It is officially over! The votes have been counted and we officially have a NEW CHAMPION OF DOUCHEBRAWL! You have waited long enough and here are the results!
3rd Annual Douchebrawl 2008 National Championship
(1) Bono Defeats (1) Tom Cruise
You read that right! After two straight years of losing in the Regional Finals Bono not only gets into the Finals, he wins the whole thing! Tom Cruise’s return to Douchebrawl he ran roughshod through the competition until the Finals where Bono jumped out to a 10 vote lead but he slowly made up ground to the point where he actually trailed by only 3 votes coming into Sunday morning! However, Bono was able to hold Tom off on the final day and he wins his first Douchebrawl title! It has been a long road for Bono and his douchery knows no bounds and this year he finally earns what has eluded him for so long. We are all proud of you, Bono. Like the Kobra Kai’s before you, you’re the best…around:
Congratulations to Bono! Your douchery is finally recognized by the peeps.
Thank you all for voting and I will see you for the 4th Annual Douchebrawl! Can Bono repeat?! See you in February of 2009!!
What is up, peeps?! It is a rather bleh Sunday and I am back for another update! Later on tonight we will find out the winner of Douchebrawl and it has become HELLA CLOSE after the last three days! Can Tom Cruise pull it out? Only your votes can decide!
So today I want to try something different. I have done the “Five Reason’s Why” a few times and it has been very effective in terms of being 100% correct so I think I want to run with that today for something that has been a discussion this week with a few friends of mine. Griff and I spoke about it earlier this week (As a distraction to what I would call the ultimate in douchery at work), Zach and I discussed it in the middle of this week and a female friend of mine and I spoke about this at length last week. There has been a term that has been used by (almost completely by) females for a while called their “male friends” or “platonic friends” as the French in France would say. After an interesting discussion with two people whose opinions are kind of important to me (Fuck you, Zach. “Can’t Stop This Thing We’ve Started” is the best Bryan Adams song! Both you and “Summer of 69” can go to HELL!) I finally came up with the answer to the age old question “Can men and women be friends?” The simple question to the answer is:
YES
Nothing is impossible, just look at Memphis beating UCLA on Saturday. WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP WITH THAT SHIT?! I don’t believe anyone saw that one coming. However, the LOGICAL answer on whether women and men can be friends is that it depends on the situation. At the base of the concept of “platonic friends” would mean that any relationship aspect would have to be removed. Since the nature of human beings is to not be alone (It’s true. Why do fucktards get married five times? It aint because of money because we are in a recession!) the relationship aspect isn’t removed as much as it is blocked. So that tension will always be there and that is a tension that is rarely seen in a same sex dynamic when it comes to friendship. I mean, I have never been attracted to any of my “male friends” (Although that “Bonnie Tyler Moment” at NDK with Nolan made our relationship awkward for a few days) and the fact that a good majority of women call and consider their male friends “male friends” AUTOMATICALLY puts them in a different category and distinction as their “female friends.” So with all that babble being added together, the REAL answer to whether men and women can truly be friends is:
YES, BUT ONLY IN TITLE.
And now….I will prove it. Let me regale you in my logic as Passion of Chachi proudly presents…
CHACHI’S FIVE REASONS WHY!
Today’s Topic: Why Men And Women Can’t Be “Friends”
This should be good. Let the hate mail commence!
Reason #1: Men And Women Cannot Be Friends Because….Women Want It Both Ways
Not in the good way either. Wait, I just watched Japanese porn and there really ISN’T a good way for both ways. It just looks like a pig on a spit….with jizz and sex toys. Ugh. Anyway, let’s look at this logically. At their core, having the coined term “male friend” or “female friend” automatically places this person in a box that means they are not like your other friends. It is like having a “Black friend” or a “white friend.” Now let’s tie this together. When a woman has a male friend it is expected for them not to be treated like they treat their male friends. You ever tried telling the same Jew joke to a woman that you do to your homies? The response is never the same. When you just look at it basically, women want their male friends to either:
1. Conform to the mold of their female friends which means you listen to their problems/bad decisions and either reaffirm that even though they were wrong that they are actually right in the dreamworld I call “Bullshitastan” 2. Be the “male voice” to their illogical processes and actions which mean either you tell them what they WANT to hear or you are a “jerk” or “bad friend.” 3. Treat them like you would your OWN girlfriend but with none of the rewards. I will go more into this later.
