achievements in being a dipshit! I am a giver.
Now, I give you the first entrant into the Atrium of Awesomeness! He defined the 80’s with his awesome soundtrack work. His beard made us all want to look like Grizzly Adams. His lyrics inspired us to be alright and to of course….play with the boys. You know who he is. The first inductee into the Atrium of Awesomeness is…
KENNY LOGGINS!!
Congratulations! Stay tuned, peeps! The other two inductees will be announced soon and the ceremony will be at the end of May! Until next time, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out. AND GO SEE SPIDERMAN 3 THIS FRIDAY!!!
