Passion Of Chachi Omnibus: Keepin It Real Edition!
Okay, here are a couple of questions I have asked myself and let slide for the most part because I don’t care. However, these were asked of me prior and instead of saying I don’t give a fuck (Which I really feel) I am actually going to answer the questions like I give a rats ass. So everybody hop on the bus to freedom!
Question #1: What Is With Women Kissing Women?
Okay, let’s rewind back to my college days when I was in A.W.A.R.E. (The acronym escapes me, it will come back though). It was the women’s organization at UCCS and of course was all women….and me. Yeah, it was about as hilarious as it sounds when you say it out loud. Now in that organization were about five or so lesbians and you know what? They were cool. We hung out, talked sports and about how much women were bitches (Wow…I am a total lesbian! Bull dyke). One drunken night in a bar on Nevada after a meeting/panel discussion we all talked about a small trend at the time about women kissing women that “claimed” weren’t lesbians. They went OFF about that shit. I remember I stated “So, it is like a White kid that acts WAY too Black, Blacker than any Black person you know….but can go back to being White to get fucking job?” Ladies and gentlemen, I have figured out the comparison and it is women that kiss women that aren’t gay = Whites that act “Black.” In other words:
Faux lesbians = Wiggers
Yeah, I went there. Now I know I am in the minority when I say that the influx of women thinking that kissing women but aren’t gay is fucking stupid. Hell, I may be the only guy out there that feels that way but I am happy on this island because it does nothing but show the lack of respect of actual lesbians and just shows you to be a drunken whore. Oh, I am wrong? Honestly think about it. I have known females that were beaten up, disowned by their family, ostracized by friends and even sexually assaulted for being WHO THEY ARE. Yet your skanky ass can get some Long Island Iced Teas in you and kiss another drunken bitch in the name of “sexual individuality” or pop culture? Fuck you, asshole. If you are a lesbian then by all means be who you are but don’t attribute some shitty ass song, too many drinks or mistake thinking you are being provocative or sexually liberating with being a drunken, disrespectful whore. I may not be looking at it the way you are but I am looking at it from the eyes of someone that actually RESPECTS homosexuality rather than sees it as something to get attention. Do you think Matthew Sheppard wanted attention? Oh, it’s not the same parallel you say? If I went out and decided to kiss up on a dude in a bar and got confronted by inbred rednecks I couldn’t respond “Oh, I am totally not gay. False alarm!” When you are gay, you are gay 24/7, not long enough to get free drinks or be the attention whore for about 10 minutes or so. It is weird how when straight women kiss women they are just “experimenting with their sexuality” but don’t want to be seen as “gay” but rather bi-sexual. That is a slope that is slippery for me but let me try to address this.
I make a lot of comments about how I would sex up Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, Terrance Howard and of course Bi. I don’t necessarily want to give it or take it in the backfield like Shawne Merriman but I acknowledge that they are attractive men. Now I honestly believe that a lot about SEXUAL ATTRACTION is choice. It is how I explain pedophiles because no one is BORN sexually attracted to little boys and little girls. If you are then may whoever you pray to help you because that shit is gross. Back to that last statement, I wouldn’t consider myself “bi-sexual” because I don’t actually think of them in a sexual manner. Acknowledging beauty in the same sex is one thing, actually engaging in a physical act with the same sex is a whole ‘nother hill of garbanzos. Now I automatically feel about bisexuals the exact way I feel about mulattos….err….half-breeds….err….mixed people. Just do you. If you are attracted to both sexes then…be you. However, logically that would create eternal conflict and unhappiness like a Muslim Jew but what do I know? I’m sober so shit aint looking right.
Let’s bring this back full circle. I honestly view women that kiss other women when they aren’t lesbians as desperate, disrespectful and drunken attention whores that are playing off of the “taboo” when in reality they are belittling the difficulty and strife of actually BEING a lesbian. Just like the whore “metro sexual” fad did to being gay. I’m sure when gay men were being called “faggot” and “queer” that they WISHED they could say “Oh, I’m just metro. I love titties!” and make it be true. They couldn’t and didn’t because they know who they are and don’t do it for social acceptance and free drinks (Although…I have gotten a few free drinks at Club Q when it was open. I’m a hottie!) as much as it is their life and who they are. As we all know, women want all the power and none of the responsibility so that point is moot. It’s a lonely path being the only person willing to lay down the law to people.
This mass transit mobile is saving the environment and going nationwide, baby! Let’s stop at the next question!
Question #2: What Is With All The Baby Killing Jokes? Are You Being Ironic Or Are You Pro-Choice?
Well, that is a very interesting question unnamed female that asked it! Seriously, don’t sign as “Anonymous” unless you are dealing with Scientologists. Fucking cocks. Anyway, the fast answer to that is “Yes” I am very Pro-Choice. I honestly believe that if you are able to go through with an abortion then knock yourself out. Your body, your decision to put a Roto Rooter in there. I mean you already have had a wang in there so it isn’t the strangest thing you have put in your gullyhole. The fact that people are trying to tie a moral aspect to abortion is humorous to me because Christians can’t even decide when life ENDS so how can they decide when the shit begins? Logically and numerically, life starts at the point the baby pops out of a vag-ing-ah. Therefore, up until that point it is just Play-Doh until it is popped out in a shape and form of a baby that we all know and despise. It has no rights and as we all know, dogs have more rights that fetuses (Shouldn’t the plural of fetus be feti?) and that is why Michael Vick is in jail and abortion doctors aren’t. Makes sense, right?
Well that is all for now. I will get to Joey’s question on Sunday. A review of Hellboy 2 at some point this weekend. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
