It is Friday which means four days until TRANSFORMERS!!! YEAH! But before then, we have something almost as awesome. ALMOST. I give to you…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get started this week with a debut from a group with a video already contending for the top spot!
20. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (New Entry)
HELLS YES! Can this week GET ANY BETTER?! First “Live Free or Die Hard” and now a new video by Abingdon Boys School? Yeah, you know it. Hopefully this is the last video and an album will soon follow. I saw this video on Monday and all I can say is kilts are hard to pull off. But they make it work. Oh, and that gives these guys TWO videos in the Top 20! More on that later…
19. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (New Entry)
Yaaaay! Finally there is a video for this song! The video itself is simple (Think “SEVENTH HEAVEN” without the effects) but the song really brings it all together. Their last song (Yura Yura) grew on me after a while to the point that I couldn’t live without it. You see, this is what music should be!
18. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 20)
AI moves up two spots this week with her latest video. It had been a while since I had seen her (“I Wanna Know” was like…early 2006) and I was beginning to wonder if she was ever coming back. Well my prayers were answered with a kick ass video!
17. Common – The People (New Entry)
The third and final new entrant this week comes from one of my five favorite current emcees. Common is back and once again proves that hip hop in all its simplicity can still be an art. No booty butt cheeks, no gaudy chains and no overpriced cars. Just Common rapping. Simple in its brilliance. Welcome back, Common!
16. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #13)
Looks like Fall Out Boy’s emo run is coming to an end as this video falls three spots this week. Here is looking for something new soon, they are really beginning to grow on me. Shocking I will admit…
15. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (Last Week #14)
Bwah?! Enrique after moving up ever so quickly last week falls back a spot to #15! Mainly because I haven’t seen the video in almost two weeks which is odd. Even still, the song is broken-hearted stalker GOLD.
14. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #15)
So Gackt switches places with Enrique this week, moving up one spot. I just got the live performance and all I can say is this. Gackt may be…the Japanese David Bowie. I have never said that because David Bowie was always a trendsetter. As is Gackt. Oh, what a conundrum this is!
13. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #10, Four weeks at #1)
The mighty has fallen from the Top 10! It looks like nobodyknows+ is on their way down and out with this video. Hopefully, we will see something new from them soon.
12. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)
Yummy. That is all I can say about these ladies. Foxxi MisQ is one of two artists with two videos on the Top 20 Countdown and this video is making moves to become their second Top 10 video. Only UVERworld can stake the claim of having two videos move UPWARD in the same week. Can these sexy ladies crack the upper echelon? We will see!
11. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #8, One week at #1)
One step from the Top 10 and Yuna Ito continues her slow descent. This video has been on here FOREVER (Since March) with half of that time in the Top 10. She has a new video (although I am not feeling it as much as this one) and hopefully a new album soon.
10. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #12)
Daddy Yankee is making moves with his first video on the Top 20! He moves up with the big names first time out. Can he hang? We shall see, but this video has a hell of a lot going for it. Except Fergie…who is looking a little more mannish lately.
9. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #6)
Falling three more spots, it looks like Rascal Flats will not get their second #1 video this time around. Quite the shame, this was some good stuff.
8. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #11)
The legends have finally done it! Hyde & Co. have their first Top 10 video and made a big jump to get there. Oh, and Hyde is trying to pull a Jack Sparrow with the eye patch and the aloof thing. Eh, worth a shot.
7. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #9)
T.I. moves up two spots this week in an attempt for his third #1 video! With Common and Outkast in the Top 20 and Kanye with an interesting new video (Viva Daft Punk!) is T.I. still The King of the Countdown? After running with no competition there are others who are looking to take the crown. Step yo’ game up, TIP!
6. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #2)
Aw, man. Orange Range slips like a squid after not being able to wrestle away the #1 spot. It was a good run for these guys but it is hard to knock off the champ, especially Duran Duran 2K7. Great job anyway!
5. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #5)
Uh oh! After a meteoric rise, Foxxi MisQ and Zeebra stand pat at #5 this week! That is fine with me, it’s hard to see Dem shake it while moving upward. Can they continue their upward mobility next week? We will have to see…
4. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #7)
The hottest video out right now moves even closer to the #1 spot, leapfrogging into the Top 5 this week! Is UGK’s album out yet? I went looking for it the other day and couldn’t find it. I have always liked UGK (Hell, they saved “Big Pimpin”) and it is about fricking time they got some recognition. Well…Pimp-C was locked up for a while but still. Now it is time for the biggest three videos in the land!
3. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #1, Three weeks at #1)
NOOOOOOOOOO! After three weeks on the top, Maroon 5 fall to places out of the #1 position! Make sure you pick up the album, BTW. It wasn’t a bad run for these guys. They held off Yuna Ito, Rascal Flats, Orange Range and nobodyknows+. Not a bad claim to fame if I say so myself. And we are down to two…
2. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #4)
Well look who it is! Can Yui make it three straight #1 videos? She is making a move for it, jumping two spots to the runner up position. This would make three Number One videos in 2007 ALONE! Can you say Chachi Award for Artist of the Year? Hell, maybe in a landslide. With all that said, she is the bridesmaid and not the bride this week. Who is #1?
1. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #3, One week at #1)
RAWK, THAT’S WHO IS #1! After a lengthy trek, the guys of Abingdon Boys School commandeer the top spot for the first time! Not only that, they bookend the Countdown as their new video debuted this week at #20. Best New Artist? Look out, Daughtry! It was quite the battle, but congratulations to our new #1!
Well, that is all for this week. Can J-Rock dominate again next week with Abingdon Boys School topping the chart again? Or will Yui record her third #1 video of the calander year? Or can Maroon 5 bounce back and make it a month at the top? Don’t forget Foxxi MisQ and UGK waiting in the wings to take the crown. Tune in next week, peeps! Until then, stay up!
Chachi Out.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday...The Taint Of The Work Week.
I’m back, fishes! It’s a rather brisk Wednesday and you know what that means, don’t you? It’s time for a special edition of…
Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood!
This Week: “Live Free or Die Hard”
So last night I caught the premire of “Live Free or Die Hard”. Well, normally I would give the pros and cons of a movie at this point. I skipped that with Ratatouille because it was that good and I have to say…I am going to do the same thing here. This movie kicked ASS.
It had jokes, action, explosions and an excellent and relevant (Albeit a TAD farfetched, but so is a movie about a rat chef and a man with spider powers) plot. There were moments where belief had to be suspended but DUH it’s Die Hard. Have you SEEN the series? It is to be expected. The biggest surprise was the acting. Everyone was awesome and aside from “Ratatouille” and “Knocked Up” this was the best cast work of the summer so far. Bruce Willis was bad ass (yet got his ass KICKED) as John McLane was the best action hero of the summer in a movie based in this century (Leonidus, fool!) while Justin Long was on an “Accepted” level of funny. He has finally shook that annoying ass Apple kid stigma from me. Oh, and all the hacking? Done on PC’s because no one GIVES A FUCK ABOUT APPLE! Just had to get that out.
The only bad part about the movie is mostly a nitpick but there were some action sequences that made you say “That could happen but…c’moooooooon”. It is one thing for obviously stylized action but to have action based in reality that doesn’t end like it should (Firing 21-24 shots from one 9mm clip, the truck sequence which scientifically COULD happen but fucking WOULDN’T happen) can be a distraction. Unlike “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer” where things happened that scientifically should have like…ended life in London as we know it (When the river drained into the earth’s core…shouldn’t there have been an explosion? At least some steam?!) this wasn’t as much of a damper on the movie. They happened so quickly unless you are looking for it you will miss it.
Overall this was (surprisingly) the best movie of the summer. The action was great, the dialog was funny and the effects and stunts were bad ass. Combine all three and you have what a summer movie should be. I am just as shocked as you are. So, Master Chief Captain Chachi gives “Live Free or Die Hard”…
10 Out of 10 Stars!
(Wow. If you want to see a big summer blockbuster, surprisingly this is it. Great action, funny dialog and some of the best sequences of the year this side of Sparta. Go see this right now! Yippie ki-yay, motherfucker!)
Well, that is all for now. The Countdown is up tomorrow and I am still feeling shitty (sore throat, a slight headache and exausted but nowhere near as bad as yesterday) so there may be another update as I do NOT want to give others what I have if I have something. Well, it is almost Miller Time so I will be back soon. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood!
This Week: “Live Free or Die Hard”
So last night I caught the premire of “Live Free or Die Hard”. Well, normally I would give the pros and cons of a movie at this point. I skipped that with Ratatouille because it was that good and I have to say…I am going to do the same thing here. This movie kicked ASS.
It had jokes, action, explosions and an excellent and relevant (Albeit a TAD farfetched, but so is a movie about a rat chef and a man with spider powers) plot. There were moments where belief had to be suspended but DUH it’s Die Hard. Have you SEEN the series? It is to be expected. The biggest surprise was the acting. Everyone was awesome and aside from “Ratatouille” and “Knocked Up” this was the best cast work of the summer so far. Bruce Willis was bad ass (yet got his ass KICKED) as John McLane was the best action hero of the summer in a movie based in this century (Leonidus, fool!) while Justin Long was on an “Accepted” level of funny. He has finally shook that annoying ass Apple kid stigma from me. Oh, and all the hacking? Done on PC’s because no one GIVES A FUCK ABOUT APPLE! Just had to get that out.
The only bad part about the movie is mostly a nitpick but there were some action sequences that made you say “That could happen but…c’moooooooon”. It is one thing for obviously stylized action but to have action based in reality that doesn’t end like it should (Firing 21-24 shots from one 9mm clip, the truck sequence which scientifically COULD happen but fucking WOULDN’T happen) can be a distraction. Unlike “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer” where things happened that scientifically should have like…ended life in London as we know it (When the river drained into the earth’s core…shouldn’t there have been an explosion? At least some steam?!) this wasn’t as much of a damper on the movie. They happened so quickly unless you are looking for it you will miss it.
Overall this was (surprisingly) the best movie of the summer. The action was great, the dialog was funny and the effects and stunts were bad ass. Combine all three and you have what a summer movie should be. I am just as shocked as you are. So, Master Chief Captain Chachi gives “Live Free or Die Hard”…
10 Out of 10 Stars!
(Wow. If you want to see a big summer blockbuster, surprisingly this is it. Great action, funny dialog and some of the best sequences of the year this side of Sparta. Go see this right now! Yippie ki-yay, motherfucker!)
Well, that is all for now. The Countdown is up tomorrow and I am still feeling shitty (sore throat, a slight headache and exausted but nowhere near as bad as yesterday) so there may be another update as I do NOT want to give others what I have if I have something. Well, it is almost Miller Time so I will be back soon. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Live Free Or Die Hard? Hmm...Sounds Bro-tastic!
Wow, I totally feel like crap right now. My cube neighbor was sick last week and I think he gave me a going away gift. At least he didn’t give me scotch and go to town. Got to look at the bright side of life and all. Oh, and DayQuil tastes like ASS. After that horrible taste, this stuff better fricking work.
1. So last night was the BET Music Awards. Which I missed and didn’t care. I’m sure you guys forgot, too.
2. Erect nipples on a man…I guess that is a faux paus I didn’t know about. Not my fault the A/C is on in here.
3. There is NO NEED for the speed limit in a school zone to be 20 mph. Kids have their own channels, their own meals and now a speed limit? If you can’t use a crosswalk, you have bigger problems than speeding cars.
4. The “Transformers the Movie” soundtrack in the 1980’s had hard rockers like Megadeath, White Lion and Stan Bush (YOU’VE GOT THE POW-URRR!). The leadoff single for this years Transformers movie? Goo Goo Dolls. Bullshit! They could have at LEAST got Kenny Loggins! Have you heard the new Transformers theme? It sounds like Coldplay threw up on Radiohead and let Enya clean it up. Man, the soundtrack is totally not “teh rawk”.
5. The iPhone will rock…your wallet. $100 for 1000+ minutes? That doesn’t make sense. That doesn’t even INCLUDE the internet or any other services (I think, that could change but I doubt it). All I can say is “No, don’t! BROOOOOOO!”
6. Man, remember back when in the summer all the good video games came out? Not anymore. I understand the holiday season is the cash cow but come on, game companies. Summer is when kids get jobs, they have time when they aint working and the last thing they want to do is something constructive. With gas high and temperatures higher, they really should think about pumping out 2 or three mega-titles in the summer. It is an untapped market. Hell, movies do it! You think Spiderman 3 would have pulled $330 million plus during September?!
7. On the sports tip, do NOT be surprised if K.G. or Kobe (or BOTH) end up in the East. I don’t think the teams have the money but the NBA knows that Boston, New York and (to a lesser extent) Chicago are their money cities and a successful team there helps the whole league. With the two best picks going West and teams only getting better out there, don’t be surprised to see a mass exodus to the East like there was to the West in the 90’s (Barkley, Shaq, Kidd are a few examples) soon. I know none of you are NBA fans, but some power players in the East may pique my interest again.
8. I just spent almost 2 hours at the comic book store discussing the scientific inaccuracies of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and how much Marvel Comics is no fun now. Eh, I’m a nerd but it was the most fun I have had at lunch since Kimmy left. Can’t believe she left me.
9. I look good. I mean seriously. If I weren’t me, I would be all over me! Hell, I am me and I am TOTALLY all over me! Why yes, I AM wearing Bugle Boy jeans. And they look HAWT.
10. Man…Fiddy is officially part silverback. This is not a statement of race; this is a statement of ugly. And Curtis Jackson looks like he got beat with an ugly mace. The man is swole, I will give you that. But the question is ladies: are you into interspecies erotica? If you are in to 50 Cent, you are into simian love. I’m just saying. The Rabilla strikes:
A silverback with opposable thumbs? Wow, he must be the missing link. Mush mouthed, meat-faced cretin. I kid, people!
And that is what I have learned so far this week. I should be back tomorrow for a special Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood and the Top 20 Video Countdown on Friday. The movie review may wait until Saturday/Sunday if I go to Denver and see “Sicko” on Friday. I’m poor, so the odds of that are slim. Until next time, stay up peeps!
Oh, and Power Rangers was RACIST!
Slave master Zordon! Why the Black man got to have a gun and breakdance? Bullshit!
Chachi Out.
1. So last night was the BET Music Awards. Which I missed and didn’t care. I’m sure you guys forgot, too.
2. Erect nipples on a man…I guess that is a faux paus I didn’t know about. Not my fault the A/C is on in here.
3. There is NO NEED for the speed limit in a school zone to be 20 mph. Kids have their own channels, their own meals and now a speed limit? If you can’t use a crosswalk, you have bigger problems than speeding cars.
4. The “Transformers the Movie” soundtrack in the 1980’s had hard rockers like Megadeath, White Lion and Stan Bush (YOU’VE GOT THE POW-URRR!). The leadoff single for this years Transformers movie? Goo Goo Dolls. Bullshit! They could have at LEAST got Kenny Loggins! Have you heard the new Transformers theme? It sounds like Coldplay threw up on Radiohead and let Enya clean it up. Man, the soundtrack is totally not “teh rawk”.
5. The iPhone will rock…your wallet. $100 for 1000+ minutes? That doesn’t make sense. That doesn’t even INCLUDE the internet or any other services (I think, that could change but I doubt it). All I can say is “No, don’t! BROOOOOOO!”
6. Man, remember back when in the summer all the good video games came out? Not anymore. I understand the holiday season is the cash cow but come on, game companies. Summer is when kids get jobs, they have time when they aint working and the last thing they want to do is something constructive. With gas high and temperatures higher, they really should think about pumping out 2 or three mega-titles in the summer. It is an untapped market. Hell, movies do it! You think Spiderman 3 would have pulled $330 million plus during September?!
7. On the sports tip, do NOT be surprised if K.G. or Kobe (or BOTH) end up in the East. I don’t think the teams have the money but the NBA knows that Boston, New York and (to a lesser extent) Chicago are their money cities and a successful team there helps the whole league. With the two best picks going West and teams only getting better out there, don’t be surprised to see a mass exodus to the East like there was to the West in the 90’s (Barkley, Shaq, Kidd are a few examples) soon. I know none of you are NBA fans, but some power players in the East may pique my interest again.
8. I just spent almost 2 hours at the comic book store discussing the scientific inaccuracies of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and how much Marvel Comics is no fun now. Eh, I’m a nerd but it was the most fun I have had at lunch since Kimmy left. Can’t believe she left me.
9. I look good. I mean seriously. If I weren’t me, I would be all over me! Hell, I am me and I am TOTALLY all over me! Why yes, I AM wearing Bugle Boy jeans. And they look HAWT.
10. Man…Fiddy is officially part silverback. This is not a statement of race; this is a statement of ugly. And Curtis Jackson looks like he got beat with an ugly mace. The man is swole, I will give you that. But the question is ladies: are you into interspecies erotica? If you are in to 50 Cent, you are into simian love. I’m just saying. The Rabilla strikes:
A silverback with opposable thumbs? Wow, he must be the missing link. Mush mouthed, meat-faced cretin. I kid, people!
And that is what I have learned so far this week. I should be back tomorrow for a special Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood and the Top 20 Video Countdown on Friday. The movie review may wait until Saturday/Sunday if I go to Denver and see “Sicko” on Friday. I’m poor, so the odds of that are slim. Until next time, stay up peeps!
Oh, and Power Rangers was RACIST!
Slave master Zordon! Why the Black man got to have a gun and breakdance? Bullshit!
Chachi Out.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Wow. I Really Dont Have The Words Right Now...
My heart has officially been ripped out. Damn, I want to go home now. May mean nothing to you, but this turns my world upside down. I honestly looked up to Chris Benoit like a hero...an idol. Reports are still saying "theory" and it still just doesnt make sense. However, if it is what it is then all I can say is I'm heartbroken, stunned and disappointed. I never would have imagined ANYTHING like this from Chris. I didnt know him personally, but I find it hard to believe that how he felt about Daniel and Nancy was and "act" and he was violent. I just...I just dont know what to say right now.
As Ron Simmons would say....
DAMN.
(Update: It is starting to settle in now. Sometimes...people werent what you thought they were. Still hurts to think about it, though)
As Ron Simmons would say....
DAMN.
(Update: It is starting to settle in now. Sometimes...people werent what you thought they were. Still hurts to think about it, though)
All Filler, No Vitamins.