Better yet, I will go into that now. Men treat their friends a certain way. Now generic terms would be that men treat their friends like shit and they do if they are bros or GI’s. The simple fact is that NORMAL MEN are able to sit back and hang out without having to be the center of attention. When I go out with my MALE FRIENDS we roll together. Not in that gay way but in a way where we either interact with eachother or with other people we meet. The conversations are dyadic (Unless it is a crew) and for the most part we are on an even keel in terms of topic or knowledge. Now if you hang out with a FEMALE FRIEND the first thing you have to realize is that you are not hanging out. You are a prop. You are like Jerome to Morris Motherfucking Day:
You go where SHE wants to go and do what SHE wants to do because you are being blessed to have a female friend in your tow. That in its essence shows an unhealthy relationship on both parties’ sides. I am not honored to be in my male friends’ presence nor are they supposed to act like the little dog in the Warner Brothers cartoons when they are with me. However, in my experience (and everyone who I posed this question and situation to as well) it has been that women need to be your focal point when they are hanging out with you much like you are dating them….when you AREN’T. If you DON’T make them the focal point then you are being a poor friend because at the core of all females, no matter what they look like or personality flaws they have, they HAVE to be the center of attention due to insecurity. So a male friend is seen as a sense of feminine security for a woman because they have a male that is not trying to sex them up but STILL sees them as the focal point of their time out. On the opposite side, normal men see friendship as a dyad (or more depending on numbers) and don’t need the others to feel like they are needed or accepted. Oh, and for you women that say “Men are needy! They look to their male friends for confirmation and security all the time!” I will say I agree. They are called bros and when they are done fucking you, they fuck each other. So when you inevitably suck their wang because that isn’t sex to a woman (LAUGHABLE!)….you are performing ATM. YOU NASTY!
In Closing: Women want their male friends to be boyfriends with no relationship aspect. (More on this later)
Reason #2: Men And Women Cannot Be Friends Because….Men Want It Both Ways
Aside from bros, that is a misleading statement. Now women aren’t the only ones that fuck up the dynamic of having friends of the opposite sex. Men have fewer ISSUES in the dynamic but their issues cause the biggest PROBLEMS because they are logically inept. Most men (and I will with CONFIDENCE say 75%) see having female friends in very simple and logical means to an end:
1. Inroads Into Other Women. Literally and figuratively. Women are like cats in that they thrive and feel safe in familiar surroundings and with known people. It is true; it’s why women introduce friends to friends all the time. SCIENCE, BITCHES! Now most men (see: ALL BUT ME!) didn’t realize that so they fell dick-first into a good idea like Reese’s. A man with a female friend gets introduced to women at a higher clip than “Drinkman” and usually to a more secure female than their friend because they don’t need to have themselves validated by having a male friend that likes them for their personality instead of their vagina. You see, it sucks that I am this smart because I think myself OUT of these situations but it is better to do that then actually have to interact with people because people suck. 2. In Her Moment Of Weakness…PUT IT IN THE BUTT! This is probably the funniest of all the reasons men have female friends because sadly I have been there and when I came to my senses I was usually in the awkward situation of having to tell her no which as you know by my female (and JOB) history I have a hard time doing. A lot of men are male friends solely for the fact that at some point they believe they can hit that. Women are walking drama machines so you know at some point something is going to happen in her life that will have her self-esteem zapped completely and she will be vulnerable to the advances of the “male friend.” Everyone knows that the easiest prey to catch is one that thinks they are hunting you. She has a male friend for reaffirmation and as long as he plays to that she thinks that SHE is leading him when in reality HE is leading her. Right to some mouth love because once again….to a woman, that aint. Sex. But to the dirty male friend, a shot in your mouth is MORE than enough to validate his hunt. Now THIS can create an issue because he may still want to be friend while she thinks “We fucked so we are dating, right?” Or vice versa but that is honestly less likely. 3. Know Thy Enemy To Defeat Them On Their Own Battlefield. Now this is rare because most men are not resourceful unless it comes to hunting. Like I always say, the easiest way to win a fight is to know your opponents move before they make it and this is a good strategy. In my time I have gotten to know women by observing them in their own environment and analyizing what they do and why they do it. Now this right here USUALLY gives you what I have which is called the “Soylent Green Syndrome”:
That means that once you see observe them and find out their motis operandi, you really get spoiled to them and it makes it hard to want to be around them because you know what they do, why they do it and it ruins you to ever wanting to be with one. It also gives you a leg up on them in all arguments but it costs you because you will never be able to date one because women don’t like to argue, they like to win. Which they CAN’T logically which means you stay lonely.
