I am saying this right here and right now: I am never going to make fun of Rihanna again…because I AM HER. God, maybe he really WILL CHANGE this time.
So with that being said, you know what I hate? People who gleefully know that what they do isn’t working and rather than fix it, get upset when you point out a fix. I mean seriously? Are you that happy to be wrong just because you can “learn” from it? You know, just because you CAN make a mistake doesn’t mean you have to. I am living proof! Like that time I got kicked out of G-Wiz:
Man, I totally could have been part of a somewhat successful mid-90’s new jack swing group with a modest R&B hit that only seven people remember. Dammit all to hell! Anyway, today was one of the most fury inducing days I have had in a long ass time. Here are a few things that people need to learn about me real quick:
1. NEVER ASK MY OPINION IF YOU AREN’T READY FOR WHAT YOU WILL HEAR: Listen, I give stories and I rant but how often to I actually give my REAL OPINION on shit? NEVER because what I feel about what your dumb ass just asked will turn your world asunder. So if you ask me and I give it…don’t get upset because your ideas aren’t working. Half of my ideas never work and the other half piss people off so I know what it feels like to be told you have a bad idea but take the advice and run with it. Or don’t fucking ask…jackass.
2. If You Give Leadership To Several With No Ability To Lead, Then You Have No Leadership: Leadership by committee only works if someone knows what they are doing. It is kind of like Dr. Spock to Captian Kirk. Or to a lesser extent, Kiff to Zapp Brannigan. If you don’t have someone behind you smarter than you running the ship then YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. There, I said it. It is like having Pinky, Gilligan and Betty Boop running a cookie factory. Yes, comedy would ensue but many people would die and all the cookies would be fucked up.
3. I Don’t Fucking Like Coffee: It won’t wake me up so quit telling me to have some. Anything you have to spruce up with 19 flavors to make it tolerable really shouldn’t be drank. Soju tastes like pain but god damn IT DOES ITS FUCKING JOB. Coffee is just nasty and if you need it to be awake then you need help. Try crack!
4. It Is None Of Your Business What I Am Doing: My family hasn’t asked me what I was doing since I was like 12. You know why? They know the less they know about what I do, the less they can tell the cops when something bad happens. “Officer, I think I would know if he was selling Cambodian sex slaves via Ebay. And I tell you, I saw nothing out of the ordinary! Except for a shitload of Cambodians but who DOESN’T have them now-a-days?” So if they don’t ask, who in the fuck are you to ask? Seriously, unless I am downloading loli porn (In which case I would need a bigger monitor because lolis are small) don’t ask so many fucking questions.
5. I Really Don’t Care: So stop asking. Seriously, how many ways can I say I don’t give a fuck?
Also, I was talking to a friend of mine about being shallow and we just thought of the most awesome line EVAR:
“I’m so shallow I don’t care about how you look, I care about how you DON’T look.”
Ladies and gentlemen…that is the most awesomely horrible thing I have said in a long while. Not my personal opinion (I am to indifferent to be shallow personally, mostly because no one will ever love me without money involved) but youhave to admit that shit is funny. You know, a few of you have said that my anger has gotten out of control lately. I need something to calm me down…
Aaaahhh, that makes me feel better. Well, I am out for now. Zebra theory up soon.
Chachi Out