Heh, I guess Tom will HAVE to sue them in England:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/25/cruise.germany.reut/index.html
Tally so far:
Germany: 2 (Hate them all you want, they are down with The Hoff)
Tom Cruise: 1 (Sorry, I liked "Risky Business")
You know, I really kind of want to see “Valkyrie”, sad to say. It has Kenneth Branagh (who rates as one of the greatest movie villains EVER with his portrayal of Ra's Al Ghul in "Batman Begins") and Bryan Singer as director who did the first two X-Men and Superman Returns which kind of got a bad rap, including from yours truly. In retrospect the problem is that it was trying to be a retelling of the origin when it should have been a sequel to the second movie. That and he had no villain, to which I say boo but true. It’s hard to write a foe about a man that beat the crap out of an angel (Asmodel) and reversed the Earths’ rotation, as lame as it was.
Deathstroke The Terminator or "Slade" to you Teen Titan fans (and maybe Metallo)
+
Krytonite being used as a fuel alternative (This could be where Metallo comes in to play)
+
A cameo by the Green Arrow (For a human touch because getting Batman for this wouldn’t happen)
+
Lex for Governor! (Rather than president. Have him working for that at the end, sets up a kick ass sequel with Darkseid. Yeah, I have thought this out.)
=
Happy Action Fun Time!
See, making movies isn’t rocket science. If Tarentino can do it, I sure as hell can.
Well, that is all for now. Hopefully, the first season of Megas XLR will be downloaded by the time I get home. Because we all know that chicks dig giant robots. No they don’t, that is why I’m watching it by myself:
Wha-eva! Giant robots 4 life! Transformers in 7 days!
Chachi, Transform and Roll Out!
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/25/cruise.germany.reut/index.html
Tally so far:
Germany: 2 (Hate them all you want, they are down with The Hoff)
Tom Cruise: 1 (Sorry, I liked "Risky Business")
You know, I really kind of want to see “Valkyrie”, sad to say. It has Kenneth Branagh (who rates as one of the greatest movie villains EVER with his portrayal of Ra's Al Ghul in "Batman Begins") and Bryan Singer as director who did the first two X-Men and Superman Returns which kind of got a bad rap, including from yours truly. In retrospect the problem is that it was trying to be a retelling of the origin when it should have been a sequel to the second movie. That and he had no villain, to which I say boo but true. It’s hard to write a foe about a man that beat the crap out of an angel (Asmodel) and reversed the Earths’ rotation, as lame as it was.
Deathstroke The Terminator or "Slade" to you Teen Titan fans (and maybe Metallo)
+
Krytonite being used as a fuel alternative (This could be where Metallo comes in to play)
+
A cameo by the Green Arrow (For a human touch because getting Batman for this wouldn’t happen)
+
Lex for Governor! (Rather than president. Have him working for that at the end, sets up a kick ass sequel with Darkseid. Yeah, I have thought this out.)
=
Happy Action Fun Time!
See, making movies isn’t rocket science. If Tarentino can do it, I sure as hell can.
Well, that is all for now. Hopefully, the first season of Megas XLR will be downloaded by the time I get home. Because we all know that chicks dig giant robots. No they don’t, that is why I’m watching it by myself:
Wha-eva! Giant robots 4 life! Transformers in 7 days!
Chachi, Transform and Roll Out!
Monday, June 25, 2007
Rest In Peace, Chris Benoit (May 21, 1967 - June 25, 2007)
No blog today, just a post to honor for one of my favorite wrestlers of all time. Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy and their son Daniel were found dead in their Atlanta, Georgia home last night. Rather than a post, I just want to say thank you, Chris. Thank you for the memories and most of all thank you for Wrestlemania XX. You earned it. 
For 22 years of memories, again I thank you.
Chris Benoit, you will be missed.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
This Post Was Edited With...A PC.
What is up, peeps? It is Sunday and it is time for a weekly wrap up! First off, it is time for yet another double-header edition of…
Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood!
Evan Almighty & 1408
So on Friday night because nothing else was out, Zach and I went to see Evan Almighty. As one who didn’t see Bruce Almighty in the theaters I wasn’t really a fan of the movie. Except for Morgan Freeman being God. I bought him more than George Burns. That is not a knock on “Oh God! You Devil!” I am just saying. The man is 308 and still kicking. Anyway, after watching the movie there was some good, some bad and a whole lot of God.
The movie was funny (in parts) but there really isn’t much you can do with Noah, seeing as the story is straightforward. You build an ark, animals get on it, that’s pretty much all there is to it. However, what saved this movie were the individual performances.
Steve Carell is a lot better a character actor than he lets on. Much like in The Office or 40 year Old Virgin I believe that all his roles are in some way an extension of himself. That may not show range, but for the role it was spot on. He never was an unlikable character, which is what Jim Carrey was in the first one. The scope is different (Bruce was given the powers of God while Evan was given the powers of…Noah) which played a role of course but despite the lack of depth to Evan, it worked for the purpose. Meanwhile, Wanda Sykes and Jonah Hill were funny in their roles and John Goodman invokd the spirit of Walter for his role as the evil Congressman Long.
However, all told the sum of the performances don’t equal a great movie. The combined roles didn’t make the movie totally enjoyable because the plot just…happened. He makes a prayer, God answers, he builds a boat, animals do funny things, climax with CGI, ending with a moral (literally). I know that is what is SUPPOSED to happen but there could have been more fun to it. The movie kind of just happened.
Nowhere NEAR as funny as the other major comedy of the summer (Knocked Up) and isn’t even in the same league as the most rockingest movie ever (ATHFCMFFT) in the hilarity department. All that being said it wasn’t a bad movie. Just not a summer blockbuster and not as funny as I would expect from the combined cast. Worth a watch as a matinee, though. The Chachi gives this movie…
6.5 Out of 10!
(The movie is by the numbers, but it IS by the numbers and funny. Don’t expect any side-splitting humor (like Shrek 3) or a fun family thrill ride (like Ratatouille) but it is a very enjoyable movie.)
So after a little disappointment (I didn’t HATE the movie, I was just expecting a lot more from the cast) I went to see 1408 on Saturday afternoon and first off I must say that anything with Samuel L. Jackson starts off with 5 motherfucking stars. Seeing the trailers, I was expecting “The Sixth Sense” meets “The Ring” minus the goodness of the previous and multiplying the suck of the latter. Yet…I was pleasantly surprised in retrospect.
This may have been a case of expecting nothing and getting something so you are more satisfied. Which may be true but this movie was pretty enjoyable. I can put this as the top horror/suspense/thriller of the summer without even seeing Grindhouse or Hostel 2 (and I never fucking will) just based on the story. Now there were parts left dangling like Don Rickles’s neck fat (What brought on the change in his writing style, his original book, all the property damage to the room that happened throughout the movie makes no sense) but a lot of that is just nit-picking on my end.
At the end of the day, John Cusack actually did a great job showing the mental breakdown that room 1408 could cause someone. Even though he does kind of go all over the place, that is kind of what the story and role entails. Sammy J, although he has a short time on screen gets his role across early and sets the tone of “maybe he SHOULDN’T do this” right from the get go. The movie is paced excellently (when he hits rock bottom is when he finally breaks through) and the ending is interesting to say the least.
Overall, it was a good movie. A good weekend matinee and so far the best movie if you are looking for any kind of summer tense-fest. I didn’t jump ONCE and it wasn’t scary as much as it was kind of tense. Worth checking out, if for nothing than to hear Sammy J yell “It’s a motherfucking fire!” The Chachi give “1408”
7.5 Out of 10 Stars!
(Your best bet so far if you are looking for some suspense filled summer fun. The plot is a bit disjointed to say the least but the ending once you think about it leaves you vindicated after the jacked up trip the movie itself is. Nowhere near as bad as it had the chance to be, actually enjoyable.)
So I have my new computer ALMOST up and running. I had to get new speakers (the sub was sounding funny and only two worked so it was about time anyway. Six years is a LONG TIME) and a new DVD Burner but aside from that all my stuff is up and running. My hard drive wont fit STILL but I was prepared for that. My software is all up and installed and despite what I have heard, I have had no problems with Windows Vista. As a matter of fact, I like it a little better than Windows XP. If people went to Apple because of Vista you are a mouthbreather because it is easy to use and simple to navigate if you used Windows ME (Which sucked depending on who you ask. I had it and had no issues with it but to each their own) or have two brain cells to rub together. Let me address some complaints people have told me while I was out (I had a lengthy discussion about Vista at Best Buy yesterday while waiting for Nolan to get off work). It is now time for a new installment of Passion of Chachi!
Chachi’s Tech Talk!
This Week: Windows Vista
Problem #1: It’s Slow!
Well I heard that from three people at Best Buy bitching about how they liked XP better. I asked all of them how much memory they had. They all said one gig. Well, if you know anything about computer you know that memory is your resource that your computer draws from to complete/run tasks. Your processor POWERS the computer but the memory lets it do stuff. If you think one gig should do you then you are an r-tard. I mean it sucks but new tech calls for more resources. Just the way it is. I have 2Gb of memory and I am kicking ass and taking names. Hell, I found a place to get 1GB chips for $35 so for about $70 I will have 4GB of memory and I will be good to go for a bit. So if you are out there running Vista on 1Gb of memory then you deserve to run slow because YOU ARE SLOW.
Problem #2: It’s Confusing!
Yeah, initially it is. I was lost when I first booted up (Took me a minute to put in my sound card and needless to say I was pissed off for a while) but after a while you realize that nothing much has changed. If you have been running any version of Windows (which 90% of you have I guarantee have) over the last 15 years then you know what to do. Not only that, it has a pretty convincing Classic view that can alleviate those that fear change. Once you tinker around with it, you get a pretty good feel for it and I like how the taskbar shows a preview of what is in the window. This is a legit gripe but all OS releases ARE confusing when they come out until you get through it.
Problem #3: All Those Warnings! I Can’t Do Anything!
You can turn them off, shut up. Those you can’t have ALWAYS been in Windows and they are on Macs, too.
Problem #4: Nothing Works!
Well, I installed 8 programs, codecs and clients on my computer and you know what? All of them work. If you want to run “Hello Kittys Summer Adventure Island” that ran on Windows 98 it might not work. All the components I have added (firewire, Soundblaster, DVD burner) work just fine as well. Not sure what people are adding or if you are familiar with what the hell you are doing but for the most part it is plug and play. Besides, nothing works on an OS when it is released! Once again, after a few months all the patches and updates are released and everything is alright.
For the most part, if you have used Windows in the past you can navigate Vista. If you can’t, read a book or tinker with it. It is kind of idiot proof so you have to really try to fuck it up.
Well, I have to run and do some errands for work tomorrow. I do have one thing to talk about quickly. Not many of you know who Emyli is, but she was on that m-Flo and Diggy-Mo song “Dopamine”:
And on “Loop In My Heart: with M-Flo and Yoshika:
Like I said a while back, she can WORK a skirt. Well, she recently turned 18 (last year actually) and she has officially become a woman:
All I can say is DAMN. Just…DAMN. I really wish she would wear more clothes (not everyone NEEDS to be Kumi Koda) but I really cant complain because she is damn fine. DAMN FINE. She has so grown up…I think I am going to cry. Oh, and Crystal Kay is creeping up on Yuna Ito levels of perfection:
I have so missed you, baby. I will sleep well tonight. There should be a special edition of Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood this Thursday as I think I will see “Live Free or Die Hard” Wednesday night. Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out.
Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood!
Evan Almighty & 1408
So on Friday night because nothing else was out, Zach and I went to see Evan Almighty. As one who didn’t see Bruce Almighty in the theaters I wasn’t really a fan of the movie. Except for Morgan Freeman being God. I bought him more than George Burns. That is not a knock on “Oh God! You Devil!” I am just saying. The man is 308 and still kicking. Anyway, after watching the movie there was some good, some bad and a whole lot of God.
The movie was funny (in parts) but there really isn’t much you can do with Noah, seeing as the story is straightforward. You build an ark, animals get on it, that’s pretty much all there is to it. However, what saved this movie were the individual performances.
Steve Carell is a lot better a character actor than he lets on. Much like in The Office or 40 year Old Virgin I believe that all his roles are in some way an extension of himself. That may not show range, but for the role it was spot on. He never was an unlikable character, which is what Jim Carrey was in the first one. The scope is different (Bruce was given the powers of God while Evan was given the powers of…Noah) which played a role of course but despite the lack of depth to Evan, it worked for the purpose. Meanwhile, Wanda Sykes and Jonah Hill were funny in their roles and John Goodman invokd the spirit of Walter for his role as the evil Congressman Long.
However, all told the sum of the performances don’t equal a great movie. The combined roles didn’t make the movie totally enjoyable because the plot just…happened. He makes a prayer, God answers, he builds a boat, animals do funny things, climax with CGI, ending with a moral (literally). I know that is what is SUPPOSED to happen but there could have been more fun to it. The movie kind of just happened.
Nowhere NEAR as funny as the other major comedy of the summer (Knocked Up) and isn’t even in the same league as the most rockingest movie ever (ATHFCMFFT) in the hilarity department. All that being said it wasn’t a bad movie. Just not a summer blockbuster and not as funny as I would expect from the combined cast. Worth a watch as a matinee, though. The Chachi gives this movie…
6.5 Out of 10!
(The movie is by the numbers, but it IS by the numbers and funny. Don’t expect any side-splitting humor (like Shrek 3) or a fun family thrill ride (like Ratatouille) but it is a very enjoyable movie.)
So after a little disappointment (I didn’t HATE the movie, I was just expecting a lot more from the cast) I went to see 1408 on Saturday afternoon and first off I must say that anything with Samuel L. Jackson starts off with 5 motherfucking stars. Seeing the trailers, I was expecting “The Sixth Sense” meets “The Ring” minus the goodness of the previous and multiplying the suck of the latter. Yet…I was pleasantly surprised in retrospect.
This may have been a case of expecting nothing and getting something so you are more satisfied. Which may be true but this movie was pretty enjoyable. I can put this as the top horror/suspense/thriller of the summer without even seeing Grindhouse or Hostel 2 (and I never fucking will) just based on the story. Now there were parts left dangling like Don Rickles’s neck fat (What brought on the change in his writing style, his original book, all the property damage to the room that happened throughout the movie makes no sense) but a lot of that is just nit-picking on my end.
At the end of the day, John Cusack actually did a great job showing the mental breakdown that room 1408 could cause someone. Even though he does kind of go all over the place, that is kind of what the story and role entails. Sammy J, although he has a short time on screen gets his role across early and sets the tone of “maybe he SHOULDN’T do this” right from the get go. The movie is paced excellently (when he hits rock bottom is when he finally breaks through) and the ending is interesting to say the least.
Overall, it was a good movie. A good weekend matinee and so far the best movie if you are looking for any kind of summer tense-fest. I didn’t jump ONCE and it wasn’t scary as much as it was kind of tense. Worth checking out, if for nothing than to hear Sammy J yell “It’s a motherfucking fire!” The Chachi give “1408”
7.5 Out of 10 Stars!
(Your best bet so far if you are looking for some suspense filled summer fun. The plot is a bit disjointed to say the least but the ending once you think about it leaves you vindicated after the jacked up trip the movie itself is. Nowhere near as bad as it had the chance to be, actually enjoyable.)
So I have my new computer ALMOST up and running. I had to get new speakers (the sub was sounding funny and only two worked so it was about time anyway. Six years is a LONG TIME) and a new DVD Burner but aside from that all my stuff is up and running. My hard drive wont fit STILL but I was prepared for that. My software is all up and installed and despite what I have heard, I have had no problems with Windows Vista. As a matter of fact, I like it a little better than Windows XP. If people went to Apple because of Vista you are a mouthbreather because it is easy to use and simple to navigate if you used Windows ME (Which sucked depending on who you ask. I had it and had no issues with it but to each their own) or have two brain cells to rub together. Let me address some complaints people have told me while I was out (I had a lengthy discussion about Vista at Best Buy yesterday while waiting for Nolan to get off work). It is now time for a new installment of Passion of Chachi!
Chachi’s Tech Talk!
This Week: Windows Vista
Problem #1: It’s Slow!
Well I heard that from three people at Best Buy bitching about how they liked XP better. I asked all of them how much memory they had. They all said one gig. Well, if you know anything about computer you know that memory is your resource that your computer draws from to complete/run tasks. Your processor POWERS the computer but the memory lets it do stuff. If you think one gig should do you then you are an r-tard. I mean it sucks but new tech calls for more resources. Just the way it is. I have 2Gb of memory and I am kicking ass and taking names. Hell, I found a place to get 1GB chips for $35 so for about $70 I will have 4GB of memory and I will be good to go for a bit. So if you are out there running Vista on 1Gb of memory then you deserve to run slow because YOU ARE SLOW.
Problem #2: It’s Confusing!
Yeah, initially it is. I was lost when I first booted up (Took me a minute to put in my sound card and needless to say I was pissed off for a while) but after a while you realize that nothing much has changed. If you have been running any version of Windows (which 90% of you have I guarantee have) over the last 15 years then you know what to do. Not only that, it has a pretty convincing Classic view that can alleviate those that fear change. Once you tinker around with it, you get a pretty good feel for it and I like how the taskbar shows a preview of what is in the window. This is a legit gripe but all OS releases ARE confusing when they come out until you get through it.
Problem #3: All Those Warnings! I Can’t Do Anything!
You can turn them off, shut up. Those you can’t have ALWAYS been in Windows and they are on Macs, too.
Problem #4: Nothing Works!
Well, I installed 8 programs, codecs and clients on my computer and you know what? All of them work. If you want to run “Hello Kittys Summer Adventure Island” that ran on Windows 98 it might not work. All the components I have added (firewire, Soundblaster, DVD burner) work just fine as well. Not sure what people are adding or if you are familiar with what the hell you are doing but for the most part it is plug and play. Besides, nothing works on an OS when it is released! Once again, after a few months all the patches and updates are released and everything is alright.
For the most part, if you have used Windows in the past you can navigate Vista. If you can’t, read a book or tinker with it. It is kind of idiot proof so you have to really try to fuck it up.
