What is up, peeps? Today I want to tackle something that has been tossed out as of late that I really need to address and clarify to people. You see, I am one to rarely toss out the phrase “racist” because I believe the word is based in saying something untrue or hurtful under the guise of humor or social commentary. I don’t actually hate Jewish people although I do make Jewish jokes along with most other…well, everything else. I also know the ledge. Drop the beat, Eric B:
First off, I miss Rakim. Second off, when I say know the ledge there is a line when it comes to humor that unless it is personally directed to an individual (See: Jess for being…well, Jess) I do not cross because it is quite simply not funny to me. Now I am an individual and I always say to each their own but I don’t go around saying “chink” or “heeb” all the time because there is no need to. You can be provocative without being offensive. It isn’t like the line is thin, either. There is a clear line between offensive and humorous and if you don’t know it then your ass aint funny. Think about it like this: if you heard someone else say what you are about (Or in some cases JUST DID) say, would you find it funny? Would it be any more or less offensive had someone else said it and if they had would you let it slide? If you say no to this then what you just said is offensive. If you say no then it should be good but…there are a lot jerkasses out there. I am one.
Now with that completely addressed, I was called something today that I have never been called before. Which was a shock to me but then again I don’t care about what anyone says to me ever to I can see how this all kind of overlaps. I got called sexist today. What is weird about it is that what I agreed with what I thought was pure fucking logic. I stated that affirmative action only counts if you are equal to the person you are competing against. If you have the same qualifications or more and you don’t get the job because you are a woman or a colored (My words, not hers) then I said affirmative action is not only justified it is necessary. HOWEVER, if you are NOT qualified and you are being considered over qualified candidates (Not only Whites, any race or sex) I don’t see how that is effective in any way shape or form. My exact words and I was called sexist because I wasn’t being sensitive to the plight of women in the workplace.
Now as a Black male I can honestly say that affirmative action has its’ place. By the way, I love how White women think that having a Black president means that all Black people as a whole are taking their shit. I haven’t got my Obama Bump yet, motherfucker so shut the hell up. Anyway, it DOES diversify the workplace when it is filled with several of the same type of person no matter the sex, race, religion or creed. If you are a woman and you are as qualified as a man if there are 100 men in the department and no women then damn it I believe she should get that job IF she is qualified or more qualified than the male applicant. I don’t believe an over-qualified person should be over-looked because they are female just as much as I don’t believe and under-qualified person SHOULD be hired because they are male. With that said, once you are in there you have to follow the set rules that go along with the workplace. PERIOD.
First off, you should not be treated any differently just because of who or what you are unless it is needed to help you perform the task. If you are handicapped and you need a ramp that is of course fine. If you are blind and you require Braille then that is quite kosher. If you are a woman, you do not need to be coddled. If there is a particular way that people are spoken to or disciplined for their actions then you don’t need different treatment because you are a woman. If you cannot do the job under the specifications that are laid out for all employees then you ARE NOT QUALIFIED. I do not expect to be a police officer because I cannot run for shit and would be inclined to just shoot a motherfucker. That and I don’t like being around crackheads; they scare me.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am not talking about being difficult for the sake of douchery. I have seen female employees bullied for not being able to be “one of the guys” just the same as I have seen Asian employees talked slowly to because of their accent or Black people corrected for saying a work correctly…which I believe should be met with a Black fist to the White face side but that is just me (Case in point, I heard a Black man say coerced during a HR session at my old job and the White person corrected him by saying it was “coerced” but put the emphasis on the “er”. I wanted to stab that dude). I do not believe that the feeling that coddling an employee because she is female is sexist. Just like I don’t believe making exemptions for Black employees being chronically late is being racist. It’s just good business because you would be firing a hell of a lot of Black people if you didn’t.
Okay, I am kidding there but in all seriousness I don’t believe I am sexist in thinking a woman shouldn’t get hired over other qualified applicants because she is female is unfair just as I feel the same about any minority that gets chosen over another candidate; male or female. I just think it is fair. I don’t think that emotion should take precedent when dealing with the same issue any male employee should have to just grin and bear like a lay-off, criticism or reprimand. Everybody is hurt when they get laid off or fired (Except for me, I was WAY TOO DRUNK TO CARE, wasn’t I Copper? All by 11:30am, too. I’m awesome!) so why should there be special consideration to female employees “feelings?” Feelings are for poor people!
