Monday, November 06, 2006

I Like You. I Like Sex. Is niiiiice.

What is up, peeps! I hope you had a sweet weekend! I know I did. So first things first. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is not a movie. It is a cinematic masterpiece that has created a paradigm shift in how movies will be created and filmed from this day forth. As a matter of fact, it is time for….

MASTER CHIEF CAPTIAN CHACHI GOES TO THE MOVIES!!!

Today’s film: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

I saw this on Friday (Albeit a little somber due to MASSIVE amounts of sake. Hey, I’m a surly then apologetic drunk) night and all I can say is niiiiiiiice. Seriously, this was the funniest movie I have seen in years. Funnier than Grandma’s Boy, funnier than Pootie Tang. Even funnier than the Princess Bride. Yes, I know. I thought it was impossible as well. Yet, here we are talking about what may be the greatest cinematic masterpiece since Seven Samuari. There is not a point in this movie where you aren’t laughing. If you AREN’T laughing at this movie then you don’t know funny because there were parts of this movie that were downright hilarious. Just the whole premise of the movie (to create a documentary to raise money for Kazakhstan) was hilarious. Add that to the adventure of meeting people all around America and put them in awkward position (Black stripper/escort on a plantation? PRICELESS) and you have a recipe for a fun time. Although I could have done without the naked dudes (Even less, a naked man FIGHT) but even that was funny as shit. It may have been because I was drunk, though. I won’t ruin the movie for you, all I will say is SEE IT NOW! I MEAN IT! You will not be disappointed! The Chachi’s review is a no brainer. He gives this movie….

10 out of 10 stars!!!

So the next movie I will review will odds are be Happy Feet since everything else can and WILL SUCK. Man, movies really blow these days. You know what doesn’t blow? Death Note. This show is FUCKED UP. It is really moving Bleach out of the top spot as my favorite anime and after last nights Aqua Teen Hunger Force it is moving into favorite overall show territory. Even if you aren’t a fan of anime, give this show a whirl.

Okay, it is RANT TIME!! As you know, the majority of my rants are about women, religion and stupid people. Since the world is full of all three, I am never at a loss for anger. With that being said, I have a hard time grasping people who don’t get contextual humor. Let me explain what I mean by that. If someone asks me if I like something and I say that it will create a ‘paradigm shift’ common sense would say that shifting of a paradigm is major and that to say I liked it would be a fair assumption. However, whenever I use that phrase people look at me like I am speaking Latin. Now I don’t expect everyone to know what I mean at all times. However, there are times when just by listening or reading the prior tone and words that someone can put two and two together and figure out what I am talking about.

Nolan said it best: I should not be punished for an extensive vocabulary. Don’t get me wrong, I am not the smartest individual. One word: vignette. I had no idea how to pronounce that until a year ago, but I never used the word. I just used ‘short clip’ because I was unsure of it. I still knew what the fuck it meant just because I knew the spelling and couldn’t pronounce it. People always tell me not to use big words (especially women) when a common word can be used because it makes them feel stupid and makes me sound pretentious. My fault; it makes me sound like an asshole. Well you know what? FUCK YOU. Just because you don’t read books or watch the news or do anything that doesn’t involve celebrities or the foosball doesn’t make you any cooler or better. Knowledge is power, bitches. Oh, and just because you haven’t seen the show from where my joke came from doesn’t make the joke not funny. It makes you an idiot because the shows I watch rule all, fucky. I hate having a kick ass joke based off of Aqua Teen and no one gets it. However, someone yells ‘YEEEEAAHHH!’ or ‘Bling Bling!’ and everyone laughs like it is still cool to say that shit. Yet people say I am the unfunny one. The simple fact is, just because you don’t (or can’t) read and have no concept of words with more than two syllables doesn’t mean that those of us who do are nerds because we use them. It makes us funnier because we can create more than just poopy jokes. Oh, and politics are funny. Quite acting like it is such a big fucking deal because it is NOT. Take a joke, the troops ARE FUCKING STUPID. Live with it, they are the best we got and I will back them. They are NOT Rhodes Scholars. Hell, they aren’t even Pikes Peak Community College material and they take ANYBODY. It’s the Wal-Mart of education. I just had to get that out.

So I believe that it is time to list the best anime opening/closing themes of all time. I will work on that this weekend. After hearing some old school Gundam themes I am really thinking it is about that time to do this. Chobits opening WILL be on there. I love that song.

Well, being Monday I have to act like I care and do stuff. I will try to be back tomorrow. Go see the Borat! Is niiice!

Stay up, peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

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