Well, I have to run and do some errands for work tomorrow. I do have one thing to talk about quickly. Not many of you know who Emyli is, but she was on that m-Flo and Diggy-Mo song “Dopamine”:
And on “Loop In My Heart: with M-Flo and Yoshika:
Like I said a while back, she can WORK a skirt. Well, she recently turned 18 (last year actually) and she has officially become a woman:
All I can say is DAMN. Just…DAMN. I really wish she would wear more clothes (not everyone NEEDS to be Kumi Koda) but I really cant complain because she is damn fine. DAMN FINE. She has so grown up…I think I am going to cry. Oh, and Crystal Kay is creeping up on Yuna Ito levels of perfection:
I have so missed you, baby. I will sleep well tonight. There should be a special edition of Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood this Thursday as I think I will see “Live Free or Die Hard” Wednesday night. Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Due To Some Technical Difficulties, Programming Will Be Reshuffled.
What is up, peeps! It is a HOT ASS THURSDAY here in the CSP and I have something special for you today. I picked up my computer yesterday from FedEx (after getting lost…I’ll tell you about it if you want to know but it is embarrassing) and I am in the process of some troubleshooting on my old motherboard and drives to make sure they are operational. Anyone who is looking for CPU parts let me know. I’ll list what I have after I see what works and I can keep.
Anyway, odds are I will be doing the changeover on Friday evening and seeing “Evan Almighty” Friday night so the Top 20 Video Countdown will be postponed. Until right now! Here it is, a day early!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We get started this week with a new entry!
20. AI – I’ll Remember You (New Entry)
Welcome back! It has been a LONG ASS TIME since I have had some AI to listen to! To make it up to me, she gave me two videos. I like “Brand New Day” a tad more than “I’ll Remember You” because it is happy. Quite the underrated summer jam if I say so myself.
19. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #16)
So um…yeah I have put up the remix with Lil Mama on it. All I can say is that it wasn’t mind-numbingly bad. It was not great, don’t get it twisted. It could have been a lot worse. Doesn’t help this week, as this video falls three more spots to the bottom of the Countdown. So odds are, it will be the last time you see it. Yaaaay, me!
18. M-Flo feat. Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (Last Week #15)
After holding on for two and a half months and not reaching the Top 10, M-Flo and Her Fineness Crystal Kay falls a big three places this week. Crystal Kay has a new album coming in soon (TODAY!) and VERBAL has a new song with Emyli (who knows how to work a skirt, I tell you what) so they shouldn’t be gone for too much longer.
17. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #20)
First Crystal Kay, now Foxxi MisQ. This day aint so bad after all! Their album should be here in July and I must say I cannot wait! Their singles have been awesome (“Alive” may have made more men out of boys than Kumi Koda’s “Juicy”. Juicy got ‘em crazy!) so the album should be well worth the wait. Oh, and they’s hot. Just had to mention that.
16. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #13, one week at #1)
NOOOOOOOOOOO! Yui falls three more spots this week with this video. So I got the live performance of this song (I think it was Music Station but I am not sure) in Hi-Def and all I can say is that she is so cute! If Mandy Moore played acoustic guitar (Oh wow…I think my heart just stopped) that would be the only thing cuter. Holding a kitten singing the Care Bears song wouldn’t hurt.
15. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #18)
So I still can’t find any episodes of the show this song is from. That kind of sucks, because it looks totally bad ass. At least I have this video to tide me over. Oh, and its nice to hear the rocked out Gackt. Love the ballads but sometimes you just wanna see the hawtest man in music cut loose.
14. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (Last Week #17)
So Enrique and Ricky Martin are NOT THE SAME PERSON? Wow…my world has been turned totally topsy-turvy. Well, guess it fits. Ricky could never do a song and video like this. That and Ricky sometimes reminds me of The Creeper on the Animated Adventures of Batman & Robin. Look at him, its true!
13. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #9)
God…I really don’t like Tag body spray. You know, not even because of the commercials anymore (they kind of run together so I can ignore them) or the bro usage. That stuff SMELLS LIKE SHIT. I mean Axe has…one good scent (Phoenix has a subtle smell to it) but all Tag smells like locker room. And if there is one place I really don’t need to go back to, its high school.
12. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #14)
So…um…I like Fergie’s new song. SHUT UP! Its not about her because she is obviously a man, but “Big Girls Don’t Cry” is surprisingly not crappy. Makes up for Fergalisious or whatever it was called. Oh, and Daddy Yankee has yet to disappoint me in the video and song department. DAH-DEE YAN-KAY!
11. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #12)
Hyde and the boys are one step away from their first Top 10! This video has always been cool but the song used to be kind of average until a few listens and now I like it a lot. Its no “Fourth Avenue Café” but few (as in no) songs are. We have made it to the Top 10!
10. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #7, Four weeks at #1)
We begin the top half with a video that held the Countdown on lock for a month in May and is now making a slow decent, landing at #10. Havent heard much new from these guys and Naruto had a break this week (BOOOOOO!) so a new episode should be out Friday. Come on, the heroes need a comeback!
9. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #10)
So T.I. has a SECOND video! I just saw it last night while I was transferring files to my back up drive and it isn’t TOO bad. It is the simple hip hop video fare (to which I say boo to that) but once again…it’s T.I. so I will let that slide for a while. They all can’t be “What You Know”.
8. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #4, One week at #1)
I cry on the inside. AND THE OUTSIDE! My baby boo falls four big spots this week and out of the Top Five for the first time since May! She has a new video and a rumored album in August but I need to verify that. Because…you know…I think she is quite the special and I need to be first to have it. Still cant find episode 2 of “Unfair” either. Dammit.
7. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #11, Biggest Mover)
Andre Three Stacks, Sweet Jones, The King of Trill and Daddy Fat Sacks move up four big spots into the Top 10! They have the fastest rising video for the second straight week and rightfully so. Four verses, four different styles and yet they all mesh together. And Pimp-C surfs on a beat like Kelly Slater. Seriously, he puts in work.
6. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #2)
After coming one step away from standing on top, Rascal Flats falls four spots to #6. This video has fallen (sadly) out of the rotation and when are they coming out with a new damn album?! Prince has a new album every other day! Although…Prince is Prince. We have now entered the Top 5!
5. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #8)
Did it just get hot in here? Of course it did! Foxxi Misq has their first ever Top 5 video with this little ditty. Yeah, I know they may not be my typical lady, but something about funky fresh dance moves (in an EVENING GOWN no less) and Dem in short shorts make me happy to see this video. I could do without the cars, but it plays in with the theme.
4. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #5)
Well, different day same result. Yui is once again climbing up the mountain in attempt for the #1 video! I got a live performance of this song too and all I can say is that Yui has a pretty good band behind her. This video has grown on me (has a “Rolling Star” quality to it) and hopefully this means a Yui concert special at some point this summer! I can dream, cant I?
3. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #6)
HELL YES! Abingdon Boys School makes a leap into the Top 3 as they attempt for their first #1 ever on their first trip! This video is simple, but the song shines through because of it. Also, I lost all my “Darker Than Black” episodes (FUUUUUUCK) so I have to get them again. I was only on…episode one? It was still good stuff from what I saw. Here is to an Abingdon Boys School album soon!
2. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #3)
Orange Range is one step from the top spot after moving up one place this week! They are tied with Game for the most videos on the Top 20 Video Countdown without a #1 video (Both have had three videos. He’s come close, two #3’s and a #4) and this is as close as they have ever been! Are they up for the challenge? We will have to see!
1. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #1, Three weeks at #1)
Well, it makes me wonder if ANYONE can take these guys down! Maroon 5 tops the chart for the third straight week, taking on nobodyknows+, Rascal Flats and Yuna Ito to defend their crown! This video has taken on all comers and sent them to the briny deep below! The album isn’t too shabby, either. Congratulations, guys!
Well, that is all for today! Tune in on the Countdown’s normal day next Friday to see if Maroon 5 can make it a full month at #1! Or will Orange Range finally secure a Number One video? Or can j-rawk top the Top 20 for the first time since Beat Crusaders with Abingdon Boys School? There are some heavy hitters (Yui and T.I.) along with some newcomers (Foxxi MisQ and UGK) looking to take the crown this summer as well! It should be interesting, stay tuned and see you next Friday!
So I should be back up and running either LAAAAAATE tomorrow night or Saturday afternoon at the latest. I will give an update on how the computer change over went. All I can say is that CompUSA was like Gateway Country except with not as smart or funny employees. We were dicks to customers, but at least we were funny dicks:
“Well, Gateway is one of many computer manufacturers. You chose us…and it looks like a big ass mistake. Sorry but the power is not mine to help you. You thought about Circuit City?”
Man, greatest last day ever. And dammit, I forgot the glitter! As you can see, I suck at customer service, yet did it in some form for seven years. Oh, the irony…
I will be back with an update soon, peeps.
Chachi Out
Anyway, odds are I will be doing the changeover on Friday evening and seeing “Evan Almighty” Friday night so the Top 20 Video Countdown will be postponed. Until right now! Here it is, a day early!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We get started this week with a new entry!
20. AI – I’ll Remember You (New Entry)
Welcome back! It has been a LONG ASS TIME since I have had some AI to listen to! To make it up to me, she gave me two videos. I like “Brand New Day” a tad more than “I’ll Remember You” because it is happy. Quite the underrated summer jam if I say so myself.
19. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #16)
So um…yeah I have put up the remix with Lil Mama on it. All I can say is that it wasn’t mind-numbingly bad. It was not great, don’t get it twisted. It could have been a lot worse. Doesn’t help this week, as this video falls three more spots to the bottom of the Countdown. So odds are, it will be the last time you see it. Yaaaay, me!
18. M-Flo feat. Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (Last Week #15)
After holding on for two and a half months and not reaching the Top 10, M-Flo and Her Fineness Crystal Kay falls a big three places this week. Crystal Kay has a new album coming in soon (TODAY!) and VERBAL has a new song with Emyli (who knows how to work a skirt, I tell you what) so they shouldn’t be gone for too much longer.
17. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #20)
First Crystal Kay, now Foxxi MisQ. This day aint so bad after all! Their album should be here in July and I must say I cannot wait! Their singles have been awesome (“Alive” may have made more men out of boys than Kumi Koda’s “Juicy”. Juicy got ‘em crazy!) so the album should be well worth the wait. Oh, and they’s hot. Just had to mention that.
16. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #13, one week at #1)
NOOOOOOOOOOO! Yui falls three more spots this week with this video. So I got the live performance of this song (I think it was Music Station but I am not sure) in Hi-Def and all I can say is that she is so cute! If Mandy Moore played acoustic guitar (Oh wow…I think my heart just stopped) that would be the only thing cuter. Holding a kitten singing the Care Bears song wouldn’t hurt.
15. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #18)
So I still can’t find any episodes of the show this song is from. That kind of sucks, because it looks totally bad ass. At least I have this video to tide me over. Oh, and its nice to hear the rocked out Gackt. Love the ballads but sometimes you just wanna see the hawtest man in music cut loose.
14. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (Last Week #17)
So Enrique and Ricky Martin are NOT THE SAME PERSON? Wow…my world has been turned totally topsy-turvy. Well, guess it fits. Ricky could never do a song and video like this. That and Ricky sometimes reminds me of The Creeper on the Animated Adventures of Batman & Robin. Look at him, its true!
13. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #9)
God…I really don’t like Tag body spray. You know, not even because of the commercials anymore (they kind of run together so I can ignore them) or the bro usage. That stuff SMELLS LIKE SHIT. I mean Axe has…one good scent (Phoenix has a subtle smell to it) but all Tag smells like locker room. And if there is one place I really don’t need to go back to, its high school.
12. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #14)
So…um…I like Fergie’s new song. SHUT UP! Its not about her because she is obviously a man, but “Big Girls Don’t Cry” is surprisingly not crappy. Makes up for Fergalisious or whatever it was called. Oh, and Daddy Yankee has yet to disappoint me in the video and song department. DAH-DEE YAN-KAY!
11. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #12)
Hyde and the boys are one step away from their first Top 10! This video has always been cool but the song used to be kind of average until a few listens and now I like it a lot. Its no “Fourth Avenue Café” but few (as in no) songs are. We have made it to the Top 10!
10. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #7, Four weeks at #1)
We begin the top half with a video that held the Countdown on lock for a month in May and is now making a slow decent, landing at #10. Havent heard much new from these guys and Naruto had a break this week (BOOOOOO!) so a new episode should be out Friday. Come on, the heroes need a comeback!
9. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #10)
So T.I. has a SECOND video! I just saw it last night while I was transferring files to my back up drive and it isn’t TOO bad. It is the simple hip hop video fare (to which I say boo to that) but once again…it’s T.I. so I will let that slide for a while. They all can’t be “What You Know”.
8. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #4, One week at #1)
I cry on the inside. AND THE OUTSIDE! My baby boo falls four big spots this week and out of the Top Five for the first time since May! She has a new video and a rumored album in August but I need to verify that. Because…you know…I think she is quite the special and I need to be first to have it. Still cant find episode 2 of “Unfair” either. Dammit.
7. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #11, Biggest Mover)
Andre Three Stacks, Sweet Jones, The King of Trill and Daddy Fat Sacks move up four big spots into the Top 10! They have the fastest rising video for the second straight week and rightfully so. Four verses, four different styles and yet they all mesh together. And Pimp-C surfs on a beat like Kelly Slater. Seriously, he puts in work.
6. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #2)
After coming one step away from standing on top, Rascal Flats falls four spots to #6. This video has fallen (sadly) out of the rotation and when are they coming out with a new damn album?! Prince has a new album every other day! Although…Prince is Prince. We have now entered the Top 5!
5. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #8)
Did it just get hot in here? Of course it did! Foxxi Misq has their first ever Top 5 video with this little ditty. Yeah, I know they may not be my typical lady, but something about funky fresh dance moves (in an EVENING GOWN no less) and Dem in short shorts make me happy to see this video. I could do without the cars, but it plays in with the theme.
4. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #5)
Well, different day same result. Yui is once again climbing up the mountain in attempt for the #1 video! I got a live performance of this song too and all I can say is that Yui has a pretty good band behind her. This video has grown on me (has a “Rolling Star” quality to it) and hopefully this means a Yui concert special at some point this summer! I can dream, cant I?
3. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #6)
HELL YES! Abingdon Boys School makes a leap into the Top 3 as they attempt for their first #1 ever on their first trip! This video is simple, but the song shines through because of it. Also, I lost all my “Darker Than Black” episodes (FUUUUUUCK) so I have to get them again. I was only on…episode one? It was still good stuff from what I saw. Here is to an Abingdon Boys School album soon!
2. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #3)
Orange Range is one step from the top spot after moving up one place this week! They are tied with Game for the most videos on the Top 20 Video Countdown without a #1 video (Both have had three videos. He’s come close, two #3’s and a #4) and this is as close as they have ever been! Are they up for the challenge? We will have to see!
1. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #1, Three weeks at #1)
Well, it makes me wonder if ANYONE can take these guys down! Maroon 5 tops the chart for the third straight week, taking on nobodyknows+, Rascal Flats and Yuna Ito to defend their crown! This video has taken on all comers and sent them to the briny deep below! The album isn’t too shabby, either. Congratulations, guys!
Well, that is all for today! Tune in on the Countdown’s normal day next Friday to see if Maroon 5 can make it a full month at #1! Or will Orange Range finally secure a Number One video? Or can j-rawk top the Top 20 for the first time since Beat Crusaders with Abingdon Boys School? There are some heavy hitters (Yui and T.I.) along with some newcomers (Foxxi MisQ and UGK) looking to take the crown this summer as well! It should be interesting, stay tuned and see you next Friday!
So I should be back up and running either LAAAAAATE tomorrow night or Saturday afternoon at the latest. I will give an update on how the computer change over went. All I can say is that CompUSA was like Gateway Country except with not as smart or funny employees. We were dicks to customers, but at least we were funny dicks:
“Well, Gateway is one of many computer manufacturers. You chose us…and it looks like a big ass mistake. Sorry but the power is not mine to help you. You thought about Circuit City?”
Man, greatest last day ever. And dammit, I forgot the glitter! As you can see, I suck at customer service, yet did it in some form for seven years. Oh, the irony…
I will be back with an update soon, peeps.
Chachi Out
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
So...Manhunt Isn't About My Search For Johnny Depp? Shennanigans!
The time has come, peeps. I had a little rant two days ago about video games and our rights as gamers to play the games some deem “offensive”. Well, for the first time in 10 years, a game is being banned in England, much like Tom Cruise sues people there. That place must REALLY suck.
Manhunt 2 has officially been banned for purchase/sale in the United Kingdom (barring an appeal with Rockstar may attempt) and “family rights groups” (which means bible thumping, booby hating, violence decrying aging redneck douches) are attempting to have the same thing happen here in America. To that gamers, we must say the nay no.
First off, I have read the coverage about Manhunt 2. It has a violent premise and is full of graphic killing and sadistic tones.
You know what? It doesn’t matter because odds are the game will end up being crappy. First off, name one game that is violent or offensive just for the sake of being violent and offensive that was any good? Thrill Kill? Anyone even REMEMBER that game aside me? The first Manhunt? Was intriguing for the first 45 minutes to an hour but after stabbing someone with an ice pick for the 8th time it lost its luster because it played like crap and the action was too few and far between. Quite simply, games of this ilk are bad not because of the content, but because of the game itself. These things usually work themselves out, see 2 Live Crew and most crappy horror movies.
Also, I am sick of the hypocrisy of America when it comes to violence. It wasn’t violent when movies in the 80’s (and 70’s) like Body Double and The Godfather were some of the most violent movies ever. I see grisly (and I mean GRISLY) images of the Iraq War on the news every night. Those aren’t pixels on TV; those are real shrapnel shards. Inside those tanks and exploding cars aren’t aliens or robots, they are human beings. There is no reset button for any of those people Gaza. The blood on the streets isn’t gone by the next level. That is REAL violence, yet no one bans the news. No one is stopping the war anytime soon. Last I checked, movies like Grindhouse and Hostel 2 were still in the theaters (and sucking it up, to boot) and those movies have scenes of torture and mutilation. The fact is that video games are held to a double standard by activists groups because video games are seen as a “kids medium” and for the most part kids are too stupid to think for themselves and parents are too “overwhelmed” (which is activist speak for “poor parents” IMHO) to monitor what their children play and see. News flash, people. Games are made for several markets and demographics just like movies, TV shows and music are. Mature rated games like Manhunt 2 aren’t made for kids to start off with. There is nothing about that game that screams “play me” to an 11 year old.
