Back for the first time.

Yeah, back on the mainframe! What it be like?

First off, I am all for going slow when it is snowing. Safety first and all that nonsense. However, if you decide to go slow, in the left lane, you open yourself up to a Muscle Buster into the concrete. For those unfamiliar with Japanese wrestling, this is the Muscle Buster, as performed by the Walking Murder Machine, Samoa Joe.

As Cyborg would say: BOO-YAH! FEEL THE PAIN, PUNK ASS DRIVERS!! Be safe, but in the safe lane. Don't hold up the road for those of us speeding and listening to Driver's High. As a matter of fact, I am going to go back to my college paper and say that if driving were more like Mario Kart, the world would be a better place. Now I give you:

Chachi's Rules of the Mario Kart Road!

1. Ramps that can only be cleared by going the speed limit. Between those ramps? Pipe Monsters. The big ones, not those baby ones from the first three Marios. Swallow your car whole like Gina Lynn. Kids, don't look that up. Dudes, she's a champ. Check her out.
2. Randomly placed chain chomps. C'mon, that would kick ten parts of ass. And much like in the jungle and zombie movies, the slow one gets eaten.
3. Automatic Blue Turtle Shells to cars forced to slowdown more than 10mph within 3 seconds. The rewards those that want to win. I hate slowing down because the Stevie Nicks litening freak in front of me is cruising. This is the great equalizer.
4. Power Ups for Aggressive Driving. Like style points in Need For Speed, you get mushrooms, 'naner peels and turtle shells by offensive driving (passing, drifting, etc.). This rewards getting the hell out of my way. Also, you get power ups for hopping through corners. Griff taught me that trick, big ups.
5. Invincibilty Stars! When you get the star and hit a jump, it goes all Burnout style and you clear MEGA distance. I'm talking 20 miles. Also, when you hit a car while invincible, you get their power ups and gas. Those gas prices are creeping up again.

Those are just a few of what a Mario Kart world would offer us. We can only dream.

You know what I really hate? When you like a song on an album that isnt a single, but once it is released they play it to the point that you want to rip out your brain through your eardrums. That is the case with Ne-Yo's so sick. I won't lie, I have had the song for about 3 months after downloading it (although for some reason it had Jin on it) and I was like 'Wow, this is a pretty good song.' Then the video came out for it and I was like 'Wow, this is a pointless ass video.' I was able to get past that because it's easy to avoid MTV. Now the song is everywhere. Seriously it was in a Robitussin commercial. Okay, I'm exaggerating but you get the idea. Is it the purpose of EVERYONE in music to make you tired of an artist as quick as possible? It must be, because now I could live another day never hearing that song again. Which is a shame, because it is ne of the few R&B songs that doesn't suck complete ass. Pied Pisser of R&Pee and Avant, I am looking at your sorry asses. If it wasn't for John Legend and Jill Scott, R&B would be dead.

Speaking of John Legend, I must say I am glad he won the Best New Artist Grammy. I know the Grammys don't mean much (Hell, I have one for Best Hip-Hop/Folk/Dance Sung Collaboration with Vocals from short lived Con-Phun-Tation Project in 1997) but it was good to see him win kudos for a GREAT, GREAT, GREAT album. And since the radio doesn't play good music, I never got tired of his songs. If anyone has the Ordinary People track with the orchestra ending, let me know.

I love that damn song.

So I talk a lot about J-pop singers on this blog, and I completely spaced on a duo I really dig. Emyli and Yoshika were on a song with M-Flo called Dopamine that I put up a while back, and this song wasnt labeled correctly so I didnt know she sang it. I feel like such a tool. Anyway, this song kicks ass and I would like to share it with the peeps. Expand your horizons, peeps.

For what it's worth, M-Flo is not too bad lyrically. Unlike Seamo. Imagine Lil Jon, but add about 5 inches in height, lose the dreads and turn him Japanese. Yep, that bad. At least he's trying so I gotta give him a C- for effort. Speaking of effort and C- level rappers, what in the hell happened to Ja Rule? Am I the only one concerned about the whereabouts of Ja? WHERE'S JA?! Not gonna lie to you, I kinda miss Ja Rizzo. Look me in the eye and look at Rizzo the rat and tell me there is no resemblance:

Where would I be without yoooooooooooooooooouu! It's cheddaaaaaa! Okay, okay those are jokes a lot of you won't get. Carry on, Ja. Carry on.

Well, that is all for now. Tune in tomorrow, because I have another idea for greatness. Foreshadowing, peeps. You know you love it. Oh, here is the La La Love Song remix with Soul'd Out. It's on the website, but this is a lot better quality.

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Oh yeah that's the stuff. Well, I will be back tomorrow, peeps. Don't forget, freedom isn't free. Support Vida Guerra.

Now THAT is how you end a post. Chachi out.

Snow day my fat black ass!