You see, men aren’t inherently SMART as much as they are inherently LOGICAL. Being logical doesn’t mean being smart because if it was Steve Irwin would be alive rather than being a punch line for stingray jokes. At least his is for ME. That is why LOGICALLY a man will think that having a female friend will end up in at some point having a friend with benefits. Now women think the exact same way sometimes, but it isn’t the NORM among them because women don’t want to be known as whores. It’s kind of like how niggas don’t want to be known as “smarty-art niggas.” Now when a man decides that he wants to hit that he will pull out all the stops. Like Austin/Rock II, he will use steel chairs and whatever else is around to be able to turn that friendship into a fuckship. Damn…I’M GOOD. Now if his goal was to fuck you in the beginning, and he isn’t able to fuck you because you are running off of the “I thought we were friends” lie you led yourself to believe then he will do what any animal that’s prey has escaped or thwarted it: it will find other prey. Is it fair? No. Is it LOGICAL? Fuck yes, stop being a moron. Life sucks and so do some people.
In Closing: Men want female friends to be friends with benefits (which is stupid) because at the end of the day all you are is a boyfriend with NO benefits.
Reason #3: Men And Women Cannot Be Friends Because….You Can’t Treat Them The Same
This ties the first two together for the most part. Now this ends up being funny because of how women expect men to treat their male friends. Now when women see men interact it is usually based on an alpha male mentality of bros, GI’s and fucktards. So women think that all men are rude, loud and obnoxious to their male friends and they expect that in turn from them so they think that by doing so that they will be able to “fit in” and be “one of the guys” which makes sense on the surface. Same as women who think that liking sports makes them a “tomboy” and easier to fit into discussions with men and makes them “friends.” Congrats, ladies. You are officially morons. Just liking hip hop doesn’t make you Black, enjoying musicals doesn’t make you gay (IT FUCKING DOESN’T! GET SOME CULTURE, BITCHES!) and knowing the difference between a skinny post and a fade route doesn’t make you a man (although I do). Just because you can talk about sports doesn’t mean you can have male friends. It means that he has a conversation point while he is staring at your tits and thinking of new ways to penetrate the zone (My innuendo is priceless).
Being a friend isn’t only about interests, it’s about knowing EACH OTHER. It is about knowing what that person likes, dislikes and their pain points. This is where the beginning of the male/female friend dynamic begins to fade. There is an emotional aspect that goes past insults and random acts of alcohol induced play violence (which usually ends in BROOOOOOOOOO!) into the realm of knowing that what a person says is in jest. Women from what I have gathered in my interactions with my friends of the female gender cannot take the way I treat them if I treat them how I REALLY treat my male friends. You see, there is some things called irony and cerebral humor. Case in point, at one point a female friend of mine was talking about going to the gym because her boyfriend was looking at other girls and she felt she was getting out of shape. Now I am SURE she wanted the “not-quite-boyfriend-but-treat me like one” response of telling her how pretty she was and that wasn’t fair of him to say. Instead….
Me: “Well….I didn’t want to say anything but you are kind of letting yourself go. I mean not everyone can be bufferelli like me but if we hit the gym we could have you looking Bi hot in no time!” Female Friend: (LITERALLY near tears) ….how could you say that?! What kind of friend says that shit to someone?! Other Male Friend: Hell, he said it to me yesterday. But I’m working on it, too! Check out his guns! Female Friend: You two are dicks. Me: Yes, but a dick with buff guns!
You see, that’s what we in the NORMAL SECTION OF SOCIETY call a fucking joke. She wasn’t fat, she was actually very attractive and fishing for sympathy which I don’t give unless it is truly needed (death in the family, break up of favorite boy band, etc.). My male friends have NEVER fished for sympathy from me and I don’t fish for it from them because first off we give it when it is needed and we do so with a dose of “what the fuck were you doing?!” I personally believe that is a healthier friendship than telling someone what they want to hear all the time because that just reinforces stupidity and that is good for NO ONE. Yet, my friendship with female friends has usually (READ: USUALLY. I don’t need no shit from any of you just quite yet. I will earn it later) been predicated on how much I will listen to the bitch about how someone (usually a man) wronged them for being stupid and how much correct advise I can give them that they don’t use and end up in the same situation.