Before you say “the violence is intriguing to young people” I will give the same defense for video games that I give for cigarettes. If your kid is intrigued by a cartoon camel to put smoke in their lungs they aren’t as bright as you think they are because intentionally putting smoke in your lungs at its basic CORE is asinine and shouldn’t be emulated (by following a CAMEL no less). Therefore, if your kid sees a man get stabbed in the chest with a whirring buzz saw and get intrigued then they are not as smart as you believe because at its CORE a buzz saw to the chest is murder and shouldn’t be emulated. If kids aren’t able to separate fiction from reality then they need to be TAUGHT THAT. Banning games that are based in violent and based in FICTION isn’t going to help anything. All you are doing is taking rights away from those that CAN tell fiction from reality to chose whether to play a game that may be Mature or not. I do not accept the argument that banning these games is good for the children as much as I don’t believe that relinquishing civil liberties for my “safety against terrorism” is logical or just. You cannot take away the privileges of the whole for the stupidity of the few.
Now I am not calling all kids stupid and I am not calling all parents worthless. Everyone needs to understand their part in this. No matter how uncomfortable, parents need to take the responsibility to educate their children on what they feel is offensive and set ground rules for their children to abide by to fit that. Kids need to learn that you are not a person until you are 18 (heh). Deal with it, you do what your parents say because USUALLY they are only doing what is best for you. With that being said, it is ALSO a kid’s responsibility to discuss with their parents what they know and how they perceive these kinds of things and parents should make changes as such. There are some kids that do grasp the concept of…well not being an idiot. You don’t do what you see in video games because they are a medium of entertainment. You play them to enjoy, not to reenact them. Parents, at that point your parenting skills come into play. No one knows your kids (OR SHOULD KNOW YOUR KIDS) better than you. If you believe that they are ready to play those types of games, let them with rules. Play it with them first to see what it is about. I guarantee that if parents actually PLAYED Manhunt they would not be upset at the violence as much as upset with not having a camera that worked or not being able to sneak effectively because the AI was jacked. Discuss the game with them and see where their head is at. Let them know that they can’t impale people on walls, back flip slice ninjas, rip the wings off of harpies or fire rocket launchers into a crowd of zombies. If they grasp that, which they should, you know they are ready to partake in the Resident Evil’s and GTA’s of the video game world.
This exchange takes an hour. If you don’t have an hour for your kids, then you shouldn’t have had them until you did. Birth control was plentiful and money shots are always an option if you weren’t ready. Knuckle up and do your damn job. Kids, know your damn role and THINK. If you really get ideas for killing people from Half-Life then you need to not play video games. If you don’t get it, don’t play it because you are messing things up for the rest of us. Keep away from the “Mature” games and play some Surf’s Up or Hello Kitty’s Adventure of Lollipop Island or something until you are mentally ready. Pretty kickass game, if I say so myself.
Lastly, game developers. Next time you have an idea for a game that has graphic violence, nudity, drug use, obscenities, negative religious imagery (which I am all for but that is another story), torture or any other mature theme I want you to ask yourselves these questions:
- Is the eye gouging of the puppy in the Neo-Boston level excessive? I mean its SO CUUUTE!
- Will this be fun? There are 40 levels and only two enemies…and they are palette swaps.
- Does the camera work where it needs to? I mean the players MAY want to see where they LAND WHEN THEY JUMP!
- Are the characters engaging? His name is Steve and he is looking for revenge, but for what? And how did he get the ability to shoot lightning from his wang?!
- Should those chicks be lezzing right now? I mean The Colossus of Rhodes is attacking!
- Hey, does this game need a block button? There are 107 ninjas on the screen at one time and they are all attacking. AND they only have one life with no continues.
These are some simple questions to ask when you are coming up with ideas and programming games. I mean come on, guys. What is the purpose of making sequels to Manhunt, State of Emergency and ANY MORTAL KOMBAT AFTER MKII (although Trilogy had its moments) when no one liked the originals? All that controversy, all that violence and gore and parent bitching to make a game that no one liked. You see, this is the problem with video games that are Mature rated: the crappy ones screw it up for the good ones. It seems my initial idea of “don’t buy it and they will stop” doesn’t work anymore. I have let developers off easy over the last few years but not anymore. I wont tell you what to make but REALLY THINK before you put these games out. Is the controversy worth the chance of screwing over all gamers because you want to put an f-bomb, a RPK (rocket propelled kitten) cannon or boobies in a game? Stop being selfish and think of your target consumer. If you don’t think it fits, odds are it doesn’t.
The simple truth is that banning video games won’t help anything. I hope this doesn’t reach America ever because I don’t want to miss out on the holiday battle of the PS3, X-Box360 and Wii games because some Christian parents rights groups got I.P.S. over some crappy game with beheadings, bombs and boobs. Didn’t want to rant about this twice in a week, but this just showed up on CNN.
GAMERS UNITE!!
Manhunt 2 has officially been banned for purchase/sale in the United Kingdom (barring an appeal with Rockstar may attempt) and “family rights groups” (which means bible thumping, booby hating, violence decrying aging redneck douches) are attempting to have the same thing happen here in America. To that gamers, we must say the nay no.
First off, I have read the coverage about Manhunt 2. It has a violent premise and is full of graphic killing and sadistic tones.
You know what? It doesn’t matter because odds are the game will end up being crappy. First off, name one game that is violent or offensive just for the sake of being violent and offensive that was any good? Thrill Kill? Anyone even REMEMBER that game aside me? The first Manhunt? Was intriguing for the first 45 minutes to an hour but after stabbing someone with an ice pick for the 8th time it lost its luster because it played like crap and the action was too few and far between. Quite simply, games of this ilk are bad not because of the content, but because of the game itself. These things usually work themselves out, see 2 Live Crew and most crappy horror movies.
Also, I am sick of the hypocrisy of America when it comes to violence. It wasn’t violent when movies in the 80’s (and 70’s) like Body Double and The Godfather were some of the most violent movies ever. I see grisly (and I mean GRISLY) images of the Iraq War on the news every night. Those aren’t pixels on TV; those are real shrapnel shards. Inside those tanks and exploding cars aren’t aliens or robots, they are human beings. There is no reset button for any of those people Gaza. The blood on the streets isn’t gone by the next level. That is REAL violence, yet no one bans the news. No one is stopping the war anytime soon. Last I checked, movies like Grindhouse and Hostel 2 were still in the theaters (and sucking it up, to boot) and those movies have scenes of torture and mutilation. The fact is that video games are held to a double standard by activists groups because video games are seen as a “kids medium” and for the most part kids are too stupid to think for themselves and parents are too “overwhelmed” (which is activist speak for “poor parents” IMHO) to monitor what their children play and see. News flash, people. Games are made for several markets and demographics just like movies, TV shows and music are. Mature rated games like Manhunt 2 aren’t made for kids to start off with. There is nothing about that game that screams “play me” to an 11 year old.
Before you say “the violence is intriguing to young people” I will give the same defense for video games that I give for cigarettes. If your kid is intrigued by a cartoon camel to put smoke in their lungs they aren’t as bright as you think they are because intentionally putting smoke in your lungs at its basic CORE is asinine and shouldn’t be emulated (by following a CAMEL no less). Therefore, if your kid sees a man get stabbed in the chest with a whirring buzz saw and get intrigued then they are not as smart as you believe because at its CORE a buzz saw to the chest is murder and shouldn’t be emulated. If kids aren’t able to separate fiction from reality then they need to be TAUGHT THAT. Banning games that are based in violent and based in FICTION isn’t going to help anything. All you are doing is taking rights away from those that CAN tell fiction from reality to chose whether to play a game that may be Mature or not. I do not accept the argument that banning these games is good for the children as much as I don’t believe that relinquishing civil liberties for my “safety against terrorism” is logical or just. You cannot take away the privileges of the whole for the stupidity of the few.
Now I am not calling all kids stupid and I am not calling all parents worthless. Everyone needs to understand their part in this. No matter how uncomfortable, parents need to take the responsibility to educate their children on what they feel is offensive and set ground rules for their children to abide by to fit that. Kids need to learn that you are not a person until you are 18 (heh). Deal with it, you do what your parents say because USUALLY they are only doing what is best for you. With that being said, it is ALSO a kid’s responsibility to discuss with their parents what they know and how they perceive these kinds of things and parents should make changes as such. There are some kids that do grasp the concept of…well not being an idiot. You don’t do what you see in video games because they are a medium of entertainment. You play them to enjoy, not to reenact them. Parents, at that point your parenting skills come into play. No one knows your kids (OR SHOULD KNOW YOUR KIDS) better than you. If you believe that they are ready to play those types of games, let them with rules. Play it with them first to see what it is about. I guarantee that if parents actually PLAYED Manhunt they would not be upset at the violence as much as upset with not having a camera that worked or not being able to sneak effectively because the AI was jacked. Discuss the game with them and see where their head is at. Let them know that they can’t impale people on walls, back flip slice ninjas, rip the wings off of harpies or fire rocket launchers into a crowd of zombies. If they grasp that, which they should, you know they are ready to partake in the Resident Evil’s and GTA’s of the video game world.
This exchange takes an hour. If you don’t have an hour for your kids, then you shouldn’t have had them until you did. Birth control was plentiful and money shots are always an option if you weren’t ready. Knuckle up and do your damn job. Kids, know your damn role and THINK. If you really get ideas for killing people from Half-Life then you need to not play video games. If you don’t get it, don’t play it because you are messing things up for the rest of us. Keep away from the “Mature” games and play some Surf’s Up or Hello Kitty’s Adventure of Lollipop Island or something until you are mentally ready. Pretty kickass game, if I say so myself.
Lastly, game developers. Next time you have an idea for a game that has graphic violence, nudity, drug use, obscenities, negative religious imagery (which I am all for but that is another story), torture or any other mature theme I want you to ask yourselves these questions:
- Is the eye gouging of the puppy in the Neo-Boston level excessive? I mean its SO CUUUTE!
- Will this be fun? There are 40 levels and only two enemies…and they are palette swaps.
- Does the camera work where it needs to? I mean the players MAY want to see where they LAND WHEN THEY JUMP!
- Are the characters engaging? His name is Steve and he is looking for revenge, but for what? And how did he get the ability to shoot lightning from his wang?!
- Should those chicks be lezzing right now? I mean The Colossus of Rhodes is attacking!
- Hey, does this game need a block button? There are 107 ninjas on the screen at one time and they are all attacking. AND they only have one life with no continues.
These are some simple questions to ask when you are coming up with ideas and programming games. I mean come on, guys. What is the purpose of making sequels to Manhunt, State of Emergency and ANY MORTAL KOMBAT AFTER MKII (although Trilogy had its moments) when no one liked the originals? All that controversy, all that violence and gore and parent bitching to make a game that no one liked. You see, this is the problem with video games that are Mature rated: the crappy ones screw it up for the good ones. It seems my initial idea of “don’t buy it and they will stop” doesn’t work anymore. I have let developers off easy over the last few years but not anymore. I wont tell you what to make but REALLY THINK before you put these games out. Is the controversy worth the chance of screwing over all gamers because you want to put an f-bomb, a RPK (rocket propelled kitten) cannon or boobies in a game? Stop being selfish and think of your target consumer. If you don’t think it fits, odds are it doesn’t.
The simple truth is that banning video games won’t help anything. I hope this doesn’t reach America ever because I don’t want to miss out on the holiday battle of the PS3, X-Box360 and Wii games because some Christian parents rights groups got I.P.S. over some crappy game with beheadings, bombs and boobs. Didn’t want to rant about this twice in a week, but this just showed up on CNN.
GAMERS UNITE!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
FedEx Licks Emu Taint.
Fuck FedEx. Because they use contract delivery people, I cant get my computer until tomorrow. That is fucking bullshit. First off, how safe is my property of you dont monitor your contractors delivery trucks (if I am not mistaken they have communication with their employed drivers)? That driver could be tinkering with my Windows Vista right now! It already doesnt work to start off with you r-tards! This is the second time I have had to deal with FedEd about this (I believe they did the same thing to my camera last year) and I keep on asking to not ship with them and it happens anyway.
Another reason I dont like FedEx is that they dont fucking knock. When I got my offer letter from HP in 2004, I had the door open because I was also waiting for the Adelphia cable guy (yeah, long time ago) and I heard the truck pull up and the dog barked because he heard someone on the porch. As I am walking up the stairs, I see him damn near run away. I get to the door and I yell to him that I am there and he said "Oh, I knocked and no one came to the door!"
First off, fuck you you liar. Second off, I had:
Another reason I dont like FedEx is that they dont fucking knock. When I got my offer letter from HP in 2004, I had the door open because I was also waiting for the Adelphia cable guy (yeah, long time ago) and I heard the truck pull up and the dog barked because he heard someone on the porch. As I am walking up the stairs, I see him damn near run away. I get to the door and I yell to him that I am there and he said "Oh, I knocked and no one came to the door!"
First off, fuck you you liar. Second off, I had:
The door open with music playing (so unless I am really lax on security SOMEONE was hope)
A metal storm door (which re-animates zombies when knocked on)
A doorbell (that could summon Viking warriors from the Arctic North)
What REALLY pissed me off is that it didnt even require a signature! He was just going to fucking leave with my letter! Why? Because he was a lazy fucktard. Congrats, FedEx. I hope you get head cancer from the 'thrax.
Fuck FedEx, fuck them in their stupid shitty shipping heads.
Even Satan Has Friends! He Plays Yatzee With JFK Everyday!
Whats up, peeps. Sad day in Chachi-ville as one my best friends leaves me today. This person was there during my initial interview and his exact words were “So…um…this job is boring. Get ready.” He was there my first day (albeit didn’t come to get me from the lobby where I sat for about an hour and a half listening to Wicked on my iPod) to show me the ropes, which pretty much was “Yeah, the excitement never ends.” He took my tastless, racist, sexist, homophobic and hetrophobic jokes in stride, mainly because he was making them, too. He was there when my boss took us to Blue Star (Roasted duck, bitches!) for dinner and I got a tad bit off the chain on the martinis. Then he was gone the rest of the time but that was neither here nor there. The fact is that he was my work road dog. He was my homie. And I am going to miss my homie. So to H-Ruby…this is for you:
I REALLY MISS…MY...HOMIES! EVEN THOUGH YOU GONE AWAY! I KNOW YOU IN A BETTER PLACE AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE SOMEDAY! Hahahaha…seriously, stay up. Good luck at the new job, homie. Oh, and Pimp-C is a lyrical genius, I don’t give a fuck what ANYONE SAYS. Sweet Jones Jr. talking to ya!
Oh, there is another person that I have to say goodbye to. I don’t WANT to but I guess I had better seeing as how I we are friends. This person…well she finds a way to piss me off everyday. Without fail. Something she does will make me want to…well do this:
BTW, that is why John Cena will NEVER be better than Edge. NEVER. That and he got to the top by banging another mans old lady. It’s kind of my dream! Anyway, back to my nemesis. Even though she pisses me off to no end, it is like…my day is not complete without talking to her. My god…I am totally a chick. I love to be treated like crap! Which is what she does! She makes fun of me; she threw me in a dryer with a wasps nest and made me moon Boy Scout Troop 324! And yet, I came back for more because we are friends. It’s not like the abuse Rick and I or Zach and I dole out to each other because that is 51% to 49% depending on who is drunker or having a shittier day respectively. As for Griff…I can’t stand that nigga. Havent since that Madden game in 1997. I really wanted to strangle him with the controller cord. The abuse from her is mainly one sided. I am always nice and never make fun of her ethnicity or height (or her constant saying of WHATEVER. The dictionary is full of words. FIND ANOTHER ONE!). Yet what does she do? Douse me with water and hook me up to a car battery. Yet…I came back for more. What would make me come back and still be friends with someone that treats me so poorly? Why would I want to cohort (Hmm…interesting word choice?) with someone who uses me for free sake? And sushi? And margaritas? What would bake me feel this way? Could it be? No…no way? It couldn’t be…lo…lo…oh my god it is. That is what I feel in my heart for her. What is this feeling? Does it have a name? Yes. Yes. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss. Lo…lo….loooooooooooooooooo…..
LOATHING
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am the burn master! Call me Dr. Burnenstien! Call me the Chach-dor the Burninator! Call me Chachi Blaze because I am on fire! Chachi on! Aahhhhhhhh, just kidding. Seriously, she is leaving and she is maybe my best friend at work. Not saying much but hey, a title is a title. I’m gonna miss ya, Kimmy. This is for you:
God, Barry Manilow AND Inuyasha? I’m kind of a dick. Seriously, have fun at the new job! You will be missed. Thanks for being a friend, kiddo. I don’t say it enough. I treat you like the Charlie Murphy to my Rick James. I’m sorry Kimmy, I was having a little too much fun. Eh, I’m no good with words. Maybe Randy Newman can use his basic observational songwriting to tell you.
Yeah, you always have a friend in me (oh, and Kingdom Hearts II is actually pretty damn good). Only good Randy Newman song.
Chachi Out
I REALLY MISS…MY...HOMIES! EVEN THOUGH YOU GONE AWAY! I KNOW YOU IN A BETTER PLACE AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE SOMEDAY! Hahahaha…seriously, stay up. Good luck at the new job, homie. Oh, and Pimp-C is a lyrical genius, I don’t give a fuck what ANYONE SAYS. Sweet Jones Jr. talking to ya!
