So I wanted to talk about something that I spoke about this weekend while getting my soju and galbi on. To take a step back, I saw about three minutes of “Megan Wants A Millionaire” and something I always knew was cemented and reinforced:
WOMEN ARE SELFISH
Now aint a damn thing wrong with that. It is like the way I feel about being shallow. You CAN be shallow but know that you can never complain about being unhappy if you are going to exclude people because of how they look. Now when I mentioned this show to a female friend she AUTOMATICALLY got on the defensive and pretty much put “women like that” on the fringe which to me is total bullshit but I am just a man that is scared of Bolivians so who am I to disagree, right? Really though, it really brought up a question about what it means to not only be shallow, but to be selfish.
Now the discussion got onto vasectomies versus the tying of tubes and something very interesting came about that had just hit me. Now in places I have worked and with people I have hung out with, the majority of the time I end up hanging with older women because…well, I only like college football and despise most other male oriented entertainment which pretty much puts me as a queer to other men. Which I could care less about anyway seeing as how organized sports is just acceptable homoerotic behavior as far as I am concerned. Yep, I went there. Anyway, I guess I am the male version of Oprah because people open up to me with their feelings like I get paid for it and give a shit (Usually I do, but sometimes I just want to gouge your eyes out) and always talked about personal aspects that I just kind of sat back and listened to. One that came up was the “I don’t want any more kids” discussion to which I would say “either tie your tubes or take it on the chin” which I thought was hilarious but as usual was met with the standard pointless femdom. They always said “well how come the man can’t get HIS tubes tied?!”
Well, ladies you need to understand something. When a building is condemned, do block it off from the general populace? Or do you cut off the highway LEADING TO THE BUILDING? Exactly, you block off the building. If you cut the power off, do you shut off the breaker to the building or do you cut off the power to the whole county? Exactly. Now first off, I don’t think anyone should tie their tubes ever because it is killing ants with a sledgehammer. You don’t want kids? Keep sperm from out of your fucking vagina. It isn’t FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE! STOP FUCKING! OR FUCK SMARTER! OR SWALLOW! If you need to burn the crops and salt the Earth to stop something that you know how it occurs then you aren’t smart enough to be having sex.
Secondly, an important thought was brought up to me which I found on one end hilarious but on the other end painfully telling about how selfish the aspect of tying tubes is. For a man it takes about eight years for severed tubes to reconnect (Give or take, I’m no cockologist) which means that the troops are no longer marching for two Olympic years. Most marriages last between 5.7 and 7.1 years (Depending on the publications. Most Christian publications stated 10-12 years which is bullshit and liberal sites stated 2-4 years which I think is dead on but I have to be fair) which means that lets say they “decide” to have the man snip his tunnel two years in. That means if they get divorced in two years that she is free to get knocked up by some other motherfucker while he is shooting empty like a slip-n-slide with no people for the next few years. So quite simply, this is why I believe women want men to get vasectomies rather than them getting their tubes tied:
It’s not that they don’t want ANY more kids; they just don’t want to have any more of YOUR kids.
Science, peeps. I drops it. Call me Dr. Chachi. Hope you had a good laugh because I sure as hell did. I will be back another day.
Chachi Out