You see, I can call Zach a fattie because he ISN’T FAT and he doesn’t get upset about it. I can call Griff a terrorist and he will laugh because he ISN’T A TERRORIST. They both call me queer because I am NOT GAY. You see my logic here? I don’t understand the emotional aspect of a female/male friend dynamic when one can treat the other any way they want to while the other has to walk on eggshells. That’s not a fucking friendship. Friendship is about consensus and understanding. Now if not actually TREATING a female friend how you treat the rest of your friends (Yes, even some other female friends can handle it) is the agreement then more power to you. Just remember, if you have a friend you treat differently they aren’t really a friend: they are an acquaintance.
In Closing: If you want to be treated (as a friend) differently because you are a woman then you are no better than the terrorists.
Reason #4: Men And Women Cannot Be Friends Because….They Can’t Relate
This goes back to number three. Now just because you like sports and talk about tittes doesn’t make you a man. Sorry, Maxim but it doesn’t. It makes you a Neanderthal so go back to using your sticks and rocks, caveman. While you do that, I will be getting concealed weapons permit and working on legislation to legally kill you because you are nothing but blood clots on society. So women run under the assumption that if they like what guys like it makes them easier to fit in and more accepted as friends rather than lady parts. Let’s look at this logically once again. To typecast all men as sports lovers is fucking stupid. Not all men like the same sports and some of them aren’t really interested at all. So at that point you have to exit your comfort zone and as we all know, women like cats, dislike and avoid exiting their territory/comfort zone…unless they are drunk or in heat in which they will rub up on anything that doesn’t push them away. I have lived it and it is NOT COOL. Both on the cat and the woman aspect of that statement. So if as a woman you have a male friend that doesn’t fall into your stereotype of what a male should be (tittes, beer and sports) you have a hard time relating to them and that creates a very difficult dynamic, especially for the male.
Case in point. Let’s use real life examples to compare how what women THINK men like and what generic men like overlap:
What Generic Men Like:
• Boobies (Givers of life…and more overrated than Amare Stoudamire) • Beer (Aside from Blue Moon, the nastiest substance on Earth) • Baseball (Sports in general, which YES men like but if it is your life you really need to just shut the fuck up and play it) • Cars (The more obnoxious and cock supplementing the better. I always say, women don’t want to fuck the guy with the car that gets great gas mileage and has a high resale value) • Guns (Once again, can be seen as a cock replacement. Women that like guns have issues)
What Women THINK Men Like:
• Boobies (Because they have them. See, we already have something in common! Dipshits) • Beer (To which women should never have. I think alcohol should be barred from women’s consumption altogether but I also believe they shouldn’t be allowed to vote) • Baseball (Seriously, this is getting stupid. I like talking to women who have actually PLAYED THE GAME rather than women who watch because Tom Brady is hot. I watch Japanese women’s wrestling because I respect their sport and they PUT IN WORK:
NOT because they are hot. But I do loves me some Azumi Hyuga. DESTINY HAMMAR-OOOOO! • Cars (Girls don’t like boys, they like cars and money. It’s true because it's science) • Guns (Hmm. Women that like guns are usually basket cases. I am sorry, they just are)
You see? Since what women THINK men like and what the generic stereotypical male likes overlap almost 100%, women can “effectively” be friends with some males. Although you need to watch out for the Nati Ice and cheap scotch. Now look at it when I add in what my friends and I like and try to parallel that to what women THINK men like:
What I Like:
• Anime (It kicks ass and you know it. I would rather watch Death Note or Bleach over Lost or Heroes any day of the fucking week. And always do) • Musicals/Plays (You know, I have asked women to musicals and I usually get told that it is a gay thing to do. Well, if getting a little bit of culture rather than drinking myself stupid and getting frisky with the first guy that gets you a drink is gay then sign me up. I’d rather be boyfriend and boyfriend than end up with an STD) • J-Pop (It is not a phase. American music sucks balls and a half and at least I can only understand about 10% of it so if it does suck I don’t know it. I KNOW American music sucks because I speak the English) • Video Games (Ladies, Halo and Call of Duty are NOT video games. Those are bro rape tools. REAL video games require more than ADD, y-axis knowledge and some douchey friends to play. Or playing a fake guitar to shitty Southern rock or waving a white phallus around. Pick up some Castlevania: Symphony of the Night and then we will talk)