Oh, there is another person that I have to say goodbye to. I don’t WANT to but I guess I had better seeing as how I we are friends. This person…well she finds a way to piss me off everyday. Without fail. Something she does will make me want to…well do this:
BTW, that is why John Cena will NEVER be better than Edge. NEVER. That and he got to the top by banging another mans old lady. It’s kind of my dream! Anyway, back to my nemesis. Even though she pisses me off to no end, it is like…my day is not complete without talking to her. My god…I am totally a chick. I love to be treated like crap! Which is what she does! She makes fun of me; she threw me in a dryer with a wasps nest and made me moon Boy Scout Troop 324! And yet, I came back for more because we are friends. It’s not like the abuse Rick and I or Zach and I dole out to each other because that is 51% to 49% depending on who is drunker or having a shittier day respectively. As for Griff…I can’t stand that nigga. Havent since that Madden game in 1997. I really wanted to strangle him with the controller cord. The abuse from her is mainly one sided. I am always nice and never make fun of her ethnicity or height (or her constant saying of WHATEVER. The dictionary is full of words. FIND ANOTHER ONE!). Yet what does she do? Douse me with water and hook me up to a car battery. Yet…I came back for more. What would make me come back and still be friends with someone that treats me so poorly? Why would I want to cohort (Hmm…interesting word choice?) with someone who uses me for free sake? And sushi? And margaritas? What would bake me feel this way? Could it be? No…no way? It couldn’t be…lo…lo…oh my god it is. That is what I feel in my heart for her. What is this feeling? Does it have a name? Yes. Yes. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss. Lo…lo….loooooooooooooooooo…..
LOATHING
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am the burn master! Call me Dr. Burnenstien! Call me the Chach-dor the Burninator! Call me Chachi Blaze because I am on fire! Chachi on! Aahhhhhhhh, just kidding. Seriously, she is leaving and she is maybe my best friend at work. Not saying much but hey, a title is a title. I’m gonna miss ya, Kimmy. This is for you:
God, Barry Manilow AND Inuyasha? I’m kind of a dick. Seriously, have fun at the new job! You will be missed. Thanks for being a friend, kiddo. I don’t say it enough. I treat you like the Charlie Murphy to my Rick James. I’m sorry Kimmy, I was having a little too much fun. Eh, I’m no good with words. Maybe Randy Newman can use his basic observational songwriting to tell you.
Yeah, you always have a friend in me (oh, and Kingdom Hearts II is actually pretty damn good). Only good Randy Newman song.
Chachi Out
Monday, June 18, 2007
Gamer's Unite! W00T 43vA! (That means...w00t forever)
What is up, peeps! I am back after a double Hollywood dip yesterday, an Omnibus on Thursday and the Countdown on Friday. What can I say, I am a giver. So yesterday I went out looking for some video games for my new X-Box360 when once again I had one of those “parents kind of suck” moments. Now I have these once every few months or so when I go shopping for video games because for the most part no one monitors what goes on with them. Hell, no one even cares about video games until a GTA or a Mortal Kombat comes out. Meanwhile, Lesiure Suit Larry has been giving us digitized boobies for nearly two fucking decades and I never hear anyone get all up in their grill.
You know, as a gamer I am really against legislation and banning of games targeted for adults. I believe the job falls on the retailers and the parents to police what their children play. I'm sorry as but hard as being a parent is, parents need to understand that monitoring your children is YOUR job. Not the government, not Best Buy, and sure as hell not Rockstar. Stopping Rockstar from making games with violence isn't going to make children any less violent. It's just censorship, people. Besides, most violent video games are rarely purchased anyway due to quality. For every Grand Theft Auto, there is a 187: Ride or Die. Any kid that will buy attempt to buy a game solely because it has violence is not being parented or not that intelligent. To paraphrase Ron White, there is no fix for stupid.
Now this is a re-do of a blog I put up in March of 2006 about when I went to Gamestop and had to explain to a parent that getting their child a game called “25 To Life” may not be the best idea mainly because they would end up serving 25 to life if they played it. Since then, I have had to sit back and hear about the Hot Coffee scandal (to which all I can say is I had to see Samatha’s old naked ass on Sex In The City and I never got an apology for THAT), first person shooters (about the Virgina Tech shootings to which all I will say is if you cant fix stupid you sure as FUCK cant fix crazy. Tragic events but the man was not mentally healthy. Video games were only a small capture of his problems) and the Church’s beef with Sony over Resistance: Fall of Man (Um…your priests have sex with boys. Fix that first THEN worry about aliens having shoot outs in your digitized churches). You know, I honestly believe that developers have to take themselves to task for what they put out in their medium. I mean violence for the sake of violence is not cool. However…it is my CHOICE to decide what is violent. As a consumer and a video game fan it is my right and responsibility to decide not only what is healthy for me but what is healthy for my three out of wedlock bastards. I’m kidding, I have no children.
Now people have gotten in my grill (do the kids say that anymore?) about how I can’t have a truthful insight because I don’t have kids. That can be farther from the truth. I played Pokemon, a-holes! I raised 207 of them before the battery backup in the cartridge went bad and I lost them all. Unless you are Mormon or Mexican (or a Mexican Morman?) you cannot compete with my parenting skills! Maybe if you put your children in Pokeballs and had them battle to gain levels, your kids would be smarter. I’m just saying. You don’t see Pokemon mouthing off, shooting each other or getting pregnant at young ages. Hell, they stay in their ball and do as there are told, just like your kids should! Except Pikachu, but he rules all so there.
The fact is that monitoring in games is not about parenting or even parenting skills. It is about censorship. It's funny to me; I grew up during the videogame firestorm in the 90's and I had my share of violent games. They were trying to have games banned left and right from WarLords to Mortal Kombat to Sewer Shark to Night Trap. You know what? I never killed anyone. I never played Doom and decided to go on a killing spree. I never played Mortal Kombat and wanted to rip someone's heart out. You know why? Because I knew my parents would do the same to me if I even thought about it. My parents didn’t monitor me like a reality show. Yet, I never did anything out of the ordinary because of video games. Now I would scream 'HADOKEN' and make the fireball motion, but I knew that I couldnt ACTUALLY TOSS FIREBALLS. The fact is that we don’t need to run around banning games because we think kids don’t get it. You know why?
BECAUSE THE GAMES ARENT FOR KIDS!!
I bought Rumble Roses XX (Yes, I bought it. I am a lonely and desperate man!) and Gears of War when I got my X-Box360 (W00t, fishes! Fuck a PS3!) and I got ID’d for them. I am 26 years old and I got carded. I didn’t get pissed, it is what he is SUPPOSED TO DO. As a matter of fact, for every Mature game, he carded the person buying it there were a lot of people there that were buying the Crackdown game because of the Halo 3 demo (which on another note I actually like. Not really a Halo fan, but the beta rocked the box). Now, I saw three parents there buying the game for young children. I am a poor guage of ages but I would say they were all under 18. Now I am running under the theory that all retailers card their purchasers (and I can say I have always been carded) but if:
Kids can’t buy the games in stores
Kids can’t get credit cards to buy the games online
Kids can’t illegally download the games via peer to peer because parents are monitoring their kids internet usage (again, perfect world)
That would mean that the kids that always get a hold of these games that parents cause such an uproar about…were purchased by the parents themselves. Looking at this logically with the machine running as it should, there is no other way for them to get said games. There are safeguards to keep these games out of children’s hands already and if parents are usuping that then they have no on to blame but themselves.
Now the machine IS NOT perfect so I know that kids get the games from retailers. If there are rules in place to keep games away from the under 18 crowd and they don’t follow them then the RETAILER should be punished. If kids are buying the games online, where are they getting the credit card from? Its either stolen, which is a bigger issue altogether or its from the parents which once again is not the developers fault. As for the internet, if you read my MySpace and child safety rant you know that the internet is like Diddy; it can’t stop and it won’t stop. Neh eh, neh eh.
In the end, the responsibility lies with retailers to follow the rules, parents to monitor and teach their children and with the developers to consider the quality and content of the material. I do not let game companies off the hook because there are SO MANY CRAPPY GAMES OUT THERE! First off, having titties in a game is not a right, it is a privilege. Having them is a taboo because as we saw with Janet Jackson the only thing America fears more than terrorism and gays are titties. So a game with transgender terrorists in halter tops will never get made. Although I would play that if it used the Metal Gear Solid 3 engine. Back to the point, if you have nudity, excessive violence or cursing in a game to sell copies because your game sucks it dry then you should be stabbed in the face with a copy of Resident Evil 4 because that’s how you do violence right! And yes, I see the irony in that statement; that was the point. There are so many Mature games that rule all that I would never get to play if lazy parents, religious knuckle heads and Jack Thompson had their way. For all the gamers out there, if legislation for the government monitoring of video games passes these games would not be available to us:
Halo 3
Ninja Gaiden Sigma (which may be a good thing because that game is hard as FUCK)
GTA4
God of War III (That sound you heard? My fourth orgasm just thinking about it)
Heavenly Sword
Metal Gear Solid 4
Gears of War 2
Fallout
Not to mention several others! The facts are that the average age of video game players is 33 years old, which is 7 years older than I am. I have been gaming since I was…well born for the most part (Atari 2600, fool!) until last night and not ONCE have I ever contemplated violence based on it. Not ONCE have I ever emulated an act from a video game, and at least not known of the repercussions of any actions I did. Most importantly, my parents did not let me play games that they felt were not appropriate for me. I tell you, Christmas of 1994 was RUINED because I couldn’t get Mortal Kombat II. You know what? My parents raised me right and taught me that with the power to choose comes the responsibility to understand your choice and the repercussions. By taking away the right to choose the games that we as gaming adults find entertaining you are slowly taking away our liberties until all we are left with is Bubsy 3D and The Bible Game. All I have to say to that is unless Jesus is going all Kratos on the Romans I aint interested in no games with the Jew King. Hey, “Jesus of War!” Oh my god, that may be the greatest idea for a video game ever. He breaks off the cross and uses it as a weapon! How awesome (and tastily blasphemous) would that be?!
Long story slightly less long, censoring or stopping controversial games from being produced isn’t going to solve the problem. Education, acknowledging responsibility and monitoring will. Besides, who decides what is controversial? Mario Bros. had mushroom and flowers that gave you magic powers and ducks in turtle shells. Is that REALLY controversial? It is if you have done drugs and BOY HAVE I DONE DRUGS! It’s why I love the game so damn much. God of War had naked women and violence. It is documented that the Greek gods were a violent bunch. Not like they held hands, picked snapdragons and sang “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey all damn day. They were fucking assholes. Is being historically accurate controversial (okay, the accuracy of Greek gods is debatable but so is Jesus being the son of God so there)? Like I said, educate kids on what is going on in the games and if you believe they can't handle it THEN keep them from it. I find it awkward how parents don't want strangers to tell them they are being a bad parent, but by the government censoring what you feel isn’t worth your time to monitor is okay. By doing that, you are saying that you can't do your job as a parent and that you need to take the rights away of law abiding citizens because you cant make sure there are no titties in a video game. Congratulations, you are a fucktard. Ignorance, its spreading peeps.
You know I don’t like getting on my soapbox (riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight) but this has reached a boiling point with me. I am not against parents getting assistance to keep their kids safe by weeding out the bullshit, but I am against people taking my right away to play a game because the main character rips off the head of a Gorgon because they cant keep track of little Jimmy or Jessica. It isn’t they governments job to weed out the stuff that is bad for your kids. The power is YOURS!
Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out.
You know, as a gamer I am really against legislation and banning of games targeted for adults. I believe the job falls on the retailers and the parents to police what their children play. I'm sorry as but hard as being a parent is, parents need to understand that monitoring your children is YOUR job. Not the government, not Best Buy, and sure as hell not Rockstar. Stopping Rockstar from making games with violence isn't going to make children any less violent. It's just censorship, people. Besides, most violent video games are rarely purchased anyway due to quality. For every Grand Theft Auto, there is a 187: Ride or Die. Any kid that will buy attempt to buy a game solely because it has violence is not being parented or not that intelligent. To paraphrase Ron White, there is no fix for stupid.
Now this is a re-do of a blog I put up in March of 2006 about when I went to Gamestop and had to explain to a parent that getting their child a game called “25 To Life” may not be the best idea mainly because they would end up serving 25 to life if they played it. Since then, I have had to sit back and hear about the Hot Coffee scandal (to which all I can say is I had to see Samatha’s old naked ass on Sex In The City and I never got an apology for THAT), first person shooters (about the Virgina Tech shootings to which all I will say is if you cant fix stupid you sure as FUCK cant fix crazy. Tragic events but the man was not mentally healthy. Video games were only a small capture of his problems) and the Church’s beef with Sony over Resistance: Fall of Man (Um…your priests have sex with boys. Fix that first THEN worry about aliens having shoot outs in your digitized churches). You know, I honestly believe that developers have to take themselves to task for what they put out in their medium. I mean violence for the sake of violence is not cool. However…it is my CHOICE to decide what is violent. As a consumer and a video game fan it is my right and responsibility to decide not only what is healthy for me but what is healthy for my three out of wedlock bastards. I’m kidding, I have no children.
Now people have gotten in my grill (do the kids say that anymore?) about how I can’t have a truthful insight because I don’t have kids. That can be farther from the truth. I played Pokemon, a-holes! I raised 207 of them before the battery backup in the cartridge went bad and I lost them all. Unless you are Mormon or Mexican (or a Mexican Morman?) you cannot compete with my parenting skills! Maybe if you put your children in Pokeballs and had them battle to gain levels, your kids would be smarter. I’m just saying. You don’t see Pokemon mouthing off, shooting each other or getting pregnant at young ages. Hell, they stay in their ball and do as there are told, just like your kids should! Except Pikachu, but he rules all so there.
The fact is that monitoring in games is not about parenting or even parenting skills. It is about censorship. It's funny to me; I grew up during the videogame firestorm in the 90's and I had my share of violent games. They were trying to have games banned left and right from WarLords to Mortal Kombat to Sewer Shark to Night Trap. You know what? I never killed anyone. I never played Doom and decided to go on a killing spree. I never played Mortal Kombat and wanted to rip someone's heart out. You know why? Because I knew my parents would do the same to me if I even thought about it. My parents didn’t monitor me like a reality show. Yet, I never did anything out of the ordinary because of video games. Now I would scream 'HADOKEN' and make the fireball motion, but I knew that I couldnt ACTUALLY TOSS FIREBALLS. The fact is that we don’t need to run around banning games because we think kids don’t get it. You know why?
BECAUSE THE GAMES ARENT FOR KIDS!!
I bought Rumble Roses XX (Yes, I bought it. I am a lonely and desperate man!) and Gears of War when I got my X-Box360 (W00t, fishes! Fuck a PS3!) and I got ID’d for them. I am 26 years old and I got carded. I didn’t get pissed, it is what he is SUPPOSED TO DO. As a matter of fact, for every Mature game, he carded the person buying it there were a lot of people there that were buying the Crackdown game because of the Halo 3 demo (which on another note I actually like. Not really a Halo fan, but the beta rocked the box). Now, I saw three parents there buying the game for young children. I am a poor guage of ages but I would say they were all under 18. Now I am running under the theory that all retailers card their purchasers (and I can say I have always been carded) but if:
Kids can’t buy the games in stores
Kids can’t get credit cards to buy the games online
Kids can’t illegally download the games via peer to peer because parents are monitoring their kids internet usage (again, perfect world)
That would mean that the kids that always get a hold of these games that parents cause such an uproar about…were purchased by the parents themselves. Looking at this logically with the machine running as it should, there is no other way for them to get said games. There are safeguards to keep these games out of children’s hands already and if parents are usuping that then they have no on to blame but themselves.
Now the machine IS NOT perfect so I know that kids get the games from retailers. If there are rules in place to keep games away from the under 18 crowd and they don’t follow them then the RETAILER should be punished. If kids are buying the games online, where are they getting the credit card from? Its either stolen, which is a bigger issue altogether or its from the parents which once again is not the developers fault. As for the internet, if you read my MySpace and child safety rant you know that the internet is like Diddy; it can’t stop and it won’t stop. Neh eh, neh eh.
In the end, the responsibility lies with retailers to follow the rules, parents to monitor and teach their children and with the developers to consider the quality and content of the material. I do not let game companies off the hook because there are SO MANY CRAPPY GAMES OUT THERE! First off, having titties in a game is not a right, it is a privilege. Having them is a taboo because as we saw with Janet Jackson the only thing America fears more than terrorism and gays are titties. So a game with transgender terrorists in halter tops will never get made. Although I would play that if it used the Metal Gear Solid 3 engine. Back to the point, if you have nudity, excessive violence or cursing in a game to sell copies because your game sucks it dry then you should be stabbed in the face with a copy of Resident Evil 4 because that’s how you do violence right! And yes, I see the irony in that statement; that was the point. There are so many Mature games that rule all that I would never get to play if lazy parents, religious knuckle heads and Jack Thompson had their way. For all the gamers out there, if legislation for the government monitoring of video games passes these games would not be available to us:
Halo 3
Ninja Gaiden Sigma (which may be a good thing because that game is hard as FUCK)
GTA4
God of War III (That sound you heard? My fourth orgasm just thinking about it)
Heavenly Sword
Metal Gear Solid 4
Gears of War 2
Fallout
Not to mention several others! The facts are that the average age of video game players is 33 years old, which is 7 years older than I am. I have been gaming since I was…well born for the most part (Atari 2600, fool!) until last night and not ONCE have I ever contemplated violence based on it. Not ONCE have I ever emulated an act from a video game, and at least not known of the repercussions of any actions I did. Most importantly, my parents did not let me play games that they felt were not appropriate for me. I tell you, Christmas of 1994 was RUINED because I couldn’t get Mortal Kombat II. You know what? My parents raised me right and taught me that with the power to choose comes the responsibility to understand your choice and the repercussions. By taking away the right to choose the games that we as gaming adults find entertaining you are slowly taking away our liberties until all we are left with is Bubsy 3D and The Bible Game. All I have to say to that is unless Jesus is going all Kratos on the Romans I aint interested in no games with the Jew King. Hey, “Jesus of War!” Oh my god, that may be the greatest idea for a video game ever. He breaks off the cross and uses it as a weapon! How awesome (and tastily blasphemous) would that be?!
Long story slightly less long, censoring or stopping controversial games from being produced isn’t going to solve the problem. Education, acknowledging responsibility and monitoring will. Besides, who decides what is controversial? Mario Bros. had mushroom and flowers that gave you magic powers and ducks in turtle shells. Is that REALLY controversial? It is if you have done drugs and BOY HAVE I DONE DRUGS! It’s why I love the game so damn much. God of War had naked women and violence. It is documented that the Greek gods were a violent bunch. Not like they held hands, picked snapdragons and sang “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey all damn day. They were fucking assholes. Is being historically accurate controversial (okay, the accuracy of Greek gods is debatable but so is Jesus being the son of God so there)? Like I said, educate kids on what is going on in the games and if you believe they can't handle it THEN keep them from it. I find it awkward how parents don't want strangers to tell them they are being a bad parent, but by the government censoring what you feel isn’t worth your time to monitor is okay. By doing that, you are saying that you can't do your job as a parent and that you need to take the rights away of law abiding citizens because you cant make sure there are no titties in a video game. Congratulations, you are a fucktard. Ignorance, its spreading peeps.
