Okay, there is some shit I need to take you as people to task for right here and right now:
WHY IN THE FUCK IS “MADEA GOES TO JAIL” THE NUMBER ONE MOVIE IN AMERICA?!
I told you; when you watch a Tyler Perry movie an angel gets non-consensually raped! Congratulations, there is a angel right now getting sodomized because you had to see a shitty ass preview of “Big Momma’s House 3: Big Momma Breaks Out” which was going to be a CLASSIC! You know damn well that there can only be one successful Black actor at a time! When Terrance Howard gets work, you never hear from Will Smith! The more work we let Tyler Perry have the less time we have to see Hustle and Flow 2: Mo Hustle, Mo Flow! Damn, I am surprised that hasn’t happened yet.
In all seriousness, I have never seen a Tyler Perry movie but I am totally using the Brokeback Mountain Theory. All I know is that man dresses like a woman more than Nipsey Russell and Bugs Bunny COMBINED and they did it a lot better. I know I am the first to say “to each their own” but between Tyler Perry and the whole Twilight bullshit I am losing faith in everything. Then, to piss me off even more I THINK I heard a new U2 song a few minutes ago. Now it could have been Coldplay; they both suck and piss me off about the same. You know, Coldplay doesn’t show up as a misspelled word in Microsoft Office programs but fuckstick does. WHAT IN THE HELL?! Oddly enough, douchebaggery and asshatery show up as misspelled but fuckwit and awesomeness don’t. Does Word get accustomed to the words you type? It’s fucking learning, dude!
Also, there needs to be a definition lesson for all the ladies out there:
Diva – ˈdi və,-vɑ [dee-vuh, -vah] a distinguished female singer; prima donna.
We good on that? Got it down? Okay, now for the next word:
Hustler - –noun
1. an enterprising person determined to succeed; go-getter.
2. Slang. a person who employs fraudulent or unscrupulous methods to obtain money; swindler.
3. Informal. an expert gambler or game player who seeks out challengers, esp. unsuspecting amateur ones, in order to win money from them: He earned his living as a pool hustler.
4. Slang. a prostitute.
5. a person who hustles.
Okay, did you read that? Now, are they in ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM SIMILAR? No? Well, then we are now in agreement of what women should have already fucking known:
DIVA ISN’T A FEMALE VERSION OF A HUSTLER…UNLESS SHE IS A PROSTITUTE.
And you aren’t prostitutes, are you ladies? Alrighty then. Here is some math for you then:
Webster > Beyonce
Webster ownz your face.
Holy shit, it was Coldplay. However, there is a new U2 video which means I am declaring war on Ireland until they take those limey fuckers back and lock them up for sucking since “Where The Streets Have No Name” or face my wrath. You heard me, TAKE BACK YOUR SHITTY ASS BAND! NOW!
That is all for now, I will be back on Tuesday (Hopefully, depends on how I am feeling) but one last thing. Charlie Wilson: STOP IT. No more albums. You have been working with Snoop since I was in HIGH SCHOOL and I still don’t care. No one else does either. Let The Gap Band be what we remember you for, to a lesser extent yelling “OOHH WEE!” in Signs with Snoop and J-Tim. Don’t be remembered for “Snoop’s Upside Yo Head.”
UPDATE: HEATH LEDGER WON BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR FOR “THE DARK KNIGHT!” Hells to the yes! I have come a long way from creating a mob to get him kicked off the cast to actually being blown away by his performance. Best pick in a long while. Well, I am gone for now.
Chachi Out