The other issue I have had is the concept of harassment:
Now I believe that the workplace should be a safe place for anyone and everyone. You should never feel that your job or safety is in jeopardy when you walk in the door no matter who you are or what sex or age you are. Let’s face it though…it isn’t all about you. As one who has seen sexual harassment up close (I felt…so used. She made me be…THE WOMAN! WAAAH!) I can say it isn’t fun but at the same time…c’mon! Lighten up, ladies! It’s all in good fun! I AM FUCKING KIDDING! Kind of.
Well if I can’t talk about slapping the shit out of Beyonce (Which is surprisingly sexual harassment for some fucking reason. I just thought it was a well deserved slap but here we are) then there are something’s that women cannot talk about in the workplace…ever:
1. Your Fucking Kids: Understand this right here and now. No one cares about your kids but you and maybe the Army if they are willing to get shot at and love sand and Arabs/Pakis. Yes, I fucking went there. I don’t need to see their pictures, I don’t care if you don’t know why they are into emo and I DON’T GIVE A FUCK YOUR KID LIKES RAP. Just because I am Black doesn’t mean I like rap…jackass.
2. Menstrual Cycles: I don’t give a fuck how natural it is. I have never talked out loud at work about working my turk except maybe twice. EVER. That is a natural function. As a matter of fact, I keep my privates just like the word: FUCKING PRIVATE. I don’t care if you are talking to other women if you are in earshot I don’t care that you fucking bleed. Get some stitches or SUCK IT UP. God hates us all and that is your punishment. Mine is 50 Cent.
3. Sex: As much as hearing men talk about sex at work is vulgar and borderline illegal (Everyone has a Quagmire at work. If you aint laughing then that nasty motherfucker is YOU), hearing women talk about sex is surprisingly…egotistical and pointless. In my years of listening to the clucking across the cubes, women think that whatever they like is by default sexy and whatever men like is by default deviant and yet neither is true because not all women like things that are sexy and not all men think that bukkake is the best way to spend a Wednesday. The reason I state this is because 64% of women’s number one fantasy is rape so I really don’t find anything logical about that so anything that comes out of their mouth to me is just like what everyone else says to me: jibber-jabber. Sex happens in your own bedroom (Or in some cases in the back of a Nissan Stanza at a lunch break according to a certain co-worker) or wherever but I don’t need to hear about it in the office.
4. Your Outfit: NO ONE GIVES A FUCK. Work isn’t a fashion show so I could care less about how those boots look with that blouse. You know what is even funnier? Women can’t dress themselves. Go to the mall for 10 minutes and tell me if they look like they have one dimes worth of fashion sense. Now take those mallrats and add 10-15 (Sometimes 20-25…you know who you are, ladies) and put them in a professional environment. You now have the workplace in the 2000’s. It’s like Claire’s and Forever 21 exploded except your trifling ass is over 30. Oh, and hooker boots…no. Just no. While I am on this, the same goes for men and flip-flops. I am so sick of bros in the fucking workplace…but that is another rant altogether.
5. Twilight: New rule. If you are over the age of 16, you are not allowed to talk about that shit. Before you say “What about you and your anime and K-pop?! That’s the same thing!” I will first say “Fuck your simple ass, no it’s not” because anime has shows geared for adults AND teenagers and as for K-Pop…
Hells yeah, they are old enough. More talented to boot, although with After School that aint saying much. I have seen more talent at a pet store.
So in the end I want to gear back to me being sexist. As one who is has a Doctorate (Bachelor’s in Communications and a Minor in Women’s Studies. I am officially a Doctor. Take THAT, Bill Cosby!) I feel that statement about me is unfair. I think Kasey said it best: “I don’t think you are angry as much as overly forward.” I have to say that statement fits with my stance on pretty much everything. I SAY I hate women as much as I SAY I hate Black people. Truth is if you pay attention I hate ASPECTS of women and ASPECTS of Black people. I feel a lot of women skirt responsibility with perceived illogical “freedoms and rights” which like I have always said is quite alright if you want to create your own perceived reality. Problem is that we normies let assholes and bitches LIVE in that perceived reality because we don’t roll up a newspaper and smack them on the fucking nose when they accuse us of being sexist or racist because we point out their bullshit about blaming others or skirting responsibility. I would LOVE to chalk up my situation to the man holding me down and women being bitches to me. That is the easy way out, even if it is the truth. Knuckle up and live your life; quit expecting others to concede because you happen to be “oppressed.” You know who else said that? Hitler. Are you better than Hitler ladies? If not you better get an German companion, lock yourself in a bunker and commit suicide. First, you gotta eliminate the Jews. You got the stones for that? Didn’t think so.
Well…that was odd. No weirder than anything else I have posted, I guess. Well, I am off to bed. Be back on Wednesday MAYBE. I SAID MAYBE, ASS!
Chachi Out
