Okay, a quick update because I am kind of in the mood and dreading going to work tomorrow. Seeing as how I have to be up at 5am to get there...I am having some soul searching time. With that, you get a new post! Kind of, I posted this in 2006 but I thought it was rather funny. It was after I had my first official date in about six months or so (Give or take that time I was dating someone and didnt know it because I was dense) and she kind of made it into an event when it was really just dinner, wine, a play and hanging out. Which I guess in the Constitution is a date but I didnt know that. So, here is a short redo about a little thing we all like but are never really ready for.
DATING
Now I will be the first to say it has been a HELLA long time since I have had a date. I’m not going to go into numbers, but let’s just say that I never it has been a while and I never want to see the girl I took out again. What a biggity-bitch. Anyway, what is it with women and dates? As a man, I think of dates as a simple way to get to know a person. No more, no less. Women seem to make dating out to be some big deal like it determines their future even though odds are it is going to go bad because that is all I ever hear. It really isn’t all that complicated. Especially for dudes, who a lot of times see a date as an alternative for getting a prostitute because they pay for tang either way. Listen, as Huey said you aren’t paying her, you are paying the restaurant.
Keep in mind my experience is limited and my attitude about and during a date may be the reason for the lack of them. When you look at it, you as a woman really dont have to DO anything. It is kind of like The Eagles in the playoffs: you are playing with house money. Or in this case, HIS MONEY. Let's put it all into perspective shall we? Ladies, on a date you get:
1. A free car ride. Can be great if the guy has a nice car. Or bad if he has a Honda Civic. Despite that, your ass aint paying for gas and even though the prices are going down it is a matter or priniciple. I for one dont mind driving but I DO MIND when a woman critiques my choice in music or my anime flair on my rear view. Understand something: Fergie sucks and she will not be played in my car no matter how much you like her. Personal expereince...I'm sorry.
2. Free Entertainment. What would a date be without a movie, play or event of some sort? If a lady decided to take me to the movies or to a play I would be all ‘hells yeah’ about it. Women seem to not have the liking for the theatre or the symphony like I do because well, they have all told me on general purpose they dont like it. Which means that the arts are frequented by old women and gay men. Oddly enough, those are the two groups that talk to me the most so it is all beginning to FUCKING MAKES SENSE! Sorry, breakthrough...
3. Free Food. Not only do you get free food, it is usually high quality food. Any man that takes you on a date to a fast food restaurant is straight PIMP because I don’t have the balls to do that. However, if you are okay with it you are dumb as fuck. I’m a sit down restaurant kind of guy when it comes to conversation anyway. This also comes to be a problem because women dont like to...what's that word...think. Women never want to make the decision about where to go on a date mostly because it is a MAN'S time to show you how he will treat YOU. Dates are like mini-weddings for women, except she isn't EXPECTED to give it up at the end of the night. More on that later.
4. Good conversation. This is a double edged sword in my opinion because usually I am told that I talk down to women, which is false. I can talk over the heads of some people but that is normal. Ladies, if a date with a man revolves around his work and you listening it is your own fucking fault. There is nothing better than a dynamic when conversing. One person talking for the whole time while the other listens SUCKS. Oh, and no matter what previous boyfriends have said, it isnt cool to talk about how much you dont like the way someone is dressed. I dont give a fuck and neither should you. This part is what you make of it.
5. No Strings Attached. Now THIS varies by the man. I for one don’t believe a woman owes me jack shit after a date because that is fucking stupid. When I go out with Zach or Nolan or Rick and I pay, I don’t get a 12-pack of Nati Ice and some Axe Body Spray (Inside joke for those that have seen the Bro Rape video) for the rough night ahead. Long story short, a date is a meet and greet to the point it is almost like an interview. Do you fuck the interviewer because they said you did a great job? If you do...damn you nasty.
So if I go out with a woman just on general purpose (lunch or dinner or whatever), not even a date and I pay I expect nothing. Any man that does is kind of pathetic. I’m just saying, money doesn’t grow on trees but have some common sense. Just because you take her out doesn’t mean she has to put out. Oh, and women; if you DO put out because he take you out then you are stupid as all hell. You are the reason that there needs to be a bailout on the pussy because it's stock is dropping like Chrysler. There is a fine line between taking advantage and just common courtesy. Remember that and you will have a good time without feeling like you owe someone something.
Well, I am out for now. I will be back at some point this week for another update. I just had to repost this after a rather comical conversation a few minutes ago and she didnt understand the original post. I hope you understand now. You can keep your clothes on and we can still have a good time, girl!
I would prefer NOT...but that's what the cherry wine is for! IT'S A CELEBRATION! Stay up, ya'll.
Chachi Out