Now adding that with what women THINK men like, you see a very large gap in terms of what female friends and I can relate about. Also, if there is one thing that I am noticing lately it is that men are getting stupider while my friends and I are getting smarter. The gap between our intelligence and those of our peers has gotten to the point that in just generic conversation I am speaking over their heads without even trying. Now I am not going to say I am Ozymandias or Emil Burbank but I believe that I am of above average intelligence. With that, I get told by female friends (and females in GENERAL) that I either:
1. Talk down to them 2. Talk above their heads 3. Make them feel like I am annoyed when I talk to them 4. Want to talk about things that they don’t want to talk about 5. Make them feel unintelligent (Which is a word, I guess) 6. Act pretentious (Which would be true if she knew what the word actually meant) 7. Overall just plain mean and egotistical
Since women expect a man’s brain pattern to “boobies, beer and balls…lather, rinse, repeat” whether friends or boyfriends then when you are a man that breaks that cycle it become difficult to actually interact with them or engage in any meaningful conversation without it ending in “well, I guess we will have to agree to disagree.” First off, in football when you lose 45-10 you can’t walk up to the ref and say “well, guess I will accept a tie” because you kind of….lost. In the end, unless you fit a certain mold that a female is expecting out of a male friend it becomes highly difficult to relate to them.
In Closing: Women don’t want male friends as much as they want a prototype. If you aren’t what is familiar you are either a threat to her control or an infatuation that must be tamed/conquered and that ends worse than just being a threat.
Reason #5: Men And Women Cannot Be Friends Because….Neither Knows Their Role
You know, I think back to when I was younger (1st through 5th grade or so) and I realized something. I had an even amount of friends from both sexes. We all loved videogames, we all loved cartoons and we all went outside and played at the park together with no sexual tension. Now at that age none of us KNEW what sexual tension WAS but at the same time it was a more innocent time then. Hell, my best friend for my first three years of grade school was a girl named Jessy Kim (literally…weird Korean family they were. SO THAT’S WHERE IT STARTED!) and she and I played Sega Master System and watched Jem all the time. What? She’s outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous:
Either way, even in school no one even HINTED about the fact we was “boyfriend and girlfriend” just like I wasn’t “boyfriend and boyfriend” with my other best friend Mike. You know the only people who did? Our fucking teachers. Either way, I moved overseas to Italy and I didn’t see her again until 1996 when her dad got stationed at Buckley AFB in Denver and my parents took me along to visit while they treated us like 6 year olds again and had the “we grown folks gonna listen to old school R&B and drink while you guys stay in the basement” party. You know what we did? We played Super Nintendo all evening and talked about the good old days. Just like I would do when I visited other friends from overseas with friends of mine that were dudes. So when did everything change? When did it get to the point that I couldn’t have a female friend with all the bullshit that comes along with their broken psyche?
Now here is why I say this. In college, I had female friends and aside from one (which did NOT end well and most of you know about her) we stayed JUST FRIENDS. Some were single, some were married, some were lesbians (who were honestly some of my best friends period) but at the end of the day the dynamic I had with them then is nothing like I have with my female friends now. Back then, I wasn’t a free psychiatrist that had to literally drill knowledge into a female friends head so I could focus the conversation on something (or fuck, ANYTHING) else aside from how they constantly go through the same motions even though they know the motions are bad. It is like always telling someone to not cut the zone in basketball when they have no post game. You either work on the game in practice until you feel it can work in a game-time situation or you go with your strengths. However, it seems that is never what happens and “hanging out” with females ends up being a futile attempt to teach a puppy QUANTUM-FUCKING-PHYSICS!
When it comes to a friendship, I think that it is the only emotional dynamic that men do BETTER than women because males think of friendships LOGICALLY. Follow my lead here. Usually the sole reason men are friends with other men is that they have something in common. If they hang out and realize that all they have in common is that one thing then they only have that friend when they want to do that ONE THING. I am not going to hang with my friends that don’t like sports and make them watch college football with me. In contrast, a lot of my friends like to go to the gun range and I am not a fan of just so they don’t ask me to go. Now I am in a weird boat because aside for a few things my friends and I all enjoy the same hobbies (video games, manga, anime, showtunes, Zac Efron, etc.) so it works but women on the other hand will hang out with a friend in a place that they DO NOT want to take that friend to and that will put a strain on their friendship. That at its core is an illogical action because it ends in tension that could easily be avoided.
