Wednesday, January 25, 2006

There are days when it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. They are called days off.

Aw, hell yeah! We off to Jeff-eezy's! It's been a long time, peeps. Had some things to do this weekend so the updates had been put on hold. But life has slowed down and I am back!

On a sad note, I haven't heard back from the company I interviewed with, even after I sent a thank you letter and e-mail. Not a BAD sign seeing as they said the beginning of next week would be the contact date. Don't want to come on too strong or seem to desperate. Ladies mace you in the club for that kind of thing.

For follow-up: Teq's show went well. Needless to say, the fewer people you have in the entorage, the better. I swear he is like Diddy-deep when it comes to a posse. I have some video of the concert and random stuff that I will have up on youTube this week. And if you are reading, no Jackie I dont think you have a big head. Its proportional.

I saw Underworld: Evolution and I must say, it was pretty damn awesome. I wasnt expecting the world after the first one, but it was really good. It was no Batman Begins (the movie which all other films will be judged from this point on until eternity or until the sequel hits), but it was watchable and the action was top notch. The whole blood think had me bugged, but hell it was a vampire movie and they don't drink Fanta. Note to Coca-Cola: NO ONE DRINKS FANTA. At least there were no Fantana's in the previews. God I can't stand Fanta.

As for my rants. I have been suprisingly calm this week. Nothing really pissed me off so nothing is fresh on my mind. I'm having an issue with women with fake ta-ta's and asking for an opinion. They are foriegn objects. In your body. Do the thinking by yourself and you will figure out that unless you have like two miss matched boobies or an horrifying deformity that they look stupid and implausable in terms of gravity. And about the half-size jean jacket: get a full coat or go without. Fashion is fashion, but tiny coats are fucking stupid. And do not wear clear heels unless you are a stripper or want to be mistaken for one. NO ONE wears clear heels outside of the nudie bar. Oh, and if the shoes are uncomfortable, dont wear them. I dont care if you are trying to impress other girls, men (who if they are looking at your feet longingly are probably not the men to mess with any-damn-way) or whoever. If the shoe dont fit, dont wear the shit.

As for men....boy where do I start. First off an unironed shirt and ripped pants arent vintage. Its an unironed shirt and ripped pants. Hobos dress that way because they have to. At least let the downtrodden keep their fashion, dicks. Also, unkept hair is not a fashion statement! Putting gel in there doesnt help the problem! Invest in a comb, you brain-dead mouth-breather! Wifebeaters are NOT AN ARTICLE OF CLOTHING! It is an UNDER-SHIRT. To be worn UNDER a SHIRT. Common sensel, people! If you are wearing a wifebeater, you should be beating women. And if you are beating women, in the afterlife you WILL be anally violated. No matter what religion, Ike Turner aint getting a parade when he dies. He will spend the afterlife in a cell with a man named Twan. And he's hungry...for love. And that's real. Unless you are :

The Rock
Vin Diesel (I hate his work, but I got to agree with Beth on this one. Tres hot)
Christian Bale (Batman for you non-believers)
Mike Vick (I'm straight, but that is a buff dude. Hells yeah)

You should not be wearing a muscle shirt. It may be a little jealosy talking, but think about it. Its not fashionable, not functionable and you arent sexy you look bloody stupid. We all know you cant breathe and thats why you are posted up against something and not dancing at the club. Because you will pass out and I aint giving your quasi-buff ass CPR.

And now for my nemesis: black people. Here are the new official rules:
  • No chains, of any metal
  • No grillz (whould you put metal in your mouth on GP? Hells no! Why for fashion?)
  • No music video dancing. How about this, if you see it in a video dont do it. Odds are its not fit for a public arena and usually only serves the purpose of strippers. They want their moves back.
  • No more of the 'too cool' act. Niggas know what I mean. Women's names aint ma and shorty. And get the hat from over your face, you look like a 9 year old at their first Cubs game with dads hat. And ladies, dont take it. You are just as stupid as they are when you do. Ignorance breeds ignorance.
  • No pimp cups. Ever. It wasnt cool when Lil Jon did it. Sure as FUCK wasnt cool when Bishop Don Juan did it (another rant completely) and its not cool now. Sorry, Teq but I just cant dig it. I'm hating.
  • Tight booty pants. I had to battle with this one, because I like curves. But I also like women who dont have to dress like they are going to the club. At Safeway. Quit trying so hard, if you got it, it shows wherever you are with whatever you are wearing.
  • Sunglasses inside/at night. Not sure when this became hot. The song was stupid and so are you. Please stop before you accidentaly walk into traffic.
Quite simply, this is the point. Women: Life is not 'Sex in the City', stop trying to live that way. Men are simple and so are you. Act like it and we will both be happier. Men: Life is not Maxim. And comb your damn hair. Look like you have some god damn sense. Black people: Never watch BET. Nothing redeeming has ever come from that network. You would be suprised the interesting stuff you see when you watch something without rap in the background.

Had to let that out. Back to the peeps. Well, I know that rant was out of the blue, but after bing in settings with a variety of people, I notice things. Also, the next rant is on anime fans. As Zach knows, I hate fanboys (comics) and I cant STAND otaku. And I will rant on yaoi so be forwarned. Well, thats all for now, I'm gonna put stuff up tomorrow because....hell I have nothing else to do. One last thing. Griff, here is Mayra Veronica:

I told you.

Stay up peeps. Chachi out.