So this weekend was an eye-opener and I realized something: nuclear holocaust must happen right the fuck now. Over the last three days I have lost whatever faith I had in humanity (Which was very fucking little), what little respect I had for women (If ANY, actually. Sorry but I watched an episode of "The Hills" and just for that you all should be shot in the fucking face) and have come to realize that even though we as a human race are at rock bottom someone finds a way to lower the fucking bar of asshatery. I am not going to say I want the terrorists to win but man, they bring up some valid points about how Americans are fucktards. The problem is that radical Muslims are the ULTIMATE in fucktards so it is like me calling Big Van Vader a fat-ass:
Which I would never do because he would go sick-house on my fat ass. I LIKE my ass, gentlemen.
So we all know that the majority of people see being refined or having any sort of appreciation for anything not reality TV, shitty hip hop or low-brow humor as being gay and women are one brain cell short of being lower on the intelligence scale than cats (Which gives them too much credit because cats RULE YOUR FACE, BITCHES!) but that was expected and I have accepted that as the norm. It is true and none of you can prove me wrong so eat a fucking dick. However, this takes the cake that proves that women and niggas need to be eliminated as soon as possible and Persacons need to hit the market ASAP (Are you listening, Japan?! Quit obsessing about used panties and MAKE SOME GODDAMN ROBOTS YOU SOULLESS PRICKS!). I had MTV Jams on as background noise as I was getting ready to head up to Denver on Saturday (A story in itself, I tell you what) when I heard something that may have cause a rip in the space/suck continuum and may end up destroying civilization as we know it forever. Nelly and Fergie made a song together:
If there was ever proof that niggas and bitches will inherit the Earth, this is your fucking proof. Can someone explain to me why Nelly hasn’t been shot already? Remember when rappers were getting shot like they were squirrels in Alabama during the summertime? I miss those days because this man needs to GO. Not necessarily DIE as much as needs to go far, far away and stay off of my TV, radio and interweb. As for Fergie….women are fucking idiots and find her more of a role model than Carol Moseley Braun and Dana Perino (Ladies, if you DON’T know who they are then get your ass in the kitchen because you have no idea about anything. If you do, I tip my hat to you. You are one of the smart ones and you are awesome) so quite simply I expect her to never disappear. However, this is what pisses me off about this. Nelly has three Grammys. Fergie has two Grammys. That is a total of five since 2000. You know how many Frank Sinatra had in his career? Nine, ten if you count the “Lifetime Achievement Award” he got. So let me get this straight….
NELLY AND FERGIE ARE HALFWAY TO BEING AS GOOD AS THE CHAIRMAN OF THE MOTHERFUCKING BOARD?!
This is why music sucks and why people suck even more. Frank Sinatra is a legend of music, stage and cinema and yet we give movie roles to 50 Cent and call him a thespian (Which is like calling any woman a “virgin” because she only sucks dicks and does anal. Yes, you are a virgin in the BIBLICAL sense but can swallowing Listerine bring back your dignity? Or fix your wrecked rectum?) Say what you will (If you say anything at all) about my listening to J-pop, show tunes or classic music but at least it is better than anything Nelly or Fergie have put out. The fact that these two have ONE FUCKING GRAMMY TO SHARE shows that the concept of musical talent is lost on Americans, especially those between the ages of 16-30 because they are the combined largest market. They are also the combined STUPIDEST MARKET, as evident by the influx of shitty horror movies and crappy ass reality shows about stupid White fuckers with problems. Oh, and Flavor Flav’s ignorant coon ass. Yes, I fucking said COON and I will say it again. I am through playing around. Another year of douchery like 2007 and Blacks will be back in the fields and women will be back in the kitchen by 2009. Fix it and fix it RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. You cannot depend on Hillary and Obama to fix shit for you.
I know I shouldn’t be upset about this but goddamnit I have to live in this world, too. Stupid people fuck it up for the rest of us. Don’t believe me? See school shooters, terrorists, polygamists and Catholics. I rest my fucking case. If we don’t kill Fergie and Nelly now, the monster will end up killing us. Or something like that. Jesus said it or something so it must be true. Or maybe it was from “King Kong” or something. Either way, people suck. That is all.
It is so bedtime. I will be back at some point this week to offend the rest of you that I didn’t offend today. That pretty much means the Albanians. I got something for your swarthy asses. Until then, stay up peeps. Oh, and fuck bros. Had to fit that in seeing as how I am ripping people new ones and all.
Chachi Out.