You know I don’t like getting on my soapbox (riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight) but this has reached a boiling point with me. I am not against parents getting assistance to keep their kids safe by weeding out the bullshit, but I am against people taking my right away to play a game because the main character rips off the head of a Gorgon because they cant keep track of little Jimmy or Jessica. It isn’t they governments job to weed out the stuff that is bad for your kids. The power is YOURS!
Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Everything Is Just Filler Until Transformers.
What is up, ya’ll! The weekend is almost over (BOOOOOO!) but all that means is that we are three weeks away from Transformers! More than meets the mother-fucking eye, fishes! God, this movie is either going to rock my face or suck more than anything has ever sucked. There will BE NO MIDDLE GROUND!
So this weekend was rather boring, seeing as I only have like $34 dollars and half a tank of gas until payday due to actually paying bills. Fucking student loans, not like I learned anything! Even with that, I managed to squeeze in two movies (One was free! W00T!) and some self-reflection into the weekend! But first it’s time for the return of…
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD DOUBLE FEATURE!
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer & Ratatoullie!
First off, Fantastic Four. For those of you that saw the first movie, you were either disappointed or indifferent. I was in the latter because I was never really much of a Fantastic Four fan as much as I was a Dr.Doom fan. Actually, I am more of a Twisted Toyfare Theater fan (CURSED RICHARDS!!!) but still. Rise of the Silver Surfer was…well…a rollercoaster. This is a movie that was like the 1991 World Series. There were cheer inducing highs and pride-shattering lows in this sequel. Let me start with the highs.
The Good:
The Hawtness: This movie was enough for me to see Jessica Alba and Chris Evans in skin-tight outfits. My god I nearly filled the cup four times alone just because of them. Jessica Alba is still my baby boo, despite what any pending lawsuits or current retraining orders say. Although she gets more racially ambiguous by the day (I don’t care about that as much as another pressing issue) she is still hawt but still needs to eat something. As for Chris Evans…DAMN. Jakey, Jakey makes my heart quakey! This movie stands up to the hawtness that was “300” and that’s hard to do because Spartans are the epitome of sexy.
Fantastic Effects: This was a shocker. This movie was more visually impressive in some parts than Spiderman 3 and even Pirates 3. The ending sequence (when they aren’t on the ground…ugh) was visually STUNNING and it showed what the Silver Surfer could do (Not many people know what his damn powers are. The power cosmic is up there with Scarlet Witch’s majik powers. God…I’m a nerd). Each characters powers were used for action, not just to do it like they were in the first movie. Silver Surfer was impressive (I am a sucker for liquid effects) and the flying sequences rival Superman Returns (which got a bad rap, solely for being too long and out of order. More on that if you want to know which I am sure you don’t) in terms of speed, clarity and quality. I was expecting some hokey stuff (Especially with the shoestring budges seeing as how they spent more on GHOST RIDER) but I was impressed!
Marvel’s First Family Is…A Family: Superhero movies with teams have been either good (X-Men 2: X-Men United, Hellboy) or bad (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). Never has there been a good “team comic book” movie. You know, that was one of the few bright spots of the first movie and really added to the second movie. These four are literally a family. There is actually a team dynamic (rather than it being Wolverine and The Pips) to this group that in my opinion adds to the movie. The acting (of Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm, anyway) is awesome and Reed Richards actually shows more of the Ultimate version of being a nerd but knowing “Asshole, I am smarter than you and you wont push me around” rather than the pussy of the first one. This movie had a team feel rather than a bunch of heroes tossed together for a crossover, which is what X-Men felt like. However….there were some bad things about this movie.
The Bad:
So…Plot?: My god. The plot had so much promise and then…nothing. They had Galactus AND Dr. Doom and still managed to not come up with a good plot! Although there was a kick ass plot twist (and fans of Dr. Doom will so have a “Geek Moment” when it happens) the movie itself flowed like some major shit was gonna happen and…nothing. Nothing at all. It went from a kick-ass battle to a SHITTY ass ending sequence which almost killed the movie had it not been so visually impressive. Spiderman 3 was all over done and Pirates 3 was all over the fucking place but Fantastic Four 2 had a great plot and just ass-fucked it Kobe style.
Can You Say Cheap?!: Holy fuck, half the sets were reused from X-Men 2. Seriously, the bunker looked the exact same. Hell, even the Dr. Doom scene in the hallway (Despite the awesomeness of it) was taken from the Magneto scene with the grenades in X-2 (Which was also awesome)! Oh, and the woods? Yeah, looks familiar…just like Elektra and X-2. Oh, and the final set was just….bad. China looks like an alley in California. For a summer blockbuster about the end of the world, it looked like that first Fantastic Four movie:
Yeah, that bad. This movie could have been so much more with some more money and adding the Skrull or the Kree to the movie. Anything to keep the crappiness out of the movie.
Let Us Never See A Jessica Alba Acting School: Okay, as attractive as she is Jessica Alba CANNOT ACT. I sat through Honey, Into The Blue and The Spelling Dictionary to find out she is maybe the worst actress ever. I am talking Maggie Gyllanhaal caliber here and that is BAD. What made this worse is that everyone else stepped up their game for this movie and she drug it down big time. Chris Evans played the brash Johnny Storm perfectly while Mike Chiklas and Ioan Gruffudd were good as The Thing and Mr. Fantastic. Hell, even Julian McMahon turned down the camp and made Dr. Doom the global threat he should be (Hell, the man stole the Beyonder’s powers AND is the second Sorcerer Supreme! He is bad ass). Meanwhile, Jessica Alba and her poor, high-pitched delivery made it seem like it was a high school production. That is not saying everyone was perfect (all had moments of cheese I could have rather done without) but they carried their parts well, unlike in Spiderman 3 and Pirates 3. Despite the advancement, the movie was SO BAD the first time that it really wasn’t a good jump.
All in all…I enjoyed this movie. Most people didn’t but I was expecting nothing and got a whole lot. I wasn’t disappointed because the highs of the Dr. Doom scenes and the fights and character building trumped out the horrible acting and downward spiral of a plot. This movie was above mediocre but no where near great. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer gets…
7 Out of 10 Stars!
(A real hit and miss. What it hit, it did fucking awesome in the character devolpment and the scope of the threat that was Galactus. However, where it missed it wiffed Sammy Sosa style. The plot went downhill at about the 1:12 mark (trust me, you’ll know) and the acting was subpar thanks to a very fine albacore around the casts neck. The movie gains a star for COSMIC DOOM! Oh, and half a point for a half-naked Chris Evans and Jessica Alba. It’s well worth a matinee and if you are truly a comic book movie buff; you will enjoy the few fanboy nods)
Oh, but I aint done! I got a free pass to see Ratatouille on Saturday from Fandango (Wow, I have been a user since 2002. That is pretty damn sweet I get free tickets from time to time) and even though Kimmy decided family is more important than free dinner and a movie hey, she missed out on some great viewing! You know what…this movie was fricking sweet! I despise rats (Zach will tell you) but this almost…ALMOST makes me see them as something to be liked. ALMOST. There was good and bad to this movie, but mostly good.
The Good:
Makes Shrek Look Like HAGIS!: Wow. I loved “Cars” but the animation was not up to par with some of the newer CGI films and not even up there with The Incredibles, Toy Story or A Bugs Life. Ratatouille changed that BIG TIME. I was impressed by the small things (the water, the hair, etc) in this movie that had such an attention to detail. Not only that, as one who only saw Paris for all of two days when I was like four it was an excellent recreation. Although the animation on the people was not as streamlined (which is the case for most if not all Pixar films) each character was animated to its part, unlike Shrek 3 where all the characters looked…well the damn same. Aside from Shrek and the animals there were no real differences mainly because J-Tim and Cameron Dumbass and the same person. Even still, the animation of this movie was top notch and really gave the movie a different feel from the rest of the CGI movies out there.
Sometimes, It Pays To Be Original: One thing Pixar movies can claim to be is original. Aside from Toy Story 2, all their movies are different and this one is no question. A movie about a rat that dreams of being a chef sounds stupid and for the first 5 minutes seems like it might be that way. However, you form a real attachment to Remy, much like Fivel in American Tail or Nemo in Finding Nemo. After a while you are drawn in and surprisingly enjoyning the movie. The movie paces well and like most Pixar movies has a fake climax. You know, where things go right only to find the real conflict which leads to the REAL climax and an ending that is not so perfect but even more satisfying than a standard happy children’s movie ending. Cars is a perfect example of that. You know, Pixar’s writing staff never gets as much credit as it deserves. The movies always LOOK great, but behind that movie is a great story that sometimes gets missed. This movie (aside from Finding Nemo) is the most story driven of the Pixar series because it is about RATS. That cook. Hard to make that interesting but they do it.
The Voices In My Head Won’t Stop!: Now the best work in voice acting in an animated movie not called The Lion King was Finding Nemo. Then comes The Incredibles and The Little Mermaid and after that…I am putting Ratatouille. The star power isn’t there but Patton Oswalt as Remy and Lou Romano as Linguini was a pretty good combo. They matched their characters visually and fit the overall scheme of the movie. Hell, even Janeane Garofalo played a good French woman! It isn’t about who you have, it is about what they do. Boise State knew it. The Spartans in “300” knew it. The Bad News Bears knew it. It is about how the characters go with the movie and these voices fit the characters perfectly. Oh, and it’s nice to see Brian Dennehy with work.
Normally this is where I would list the cons of the film. Shockingly…there were none. Seriously, I couldn’t find anything really bad about this movie. It was good, clean, family fun and had enough to keep any age interested. The biggest issue to get over is a rat being a chef and handling food. For you germaphobes, they handle that issue in the movie and is even covered by Remy in the first five minutes or so. Now I am no professional movie critic but I can say that each movie out this year aside from ATHFCMFFT had a con to it. However, Ratatouille was the best combination this year and unlike ATHFCMFFT you don’t need to leave the seed outside. You can bring it into the film! Overall, this movie was great and I believe that everyone will enjoy it. Master Chief Captain Chachi gives Ratatouille…
10 Out of 10 Stars!
(Arguably the best movie of the year so far. Whether you have kids, are just a kid at heart or tired of all the sequels and copies you should enjoy this movie. The voices are excellent, the animation is killer and most importantly the French are snooty. C’mon, you know its real talk. Check it out, you won’t be disappointed!)
Well, that was quite a post! God…Screech is a tool on Celebrity Fit Club. Sorry, had to get that out. Stay up, peeps!
Chachi Out
So this weekend was rather boring, seeing as I only have like $34 dollars and half a tank of gas until payday due to actually paying bills. Fucking student loans, not like I learned anything! Even with that, I managed to squeeze in two movies (One was free! W00T!) and some self-reflection into the weekend! But first it’s time for the return of…
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD DOUBLE FEATURE!
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer & Ratatoullie!
First off, Fantastic Four. For those of you that saw the first movie, you were either disappointed or indifferent. I was in the latter because I was never really much of a Fantastic Four fan as much as I was a Dr.Doom fan. Actually, I am more of a Twisted Toyfare Theater fan (CURSED RICHARDS!!!) but still. Rise of the Silver Surfer was…well…a rollercoaster. This is a movie that was like the 1991 World Series. There were cheer inducing highs and pride-shattering lows in this sequel. Let me start with the highs.
The Good:
The Hawtness: This movie was enough for me to see Jessica Alba and Chris Evans in skin-tight outfits. My god I nearly filled the cup four times alone just because of them. Jessica Alba is still my baby boo, despite what any pending lawsuits or current retraining orders say. Although she gets more racially ambiguous by the day (I don’t care about that as much as another pressing issue) she is still hawt but still needs to eat something. As for Chris Evans…DAMN. Jakey, Jakey makes my heart quakey! This movie stands up to the hawtness that was “300” and that’s hard to do because Spartans are the epitome of sexy.
Fantastic Effects: This was a shocker. This movie was more visually impressive in some parts than Spiderman 3 and even Pirates 3. The ending sequence (when they aren’t on the ground…ugh) was visually STUNNING and it showed what the Silver Surfer could do (Not many people know what his damn powers are. The power cosmic is up there with Scarlet Witch’s majik powers. God…I’m a nerd). Each characters powers were used for action, not just to do it like they were in the first movie. Silver Surfer was impressive (I am a sucker for liquid effects) and the flying sequences rival Superman Returns (which got a bad rap, solely for being too long and out of order. More on that if you want to know which I am sure you don’t) in terms of speed, clarity and quality. I was expecting some hokey stuff (Especially with the shoestring budges seeing as how they spent more on GHOST RIDER) but I was impressed!
Marvel’s First Family Is…A Family: Superhero movies with teams have been either good (X-Men 2: X-Men United, Hellboy) or bad (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). Never has there been a good “team comic book” movie. You know, that was one of the few bright spots of the first movie and really added to the second movie. These four are literally a family. There is actually a team dynamic (rather than it being Wolverine and The Pips) to this group that in my opinion adds to the movie. The acting (of Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm, anyway) is awesome and Reed Richards actually shows more of the Ultimate version of being a nerd but knowing “Asshole, I am smarter than you and you wont push me around” rather than the pussy of the first one. This movie had a team feel rather than a bunch of heroes tossed together for a crossover, which is what X-Men felt like. However….there were some bad things about this movie.
The Bad:
So…Plot?: My god. The plot had so much promise and then…nothing. They had Galactus AND Dr. Doom and still managed to not come up with a good plot! Although there was a kick ass plot twist (and fans of Dr. Doom will so have a “Geek Moment” when it happens) the movie itself flowed like some major shit was gonna happen and…nothing. Nothing at all. It went from a kick-ass battle to a SHITTY ass ending sequence which almost killed the movie had it not been so visually impressive. Spiderman 3 was all over done and Pirates 3 was all over the fucking place but Fantastic Four 2 had a great plot and just ass-fucked it Kobe style.
Can You Say Cheap?!: Holy fuck, half the sets were reused from X-Men 2. Seriously, the bunker looked the exact same. Hell, even the Dr. Doom scene in the hallway (Despite the awesomeness of it) was taken from the Magneto scene with the grenades in X-2 (Which was also awesome)! Oh, and the woods? Yeah, looks familiar…just like Elektra and X-2. Oh, and the final set was just….bad. China looks like an alley in California. For a summer blockbuster about the end of the world, it looked like that first Fantastic Four movie:
Yeah, that bad. This movie could have been so much more with some more money and adding the Skrull or the Kree to the movie. Anything to keep the crappiness out of the movie.
Let Us Never See A Jessica Alba Acting School: Okay, as attractive as she is Jessica Alba CANNOT ACT. I sat through Honey, Into The Blue and The Spelling Dictionary to find out she is maybe the worst actress ever. I am talking Maggie Gyllanhaal caliber here and that is BAD. What made this worse is that everyone else stepped up their game for this movie and she drug it down big time. Chris Evans played the brash Johnny Storm perfectly while Mike Chiklas and Ioan Gruffudd were good as The Thing and Mr. Fantastic. Hell, even Julian McMahon turned down the camp and made Dr. Doom the global threat he should be (Hell, the man stole the Beyonder’s powers AND is the second Sorcerer Supreme! He is bad ass). Meanwhile, Jessica Alba and her poor, high-pitched delivery made it seem like it was a high school production. That is not saying everyone was perfect (all had moments of cheese I could have rather done without) but they carried their parts well, unlike in Spiderman 3 and Pirates 3. Despite the advancement, the movie was SO BAD the first time that it really wasn’t a good jump.
All in all…I enjoyed this movie. Most people didn’t but I was expecting nothing and got a whole lot. I wasn’t disappointed because the highs of the Dr. Doom scenes and the fights and character building trumped out the horrible acting and downward spiral of a plot. This movie was above mediocre but no where near great. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer gets…
7 Out of 10 Stars!
(A real hit and miss. What it hit, it did fucking awesome in the character devolpment and the scope of the threat that was Galactus. However, where it missed it wiffed Sammy Sosa style. The plot went downhill at about the 1:12 mark (trust me, you’ll know) and the acting was subpar thanks to a very fine albacore around the casts neck. The movie gains a star for COSMIC DOOM! Oh, and half a point for a half-naked Chris Evans and Jessica Alba. It’s well worth a matinee and if you are truly a comic book movie buff; you will enjoy the few fanboy nods)
Oh, but I aint done! I got a free pass to see Ratatouille on Saturday from Fandango (Wow, I have been a user since 2002. That is pretty damn sweet I get free tickets from time to time) and even though Kimmy decided family is more important than free dinner and a movie hey, she missed out on some great viewing! You know what…this movie was fricking sweet! I despise rats (Zach will tell you) but this almost…ALMOST makes me see them as something to be liked. ALMOST. There was good and bad to this movie, but mostly good.
The Good:
Makes Shrek Look Like HAGIS!: Wow. I loved “Cars” but the animation was not up to par with some of the newer CGI films and not even up there with The Incredibles, Toy Story or A Bugs Life. Ratatouille changed that BIG TIME. I was impressed by the small things (the water, the hair, etc) in this movie that had such an attention to detail. Not only that, as one who only saw Paris for all of two days when I was like four it was an excellent recreation. Although the animation on the people was not as streamlined (which is the case for most if not all Pixar films) each character was animated to its part, unlike Shrek 3 where all the characters looked…well the damn same. Aside from Shrek and the animals there were no real differences mainly because J-Tim and Cameron Dumbass and the same person. Even still, the animation of this movie was top notch and really gave the movie a different feel from the rest of the CGI movies out there.