Now the think we all know and seems to be unsaid is that a male friend to a female is NOT allowed to say JACKSHIT. You are literally there for the ride that is her not having to cavort like the Greeks of old with her female friends that either she doesn’t like or are less reliable than she is. A big reason for this is because normally a female will find a male friend that they know will protect them whether it’s because they want to fuck them in the ass or they are generally concerned about them. Women don’t care, just as long as there is someone to pick their drunken ass off the bar after they fall from dancing to “Redneck Woman” because bitches love that song. Guess what? Redneck women get their KNOCKED UP and KNOCKED OUT. Remember that. Back to the point, most men are protective to the point that they won’t let a female friend go home with a random dude and for that she will usually say in a staggering and drunken state “You are such a good friend!” as she vomits on your shoe. Women need security and familiar surroundings and that is exactly why you are there. I PERSONALLY believe it is your own life and if you want to fuck a random dude then knock yourself out and be the best whore you can be, just don’t deny that you are one after the fact. There is a reason why women invite their male friends out while boyfriends take their girlfriends out. Women see and invite as something they have to return and they either don’t want to be known as “that type of girl” or they don’t care and will use men for whatever they can get out of them in which more power to you; I am sure your mother is proud and that is what is EXACTLY what she fought for when she wanted the right to vote, go into the military and get equal pay for equal work. You are a trendsetter.
Back to the point. At the end of the day, a major issue why men and women can’t be friends is that both keep on fucking up the roles of “friend.”
Women see a “male friend” as:
• An unpaid psychiatrist that either must tell them what they want to hear or just console • A source of affirmation for poor decisions that they have already made • A crying shoulder for shit they have already been told how to fix • Someone they can be drunk and act like they do with their female friends • A male point of view that has to fit her preconceived notion of how a man will respond • Someone so she can say “I have platonic male friends!” • A person she can use as a threat to her boyfriend/husband to keep him in line (Bitch!)
MOST MEN see a “female friend” as:
• An easy way to meet other (usually hotter and sluttier) women • Six Long Island Iced Teas and a pity party away from being open to anal sex • A pair of tits to look at during commercial breaks during the NFC Championship Game • A talking batch of ladyparts
Meanwhile, I see a “female friend” as:
• A friend that they can treat like they do every one of their “male friends” (Which is never the case. All this time women wanted equality and they want to be treated different as kids? Rosa Parks and Joan Of Arc are rolling in their graves!) • Someone too fucked up to date (I kid, I kid! Besides, all women are too fucked up to date. LE BURN!) • Forced on them as the wife/fiancée/girlfriend of their best friend (Nothing personal, you are just taking away my homie)
In Closing: A friend is a friend, male or female. I consider all my friends the same whether male, female, cat or dog. Well, not Sasquatch. For Sasquatch, the rules are different. Aside from that, it is irrational to treat your female friends any different than you do your male friends especially in a dynamic where the scales are tipped to heavily to one side (where the woman is just being used for sex or where the man is just being used for repeated and consistent emotional support….or sex which is what I would prefer). The reason men and women can’t USUALLY (READ AGAIN FOR YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS THAT DON’T PAY ATTENTION. USUALLY!!) can’t be friends is that an inter-gender friendship, just like a boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic, is a relationship that has to be built off of trust, understanding and consensus. Just like an unhealthy relationship, an unhealthy friendship can happen if one doesn’t treat the other party fairly or relies on them too much for support. A friendship is about three little words:
SKID ROW BRO
Understand that a friendship is a dynamic and you will be able to have a friend of the opposite sex without feeling like you are being lusted after unrequitedly by someone not interested in your friendship as much as they are being inside you. You can also be happy knowing that your friend isn’t just using you for emotional support that you cannot continue to give if they don’t listen or act accordingly. If you get those down, you too could have an inter-gender click you can call your own:
Undergrads, bitches! WHAT?! Damn, that was a doozy. I hope all of you enjoyed it and learned something. If not….eh, that’s life.
The new Douchebrawl Champ will be crowned in 4 hours!!!
