Alright, I guess I am back again. It has been about a week and the hangover from NDK is over (Got my ticket for next year and looking at going to Anime Nebraskon if anyone is interested) and I have finally gotten my bearings back…for more bullshit.
WHY IN THE FUCK ISN’T R.KELLY IN JAIL?! THAT NIGGA IS STILL MAKING MUSIC!
With Keri Hilson of all people. Now any woman that will work with R. Kelly AND Chris Brown has something wrong with her on all points but that is my personal opinion and this is my blog so if you don’t like it you can eat a dick and find something else on the web. Now I am not trying to JUSTIFY what anyone has done as a crime. Let’s look at this logically. R. Kelly peed on someone. Yes, Michael Vick punished dogs that lost their fight (Although I would say to you that if we killed the losers of sports more often, we would get a better product but I digress) and Plaxico Burress went to jail FOR SHOOTING HIS OWN DUMB ASS IN THE LEG FOR TWO GOD DAMN YEARS (A blog on that in a few days, actually. It is one reason I am boycotting New York because that is some dipshittery right there) but R. Kelly is documented ON TAPE in the ANNALS OF TIME PISSING ON SOMEONE! Even if that girl was a minor, that aint my concern. My concern is that a grown ass man peed on someone. What is wrong with your head that makes you pee on someone, on camera, that is underage and then have the nerve to say that it wasn’t you. It sure as hell wasn’t Avant, nigga!
He don’t even look like R. Kelly! Now I know Black people have some sort of issue with admitting the guilt of their “heroes” and I will agree. I defend Mike Vick from the logical aspect that once you pay a debt to society that you should have the right to ATTEMPT (I repeat to all you animal fags, ATTEMPT) to go back to work without people who think they are above reproach complain about his actions which in the grand scheme of things effect you in no way whatsoever. Yeah, I said it. I also sympathized with Rick James because…cocaine is a hell of a drug. Same with Ol’ Dirty Bastard. One love to Dirt Dog…
Kanye, THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT! Now I am sure if you have read this blog that my hatred of all things goes in line like this:
1. Jesus (He knows why)
2. Black People (If niggas read, they would know why. But since you don’t IT IS BECAUSE YOU DON’T READ! And didn’t support “Reading Rainbow.” LEVAR BURTON IS BLIND, YOU ASSHOLES)
3. Bros (Faux-hawk = you are gay. If you have one, wore one or are thinking of getting one you are gayer that a dick-sucking train at Kanye West’s house)
4. Conservatives (You cling to guns and religion because you can no longer cling to your cousin. Damn laws can’t stop my West Virginia lovin!)
5. R. KELLY (Okay, I like the “Ignition” remix because it is scandal proof but…HE IS NOT A TARGET! That child’s FACE was a target)
6. Christians/Catholics…fuck it, all of people that read a book with a fake ass deity that made shit from Play-Doh and a bottle of tequila
7. 50 Cent (He falls because I aint even seen his gorilla looking ass in like a year)
8. Turks (Swarthy bastards! Like Persians in hammerpants!)
9. Liberals (I hate hippies, so fucking much)
10. Women (Remember when I said being a woman was the new nigger? You are now at the back of the bus. DAMN, I KEEPS IT OFFENSIVE. Wow…that was NOT COOL)
So with all that said, my anger with R. Kelly really isn’t pointed at him because he didn’t pee on me (Now Keith Sweat on the other hand…) per se, but he did pee on the law and basic common sense. Now every persons defense of this nasty ass man is that is if…
Now that is a logical argument. I don’t see piss very often that isn’t coming from me, but if I saw it you best believe I am getting out of the stream and I am swinging on someone. The common sense aspect of this argument is…
WHY IN THE FUCK IS HE PEEING ON SOMEONE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE?!
Seriously, I am as open as the next person. However, if you engage in water sports, furrism (Is that how they say it? Who cares, furries shouldn’t be reading this anyway, they should be fucking each other in their hoppy bunny suits) or interspecies erotica (Sans collies, because they are the Angelina Jolie of the animal kingdom) then there is something wrong with your brain piece. Each their own, but that shit is gross. Ask anyone that saw my porn collection in the mid-2000’s, I was one freak of a dude but even I can’t condone another grown person pissing on a minor and say that shit is okay. Now two consenting adults peeing on each other…I’m cool with that. It’s not the first idea I would have for a good time but I also fantasize about a five-way with Kristen Chenoweth, Hyori Lee, Zac Efron and Princess Peach in a vat of applesauce so…what do I know?
Mmmm…can you imagine that with the Eff in a big tub of Mott’s Apple-Cinnamon applesauce? I can…and that shit is HOT. Anyway, back on the deviant (IRONY, it is priceless). At the end of the day, it’s the blatant denial of the fact that he doesn’t have a problem with young women that is shocking. I mean I like a loli as much as the next woodland animal but I would never pee on one. We all know about the Aaliyah situation (Rest her soul, I need me a resolution) and have heard rumors about others and he just acts like that shit is normal. Having young friends CAN be normal but…I think that peeing on them crosses a line of SOME SORT. Not sure which line, but it’s there.
Sorry, I just heard an R. Kelly song on the radio and I just felt like as bad as people have treated Chris Brown despite the fact Rihanna has a dome-piece that could kill a tyrannosaurs rex like Bonk from “Bonk’s Adventure” so odds are he was defending himself because she found the meat power-up…he never peed on her. I think, and if she did SHE IS GROWN AND KNOWS TO GET OUT OF THE WAY. Children are stupid and slow; it’s why they have their own zones and we have to drive slow in them. So we need to protect them from R. Kelly because piss comes faster than a car ever will.
And with that…I think I just jumped the shark. Almost 800 posts, I thought it would take a hell of a lot longer. Well, that is all for now. Countdown on Friday and maybe a post on Sunday depending on whether or not I go to D-Town or not. Until then, stay up.
AND NO PISSING ON MINORS!
Chachi Out
