I have ranted about this topic no less than three times and every time I think that people have finally realized that video games are a fucking medium and should be monitored by parents/kids not being idiots and not developers (although sometimes they can be dumbasses)...I hear about this shit.
First off: sex isn’t new. I saw the Mass Effect sex scene. Parental discretion not advised because it IS FUCKING POLYGONS AND RENDERED GRAPHICS. If you whip it out or click the button over this than no warning is going to help your stupid ass:
You know what? I have seen worse on prime time TV. No shit, have you seen CSI or Law & Order? From violence to language to sexuality I have seen a lot worse on TV that is in easier access to kids than video games. Secondly....and most importantly....XBOX360 GAMES ARE $60 FUCKING DOLLARS! Where are the kids getting this money? Parents. If parents aren’t going to take the extra 5 seconds to ask "what's this $60 bucks for" then you don’t deserve to be fucking parents and when your kids end up shooting someone because of GTA4 then you should go to jail, not them. Hell, when I was younger I couldn’t get $5 without the third degree. For $60 I had to give my left foot as collateral! I aint lying, ask Griff!
You know....people have been bitching about violence and sex in video games since fucking Ms. Pac-Man (She deepthroats like a fucking champ) and every time everybody stands around yelling "robble robble robble" until people realize that you have to pay to get this shit or you have to pirate it and either way if your kids get it then the result is because of one thing if kids get “offensive” video games: bad parenting. I am a believer in rights but I also believe that developers have a responsibility to make GOOD games, not righteous games. At the end of the day, there are several kinds of gamers and that means there should be several types of games. Sadly, there is a market for Manhunt 2, that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be made because it isn’t for everyone. Now the slippery slope folk will say that this logic leads to “NAMBLA’S Boy Fighter 2: Teenage Turbo Handjob Edition” but you know what? That will never be made by a developer because:
• It’s illegal (AH DUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!)
• This game would odds are run off the fucking Way of the Warrior engine.
That would totally suck balls. You know what; I’m not EVEN GOING TO MAKE THE FUCKING JOKE. Even I have my limits. Long story short, complaining about sex in video games is like complaining about Jesus in Southern schools: as long as there are fucktards, it aint going nowhere. Get Jesus out of schools and government and MAYBE gamers will think about not supporting titties in video games. Fuck Jesus, he doesn’t belong in video games unless he is dying or going all Kratos on mother fuckers. Now God of War with Jesus having crucifixes chained to his hands? THAT is a game I will happily spend EIGHTY BUCKS for. Until then, I like my video games with great graphics, an awesome story, thumb-blistering action and more jubblies than I can shake a Wii at. Yes, that means the controller and not a penis.
Kevin McCullough needs to worry about the real problem: evolving piñatas.
Now THAT is godless, evil and eerie shit. I’ll be back on Friday, maybe before. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
