God...that title is why I only have six friends. And three of them want a spare kidney. Right her, assholes. Okay, I am back once again after a pretty big hiatus…of three days. For you people that were waiting for a post, you all have a LOT OF FRICKING NERVE. With that out of the way, it is about time for…
Random Thoughts!
Random Thought #1: Who In The Fuck Still Watches Lost?!
Understand this…right now…if you still watch “Lost” then you are a bloodclot on society and are the reason why Chance of Love stays on the air but Animaniacs gets cancelled. A show about a bunch of fuckwits on an island has been done twice already and a HELL OF A LOT BETTER with Gilligan’s Island and of course The Facts of Life:
Mmmm….Meredith Baxter-Birney burnin, burnin in my sooooouuuuul! How is THAT for an obscure pop culture reference? Check and mate. Anyway, I have seen two episodes of Lost. TWO…and they sucked. One they were on the island and running and the next one they were on the island and running. And someone got shot. Oh, and someone asked “WHAT’S GOING ON!” while spinning in a circle in the rain which was done and a lot boobier in “I Know What You Did Last Summer” with my baby boo Jennifer Love Hewitt with a lot more emphasis on awesome. I kind of see Lost the same way I see Heroes: a good attempt at an unoriginal idea that gets wrapped up in its own sense of suckitude. Kind of like what happened to Saved By The Bell after a while, once Zack and Slater accepted they were boyfriend and boyfriend. Now there was a lot of suckitude going on there if you get my drift! Innuendo…it’s spreading.
Random Thought #2: Super Bowl? More Like The Suck Bowl!
Geez, this blog is going in the gutter faster than a back alley aborted baby. Yeah, a Dirty Dancing reference, too. I am ON IT TODAY! Seriously, the reality of the situation has set in and it seems like Pittsburg has the knack of drawing teams that have shitty sports markets (I love Seattle and would rather be there than Korea but when you lose a team to OKLAHOMA CITY then you don’t deserve anything ever from anyone sports-wise) into the biggest game of the year. Remember the snoozefest that was Seattle vs. Pittsburg a couple of years ago? Neither do I. The only good thing about this Super Bowl will be the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (GALVATRON, BITCHES! DRINK IT UP!) and the GI Joe trailers. Yes, you read that right. GI Joe is going to come to us in movie form this summer. Yes, I came hard. Let’s hope it is a little something like this:
FUCK YES! Can you imagine that with a budget now?! It will make the Lord of the Rings look like House Party 2! Or House Party 3! Although…why is Shipwreck flying a ship? Isn’t he the gay? THE NAVY DOESN’T ALLOW TEH GAYS! Anyway, the Super Bowl will suck but I will give my prediction which I have been right with for two straight years so I will go out on a limb and say…
Arizona Cardinals: 33
Pittsburg Steelers: 24
Why not? I mean if Mike Vick can go to jail for giving underprivileged dogs a place to exercise and meet new friends, why can’t the Cardinals win the Super Bowl? Yeah, someone will be offended by that shit.
Random Thought #3: So, It Looks Like I May Need To Learn To LIKE K-Dramas
I hate to cry so I used to avoid them but now I can’t get enough of them. Which is good because I just got emailed saying that I have passed the first part of getting into the English Teaching program in Korea. Yeah, THAT Korea. Nothing certain yet (Still have to get a background check and whatnot. Also, I am still debating it because it will put me poor in another country…but a country with GALBI, MOFO!) but I am halfway there and honestly it aint like there is much happening here. I would rather have Seattle and if they call in the interim then I am saying FUNK DAT and heading to the coast but I will keep all…six of you…posted. Shit, I need a bigger fan base.
Random Thought #4: Speaking Of Fanbases…
Who in the fuck is reading this thing and why? I noticed that I average about 7 readers a day (One of those is me because I count as a reader when I proofread the copy after the fact) for normal posts but during Douchebrawl I was getting up to 130 visitors a day, on Fridays for the Countdown I get about 40 and for the Chachi Music Video Awards I got 56 visitors. WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE DURING THE TIMES I PUT UP MY GEMS?! Remember my “Zebra Theory?” OF COURSE YOU DON’T! YOU WEREN’T THERE! When I threatened to kill a puppy if Rain didn’t come out with an album? YOU MISSED IT! I just want to be famous and be knee deep in jailbait Japanese schoolgirls with an assload of cash fetti to my name. Is that so wrong? Well, it is from a legal standpoint if you want to be a stickler about LAWS. And finally…
Random Thought #5: Man, FUNK DAT!
Question…whatever happened to Sagat?
MAN, FUNK DAT! Not sure why, but this has been in my head all day long. Man, 2009 has been WEIRD.
Alright, I am out. Countdown up on Friday and the Chachi Music Awards will be up on Sunday! I think! Yes! Wait…maybe! I will work on it! Be here anyway! Stay up, ya’ll!
Chachi Out
