Morning, peeps! It's been a whole since I have been on and I first want to thank you for attending...er...reading the Chachi Awards! All three of you. Two more than I expected, so it works out in the end.
Seeing as how I won't have the middle of the day to sit back and update this anymore, it is about time to get started on the staple of this blog. The Battle of the Asshats is back, peeps! I give to you....
The 2nd Annual Tom Cruise Douchebrawl 2007!!!
Yeah, you know it. The suprise, suspense and all-round awesomeness of last years tourney begins again! This year, I will do it a little different. Beginning....in like eight minutes I will have a stack ranking of the 16 entrants per region. Depending on YOUR VOTES (and my input) the brackets will be modified until the start date of 2/23/2007 in which the battle will begin! At that point, it will be the same as last year, voting for each match-up until the winner is chosen by the peeps. As usual, I will only vote in the case of a tie. So the power is YOURS! Da-dun-dun! Captain Planet reference...eh, fuck it. Abyway, I give to you the first set of rankings of the participants. ESPN has Bracketology, here at the Passion of Chachi (I'm open to a name change, BTW. Its been a year it is time for something new.) we have.....
DOUCHEOLOGY!!!
Yeah, not as disgusting as it sounds. Here we go, peeps!
The 50 Cent Musicians Region
1. Bono (Last Year # 3)
2. Diddy (Last Year #4)
3. Clay Aiken (New Entrant)
4. Eminem (New Entrant)
5. Toby Keith (New Entrant)
6. Nelly (Last Year #2)
7. Fall Out Boy (New Entrant)
8. The Fray (New Entrant)
9. Dave Matthews Band (Last Year #13)
10. James Blount (New Entrant)
11. Akon (New Entrant
12. Snoop Dogg (Last Year # 6)
13. Fergie (New Entrant)
14. Gwen Stefani (New Entrant)
15. Usher (New Entrant, Tenative)
16. Carrie Underwood (New Entrant)
Okay, I understand that this years musician bracket is rather top heavy. Truth is I avoid music in english so I'm not hip to the new notes. However, this is the first set of rankings and that is what voting is for. However, Bono and Diddy aren't moving. They are the Duke and North Carolina of douches: as long as they have 20 wins they are a top seed. Usher is only in if an album is not released by the day Douchebrawl starts. If there is new music by him before or on that date all is forgiven. If not, prepare to meet Diddy in the first round, asshole. Eminem and Toby Keith make high debuts this years as does Fallout Boy (who SUCKS!) while Nelly gets on here for breathing. Oh, and 50 Cent has a region named after him! Lets just hope he doesnt get a street named after him. Curtis Jackson Blvd could be the new Em-El-Kay. That's MLK or Martin Luther King Blvd for you stupid people. Next set of participants are in the....
The George Lucas Actor/Actress Region
1. Mel Gibson (Last Year #2)
2. Ashton Kutcher (New Entrant to the Actor Region)
3. George Clooney (Last Year #7)
4. Nick Cage (New Entrant)
5. Ben Affleck (Last Year #4)
6. Jack Black (New Entrant)
7. Leonardo DiCaprio (New Entrant)
8. Colin Farrel (Last Year #10)
9. Heath Ledger (Last Year #8)
10. Hayden Christensen (Last Year #9)
11. Russell Crowe (New Entrant. HOW DID I FORGET THIS ASSHOLE?!)
12. Paul Walker (New Entrant)
13. Julia Roberts (Last Year #5)
14. Benicio Del Toro (New Entrant)
15. Brad Pitt (Last Year # 14)
16. Kevin Costner (New Entrant)
With Tom Cruise becoming the namesake of this thing, I had to pick another asshole to be the name of this thing. Since there was no way in FUCK I was taking Mel Gibson out, I chose George Lucas. No one has screwed up more childhoods (except maybe Michael Jackson) than that dickhead. As you can see, the entrants havent changed much from last year. The only real change is that I put Ashton Kutcher in the Actor Region because...I wanted more room in the Fucktard Region. That and he kind of acts. Aside from Russell Crowe (who I cannot BELIEVE I FORGOT LAST YEAR! WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME!) and DiCRAPrio it is the same gang of idiots. It is so gonna rule if it is Aston vs. Mel, that would be so killer. It is up to the peeps to make it stick. Toss some names out, I dont keep up with the movies like I used to. The next rankings are for the suprise of last years Douchebrawl....
The Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region
1. Tara Reid (Last Year #2)
2. Paris Hilton (New Entrant. Yeah, this shocked the shit out of me too)
3. Angelina Jolie (New Entrant)
4. Britney Spears (Last Year #1)
5. Cameron Diaz (Last Year # 3)
6. Jessica Simpson (Last Year # 8)
7. Lindsay Lohan (Last Year #5)
8. Pamela Anderson (Last Year # 13)
9. Janet Jackson (New Entrant)
10. Kumi Koda (New Entrant)
11. Jennifer Lopez (Last Year # 6)
12. Nicole Ritchie (New Entrant)
13. Pussycat Dolls (New Entrant)
14. Drew Barrymore (Last Year #7)
15. Courtney Love (New Entrant)
16. Sarah Jessica Parker (Last Year #9)
I still can't believe Heather Graham won last year. That was just the proof that it is all about the power of the people. I so thought Britney had this on LOCKDOWN. This year there are A LOT of new entrants. The biggest names being Paris Hilton and Angelina Jolie (I have no idea how I missed Paris. I must have been drunk as hell or something) making debuts. Kumi Koda, despite my love for her, snuck in here as well. After learning the lyrics to 'Cherry Girl' (Men are like rodeo horses, they are easily used? Who the fuck is she, Debra Winger?!) she needs to be here because that song is the new whore anthem. (Update: FUCK YEAH, Bleach 112 just finished downloading!). Lindsay, Cameron and J-Lo all fell this year, more about their lack of relevance than their ending to their trampdom. Your input is valued in this region, but it looks pretty good. Lastly, we have the personal favorite of mine...
The Andy Dick Fucktard Region
1. Kevin Federline (Last Year #1)
2. Nick Cannon (New Entrant)
3. Terrell Owens (New Entrant)
4. Quentin Tarrentino (Last Year #3)
5. Wilmer Valderrama (Last Year #10)
6. Flavor Flav (New Entrant)
7. Ryan Seacrest (New Entrant)
8. Verizon Guy (New Entrant)
9. David Spade (Last Year #7)
10. Bill O’Riley (New Entrant)
11. Alec Baldwin (Last Year #4)
12. John Cena (New Entrant. EDGE IS THE REAL CHAMP, BITCH!)
13. Carson Daly (New Entrant)
14. MTV VJ’s (Last Year #13)
15. Peyton Manning (Last Year # 8)
16. Jimmy Kimmel (New Entrant)
FUCK NICK CANNON!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT HIM! Well he is in this year and he is #2 for starters. Peeps, he is damn near a lock. Now I know what you are thinking. Hey, shouldnt this region be named after K-Fuck?! The answer is yes. However, he is just too much of a Douche to NOT be in here. I had to give him another chance, so I named the region after Andy Dick, even though I named all of Douchebrawl after him last year. Taking a look at this region, T.O. makes his debut in this after a mindfuck of a 2006. Man I can't stand him anymore. Oh, and John Cena pisses me off. I know none of you are wrestling fans but to beat Edge (Who turned the negatives of banging a another man's old lady into being WWE champ and my favorite wrestler. Viva Canada!) IN CANADA in a TLC match was bullshit. Fuck John Cena in his stupid head. I should put Vince McMahon here but that is just redundant. Take a look at Survivor Series 1997 to see his douchebaggery in full power. A mere tourney cannot hold his Douche-itude. We also have Papa Bear in this region again, solely because my blog is owned by those Leftist fuckers at Fox News. Bleeding heart pussies they are. Anyway, this region should have ALOT of input.
Well, this is the first posting of Doucheology! I will try to have it up once a week or so to give updates on how the brackets are looking. Tomorrow is the Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown and there has been a MASSIVE SHAKE UP!! See you tomorrow, peeps!!
Live, Laugh, Learn and Love.
