IT’S ME BITCHES!!!
I am back after a lengthy hiatus (Been gone since Sunday I believe, and that is long seeing as how I had like 23 straight days of posts) and all I can say is that it has been a very….taxing three days. I aint gonna trip because it was my own choosing but at the same time…sometimes you got to chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. Preach it, 40 Water…preach it.
So enough with being a downer as hopefully shit will fix itself up soon. I DO have a huge issue with some things out there and dammit, now is as good a time as any to get some shit off of my chest.
Issue #1: Reality BITES!
Okay, after hearing people say that “The Hills” and “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” weren’t like normal reality shows, I figured since I have a few free days on my hands I will watch a few minutes of each. All I can say is that if this is what passes for entertainment in America….we need to die off. Since when was White people with problems entertainment? White people getting mauled by animals is entertainment, not seeing them cry on cue because they are “sad” which isn’t allowed to be an emotion for white people because you are FUCKING WHITE. I look at being White and unhappy the same way I look at women being broke: it is your own fucking fault. Just like if ladies are broke they aint trying (Pussy and its illusion will always sell. Not to me, but so some lonely fuck out there) the same goes for White people. Being White is like being a 7-foot Black dude in the projects: if you aint ballin then you aint trying. So I could give a fuck about reality TV because that shit aint reality. I’ve seen The Real World film in Denver (I was in the background on 16th Street Mall and at the Monarch. I’m….so lame) and aint nothing real about it. It is filmed like your everyday, run of the mill TV show except with a lower budget and more stupidity since there are no scripts. Don’t forget: Hitler loved the MTV. You’re better than Hitler….aren’t you?
Issue #2: Ayo, Technology. USE IT, BITCHES!
So today on my way to the store when I saw a bike at a stoplight on Murray and something (Before Pikes Peak but after Galley I think) and there was a bike there. At the light. Waiting for it to turn green. Well, after a full cycle his light didn’t turn green and he got all pissy and looked at me and motioned if he could cross the intersection. Now disregard the fact I had THE GREEN FUCKING LIGHT and green means move your ass. There was other traffic to adhere to for one and for two YOU ARE A FUCKING BIKE. Understand one thing, bike riders:
YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING CAR. Let me elaborate for you brain-dead shits. In the battle between cars and bikes…CARS WIN, ASSHAT! I do not understand who bike riders think they are expecting to have the same rights as a car. It is like Blacks in the South: there are a lot of ways things SHOULD be but at the end of the day you are the minority. Deal with it; you do not have the same rights so either go somewhere that you do (LIKE THE FUCKING SIDEWALK….or Oregon. Fucking hippies) or understand your place. You are not as big as a car but you are bigger than a person. Run the sidewalk and leave the streets to things with motors and four tires (Or two REAL tires like some motorcycles). Oh, and keep scooters of my streets. Yes you save gas but if you can’t go over 40 without fishtailing then maybe you need to take that 10 horsepower piece of crap back to the factory. Yet if I run them off the road, I’M the bad guy for eliminating the blood clots of society. Where is the justice?!
Issue #3: For Some Reason….I Hate Miami.
I am not sure why, either. I think it has to do with the shittiest music movement since all rappers trying to copy MC Hammer. There is only one Hammer. After the “Turn This Mutha Out” video everyone from LL Cool J to Big Daddy Kane was trying to fucking dance in their videos. It was not a good time for hip hop. Now it seems we are back at a crossroads that I thought we passed but lo and behold we have the movement of the Miami (Or just Florida in general) rap scene into the forefront and all I can say is I really wish they would just go the hell back. Let’s look at the last major hip hop movement from a city: Chicago.
Kanye West: Say what you will about his arrogance and ill-timed and ill-informed politics there are few better on the mic.
Common: Arguably the best pure lyricist of the Chicago movement. Quietly released two great albums over the last four years.
Lupe Fiasco: After an album that went over most hip hop fans heads in “Food & Liquor” he has mixed up a little bit of pop and grind into an individual sound that works for everyone.
GLC: SO UNDERRATED! Not as talented as the rest of those from The Chi, but he can hold his own against any fucktard that came from St. Louis. Chingy and Huey…..I am so looking at you.
Instead we are stuck with a slew of shitty….SHITTY rappers that followed Trick Daddy (Who actually has his moments….just not many) and Pitbull (Who I actually like. CULO!) that leave a lot to be desired. The desire that they DIDN’T SUCK. Let’s have a rundown
Rick Ross: Thinks he is The Notorious BIG, more like a Guerllia Black with worse flow. Rhyming “back” with “back?” FUCK YOU, NIGGA. And wear a fucking shirt. You are scaring the children.
Flo-Rida: *Sigh* Where do I start with this? He is like….Nelly with male pattern baldness. “Low” was catchy until they started using it for home re-consolidation commercials and became Dick Cheney’s ringtone and now all of his songs sound the same. Because they are the same. Have to admit, he is catchy but so were Hitler’s speeches. I’m just saying.
DJ KHALED: What….exactly does this man do? Also, this kick of Puerto Ricans or whatever in the hell he is saying “nigga” has to end with Fat Joe. He was the first to do it in a major way so it is too late to stop him now but he needs to cut back, too. Someone needs to slap the shit out of Khaled for being the new millennium DJ Clue. Fuck him, too.
Plies: You ugly, mush-mouthed motherfucker. Way to dumb down Black males and show that we are nothing more than goons, thugs and most importantly pants sagging coons. Check out his wordplay:
Hey feds, heard your bringing my name up. No you want me to die think I give a f**k (f**k). Better date me now before my price go up (up). Came in the world thuggin, leaving with big nuts (nuts). yah I run with killas homie so what, what you want me to tell sold you to lil dust? Sitting on your foreign, I bet he leave butts Ain't scared to go I believe in jesus.
Um…yeah. Nothing I can say can top that. Niggerdom at its finest. If you like Plies you should be shot in the fucking face. Have you seen his big lipped, masked “Goon” chain? My god….you just R. Kelly’d on the movement you fuck.
All of the Florida rappers to come out fucking suck. Understand something and understand it good: hip hop is like football. It isn’t THAT hard. They act like it is so difficult and they are so much better than us mere mortals but at the end of the day I even I can get four yards a carry behind the right offensive line. If you aren’t going to try to be any good then don’t get pissy when people call you out for being a suckass. In hip hop being rich means you are good which is SO not true but you can’t tell those cockmongers that so I give up. I officially hate rap again.
Well, that is all for now. I will try to be up tomorrow but the Countdown will be on Friday as scheduled. I am seeing Wall-E (and maybe “Wanted” depending on when I go) on Friday and I’m helping Copper move on Saturday so if anyone wants to hit up the D&B on Sunday let me know. I needs me some fun after this week. Peace out, ya’ll.
Chachi Out.