Sometimes, It Pays To Be Original: One thing Pixar movies can claim to be is original. Aside from Toy Story 2, all their movies are different and this one is no question. A movie about a rat that dreams of being a chef sounds stupid and for the first 5 minutes seems like it might be that way. However, you form a real attachment to Remy, much like Fivel in American Tail or Nemo in Finding Nemo. After a while you are drawn in and surprisingly enjoyning the movie. The movie paces well and like most Pixar movies has a fake climax. You know, where things go right only to find the real conflict which leads to the REAL climax and an ending that is not so perfect but even more satisfying than a standard happy children’s movie ending. Cars is a perfect example of that. You know, Pixar’s writing staff never gets as much credit as it deserves. The movies always LOOK great, but behind that movie is a great story that sometimes gets missed. This movie (aside from Finding Nemo) is the most story driven of the Pixar series because it is about RATS. That cook. Hard to make that interesting but they do it.
The Voices In My Head Won’t Stop!: Now the best work in voice acting in an animated movie not called The Lion King was Finding Nemo. Then comes The Incredibles and The Little Mermaid and after that…I am putting Ratatouille. The star power isn’t there but Patton Oswalt as Remy and Lou Romano as Linguini was a pretty good combo. They matched their characters visually and fit the overall scheme of the movie. Hell, even Janeane Garofalo played a good French woman! It isn’t about who you have, it is about what they do. Boise State knew it. The Spartans in “300” knew it. The Bad News Bears knew it. It is about how the characters go with the movie and these voices fit the characters perfectly. Oh, and it’s nice to see Brian Dennehy with work.
Normally this is where I would list the cons of the film. Shockingly…there were none. Seriously, I couldn’t find anything really bad about this movie. It was good, clean, family fun and had enough to keep any age interested. The biggest issue to get over is a rat being a chef and handling food. For you germaphobes, they handle that issue in the movie and is even covered by Remy in the first five minutes or so. Now I am no professional movie critic but I can say that each movie out this year aside from ATHFCMFFT had a con to it. However, Ratatouille was the best combination this year and unlike ATHFCMFFT you don’t need to leave the seed outside. You can bring it into the film! Overall, this movie was great and I believe that everyone will enjoy it. Master Chief Captain Chachi gives Ratatouille…
10 Out of 10 Stars!
(Arguably the best movie of the year so far. Whether you have kids, are just a kid at heart or tired of all the sequels and copies you should enjoy this movie. The voices are excellent, the animation is killer and most importantly the French are snooty. C’mon, you know its real talk. Check it out, you won’t be disappointed!)
Well, that was quite a post! God…Screech is a tool on Celebrity Fit Club. Sorry, had to get that out. Stay up, peeps!
Chachi Out
Saturday, June 16, 2007
You Know, The French Are Not As Lame Now.
Well, a quick update:
1) Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer was much better than it had any right to be. I must say, that unlike the first one I actually enjoyed myself. It wasnt great by any means but as Marvel movies go, it was leaps and bounds above The Hulk and Gohst Rider but nowhere near the Spiderman series. Full review maybe tomorrow.
2) Ratatouille kicked ASS (TAKE THAT KIMMY! YOU MISSED OUT)! Best Pixar movie yet! Mainly because back in the day (I mean WAAAAAAAAY back in the day) I used to be a chef on the AFA but this movie was great! Better than Shrek 3, Pirates 3 and even Spiderman 3 (GASP!). I was kind of waiting for Patton Oswalt to rant in German. Those who have seen his comedy special know what I mean. If you have kids or just like a good movie, check it out! Full review tomorrow...I think.
3) I JUST GOT THE BI (RAIN) WORLD TOUR VIDEO! GAAAAAAH! This may just be the greatest weekend ever!
4) Borders doesnt enjoy Cambodian jokes. Just remember that in case you ever want to make one.
5) You cant stop the University of Virgina. You can only hope to contain them. Even if they are 1-8 and their only victory came against MAINE. What the fuck, have they been worth a shit since Matt Schaub graduated? How can they be kicking my ass like this?!
Well, I think I will update the blog tomorrow. Oh, and dont forget to watch the Robot Chicken: Star Wars Special tomorrow night on Cartoon Network! Its on at 11pm in Colorado for some fucked up reason. Check it out!
Chachi Out!
1) Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer was much better than it had any right to be. I must say, that unlike the first one I actually enjoyed myself. It wasnt great by any means but as Marvel movies go, it was leaps and bounds above The Hulk and Gohst Rider but nowhere near the Spiderman series. Full review maybe tomorrow.
2) Ratatouille kicked ASS (TAKE THAT KIMMY! YOU MISSED OUT)! Best Pixar movie yet! Mainly because back in the day (I mean WAAAAAAAAY back in the day) I used to be a chef on the AFA but this movie was great! Better than Shrek 3, Pirates 3 and even Spiderman 3 (GASP!). I was kind of waiting for Patton Oswalt to rant in German. Those who have seen his comedy special know what I mean. If you have kids or just like a good movie, check it out! Full review tomorrow...I think.
3) I JUST GOT THE BI (RAIN) WORLD TOUR VIDEO! GAAAAAAH! This may just be the greatest weekend ever!
4) Borders doesnt enjoy Cambodian jokes. Just remember that in case you ever want to make one.
5) You cant stop the University of Virgina. You can only hope to contain them. Even if they are 1-8 and their only victory came against MAINE. What the fuck, have they been worth a shit since Matt Schaub graduated? How can they be kicking my ass like this?!
Well, I think I will update the blog tomorrow. Oh, and dont forget to watch the Robot Chicken: Star Wars Special tomorrow night on Cartoon Network! Its on at 11pm in Colorado for some fucked up reason. Check it out!
Chachi Out!
Friday, June 15, 2007
I Got Hit By Cosmic Rays Once...Now I'm Black. I Got GYPED!
IT’S FRIDAY! And it is about damn time, too! I needs to P-A-R-T-E-E!! Well, no more stalling, it is time for the Friday staple…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First I have a new installment of something I haven’t done in MONTHS!
Bubbling Under!
First, we have a new video from a Japanese favorite of mine…
AI – I’ll Remember You
Hey, welcome back! It has been a LONG time since I had my AI fix and it is hella good to see her again. This video is simple goodness (reminds me a lot of Rascal Flats “Stand”) and the song is mid-tempo fun. A different vibe from “I Wanna Know” but still this is good stuff! Next there is a video from a band that is the antithesis of what I believe in…
My Chemical Romance – Teenagers
My god…I am afraid. When I first heard this song I knew there was a problem. It was emo, but it didn’t want to make me kill people. I tapped my toes to it and I was scared. Now there is a video and I have to download it because it is actually pretty damn good in a Marilyn Manson type of way. I don’t like emo kids, but some of the music has become pop/rock goodness (Evanescence, Fall Out Boy).
Well let’s get to the show! We start with a debut from a familiar face. The sexy familiar faces…
20. Foxxi Misq feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (New Entry)
Can this week GET ANY BETTER! The only thing better than one video on the Countdown from Foxxi MisQ is TWO videos on the Countdown by Foxxi MisQ! Not only do they bring me a sexy, saucy video for this song they also bring back Miss Monday! I haven’t seen her in a minute. Reminds me of Calypso from Pirates 3, though.
19. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #14)
So Miss Koda is on the verge of falling out of the Top 20 yet again. Her live rendition of “Sora” was pretty damn bad ass. And she was fully clothed! Well, as fully clothed as Kumi Koda gets these days. I like it when she gives me a little mystery. Here is to the video for “Run For Your Life” soon! I love that song!
18. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (New Entry)
YES! OH, MY FUCKING GOD YES! IT FEELS SO GOOD! GACKT IS FUCKING BACK! This video…has created a paradigm shift in how epic videos will be filmed from this point on! Anyone know where I can find subbed episodes of Fūrin Kazan? It is like 20 episodes in and I can’t find it (also haven’t TRIED very hard but still it’s FUCKING GACKT). Even still, this video RULES YOUR FACE. It is the front runner for Video of the Year, peeps. Oh, and he is hawt. Can’t forget that.
17. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (Last Week #20)
Speaking of hawt, Enrique burn up three places this week! This song has really grown on me (like most songs about heartbreak do because I am ‘teh heartbreak’) and the video has a nice mix of sexy and funny. Good stuff.
16. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #8, Plunge of the Week)
Well, the honeymoon is almost over. Avril falls EIGHT spots this week, out of the Top 10 and almost out of the Countdown! She had an awesome run (two weeks at #2 behind the nobodyknows+ month long reign) but she has had a steady decline since. A new single is out so a new video should follow!
15. M-Flo feat. Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (Last Week #13)
After hanging around for a long ass time (three months) outside the Top 10, Crystal Kay and M-Flo are finally falling. Man…I love Crystal Kay. And people poo-poo on interracial babies. She is a damn fine union of Black and Korean. To bad I am scared of Koreans or I could make babies like that.
14. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #16)
Daddy Yankee hops on Fergie’s manly shoulders and moves up two spots this week! This song is now on full rotation and Fergie makes me question my sexuality because from a distance she looks femine but up close she looks like Triple H with a nose job. SHE IS THE GAYEE-MUH!
13. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #11, one week at #1)
Yui is hawt. That is all. Oh, and this song pisses me off now. Solely the song, I still love Yui with all my soul and being. Just know that women are users, smoozers and losers. Jeri Blank, you said it sister.
12. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #15)
Aahh, now this makes me feel better! Hyde and the gang are making their way up the Countdown this week with what may be the most…interesting video I have seen in a few months. Hell, it’s just good to see them back!
11. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
I CHOOSE YOUUUUUUU, BABY! This video moves up a BIG seven places this week, just outside the Top 10! Can the combined might of Outkast and UGK take the Countdown by storm? The are off to a great start! We have made it to the Top 10!
10. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #12)
Well here is a familiar face! T.I. has his second Top 10 of the year and is looking for his 2nd #1 video to boot! This video, despite being standard fare isn’t all that bad and the song is just bangin. DAMN YOU MANNIE FRESH! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
9. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #9)
Fall Out Boy stalls this week at #9. My god…I hate Tag Body Spray! DAMMIT, but I love this song! Oohhhh….the irony.
8. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #10)
This may be a big year for Foxxi Misq! It looked like Daughtry was running away with the Chachi for Best New Artist but now it may be more than a one horse race! With two videos on the Countdown AND an album in a few weeks they may be ready to put their stamp on 2007! Oh…and they are fucking hawt. Can’t deny that.
7. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #4, Four weeks at #1)
Hero’s fall down! Nobodyknows+ falls another three spots this week after a dominant run. Here is looking for something new from these guys! And when are they going to change the intro/outro for Naruto: Shippuuden? Just curious…
6. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #7)
Hell yes. Abingdon Boys School is one step away from their first Top 5 video! Man, where in the fuck is their album?! GIMME NOW! Through playing around over here, I need my rock fix! We are into the Top 5 videos of the week, people!
5. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #6)
And here is a familiar face! Can we get a welcome back for Yui? Her hawtness has her 3rd straight video in the Top 5 and is looking to tie UVERworld and John Legend with three #1 videos with this one! Can she do it? Well, I got the single which means this is playing in the car so odds are high! Moving on…
4. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #2, One week at #1)
And sadly moving down. Yuna Ito falls two more spots after knocking the juggernaught that was nobodyknows+ from #1. Her new video at first was “meh” but after listening to it with the weather being not so bad it has really grown on me. And Yuna Ito in a dress? FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC! We are now ready for the biggest three rockin-est videos on the planet. And that’s way past Pluto.
3. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #5)
Orange Range has their 1st official Top 3 video! They have been working for a long ass time and have finally made it! This song kicks the ass and the video has finally out-shined the camp to grow on me. I’m a fan, and I hope you are! Two videos left…
2. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #3)
Rascal Flats moves up one more spot to the runner-up position this week with this video! It has been a long slow climb since March but they are looking to take #1 for the second time! Can they make it happen? If they do, they will have to try next week…
1. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #1, Two weeks at #1)
….because for the second straight week Maroon 5 holds down the throne! Now THIS is a get over it song! Have been playing this for about two days straight (along with Party Booty Shake, of course) and it is the mad notes! Duran Duran 2K7 forever! Congrats on the second week on top!
Well, that is all for this week peeps! Can Maroon 5 make it a 3rd straight week on top? Or can Rascal Flats make a ‘stand’ and take the #1 spot? Or can Orange Range continue their belated dominance and cap a career of excellence with a #1 video? Or will someone else jump up and take the crown from the kings? Tune in next Friday and find out! Until then, I will be back on Saturday (or Sunday depending on what I do) with a recap of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer! I don’t know why…I just will. Stay up, peeps!
Chachi Out!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First I have a new installment of something I haven’t done in MONTHS!
Bubbling Under!
First, we have a new video from a Japanese favorite of mine…
AI – I’ll Remember You
Hey, welcome back! It has been a LONG time since I had my AI fix and it is hella good to see her again. This video is simple goodness (reminds me a lot of Rascal Flats “Stand”) and the song is mid-tempo fun. A different vibe from “I Wanna Know” but still this is good stuff! Next there is a video from a band that is the antithesis of what I believe in…
My Chemical Romance – Teenagers
My god…I am afraid. When I first heard this song I knew there was a problem. It was emo, but it didn’t want to make me kill people. I tapped my toes to it and I was scared. Now there is a video and I have to download it because it is actually pretty damn good in a Marilyn Manson type of way. I don’t like emo kids, but some of the music has become pop/rock goodness (Evanescence, Fall Out Boy).
Well let’s get to the show! We start with a debut from a familiar face. The sexy familiar faces…
20. Foxxi Misq feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (New Entry)
Can this week GET ANY BETTER! The only thing better than one video on the Countdown from Foxxi MisQ is TWO videos on the Countdown by Foxxi MisQ! Not only do they bring me a sexy, saucy video for this song they also bring back Miss Monday! I haven’t seen her in a minute. Reminds me of Calypso from Pirates 3, though.
19. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #14)
So Miss Koda is on the verge of falling out of the Top 20 yet again. Her live rendition of “Sora” was pretty damn bad ass. And she was fully clothed! Well, as fully clothed as Kumi Koda gets these days. I like it when she gives me a little mystery. Here is to the video for “Run For Your Life” soon! I love that song!
18. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (New Entry)
YES! OH, MY FUCKING GOD YES! IT FEELS SO GOOD! GACKT IS FUCKING BACK! This video…has created a paradigm shift in how epic videos will be filmed from this point on! Anyone know where I can find subbed episodes of Fūrin Kazan? It is like 20 episodes in and I can’t find it (also haven’t TRIED very hard but still it’s FUCKING GACKT). Even still, this video RULES YOUR FACE. It is the front runner for Video of the Year, peeps. Oh, and he is hawt. Can’t forget that.
17. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (Last Week #20)
Speaking of hawt, Enrique burn up three places this week! This song has really grown on me (like most songs about heartbreak do because I am ‘teh heartbreak’) and the video has a nice mix of sexy and funny. Good stuff.
16. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #8, Plunge of the Week)
Well, the honeymoon is almost over. Avril falls EIGHT spots this week, out of the Top 10 and almost out of the Countdown! She had an awesome run (two weeks at #2 behind the nobodyknows+ month long reign) but she has had a steady decline since. A new single is out so a new video should follow!
15. M-Flo feat. Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (Last Week #13)
After hanging around for a long ass time (three months) outside the Top 10, Crystal Kay and M-Flo are finally falling. Man…I love Crystal Kay. And people poo-poo on interracial babies. She is a damn fine union of Black and Korean. To bad I am scared of Koreans or I could make babies like that.
14. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #16)
Daddy Yankee hops on Fergie’s manly shoulders and moves up two spots this week! This song is now on full rotation and Fergie makes me question my sexuality because from a distance she looks femine but up close she looks like Triple H with a nose job. SHE IS THE GAYEE-MUH!
13. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #11, one week at #1)
Yui is hawt. That is all. Oh, and this song pisses me off now. Solely the song, I still love Yui with all my soul and being. Just know that women are users, smoozers and losers. Jeri Blank, you said it sister.
12. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #15)
Aahh, now this makes me feel better! Hyde and the gang are making their way up the Countdown this week with what may be the most…interesting video I have seen in a few months. Hell, it’s just good to see them back!
11. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
I CHOOSE YOUUUUUUU, BABY! This video moves up a BIG seven places this week, just outside the Top 10! Can the combined might of Outkast and UGK take the Countdown by storm? The are off to a great start! We have made it to the Top 10!
10. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #12)
Well here is a familiar face! T.I. has his second Top 10 of the year and is looking for his 2nd #1 video to boot! This video, despite being standard fare isn’t all that bad and the song is just bangin. DAMN YOU MANNIE FRESH! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
9. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #9)
Fall Out Boy stalls this week at #9. My god…I hate Tag Body Spray! DAMMIT, but I love this song! Oohhhh….the irony.
8. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #10)
This may be a big year for Foxxi Misq! It looked like Daughtry was running away with the Chachi for Best New Artist but now it may be more than a one horse race! With two videos on the Countdown AND an album in a few weeks they may be ready to put their stamp on 2007! Oh…and they are fucking hawt. Can’t deny that.
7. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #4, Four weeks at #1)
Hero’s fall down! Nobodyknows+ falls another three spots this week after a dominant run. Here is looking for something new from these guys! And when are they going to change the intro/outro for Naruto: Shippuuden? Just curious…
6. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #7)
Hell yes. Abingdon Boys School is one step away from their first Top 5 video! Man, where in the fuck is their album?! GIMME NOW! Through playing around over here, I need my rock fix! We are into the Top 5 videos of the week, people!
5. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #6)
And here is a familiar face! Can we get a welcome back for Yui? Her hawtness has her 3rd straight video in the Top 5 and is looking to tie UVERworld and John Legend with three #1 videos with this one! Can she do it? Well, I got the single which means this is playing in the car so odds are high! Moving on…
4. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #2, One week at #1)
And sadly moving down. Yuna Ito falls two more spots after knocking the juggernaught that was nobodyknows+ from #1. Her new video at first was “meh” but after listening to it with the weather being not so bad it has really grown on me. And Yuna Ito in a dress? FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC! We are now ready for the biggest three rockin-est videos on the planet. And that’s way past Pluto.
3. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #5)
Orange Range has their 1st official Top 3 video! They have been working for a long ass time and have finally made it! This song kicks the ass and the video has finally out-shined the camp to grow on me. I’m a fan, and I hope you are! Two videos left…
2. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #3)
Rascal Flats moves up one more spot to the runner-up position this week with this video! It has been a long slow climb since March but they are looking to take #1 for the second time! Can they make it happen? If they do, they will have to try next week…
1. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #1, Two weeks at #1)
….because for the second straight week Maroon 5 holds down the throne! Now THIS is a get over it song! Have been playing this for about two days straight (along with Party Booty Shake, of course) and it is the mad notes! Duran Duran 2K7 forever! Congrats on the second week on top!
