Alright, peeps. It is time for a mid-day update. I know these are rare, but sometimes I get heated and need to vent. With that being said, do you ever feel like being yourself is an endless battle between what is expected and what you actually do? There are times I just feel like it is totally pointless being an individual because no matter what you do or say, people believe what the fuck they want no matter how many times you prove them wrong.
Case in point: why am I always expected to like rap music just because I am Black? People always talk to me like a G-Unit reject because they figure I know exactly what they mean. Well even though I do (and usually they are using the terms incorrectly anyway) that doesn’t mean your stupid ass can go and assume what I like and know. I like J-Pop a hell of a lot more than I like rap, but no one assumes that.
Also, I hate it that women assume that I cannot control myself around women being stupid. Some would call this ‘women being sexy’ but I find what is sexy stupid and what I find sexy is lame so it doesn’t matter. When a woman is half dressed or dancing provocatively (There go the BIG WORDS again) my first action isn’t to lose my mind and say ‘booty butt, booty butt, booty butt cheeks’ or just yell ‘that’s titty!’ My first action is to say ‘God dammit’ because when you give the lowest common denominator, you GET the lowest common denominator. When a woman says ‘If you saw women dancing on a pole you would react like the rest’ it just pisses me off because first off they haven’t seen me in action and don’t know HOW I WOULD FUCKING RESPOND. Secondly, I don’t think of myself as better than anyone else (riiiiiight) but I know what I likes and don’t. I don’t like women behaving stupidly, much like I can’t stand MEN behaving stupidly. By acknowledging the behavior of women dancing on poles in a place where it is not expected (you all know where, I’m not even going to start) you are reinforcing their stupidity and therefore being stupid. Stupidity begets stupidity. My god, I should get paid for this because I fucking RAWK.
Let me make one thing clear; I don’t hate women. This isn’t about my not respecting them or their opinions. This is about how I personally feel about the lack of acceptance of people and views outside of the norm. The issue I have is that the norm has been lowered due to the Dumbening of America. Standards of common sense and decency are so skewed that people are all over the place. I have been told I am wrong in my views a lot, but people cant defend their views with logic or fact (or even emotion for that matter and you know how I feel about those arguments) while I can. Yet, I am still seen as wrong. Which is fine because I expect no less than an argument that cannot be backed up because we have become a nation where you don’t need to DEFEND a stance. I can defend my stance on women being stupid, the Dumbening of our nation, men being retarded and just the overall lack of common sense of people using logic and reason. Yet, no one can defend two drunk women dancing on a pole at a CLUB (not a gentlemen’s club, either) or a man taking a picture of said women without using ‘It’s their right’. Well guess what? Rights come with responsibilites. If you can’t see the responsibility of NOT dancing on a pole in public if you don’t want to be photographed OR you cant see the responsibility of have the respect and sense to NOT PHOTOGRAPH DRUNK GIRLS DANCING BECAUSE IT IS A DOUCHE THING TO DO then you don’t deserve to fucking have rights and you need to be shot in the damn face because you BRING NOTHING TO SOCIETY but ills and stupidity. Whew, that was a long sentence. It gets the point across, though.
In closing, don’t judge me and I wont judge you. I will comment on your ACTIONS because your actions may be stupid, but I won’t judge you. For those that say that I judge women you are false because I comment on their actions and lack of logical thought and reason. I don’t know every woman and would never judge their character. Just their actions. Same for everyone else no matter the age, creed, race or religion. Except the Irish.
Oh, and Tony Blair just went and fucked up about 5 years of war work with one statement. Good job, you just negated what we were there for. At least the troops are smarter than him.
Live, Laugh and Love.
Oh, AND WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN I PULL UP AND STOP?! Hell yeah. Funniest commercial of the year.
Monday, November 06, 2006
I Like You. I Like Sex. Is niiiiice.
What is up, peeps! I hope you had a sweet weekend! I know I did. So first things first. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is not a movie. It is a cinematic masterpiece that has created a paradigm shift in how movies will be created and filmed from this day forth. As a matter of fact, it is time for….
MASTER CHIEF CAPTIAN CHACHI GOES TO THE MOVIES!!!
Today’s film: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.
