Friday, March 10, 2006

Spring has sprung...right back into WINTER.

You know what? Mother nature is a bitch. She needs to be put in her place, I tell you what. No need for me to be cold in March. There is something really wrong with that. Also, what is with women and fur? You do understand thay you don't look sexy as much as you look like a cavewoman. I hate fur coats, not because I love animals but because it is tacky looking. Unless you killed it yourself, you shouldnt wear fur. It should be a badge of honor winstead of a badge of bad fashion taste.

Well, enough on that. I watched Shinobi straight through (with no interruptions this time so I could read all the subtitles) and one thing bugs me: movies about ancient Japan and China that are based on true events. Im not talking about the shitfests like Open Water and The Hills Have Eyes. BTW, same as When A Stranger Calls, I will FUCK YOU UP if you see that movie. Anyway, I like how they take stories about the shoguns, but did they really have kick-ass ninja abilities?

You are DAMN RIGHT they did, which is why I want to become the Shogun of Colorado. Z will be dubbed the Official Vice-Shogun of Beatdowns, which is a pretty cake job. He just says 'You know who we should beatdown? Greece.' Then Greece gets their ass handed to them. Kumi Koda is my first lady while Vida Guerra is my second lady (because I'm the SHOGUN. I can have as many ladies as I want!) and we will rule with an iron fist!

Anyway, back to Shinobi. I can honestly say there was only one bad part of the movie. And it wasnt BAD as much as you went 'that was kinda hokey'. There was another part that pissed me off, but it was more a relection of how evil women can be. if you have seen The Ice Harvest, you know what I mean. Aside from those two parts, there is a tragic love story, a bad ass zombie warrior, a kick ass score and well choreographed fights albeit hella short. If it ever comes to the USA unraped by Quentin Tarrentino, I recommend you check it out. Also, Ayumi Hamasaki performs the closing theme. It doesn't get much better than that. Check out Heaven.

I know video has nothing to do with the movie, but it was released as an album single rather than a track for the movie. I loves the song none the less. And her voice is incredible when you put into perspective the different styles of music she sings. Compare this to Evolution (I put it up on Wednesday I think) and you will see her voice is very dynamic. I should be on American Idol as a judge. Get rid of Randy's ass and put me on there.

Alrighty, it has been what, a day since I have had some Kumi Koda up on here. That is WAY to long for me to not have my fix. I NEED IT. Here is a live rendition of No Regret, and although its not one of my favorite songs from her it is live and she is the best live performer out there this side of probably Missy Elliott or System of A Down. Not a fan of either or their music, but they can rock a show like no other. Anyway, back to my lady love.

You know, I am about 15 deep in terms of watching her live performances, and I have YET to see her lip synch a full song. She has a pre-recorded vocal track, but she is singing for the most part except for the hook. Aside from Kumi and New Edition (I STILL want to see a show with Bobby ever since they couldnt make the USO show with MC Hammer. Now THAT was a party!), I dont think anyone does the live singing dancing thing anymore. That and she still has a good singing voice when dead tired and making moves. Guess that's why I'm smitten. Being saucy doesn't hurt either.

So next Friday is the day. V For Vendetta comes out and I cannot WAIT! It looks great, Natalie Portman bald is not to shabby (and she is a hell of a rapper too. Now that Lil Kim is in jail, she should make her move for the crown of Queen of Hip Hop) and they blow up Big Ben. Take THAT England! Oooohhh, we have a big ass clock! Big deal, Flava Flav has one AND his own show. Beat that, you tea sipping umbrella jockeys! And take back Hugh Grant, you bastards! Oh, and Madonna if you want her. Anyway, back to V For Vendetta. I glanced at the graphic novel at Barnes and Noble and it didnt look too bad. Check out the trailer:

Fight the power, porcielin man. All in all, looks to be a kick ass film. Did I mention Natalie Portman is quite the fine?

Ah, Padme. You made the last three Star Wars watchable. Like a young Winona Ryder. Leave me alone, I have a thing for elves.

I gotta run, ya'll. Douchebrawl ends TONIGHT so make sure to vote and see who makes the Final Four of Douchedom! Well, all things must come to an end. Wait.....

Aaaahhh, there's the end. Stay up peeps.

Chachi out.