Well, that is all for this week peeps! Can Maroon 5 make it a 3rd straight week on top? Or can Rascal Flats make a ‘stand’ and take the #1 spot? Or can Orange Range continue their belated dominance and cap a career of excellence with a #1 video? Or will someone else jump up and take the crown from the kings? Tune in next Friday and find out! Until then, I will be back on Saturday (or Sunday depending on what I do) with a recap of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer! I don’t know why…I just will. Stay up, peeps!
Chachi Out!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
I Stays Dropping The Knowledge For Ya'll!
What is up peeps! First off, for my Blogger peeps this is my 350th post! I want to thank you all for coming (189 new visitors this month and counting! It’s only the 14th!) and I hope you enjoy what you have read! Odds are…not so much. Welcome to the party, n00bs!
Well, it is Thursday and you know what that means! Cue up Loverboy for tomorrow because it is almost the weekend! Tomorrow is the Countdown and today I just have a real quick post because I have been getting a lot of questions from people of other races because…well usually I am their only Black friend most of the find. Being as that I am a good resource as a “Born Again Negro” (GOD DAMN THAT IS FUNNY!) I am mostly just sick of your fucking questions and misconceptions. So today it is time. Time to bust a rhyme? Nah, son it is time for…
Passion of Chachi Omnibus II: Black Man’s Burden Edition!
Today I will address the questions I have been asked over the last 12 months or so by other races because you are fuckers and I am sick of your ignorance. This coming from the guy that wants Turkey blown off the map. It’s Constantinople, GET IT RIGHT YOU SWARTHY BASTARDS! First off is a question that has been asked since that fateful day his car chase interrupted the Season Finale of Family Matters (OH, I was so pissed!)….
Question #1: Do Blacks Really Believe OJ Simpson Didn’t Kill Nicole Brown-Simpson and Ron Goldman
Well…yes and no. You see, there is one word to describe Black people that they will damn near never admit: spiteful. At almost all junctures in time, Black people will take any opportunity to stick it to someone else, especially Whites. It’s why we support Barry Bonds (I don’t really give a fuck, I’m all about Andruw Jones), Kobe Bryant (Proof that anal sex with White women should only be done in movies by Lexington Steel) and R. Kelly (Who actually committed Black on Black urination but a “victory” for Blacks is a “victory” for Blacks even if it is Pyrrhic) so much.
The simple fact is that it is hard to kill two people with one knife. Hell, I couldn’t kill ONE ninja with TWO swords in Ninja Gaiden for the X-Box, so how can one aging Black athlete kill two White people with one shank? It is a rather far fetched thing to grasp because if I ever see somebody getting stabbed I am OUT. Just based on that fact alone, there is enough of a doubt for Blacks to say “Oh, he aint do that shit!” and that quite simply is all they need.
Okay, the real question isn’t if they think he killed them. Few Blacks will say yes because…well they have to keep the lie going. Now I cannot speak for anyone else for this but at the All Black Hands meetings (once a month or so at sometime in August or September. It’s like a party, it starts when people start rolling in) it is kind of accepted that we don’t ever say he did it. We all know he did though, but as long as it pisses off White people they will deny it. So Whites, stop getting upset and I guarantee OJ will say “Yeah I did it! I cried two tears in a bucket, fuck it! Let’s take it to the stage!”
Answer: Of course OJ is innocent! (God, I must be the only Black person that thinks he DID do it. But I aint going to rock the boat)
Next is a question that I thoughally despise because once again, I am one of the few Black people going against the grain on this…
Question #2: Do All Blacks Really Love Watermelon?
Mother fuck. I hate this shit. First off, I will only have watermelon if there is no other fruit available. What?! A Black person that doesn’t like watermelon? Shenanigans! I have this conversation with Griff all the time because whenever I go someplace and I am offered watermelon I kindly say no. Black people look at me like I just raped their dog while Whites look at me like “No fucking way. NO FUCKING WAY!” Okay, I am going to level with you. Black people really do love watermelon, despite the racist stigma attached to it. Yes, they gobble it up the same way White people eat cantelope (I’ve seen you, White people!) and spit out the seeds rapid fire like in those offensive ass Warner Brothers cartoons. God, it even makes their lips shine and they make that retarded ass smile like sambo statues back in the 1920’s (Or 2005 in the South. Fuck the South). It is fucking disgusting. Even still…they love it. Yes, just like your encyclopedia says. Without fail, ask a Black person if they want some watermelon and after they kick your ass for being a racist prick (Which I didn’t, funny story if you want to hear it but I couldn’t kick her ass because she was different like that) they will say “Yes, that would be quite a tasty treat.”
Answer: Sadly yes. Chalk one up for Whitey.
Question #3: Do All Black People Love Fried Chicken?
Yes. Simple answer. Yes, that stuff is DELICIOUS! Hell, all people love fried chicken! It is the tastiest off all the fried poultry! I hate how every neighborhood with a Black majority population has a Popeyes (And a gun store, liquor store, check cashing location and a Korean market. No shit, it is infuriating) but hey it’s good eating! White people eat fried chicken, too! They just don’t glorify it as much because you all are faking the funk. Or faking the fowl. So yes, your assumptions are right. Although I will say that it’s not just fried chicken. Barbequed, baked, broiled, sautéed, braised, rotisserie it doesn’t matter. Chicken is the flavor of life, fuck a Lifesaver candy!
Answer: Fuck yeah. Fried chicken is good and good for you!
Question #4: Juice vs. Drink. What is the deal?
Okay, you heard Dave Chappelle mention it and Griff, Carl and I used to talk about this all the time when we had real jobs and got to partake in this mythical ‘juice’ the wealthy had been enjoying for so long. I tell you what, as good as juice may be, nothing cools you down on a hot ass summer day than a tall glass of icy cold grape drink. Juice doesn’t quench thirst! It mixes with alcohol and that is about it! I mean, using orange drink in a mimosa just doesn’t see…right. An “apple-drink-tini” sounds gayer than an “appletini” and trust me, as one who will divulge in an appletini every now and again (not as much now) I know that drink is as queer as Kansas City in springtime. Wow….I don’t even get that joke. I remember Griff was my roommate I went and got me some jugs of juice from the Mart and I was as happy as Akon at a Trinidad all-girls school Homecoming dance. Remember the jugs of juice, Beth? They were actually jugs of DRINK! Wasn’t no juice in them jugs! You know what? It was still tasty as all hell! The simple fact is drink is cheap, tasty and multi-purpose. You can have drink for breakfast (Fortified with NO essential vitamins or minerals, fishes!), lunch (Let me get a #1 and a medium orange drink!) and even at night (SHAWTY LET ME BUY YOU SOME APPLE DRAAAAAANK! See, if T-Pain said that his song may not be so shitty. Naaaaah…)! Juice is really only for breakfast. Hell, you can’t even get orange juice after 10:30am in most places! You can get yo drank on 24/7!
Answer: Drank is nutritious, delicious and most importantly BALLIN! Although I am all about that Cherry Limeade. That’s the only real good juice.
Question #5: What is With Grillz, Spinning Rims, Spinning Chains, Gaudy Chains, LED, Belt Buckles, Jeweled Crucifixes, White Tees, Those Technicolor Dream Coat Nikes, Sidekicks, Jeweled Belt Buckles and any other God Awful Fashion Trend?
Simple answer for this one.
Answer: Niggas and their money are soon parted. The stupider and more expensive the better.
Bonus Question!!!
Question #6: What is with Snapping, Crumping, Walking It Out, Hyphy and the New Dances?
*Sigh* Well, after about…sixty years of being trend setters (The only real dance craze that wasn’t based of something Blacks did was The Lambada. It’s the FORBIDDEN DANCE) they have finally run out of ideas. The last real cool dance was the Harlem Shake.
Even that went to the wayside due to the dislocated shoulders that occurred from it. I remember I popped my shoulder back in 2003 at that Latino Student Union dance; I was out of commission for two month from the dance floor! I was back in time for the “Shoulder Lean” though. The fact is for the most part everything has been done. That’s why so many women are dancing like strippers. They all aren’t morons (a good 60% are, though), they just have no new dances and no originality. Besides, my dances don’t take off, and I have been putting in work! Over the last 3 years I have created:
The Clock (WHAT TIME IS IT?! PARTY TIME!)
The Rodeo Phone
The Manual
The Secretary
The Lollipop Guild
The Lumberjack
The Blue MeanieThe I Like Your Booty But I’m Not Gay
The Machine Gun
The Power Ranger
The Slalom
The Jesus (That….didn’t go over so well)
The Butt Magnet (Not how it sounds. Wait, it is exactly how it sounds)
The Chattanooga Choo-Choo (WHOO-WHOO!)
The Pirate
And not a ONE TOOK OFF! Well, The Clock did that one time at Graham Central Station but that was YEARS ago. The fact is that the days of The Running Man, The Roger Rabbit, The Bus Stop, The Kid ‘N’ Play Kick Step and even The Electric Slide are over. We are stuck with…well what we began with. Shucking and jiving…err…”Chicken Noodle Soup”
Man, fucking Black people. I will be waiting in the fields in Alabama with a bale of cotton singing “Dixie”.
Note, peeps. This is all in fun! If you take this seriously and think I am the mouthpiece for all the Black people (and you 17 fucknuts that want to be referred to as African-American) then you my friend are a nerd. I will be back tomorrow for the Top 20 Video Countdown. Until then, stay up. I’m gonna go and get me some DRANK!
Chachi Out.
Well, it is Thursday and you know what that means! Cue up Loverboy for tomorrow because it is almost the weekend! Tomorrow is the Countdown and today I just have a real quick post because I have been getting a lot of questions from people of other races because…well usually I am their only Black friend most of the find. Being as that I am a good resource as a “Born Again Negro” (GOD DAMN THAT IS FUNNY!) I am mostly just sick of your fucking questions and misconceptions. So today it is time. Time to bust a rhyme? Nah, son it is time for…
Passion of Chachi Omnibus II: Black Man’s Burden Edition!
Today I will address the questions I have been asked over the last 12 months or so by other races because you are fuckers and I am sick of your ignorance. This coming from the guy that wants Turkey blown off the map. It’s Constantinople, GET IT RIGHT YOU SWARTHY BASTARDS! First off is a question that has been asked since that fateful day his car chase interrupted the Season Finale of Family Matters (OH, I was so pissed!)….
Question #1: Do Blacks Really Believe OJ Simpson Didn’t Kill Nicole Brown-Simpson and Ron Goldman
Well…yes and no. You see, there is one word to describe Black people that they will damn near never admit: spiteful. At almost all junctures in time, Black people will take any opportunity to stick it to someone else, especially Whites. It’s why we support Barry Bonds (I don’t really give a fuck, I’m all about Andruw Jones), Kobe Bryant (Proof that anal sex with White women should only be done in movies by Lexington Steel) and R. Kelly (Who actually committed Black on Black urination but a “victory” for Blacks is a “victory” for Blacks even if it is Pyrrhic) so much.
The simple fact is that it is hard to kill two people with one knife. Hell, I couldn’t kill ONE ninja with TWO swords in Ninja Gaiden for the X-Box, so how can one aging Black athlete kill two White people with one shank? It is a rather far fetched thing to grasp because if I ever see somebody getting stabbed I am OUT. Just based on that fact alone, there is enough of a doubt for Blacks to say “Oh, he aint do that shit!” and that quite simply is all they need.
Okay, the real question isn’t if they think he killed them. Few Blacks will say yes because…well they have to keep the lie going. Now I cannot speak for anyone else for this but at the All Black Hands meetings (once a month or so at sometime in August or September. It’s like a party, it starts when people start rolling in) it is kind of accepted that we don’t ever say he did it. We all know he did though, but as long as it pisses off White people they will deny it. So Whites, stop getting upset and I guarantee OJ will say “Yeah I did it! I cried two tears in a bucket, fuck it! Let’s take it to the stage!”
Answer: Of course OJ is innocent! (God, I must be the only Black person that thinks he DID do it. But I aint going to rock the boat)
Next is a question that I thoughally despise because once again, I am one of the few Black people going against the grain on this…
Question #2: Do All Blacks Really Love Watermelon?
Mother fuck. I hate this shit. First off, I will only have watermelon if there is no other fruit available. What?! A Black person that doesn’t like watermelon? Shenanigans! I have this conversation with Griff all the time because whenever I go someplace and I am offered watermelon I kindly say no. Black people look at me like I just raped their dog while Whites look at me like “No fucking way. NO FUCKING WAY!” Okay, I am going to level with you. Black people really do love watermelon, despite the racist stigma attached to it. Yes, they gobble it up the same way White people eat cantelope (I’ve seen you, White people!) and spit out the seeds rapid fire like in those offensive ass Warner Brothers cartoons. God, it even makes their lips shine and they make that retarded ass smile like sambo statues back in the 1920’s (Or 2005 in the South. Fuck the South). It is fucking disgusting. Even still…they love it. Yes, just like your encyclopedia says. Without fail, ask a Black person if they want some watermelon and after they kick your ass for being a racist prick (Which I didn’t, funny story if you want to hear it but I couldn’t kick her ass because she was different like that) they will say “Yes, that would be quite a tasty treat.”
Answer: Sadly yes. Chalk one up for Whitey.
Question #3: Do All Black People Love Fried Chicken?
Yes. Simple answer. Yes, that stuff is DELICIOUS! Hell, all people love fried chicken! It is the tastiest off all the fried poultry! I hate how every neighborhood with a Black majority population has a Popeyes (And a gun store, liquor store, check cashing location and a Korean market. No shit, it is infuriating) but hey it’s good eating! White people eat fried chicken, too! They just don’t glorify it as much because you all are faking the funk. Or faking the fowl. So yes, your assumptions are right. Although I will say that it’s not just fried chicken. Barbequed, baked, broiled, sautéed, braised, rotisserie it doesn’t matter. Chicken is the flavor of life, fuck a Lifesaver candy!
Answer: Fuck yeah. Fried chicken is good and good for you!
Question #4: Juice vs. Drink. What is the deal?
Okay, you heard Dave Chappelle mention it and Griff, Carl and I used to talk about this all the time when we had real jobs and got to partake in this mythical ‘juice’ the wealthy had been enjoying for so long. I tell you what, as good as juice may be, nothing cools you down on a hot ass summer day than a tall glass of icy cold grape drink. Juice doesn’t quench thirst! It mixes with alcohol and that is about it! I mean, using orange drink in a mimosa just doesn’t see…right. An “apple-drink-tini” sounds gayer than an “appletini” and trust me, as one who will divulge in an appletini every now and again (not as much now) I know that drink is as queer as Kansas City in springtime. Wow….I don’t even get that joke. I remember Griff was my roommate I went and got me some jugs of juice from the Mart and I was as happy as Akon at a Trinidad all-girls school Homecoming dance. Remember the jugs of juice, Beth? They were actually jugs of DRINK! Wasn’t no juice in them jugs! You know what? It was still tasty as all hell! The simple fact is drink is cheap, tasty and multi-purpose. You can have drink for breakfast (Fortified with NO essential vitamins or minerals, fishes!), lunch (Let me get a #1 and a medium orange drink!) and even at night (SHAWTY LET ME BUY YOU SOME APPLE DRAAAAAANK! See, if T-Pain said that his song may not be so shitty. Naaaaah…)! Juice is really only for breakfast. Hell, you can’t even get orange juice after 10:30am in most places! You can get yo drank on 24/7!
Answer: Drank is nutritious, delicious and most importantly BALLIN! Although I am all about that Cherry Limeade. That’s the only real good juice.
Question #5: What is With Grillz, Spinning Rims, Spinning Chains, Gaudy Chains, LED, Belt Buckles, Jeweled Crucifixes, White Tees, Those Technicolor Dream Coat Nikes, Sidekicks, Jeweled Belt Buckles and any other God Awful Fashion Trend?
Simple answer for this one.
Answer: Niggas and their money are soon parted. The stupider and more expensive the better.
Bonus Question!!!
Question #6: What is with Snapping, Crumping, Walking It Out, Hyphy and the New Dances?
*Sigh* Well, after about…sixty years of being trend setters (The only real dance craze that wasn’t based of something Blacks did was The Lambada. It’s the FORBIDDEN DANCE) they have finally run out of ideas. The last real cool dance was the Harlem Shake.
Even that went to the wayside due to the dislocated shoulders that occurred from it. I remember I popped my shoulder back in 2003 at that Latino Student Union dance; I was out of commission for two month from the dance floor! I was back in time for the “Shoulder Lean” though. The fact is for the most part everything has been done. That’s why so many women are dancing like strippers. They all aren’t morons (a good 60% are, though), they just have no new dances and no originality. Besides, my dances don’t take off, and I have been putting in work! Over the last 3 years I have created:
The Clock (WHAT TIME IS IT?! PARTY TIME!)
The Rodeo Phone
The Manual
The Secretary
The Lollipop Guild
The Lumberjack
The Blue MeanieThe I Like Your Booty But I’m Not Gay
The Machine Gun
The Power Ranger
The Slalom
The Jesus (That….didn’t go over so well)
The Butt Magnet (Not how it sounds. Wait, it is exactly how it sounds)
The Chattanooga Choo-Choo (WHOO-WHOO!)
The Pirate
And not a ONE TOOK OFF! Well, The Clock did that one time at Graham Central Station but that was YEARS ago. The fact is that the days of The Running Man, The Roger Rabbit, The Bus Stop, The Kid ‘N’ Play Kick Step and even The Electric Slide are over. We are stuck with…well what we began with. Shucking and jiving…err…”Chicken Noodle Soup”
Man, fucking Black people. I will be waiting in the fields in Alabama with a bale of cotton singing “Dixie”.
Note, peeps. This is all in fun! If you take this seriously and think I am the mouthpiece for all the Black people (and you 17 fucknuts that want to be referred to as African-American) then you my friend are a nerd. I will be back tomorrow for the Top 20 Video Countdown. Until then, stay up. I’m gonna go and get me some DRANK!
Chachi Out.
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