I saw this on Friday (Albeit a little somber due to MASSIVE amounts of sake. Hey, I’m a surly then apologetic drunk) night and all I can say is niiiiiiiice. Seriously, this was the funniest movie I have seen in years. Funnier than Grandma’s Boy, funnier than Pootie Tang. Even funnier than the Princess Bride. Yes, I know. I thought it was impossible as well. Yet, here we are talking about what may be the greatest cinematic masterpiece since Seven Samuari. There is not a point in this movie where you aren’t laughing. If you AREN’T laughing at this movie then you don’t know funny because there were parts of this movie that were downright hilarious. Just the whole premise of the movie (to create a documentary to raise money for Kazakhstan) was hilarious. Add that to the adventure of meeting people all around America and put them in awkward position (Black stripper/escort on a plantation? PRICELESS) and you have a recipe for a fun time. Although I could have done without the naked dudes (Even less, a naked man FIGHT) but even that was funny as shit. It may have been because I was drunk, though. I won’t ruin the movie for you, all I will say is SEE IT NOW! I MEAN IT! You will not be disappointed! The Chachi’s review is a no brainer. He gives this movie….
10 out of 10 stars!!!
So the next movie I will review will odds are be Happy Feet since everything else can and WILL SUCK. Man, movies really blow these days. You know what doesn’t blow? Death Note. This show is FUCKED UP. It is really moving Bleach out of the top spot as my favorite anime and after last nights Aqua Teen Hunger Force it is moving into favorite overall show territory. Even if you aren’t a fan of anime, give this show a whirl.
Okay, it is RANT TIME!! As you know, the majority of my rants are about women, religion and stupid people. Since the world is full of all three, I am never at a loss for anger. With that being said, I have a hard time grasping people who don’t get contextual humor. Let me explain what I mean by that. If someone asks me if I like something and I say that it will create a ‘paradigm shift’ common sense would say that shifting of a paradigm is major and that to say I liked it would be a fair assumption. However, whenever I use that phrase people look at me like I am speaking Latin. Now I don’t expect everyone to know what I mean at all times. However, there are times when just by listening or reading the prior tone and words that someone can put two and two together and figure out what I am talking about.
Nolan said it best: I should not be punished for an extensive vocabulary. Don’t get me wrong, I am not the smartest individual. One word: vignette. I had no idea how to pronounce that until a year ago, but I never used the word. I just used ‘short clip’ because I was unsure of it. I still knew what the fuck it meant just because I knew the spelling and couldn’t pronounce it. People always tell me not to use big words (especially women) when a common word can be used because it makes them feel stupid and makes me sound pretentious. My fault; it makes me sound like an asshole. Well you know what? FUCK YOU. Just because you don’t read books or watch the news or do anything that doesn’t involve celebrities or the foosball doesn’t make you any cooler or better. Knowledge is power, bitches. Oh, and just because you haven’t seen the show from where my joke came from doesn’t make the joke not funny. It makes you an idiot because the shows I watch rule all, fucky. I hate having a kick ass joke based off of Aqua Teen and no one gets it. However, someone yells ‘YEEEEAAHHH!’ or ‘Bling Bling!’ and everyone laughs like it is still cool to say that shit. Yet people say I am the unfunny one. The simple fact is, just because you don’t (or can’t) read and have no concept of words with more than two syllables doesn’t mean that those of us who do are nerds because we use them. It makes us funnier because we can create more than just poopy jokes. Oh, and politics are funny. Quite acting like it is such a big fucking deal because it is NOT. Take a joke, the troops ARE FUCKING STUPID. Live with it, they are the best we got and I will back them. They are NOT Rhodes Scholars. Hell, they aren’t even Pikes Peak Community College material and they take ANYBODY. It’s the Wal-Mart of education. I just had to get that out.
So I believe that it is time to list the best anime opening/closing themes of all time. I will work on that this weekend. After hearing some old school Gundam themes I am really thinking it is about that time to do this. Chobits opening WILL be on there. I love that song.
Well, being Monday I have to act like I care and do stuff. I will try to be back tomorrow. Go see the Borat! Is niiice!
Stay up, peeps.
Live, Laugh and Love.
MASTER CHIEF CAPTIAN CHACHI GOES TO THE MOVIES!!!