Weather people are the biggest dipshits EVER. It's the only job aside from President where you can be totally fucking wrong and no one gets upset. You know what, here is an idea. For every time a weather person makes a completely wrong forcast, the get hit with a stun gun. Right in the testicals. Or nipple for female weatherpeople because women can do stuff now. They also can get tortured for not giving ME THE RIGHT FUCKING FORCAST! Through playing around with them.

So after WAAAAAAY too long of searching, I finally found Shinobi: Heart Under Blade DVD rip on bittorent with subtitles. It has acually been out for about 3 months, but my dumb ass kept getting the one recorded in the theater. I am way late on the draw with this one. I actually thought this was based off of the video game and that would INDEED suck. Instead, it is a kick ass flick that makes Crouching Tiger and Hero look like flaming piles of shit in a German fetish movie. Ok, maybe that is a little much, but from what I saw in its dark, poorly shot glory two months ago it was pretty good. That and I need my subtitles. Once I get money to buy a region free DVD player, I will buy a copy from YesAsia. See, I'm against piracy! I just think the RIAA and MPAA can eat my ass. With all they gouge from us in the theaters and record stores, they should really shut the fuck up about piracy. I think Americans deserve a free download for every movie they have had to sit through with Tara Ried, Michelle Rodriguez, Heath Ledger or ANY rapper not named Mos Def. Pay what you owe, bitches cuz The Revolution is back.

Now, for the two or three ladies that read this site (Beth excluded because you sure as hell better not be drinking) read this article. I'll wait. Did you read it? Not glance I mean READ it. I'll wait again. Finished it? Okay, here goes. NO FUCKING SHIT. I have been saying stay away from Spring Break since 1999 because that shit is stupid and dangerous. Now it is officially science. Science has my back, ladies. Who has yours? Let's recap some of this article:

More than half said they regretted getting sick from drinking on the trip. (That's everyone though, male and female. Can't hold it against you)
About 40 percent said they regretted passing out or not remembering what they did. (I have said it once, I will say it again: THERE IS NO REASON TO DRINK UNTIL YOU BLACK OUT. None.)
10 percent said they regretted engaging in public or group sexual activity. (You know why Solid Snake only holds one gun at a time? Because you lose accuracy when you fire two at a time. Lara Croft should take a note, and so should you. More than one wang at a time is not cool unless you are getting paid handsomely for it. And I know it didnt say at once but lets face it, thats what they mean.)
13 percent said they had sexual activity with more than one partner. (Hey, get your freak on if you want. Just remember, the crap in health class about having sex with everyone that person has had sex with? You are now officially a statistic. Men and women, dudes are just as dirty.)
More than half were underage when they first drank alcohol on a spring break trip. (Now this shit is just sad. Not because I am against underage drinking because I really dont care what kids do anymore. I just wonder when you are 14-18, what in the fuck do you need to drink for? The real world hasnt crushed your dreams yet. Adults need to drink to shut up the voices in their heads and the voices of their bad-ass kids. Kids who drink need their ass whipped. Like my grandma said: ain't a problem some Crown and a beatin' cant fix.)

In closing on this, women the proof is out their. If you are gonna drink (which you shouldnt) do it in a safe enviournment and for gods sake if you don't know him, don't fuck him. It's just that simple. Like Jermaine Stewart said:

You dont have to take your, clothes off. To have a good time. No-oh.
You can dance and party, all night.
But dont drink any cherry wine cuz odds are a frat boy or swarthy forigener spiked it. Uh-huh.

New Bleach, fool! I was going through withdrawl for a minute, needed my Kon fix. Kind of a story slower of an episode, but more has still gotten accomplished than in DBZ. For those who STILL havent seen it, you can still get on the action. It's 71 episodes deep, though. Gonna take a bit to catch up but it's worth it.

So, it's time for What The Chachi Likes. You know what I have been digging lately? James Blunt. And I dont fucking know why. He's okay, but he's not great. But I have been listening to the album for a few days and I likes it. This is the video for High. I have never seen it, but I dig the song. Check it out:



The second thing is BoA. You have seen the videos for Love Bug with M-Flo and La La La Love Song (remix is better, I will post that here in a bit) and I must say that Miss Boa Kwan rules. Her new album came out last month and I spaced on ordering it. the kick ass thing is that it is only 11 bucks and has free shipping at www.yesasia.com so its actually cheaper than buying that new L.L. Cool J or whatever the kids listen to now days. Anyway, here is her new single from the Outgrow album, Ready~Butterfly. Check out the krumping. I'm not fan, but it's BoA so it's cool.

More BoA, for my sake.

That is a pretty young lady right there.

Peeps, today is your lucky day because you get TWO updates! I will drop some more bitching on you in a bit, I gotta run to Castle Rock and reportedly its snowing. I still say fuck the weather people. So until then, stay up peeps.

Chachi out.