What is up, people! I am back for another blog because….I missed you all. Except Sarah in Albany. I didn’t miss you in the slightest. Bitch. So today I am rather pissed. Not because I found out some shit about a job I wanted that was given to someone else with less qualifications (Get a drink in me and I will tell you about it) just because I was already with the company. Although…that does piss me the fuck off. I am pissed because music has officially become shit. I know I say that all the time but I usually find solace in a Lupe Fiasco or Abingdon Boys School song (NEW TM REVOLUTION ALBUM! MAKE IT FUCKING HAPPEN!) to subside my anger. But not this time. Oh hells no. The end of the world has come to a end. Kiss your babies goodbye, tell your parents you love them. Armageddon is here, and once again it is caused by a female. A FEMALE RAPPER no less. So what song is going to cause the Ragnarok I speak of?
“Smell Yo Dick” by Riskay
Yes….you heard that right. Smell yo motherfucking dick. First off, it is a female rapper which combines two of the things I hate the most on this fucking planet. The only thing that would have been worse if she was a TURKISH female rapper. At least extremist Muslims would have had it right and stoned her ass. Okay, that was too far but a severe ass-whoopin would suffice this shit.
SMELL YO’ DICK?! WHAT ARE YOU, A DAMN MONGREL?!
You see, it is shit like this why Hip Hop, women and Black women in particular are never taken seriously. Say what you will about it being “funny” or “ironic” because only niggas say this song is one of those words and as we all know NIGGAS DON’T FUCKING READ SO THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THOSE WORDS MEAN! Songs like this cut out the hard work that many rappers do to be respected in three and a half shitty, aggravating minutes. What good can seriously come out of this song? It isn’t funny in the slightest and in the end just sounds stupid and I never thought I would say this….vulgar and downright WRONG. This is coming from a guy that has joked about several HORRIBLE THINGS:
• Sex with minors (Why are teenage girls like potato chips? Because once you pop, you cant stop!)
• Sex with animals (Not ALL animals. Just collies They look like they would appreciate you more than labs or golden retrievers would. They look like lovers then leavers)
• Elimination of NO LESS that 100 races, creeds, religions and countries (Hitler was a pussy as far as I’m concerned. You gotta think BIG!)
• Rape (Surprise sex, people. Women love suprises! And if you listen to them they love sex! Best of both fucking worlds!)
• Domestic violence (Throw the jab, bitches! It’s a set up punch!)
• Child abuse (Listen, a child will kill you and everyone you care about. Just like puppies)
• Kicking of puppies (See above. Fuck puppies. Not literally, 21 and up for me. Which means…three in dog years!)
And after all that, that song is fucking gross. Even more so than gross is the fact that it is just plain ignorant. I mean first off, the concept of smelling a penis proves nothing. Bitch, what are you a fucking bloodhound? Even if you DID smell another woman’s nookie nectar on his fuckstick (Innuendo, its spreading) you can’t PROVE anything! You are running on hearsay and conjecture and as we all know those are not forms of evidence! I learned that shit on LA LAW!
Harry Hamlin, Corbin Bernsen, Blair Underwood and Jimmy Smits? SIGN ME UP, SAILOR! They can cross examine me anytime! Hottest show of the 80’s….bar none. Anyway, the fact this song is ANYWHERE is a crime and injustice to ears everywhere. The writers of this song need to be arrested for crimes against humanity much like we did to Saddam Hussein and SHOULD DO to Uwe Boll. If you saw “Alone In The Dark” then you know what I mean. The fact that I am even wasting a rant and post on this is more than I wanted to do but doing this keeps me from KILLING HER. When songs like this are played, the terrorists win. Because they don’t have dick smelling in Arab countries to check for cheating because they smack’em up like a beach ball at a Grateful Dead concert. That and the burka makes smelling nigh impossible. Maybe they DO have it right. This song is stupid and the fact it was made makes Jesus cry. Wait….that’s a good thing!
See, as tasteless as that was to you Christians and Catholics (Big ups to Jews!) it was more tasteful than that song. That is all I have to say about that. You guys stay up and stay away from that song.
Live, Laugh, Learn and Love.