Today’s film: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.
I saw this on Friday (Albeit a little somber due to MASSIVE amounts of sake. Hey, I’m a surly then apologetic drunk) night and all I can say is niiiiiiiice. Seriously, this was the funniest movie I have seen in years. Funnier than Grandma’s Boy, funnier than Pootie Tang. Even funnier than the Princess Bride. Yes, I know. I thought it was impossible as well. Yet, here we are talking about what may be the greatest cinematic masterpiece since Seven Samuari. There is not a point in this movie where you aren’t laughing. If you AREN’T laughing at this movie then you don’t know funny because there were parts of this movie that were downright hilarious. Just the whole premise of the movie (to create a documentary to raise money for Kazakhstan) was hilarious. Add that to the adventure of meeting people all around America and put them in awkward position (Black stripper/escort on a plantation? PRICELESS) and you have a recipe for a fun time. Although I could have done without the naked dudes (Even less, a naked man FIGHT) but even that was funny as shit. It may have been because I was drunk, though. I won’t ruin the movie for you, all I will say is SEE IT NOW! I MEAN IT! You will not be disappointed! The Chachi’s review is a no brainer. He gives this movie….
10 out of 10 stars!!!
So the next movie I will review will odds are be Happy Feet since everything else can and WILL SUCK. Man, movies really blow these days. You know what doesn’t blow? Death Note. This show is FUCKED UP. It is really moving Bleach out of the top spot as my favorite anime and after last nights Aqua Teen Hunger Force it is moving into favorite overall show territory. Even if you aren’t a fan of anime, give this show a whirl.
Okay, it is RANT TIME!! As you know, the majority of my rants are about women, religion and stupid people. Since the world is full of all three, I am never at a loss for anger. With that being said, I have a hard time grasping people who don’t get contextual humor. Let me explain what I mean by that. If someone asks me if I like something and I say that it will create a ‘paradigm shift’ common sense would say that shifting of a paradigm is major and that to say I liked it would be a fair assumption. However, whenever I use that phrase people look at me like I am speaking Latin. Now I don’t expect everyone to know what I mean at all times. However, there are times when just by listening or reading the prior tone and words that someone can put two and two together and figure out what I am talking about.
Nolan said it best: I should not be punished for an extensive vocabulary. Don’t get me wrong, I am not the smartest individual. One word: vignette. I had no idea how to pronounce that until a year ago, but I never used the word. I just used ‘short clip’ because I was unsure of it. I still knew what the fuck it meant just because I knew the spelling and couldn’t pronounce it. People always tell me not to use big words (especially women) when a common word can be used because it makes them feel stupid and makes me sound pretentious. My fault; it makes me sound like an asshole. Well you know what? FUCK YOU. Just because you don’t read books or watch the news or do anything that doesn’t involve celebrities or the foosball doesn’t make you any cooler or better. Knowledge is power, bitches. Oh, and just because you haven’t seen the show from where my joke came from doesn’t make the joke not funny. It makes you an idiot because the shows I watch rule all, fucky. I hate having a kick ass joke based off of Aqua Teen and no one gets it. However, someone yells ‘YEEEEAAHHH!’ or ‘Bling Bling!’ and everyone laughs like it is still cool to say that shit. Yet people say I am the unfunny one. The simple fact is, just because you don’t (or can’t) read and have no concept of words with more than two syllables doesn’t mean that those of us who do are nerds because we use them. It makes us funnier because we can create more than just poopy jokes. Oh, and politics are funny. Quite acting like it is such a big fucking deal because it is NOT. Take a joke, the troops ARE FUCKING STUPID. Live with it, they are the best we got and I will back them. They are NOT Rhodes Scholars. Hell, they aren’t even Pikes Peak Community College material and they take ANYBODY. It’s the Wal-Mart of education. I just had to get that out.
So I believe that it is time to list the best anime opening/closing themes of all time. I will work on that this weekend. After hearing some old school Gundam themes I am really thinking it is about that time to do this. Chobits opening WILL be on there. I love that song.
Well, being Monday I have to act like I care and do stuff. I will try to be back tomorrow. Go see the Borat! Is niiice!
Stay up, peeps.
Live, Laugh and Love.
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